Mental health: ARE WE THERE YET?

The Troll Doll Channel: GORGEOUS Troll Makeovers!

Ah, YouTube! Such a glorious way to not re-LIVE, but re-DO my childhood, taking one element I loved and multiplying it like loaves and fishes. Since I can't keep a horse, this will have to do. But such fun I have. SO FAR, there has been no major blowback from the FTC/COPPA fiasco. NO one knows how to mark their videos now, and so far the only direct result has been YouTube labelling some vids for kids, even though they weren't meant that way. Strange are the ways of YT. But I"m keeping on keeping on, probably not buying as many this year due to our budget, but still wanting to play with them (I never played with dolls as a kid, and NEVER did anything with my trolls, none of which had outfits of any kind). It's fun, that's why, and YT is a way of sharing it with (I think!) other collectors. It's hard to see a six-year-old wanting to watch a video featuring 60-year-old troll dolls. No one says they CAN'T, but they weren't made for them. YT's algorithm is flagging some of them, but in their usual haphazard/scattershot way. It's all done by bot, and the bot has moods, I guess. It's a lot moodier and less consistent than any human being would be. 

Hedgehog Plays Piano. Jazz Style!

Many are the animals who run across, roll around on, lip, and paw the piano keys. Some almost sound like SOME kind of music, especially if an elaborate accompaniment is added. I hadn't seen the hedgehog one before. I'm not a big hedgie fan, as they always strike me as a cross between a porcupine and an armadillo. The way they roll up in a ball is a bit creepy. They're also bigger than I imagined: I thought they'd be hamster-sized, but instead look more the size of a guinea pig.

This is all for today, what with dealing with MORE health issues, and totally snowed in for now, a rarity in this part of the woods. I'm not sure what the affinity between animals and the piano keyboard is, but here it is. I think the hedgehog has the most natural musical flow, since the kitty is basically just pawing at keys randomly, and the others are just - silly. Playing all the black notes automatically sounds like jazz. Take that, jazz players! I'm going back to bed now.

Creepy old people: Victorian photography

Chameleon Circus!

 

 

BLOGGER'S OBSERVATONS: I remember the "chameleon". I had one as a kid, since they were wildly popular and readily available in any pet store for only a few dollars (and I loved lizards, snakes, frogs, toads, salamanders, newts, and whatever crawly things I could get my hands on). These weren't chameleons at all, of course, but tiny bright-green anole lizards.  My "chameleon" was sluggish at the best of times, and soon died. I saw no evidence of circus skills that could be exploited in a "real live animal act". 

The worst of it was that I had to keep a bag of LIVE meal worms in the refrigerator, where they went into semi-hibernation (which was supposed to keep them alive). They ended up scaring the hell out of my mother when she opened up the brown paper bag in the fridge, thinking it was the remnants of someone's lunch, and finding instead a writhing bag of worms.

Since the "chameleon" wasn't really a chameleon, it only had limited ability to change colour. Normally a bright neon green, it was supposed to turn brownish in low light. Frustrated that it wouldn't turn colour, and having been told it needed a dark place to change, I put it in my brother's clarinet case, with bad results. Due to the sudden shock of discovering a squirming lizard in his instrument case, my brother reacted violently and the chameleon went flying through the air, which was the closest it ever came to performing tricks. 

I saw a large anole, or some similar type of lizard, on my last trip to Hawaii, but like most lizards it mostly just sat there clinging to the bark of a tree, once in a while lunging at an insect. But in some videos, I was surprised to see anole lizards viciously fighting with each other. One wonders why such potentially-aggressive creatures were ever sold to children.

Maybe it was a circus romance? Unwilling or unable to walk tightropes or perform other such undignified tricks, maybe two rival males duked it out over a comely female anole, perhaps the type who did tricks on top of a galloping horse. In any case, it seems highly unlikely these lizards could or would perform high-wire tricks on command. In fact, they were most likely dead on arrival, like all those other "free" animals - capuchin monkeys, cute little "tea cup" chihuahuas ("Will you give me a home?"), etc., that you could get by selling salve door-to-door.

My anole was nice, for the three weeks or so it lasted, but it too went into a kind of dormant state, since my mother INSISTED I keep it in the (cold) basement. At least it didn't suffer the terrible fate of Bee Bee. The cat killed and ate my beloved budgie, which had been allowed to fly free in the house. One awful day, the budgie swooped down on the cat once too often. All we could find was a pile of turquoise feathers and one claw. He also mauled a hamster to death, but didn't bother eating it. 

