Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Why is "sight-shaming" still acceptable?

 


 

I am in a mood of mild but pervasive dread, and I'll tell you why. I have not had my eyes tested in so many years, I don't even remember. I have likely had vision problems since early childhood, though I didn't get glasses until I was eight. Since then it has been ever-stronger prescriptions, including the "progressives" I now wear for both distance and reading.

Well, it's time I got them checked again. My daughter has just undergone serious surgery on her eye, and will need it on the other eye, for a curvature that can only be corrected surgically. She will be off work for weeks, and right now can barely see at all, so can't even read or watch TV. My husband only found out he has cataracts from an eye test. I HAVE to do this, but this foot-dragging isn't just pandemic-related (though absolutely EVERYTHING is pandemic-related now, isn't it?)

This was a long time ago, but it left me feeling so lousy the memory stayed clear (so to speak). I had the standard eye test, then handed the optician my prescription. She ever-so-slightly pulled the paper back in her hand and said, "Whoahhh." This was very up-and-down-inflected. I gave her an inquiring look, and she said, "This is really strong." I should have turned on my heel and walked out, but it was one of those things where you can't quite believe what you heard. I even got my frames from those people. Today I would report anyone who said anything like that.
 
 
  
But it was sight-shaming, and I do wonder - well, who the HELL in the optical business would do a thing like that? Can I HELP having very poor eyesight and wanting to correct it? It's bad enough that I already LOATHE the endless "is this one clearer, or this? Is this one clearer, or is this? Is this one clearer. . ." until I want to scream, since they all look the same. The top letter on the eye chart is blurry, and I always get a chuckle from someone over this. I have gotten used to trying to treat it like a joke.

This may be seen as humorous, but without my glasses I am close to legally blind and cannot function. If I suddenly lost them, I'd be helpless. So this is a cause for exclamations of surprise? Especially said in that "wow!" tone. So I drag my feet and even feel some anxiety and feel bad and stupid for FEELING that anxiety, because, for God's sake, that was years ago and it is only a routine eye exam!! But that is just how things are now. Bad memories are on repeat, or perhaps a better term is speed-dial, and have been for ten or eleven months now. I can't imagine why.

BLOGGER'S NOTE. The two photos above are from that long-ago time when glasses frames were huge. Since I already had a very high-index prescription and glasses were actually made of glass, and extremely thick compared to the high-tech lenses of today, I fairly often heard remarks along the lines of, "I just can't believe how thick those are." I also had them compared to Coke bottle bottoms. It seems to me that, from Mr. Magoo to Helen Keller, people with visual disabilities are targets for mockery far more often than those with, say, hearing impairment. We don't see a man wearing a hearing aid and say, "Whoahh!" - or, at least, I hope not. We don't see someone in a wheelchair and say, " I cannot believe you're in that chair." It's just stupid.
 
Oh, and one more thing - probably more than one. At least back then, people would literally snatch the glasses right off my face, try them on and exclaim, "WOW! Are you ever blind!", or even, "How do you SEE through those things?" I guess it's a little bit harder to yank a hearing aid out of someone's ear.