Many Years in Captivity (the story of Stacey)

This whole Dr. Christopher Johnson scam reminds me of a person I used to go to school with. We were “sort of friends” from Grade 5 into junior high. Stacey (born "Anastasia" – but that’s not her real name) held some kind of strange social power that meant you were privileged to be in her friendship orbit. And she did have a sort of superficial attractiveness, though she was no beauty. But she ACTED beautiful (Meghan Markle comes to mind) and seemed to draw people to her like a magnet. Boys fell over each other to date her.  Stacey always got what she wanted, always won every argument, always got the highest grades in everything, and won lots of awards, which she received as if she was being crowned Miss America.

(Just to clarify: people have asked me if the images I used here are of Stacey. No, they're of me as a child  and adolescent. I just happen to like them.)

Still, there was something about her that everyone knew. She was dishonest. She was known to cheat on exams, and teachers knew about it and looked the other way. She stole other girls’ boyfriends. She even stole items from people’s lockers, and if you found out, you were supposed to feel flattered that she wanted your stuff. It was an honor to see her walking down the hall wearing one of your sweaters.

 After Grade 10 we went to different high schools, and I didn’t see her any more. Then a few years ago, I was on a Facebook page about the history of Chatham, Ontario where I grew up. It amazed me to see all sorts of familiar names in the comments, people I had not seen in years and years, including

.  . . you  guessed it! It was Stacey.

Her Facebook page was very interesting. Most of the photos featured her in elaborate yoga poses and modeling glamorous eveningwear. BUT, there was a strange subtitle on her home page banner that I didn’t understand. It said, “Enjoying life after many years in captivity.”

I thought, hmmm, does she mean she had a bad marriage, or what? It was hard to believe she’d stay in a relationship where she didn’t get everything she wanted. But there was more. There she was in a photo posing with a very familiar-looking guy, someone I knew from way back in Grade 5, announcing that they were engaged to be married! She included a description of how they met in elementary school in a special class for gifted children with Mensa-level IQs. Well, not quite – I was in that class, and it was one of those educational experiments of the 1960s in which every student learned at their own pace and only studied subjects they were interested in. The class was total anarchy and nobody learned much of anything, but Stacey thrived in it and soon went to the head of the class.

By this time I wasn’t surprised to see the names of all  sorts of people I had gone to school with in the comments, all congratulating her on her engagement, praising her for how beautiful and youthful she looked, etc. Somehow she was still attracting heaps of attention and praise.

I found all this fascinating and followed her for a while, though I did not contact her, feeling wary. Well, strange things began to happen. More and more of her material was being deleted from Facebook. The fiancé disappeared. Soon there was very little left at all except a name and one photo. Then even THAT was gone, along with the “many years in captivity”.

But then an even stranger thing happened. She popped up on YouTube.

She only had 11 subscribers and 4 videos, but I knew it was her by the familiar locations (she was evidently still in Chatham) and the sound of her voice. Then something even more weird happened. I began to see duplicate channels in her name. I counted four of them altogether, and they were virtually identical, with barely any subscribers and only a few very similar videos.

But why would anyone do this? Why would anyone set up multiple YouTube accounts with hardly any content?

It only made sense to me when the Dr. Christopher Johnson scam came up, and I saw that he too had several identical accounts with single-digit content. He seemed to be using them as a base for his scams, closing one and opening another if he got into trouble or was reported. Then I remembered “Enjoying life after many years in captivity”, and suddenly realized that Stacey must have done serious time for something. It was literal captivity, I think. At some point the law caught up with her, though I can’t imagine what she had done.

It could be she’s still trying to be that same charismatic, slippery character she was back in high school, running scams from her multiple YouTube channels at the age of 70. I guess today we’d call her a narcissist, but back then there was no name for it. I do remember crying in Grade 5 and my mother asking me what was the matter, and I tearfully said, “Stacey doesn’t like me any more.” Your self-esteem rose and fell according to your status in her friendship orbit. There is too little content in her videos to determine what her life is like today. but I’m glad I didn’t try to contact her. God knows what I might have gotten tangled up in.