Pets escape, and the results aren't pretty. But neither are battles to the death among tiny, misnamed lizards. I think you can still get anoles, but people are much more realistic about them now and keep them safely in terrariums - hopefully not housed with mortal enemies, so THIS won't happen.

How can you be "ill" and "well" at the same time? You can't

Something has happened in very recent times. Media are now referring to "mental health issues" rather than "mental illness". I used to wonder: how can you be "ill" and "well" at the same time? Basically, you can't. The labelling was problematic and very stigmatizing. Years ago, we spoke of "cancer victims", even if the person was still alive and recovering. That dire label was dumped at some point for words like "survivor" and "warrior". Language DOES affect the way we think, more than we consciously know. It is somewhat more palatable to say "I have mental health issues" rather than "I am mentally ill". It's supposed to mean the same thing, isn't it? If not, why not? But how miserable that second one is, locking a person into a category of lifelong illness with no possibility of parole.

Above all, the rush: Gershwin at the piano

Playwright S.N. Behrman summed up what it was like to be in Gershwin’s orbit: “I felt on the instant, when he sat down to play, the newness, the humor, above all the rush of the great heady surf of vitality. The room became freshly oxygenated; everybody felt it, everybody breathed it.” Another friend recalled, “You cannot imagine what a party was like when he was expected and he did not appear.” His death, needless to say, cast a pall over his soiree set. “When George died, a great many people felt not only sad but bored,” said Kay Swift, a composer and longtime romantic friend. “People thought that they could never sense that special joy again.”
  

Selected Gershwin Blingees

Welcome back. . . George.

Gershwin is a time traveller - you can see him out of the corner of your eye. He did not die in the normal sense of the word, because he did not know where he was. He was in a very high fever and dying all alone in a hospital room after failed brain surgery. When he left his body, he experienced extreme disorientation and for quite a while did not realize he was dead. This meant that a light, loose Gershwin-shaped energy field still moved about the world, and lit up whenever his music was played (which was almost all the time). After a very long time, though it was a mere moment in eternity, he began to realize who and how he actually was, that he was no longer in a body and would have to exist in a very different form. Being a soul sojourner from the beginning, this was not a threat but an adventure to him. But even in spite of this necessary metamorphosis, to a remarkable degree, he retained a George Gershwin shape. No matter what sort of problems he was having in his life, and he had many that we don't know anything about, there was a ferocious static-charged supernatural pumped boost of energy that somehow kept on connecting people with each other when he was around. But ironically, in spite of his sacred mission to join people joyously,in his life he had many struggles with intimacy, which led to a loneliness even as he was the most popular man in the room. During this strange leaving-his-body-and-not-being-sure-where-he-was period, he began to have extraordinary insight into not just his own condition, but the human condition. GG's emotional affect and his emotions seemed curiously light, but there was a galaxy of melancholy within that he did not show to too many people. The stars in that galaxy exploded out of his fingers and his brain and were made manifest as notes of music on the page. Though he lived at a hurtling pace few people could equal, little did he know that he was absorbing all of humanity's travails, gaining an understanding of suffering that would not be fully realized until he found himself in a different form outside his body. It would have been unbearably painful, had his life (as he knew it) not been over, a blessed cessation of all earthly pain. When a soul or entity gains this sort of awareness, mysterious alchemy takes place because the need here on earth for that level of understanding is so dire. Those pained and anguished places in that broken thing we call the human condition began to draw and attract this generous, gentle, deeply broken spirit. There was Gershwin dust in the room sifting down like stardust, particularly when there was music playing. And there was music playing a lot. Someone, not keeping up their guard, felt something strange or warm and not quite familiar in the room, yet also hauntingly familiar. Someone else thought they saw him for a second, or someone that looked like him. There was in some subconscious way a powerful sense that a healing was beginning to happen. As the entity begins to heal, so it heals itself. George's brain gave way, the most disturbing way to die, so that he was basically humbled by losing the genius brain he was celebrated for. Stripped of that, even of that, all that was left was his essence. How can I say how this happens? How can I be sure that George Gershwin is a time traveller and an entity who is basically free to move about within time and space wherever and whenever he wishes?