UPDATE! I actually did find pictures of Stacey in the Chatham Daily News archive, but decided not to post them. But it’s definitely her, and I believe she has had a lot of work done.

Dr. Christopher Johnson: Who ARE you, anyway??

This is getting SO good! I just keep hearing from this guy on YouTube ("Dr. Christopher Johnson") who is trying to romance-scam me. I thought I'd recap the entire conversation so far! I am not kidding, I am copying and pasting this verbatim.

FROM: @dr.christopherjohnson34
TO: @ferociousgumby

Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, love , and peace all over the world . I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Doctor Christopher Johnson from San Francisco, California, where are you from if I may ask?

@dr.christopherjohnson34 I'm from No Man's Land, Alaska. Wish you were here!

@ferociousgumby Hello dear, it’s my pleasure to meet you here, and am very happy How’s Alaska? I so much love Alaska because it’s such a beautiful state

@dr.christopherjohnson34 Actually, no, I lied. I live in Siberia. When you come to see me, bring your winter coat!

@ferociousgumby Hello dear
@ferociousgumby Are you still here
@ferociousgumby You just stopped talking to me
@ferociousgumby I would really love to know more about you but the nature of my job does not give me much time to come here to chat so I will appreciate it if we can chat somewhere more private and convenient so we can get to know each other better, hope you don't mind?

@dr.christopherjohnson34 I'll think about it, but I work on an oil rig and the thing exploded and they want me to pay for it. Could you please send me $400,000.00?

It was most gratifying to see this lady's video on this guy. Obviously, he has been around for a while and must have caught some fish. It isn't that hard to do.

For a while, until I got too disgusted to continue, I followed a channel called Catfished which dealt with romance scams. But the "victims", all ready to fork over hundreds of thousands of dollars, were not even the clueless old people you'd think. No, they were people who wanted to dwell in the land of Make Believe. Even after the team completely debunked the scammer and traced all the messaging to Nigeria, 

There is an actual Dr. Christopher Johnson (though the name is generic enough to apply to lots of people) - quite a famous one, a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who caters to the stars and goes on Entertainment tonight, etc. So the scammer might have fished up a name that is vaguely familiar to people. From the photo on his channel home page, he has stolen an image of a middle-aged white guy posing with a little boy (they ALWAYS have one child, usually a son).

In answering this guy, and I strung him along for quite a while, I used reverse tactics and said I worked on an oil rig, had an accident and the company was making me pay for it - SO, could he please send me thousands of dollars in gift cards? Finally, he stopped pestering me and went on to his next victim.

He has several "dummy" channels with nothing on them, but the pictures are similar, stolen from somewhere. Meantime when I look at the stories of the "victims", their naivete is jaw-dropping. 

Some think they are being romanced by Johnny Depp or even Elon Musk, who has been cut out of his divorce settlement and needs grocery money. They accept and fork over half a million. And so on. I think these exchanges are great fun, but also kind of sad that these leeches continue to thrive on the stupidity of others. As P.  T. Barnum put it: "There's one born every minute."  

💗The Troll Doll Channel: DANCING TROLL Comes Alive!💗

This troll dances and crawls, but makes so much noise that I replaced the soundtrack with music. You'll thank me for that!

How the Prince Stole Christmas

Meghan and Harry move slammed as ‘narcissistic, delusional’

Prince William and Kate Middleton are reported to be holding on firm on a Meghan and Harry move that would leave them in “total humiliation”.

Daniela Elser

Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer, and Vixen … get out the gin, get out the port, hell, get out that forgotten half full bottle of duty-free Bacardi stashed in the Louis XIV sideboard. Christmas is officially a month away and on the menu for the royal family this year, alongside a roast turkey the size of a VW Beetle and crackers stuffed with Apple shares, is a fresh serving of drama.

(The House of Windsor! They’re just like us! Dysfunction for all!)

This year when King Charles and Queen Camilla and the extended royal tribe gather at Sandringham for their annual festive knees-up, it will seemingly be with Prince William and Kate, the Prince and Princess of Wales heaving huge sighs of relief and clutching at their G & Ts.

This week came the diabolically wild news that after all the tears, the interviews, the claims of unconscious bias and family callousness – and the non-sharing of lip gloss – Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have seemingly decided they fancy an invitation to a royal Christmas.

“I can’t imagine the Sussexes would decline an invitation to spend time with His Majesty,” a friend of the Californian court told the Times’ royal editor Roya Nikkhah. “As of yet, there have not been any invitations for the holidays.”
Experienced anglers know what this looks like – a line being thrown out, a spot of angling to see if Charles might bite and suddenly throw open the Sandringham doors to the Sussexes.

Harry and Meghan putting out feelers about a December Norfolk invitation, something they have eschewed now for years on end? That’s a sentence I never thought I would have to type out. (It’s up there with ‘Princess Anne debuts suit bought this century’ and ‘Camilla to do Veganuary’ in the probability stakes.)

The very prospect is enough to have one reaching for the cooking sherry for a quick midmorning swig.

You have to give it to Harry and Meghan, they are optimists – or, as a friend of Prince William’s has put it, “narcissistic and delusional”.

Let’s hope that Harry has not been eagerly waiting by their Montecito post box because the news is not good. (Pity the beefy bodyguards standing watch as the duke keeps opening the flap to check he hasn’t missed the gilt-embossed envelope.)

Charles has nipped this Sussex Christmas entreaty in the bud, with His Majesty reportedly unwilling to spend the holiday season discussing his sacral chakra or the rigours of getting a decent table at Nobu. The reason: the royal family aren’t entirely sure, reportedly, that if the Sussexes were to be there that whatever they say or do won’t find its way into print or end up being relayed, wide-eyed, to a nodding Oprah down the track.

Even if the King had been possibly tempted to let bygones be bygones and to submit to Meghan’s healing sage ceremony in the most flame-retardant Sandringham drawing room, his other son and future five pound note portrait William would have been dead set against it.

The Daily Beast’s Tom Sykes has reported that the prince “would have been implacably opposed to joining any party for Christmas lunch which included Harry and Meghan.”

One friend of William’s told Sykes: “The whole idea of them coming for Christmas was typically narcissistic and delusional. There is no way William or Kate would want them there after what he wrote in his book. Would you want to sit down for a slap-up lunch with someone who had basically called you an asshole in public? It would be a total humiliation. William and Kate are never, ever going to sign up for that, and Charles wouldn’t ask them to.”

The Waleses’ reported refusal to come face-to-face with the Sussexes over priceless silver serving dishes of sprouts is entirely understandable. As we approach the one-year mark since the Sussex blitzkrieg of oversharing commenced in December 2022, the prince and princess have managed to make it through, though not without a few reputational dings.

The person who indisputably bore the brunt of the Sussexes’ opprobrium was William, a bloke who was painted as jealous, self-interested and a bit of a thug.

Nor did Kate escape unscathed, with the princess cast as having encouraged Harry to dressup as a Nazi and being squeamish about sharing her lip gloss with sister-in-law Meghan.

The Prince and Princess of Wales might be many things but masochists willing to endure the “total humiliation” of having to make nice with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex? N’est pas. I think we will sooner see Anne furiously peddling round Burning Man on a bicycle than this.

Hours after the news broke that the duke and duchess had failed to make the cut for Sandringham, there they were at an ice hockey game in Canada, drumming up support ahead of the 2025 Invictus Games in Vancouver and Whistler. The couple might not have seemed to have a care in the world as they clapped and cheered, but Charles has essentially just given his son the cut direct.

Blimey.

Adding insult to injury here is that while the Sussexes have been nixed, Camilla’s children and grandchildren are set to spend their very first Christmas right in the bosom of the royal family. Son Tom Parker Bowles and daughter Laura Lopes, and their five children, are about to, according to ITV’s Chris Ship, experience their first December 25th at Sandringham, alongside William and Kate and their small troop of tiny HRHs.