Mental health: how the medical community shames patients

Blogger's note: Teragram G, who is my "identical cousin" and mirror image in virtually every way, posted this message on her local lab review page. She had something to say about something important.

Something VERY upsetting happened to me the last time I handed in my bloodwork requisition. I have bipolar disorder and am on several medications to treat it. We had to discuss my lithium level, and I happened to mention that I would be gradually weaning off it. The technician looked up at me with a big beaming smile on her face and said, "Ohhh, GOOD!". 

I did not know how to interpret this. Did she mean, "oh, good, you don't have bipolar disorder any more"? Did she mean, "oh, good, you're doing so well now you don't need to take THOSE kinds of drugs"? Almost everyone with bipolar disorder NEEDS to take "those kinds of drugs", and in fact it is what keeps us well. If I said I was coming off heart medication, diabetic medication, or ANY other kind of medication, I very much doubt if it would have prompted a big, pleased, "way to go!" congratulatory smile, as if I had finally graduated, gotten it together and left all that "stuff" behind. 

Diabetics aren't praised for coming off insulin, in fact, it might even be seen as dangerous. But coming off a psych med seems to automatically mean I MUST be doing "better" - in other words, showing no overt signs of my illness. If I AM showing overt signs of my illness, by that logic, I'd get the opposite of praise, perhaps silent or even not-so-silent disapproval. 

By the way, I am only weaning off this very useful drug due to a kidney condition. I would prefer to stay on it for life, but I can't. It has been an upsetting and very difficult process to get off it, with many setbacks. But why this dismaying and insensitive response? Is it because lithium is an inherently stigmatized drug, in that absolutely everyone knows what it is for? 

It has taken me DECADES to accept the fact that I will always be on psychiatric meds, and I still struggle with the reality of it. I don't like to go to the pharmacy and have people comment on how many bottles I have to pay for, and how I could overcome all that stuff with Herbalife if I really tried. When my mental health is misunderstood and undermined by health care professionals who should be helping me (and should know better), it's very distressing, demoralizing, and adds to the stigma everyone claims should be abolished. 

This is why people with mental health issues feel so much shame and don't "reach out for help" as they are always told to do. No one should EVER be praised for going off lithium or going off ANY other kind of drug, particularly psychiatric drugs which people casually make cruel jokes about ("oh, she's off her meds"). Please speak to staff about this, as I walked away feeling like s***. It should never happen to anyone else.

"She was a one-date girl"

Perhaps she's ill . . . perhaps she's only "nervous"

"NERVES" Hasten the Coming of "CROWS FEET"

Nervous Women are the First to Lose their Youth and Charm

Leading beauty experts agree that overstrained "NERVES" do more to bring the lines of age to the face and ruin a woman's beauty and complexion than any other cause. When your "NERVES" get beyond control, your beauty vanishes - charm fades - and "crow's feet" and other age lines creep into your face. Headaches, Sleeplessness, Neuralgia, Dyspepsia and similar troubles are frequently caused by overstrained nerves. Any woman who is nervous, blue or irritable soon loses her attractiveness and begins to look old. Don't neglect your "NERVES" if you want to keep your youth and charm. Whenever you feel nervous - 

Quiet Your Nerves This Delightful Way

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Perhaps she’s ILL. . . Perhaps she’s only NERVOUS

After childbirth, many years ago, I was very nervous and could not sleep nights. My husband got me a bottle of Dr. Miles Nervine. I took one dose and went to sleep. When I woke up next morning, I felt much better. I continued to take nervine until I felt as well as ever.  Mrs. Bedfell

The night you dread re those nights when you are free from pain yet cannot sleep. You toss and tumble; minutes seem like hours; you brood over real or fancied mistakes; instead of a delightful drowsy feeling, each minute finds you more “keyed-up” and wakeful. Next day you are dull and restless. Your eyes burn and your head aches.

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HE USED TO THROW DISHES AT HIS NURSE

During four months in the hospital, I became so nervous and irritable that I often threw dishes at the Nurse.

He is not nearly so irritable since he started to use DR. MILES NERVINE. Outbursts of temper are, more often than not, caused by "NERVES". The nervous man or woman is a nuisance, not only to himself, but to all with whom he comes in contact.

Tense nerves cause - 

Sleeplessness, Nervous Irritability, Nervous Headache, Nervous Indigestion.

You can't do effective work when you are nervous. You can't enjoy yourself and you are no addition to a party.

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DR. MILES NERVINE