(Though the Waleses stay at their nearby Norfolk bolt hole Anmer Cottage, barely making do with 10 bedrooms and only one tennis court.)

The moral of the story here: Camilla has won. Her Majesty might have, according to Harry, “left bodies in the street” in her journey towards the throne but on Christmas Day this year, it will be the King and Queen’s blended families pulling crackers and gorging on figgy pudding.

If Harry is writing a letter to Santa this year, he might want to add some nice note paper, perfect for a reluctant semi-apology to his ‘Pa’, that is, if he wants to see a groaning Sandringham buffet anytime in his future.

Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.

A HORSE IS PLAYING THE PIANO WITH ITS NOSE

Because why not. This silly video is still getting comments and likes after about 5 years!

FEEDING FRENZY on the Lake (They're eating out of my hand!)

Yet another magical afternoon on Burnaby Lake. Paloma, the white dove who has chosen a pigeon as her mate, still hangs around, but she does look uncomfortable. There were several doves hanging around the dock, in fact, all banded, so they were likely domestic birds that escaped or (I hope not!) were released  In fact, I swear I saw BLACK doves as well as white, though I've never heard of such a thing. 

The thing is, people now do "dove releases" at weddings and other events, and though they're marginally better than the balloon releases that leave TONS of slimy latex choking the waterways every year, there must be at least a few doves who lose their way and never come back. Like this one. I do wonder how long she will survive in a wild setting, even with a male pigeon protecting her. 

We have seen white barnyard ducks at the Burnaby Lake dock - three, then two, then one, then none - as predators picked them off for an easy meal (domestic birds not being street-smart like their wild counterparts). And then there was Bosley the magpie duck, who survived for many years in Lake Lafarge before being killed by a predator, along with his mate Belinda. 

The decline and fall of a spare heir

 

JAN MOIR: If Harry shovels steaming manure onto the family fruit patch, he should expect a rich crop of raspberries in return

By Jan Moir for the Daily Mail

Published: 17:58 EST, 16 November 2023 | Updated: 08:17 EST, 17 November 2023

It still seems weird and somehow wrong that news about the British Royal Family is discussed first on U.S. outlets such as talk show host Kelly Ripa's podcast and on the pages and website of People magazine — next to stories about the Kardashians and actor Will Smith denying he slept with a man.

However, this is the world the Duke and Duchess of Sussex live in, this is the prism through which they are now viewed, this is where the absurd vanilla puffery of their softest-scoop ice cream is peddled in the hope that it will be swallowed whole.

Reactions may vary, as well as recollections. Some might even choke on the first mouthful.

Omid Scobie's new book Endgame is out at the end of this month and an extract has appeared in People magazine.

American readers might be surprised to learn that, according to this highly partisan account, the death of Queen Elizabeth II was not about the passing of a much-loved monarch and a sombre moment for British people and our shared history — it was all about Prince Harry.

Although Harry and Meghan have indicated they had nothing to do with the book, there is a great deal about who told him what and when about our 96-year-old Queen's final decline.

Also his travel arrangements to Balmoral, his disappointments about this and that, his sour surprise that not only was his welcome home far from warm, but that Meghan's presence at the Queen's deathbed was surplus to requirements, too. God knows what could have caused such family froideur!

Anyone with any ideas should write them on a silenced- not-silent postcard and send it to: The Toxic Racist Windsor Rotters, c/o Broken Dog Bowl Alley, London.

According to Endgame, Harry was especially peeved that his brother did not respond to his texts when he was trying to cadge a lift to Scotland on the RAF jet that flew Prince William, Prince Andrew and the Wessexes.

You have to laugh. What did Harry expect? If you shovel endless steaming manure onto the family fruit patch, surely you must expect a rich crop of raspberries in return?

Every action has a reaction and every piece of treachery is another brick in the royal ramparts.

The walls between the brothers are now so high that apparently William refuses to even 'properly talk' with Harry, while Harry is still moping about, seeking 'an apology or accountability'. From William to him, rather than the other way around. Cue even more sardonic laughter.

No doubt more Endgame extracts and leaks will be coming soon, but I am exhausted by it already.

Dear God, surely not more Sussexian victimhood? When are they ever going to wake up and smell the wellness- focused instant latte or count their many blessings?

Harry and Meghan now have two beautiful, healthy children, a gorgeous home in California, a chicken coop, free tickets to Beyonce and Katy Perry pop concerts and millions in the bank.

They have rich and powerful supporters on their side, including billionaire television producer Tyler Perry.

It was Perry who facilitated their initial entry into America, providing his lavish California estate as a sanctuary. Not many refugees fleeing tyranny are the beneficiaries of such largesse!

Perry was on Kelly Ripa's show this week, revealing how Meghan got in touch with him after he sent her a note of support.

They had not long been friends, but that didn't stop Perry becoming Princess Lilibet's godfather.

Meghan is not the first ambitious mother who selected a wealthy and well-connected patron to become a godfather to her children — but the shock is how little it took.

A few phone calls and the loan of a house? Honey, I pimped the kids.

What I am wondering is how much more of this can we all take? Harry and Meghan have found their freedom, they have made their great escape — can't they now just enjoy it all instead of endlessly picking at the royal scab and whining to their proxy, Omid Scobie? Or to their proxy's proxy?

Of course, as a one-dimensional author of limited scope, Scobie must stoke the fires of grievance and discontent between the exiled Sussexes and the core royals, otherwise he doesn't have a book, a narrative, a purpose, or indeed a pay cheque.

Even he must be alarmed that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are now denying that they are 'affiliated' with him in any way, although we have been here before. Denials that the Sussex camp had helped with his previous biography, Finding Freedom, turned out to be untrue.

Whatever, however, moreover — I think we can all agree that this endless drip of gripe and spite from a prince is the sign of a man who lost his way a long, long time ago.

The Troll Doll Channel: Best UnBoxing EVERRRRR!!

Such a hilarious time we had last night, unboxing a truly exotic dancing, crawling troll from Greece! She was even wrapped in Greek newspapers. The whole family got into the act.

 

AUTOTUNE CAT!

I can't remember if I posted this or not - so here it is again! This one jumped to over 2,000 views overnight, on a channel that's lucky to get 100. Don't  know why, because very similar cat videos hardly get any at all. Oh well, I guess  YouTube is just  as capricious as life itself.

The MR. PEANUT Talent Hour! (Bizarre '50s kiddie show)

Calling it talent is stretching a point. From a klutzy tap-dancer who can't quite stick the landings, to a woman puppeteer talking to her hand, to a terrifying man in a giant peanut suit, this is a lineup you won't forget, try as you might. And then there's the barbershop quartet.

And in case you start to forget who the sponsor of all this talent is, the lady with the thingie on her hand pulls jar after jar of Planter's products out of a basket, to the great enthusiasm of the thing on her hand (which looks a bit like a dog in a peanut suit) which keeps "talking" to her (whispering in her ear, of course, which lets her out of any attempt at ventriloquism). Then the peanut man shows us how to spread peanut butter on crackers.

Most of these kinds of shows disappeared into the ether, being live, or if taped were mercifully erased to make way for quiz shows. But I follow a YouTube channel called Free the Kinescopes!, which has a surprising array of "stuff" like this, almost unbelievably bad, but no doubt considered a wonder at the time. Early TV was either radio with pictures, or VERY bad vaudeville-type variety programming like this.

Stalking the Great Blue Heron

This was one of those magical moments of birdwatching that only comes about through patience and attentiveness. Birdwatching has saved my life in the past few years (along with troll-collecting, of course!), as it forced me to go out even during the bleakest point in the pandemic. It also requires that you be in the moment, and each time you go out, it's different. There can be mobs of birds, or virtually none. This heron was stately in his wading and fishing, and did not seem bothered by me on the shore as I followed him along. Finally he spread his vast wings and sailed away over Como Lake.