More on the Myths of AA: did I leave just in time?

Getting deeper into the thorny haunted woods of the anti-AA literature which seems to abound these days, I found a thousands-of-words-long manifesto online ripping into just about every aspect of 12-step programs. For some reason this document is called The Orange Papers, though I don't think it has anything to do with the NDP.

Looking back, I was both helped and hurt by AA and, almost in tandem, by the Christian church, both of whom claimed acceptance and broadmindedness while practicing the exact opposite. My life revolved around both of those religious institutions, and while I felt constant underlying stress and tension about aspects of the program that I was not allowed to criticize, I kept on. And on. And on.

Recently, in one of my mini-binges of rearrangement (of my trolls and shelves and all that stuff), I discovered a bagful of AA medallions and chips. There were just so MANY of them! I decided to display them on my bookshelf with a Buddha, and the little basket of multicolored coins looks quite attractive. But it's hard to believe what I went through, and for how long, to get them. 

Now they're claiming I was indoctrinated, and that AA's success rate is only 5% - 10% on a good day. They're also saying I can probably drink safely if I put my mind to it. The fact I'm terrified to do so just means I drank the alcohol-free Kool-aid (or was it Flavor-aid?) and now can't get away from 15 years of brainwashing.

But what might it cost me if I decided to find out?

I found this list of what looks like live links, and wondered: if I posted them, would they link me to something else? More diatribes, perhaps? I have to admit I find the angry tirades fascinating, if a bit extreme. I have ordered a copy of The Sober Truth, in which an addictions specialist analyzes the death-grip 12-step groups have not just on individuals, but on the rehab industry and the courts system, which sentences violent criminals to attend meetings as part of their punishment. Many of them have found that a little sexual predation sweetens the penalty. 

When I posted Why I Quit AA on Salon.com back in about 2006, I was deluged with mean-spirited, nasty and even threatening comments, none of which even attempted to pay heed to what I was actually saying. Most of them were from men.  I had broken an entrenched taboo: I had dared to publicly criticize the Mob, and this was my punishment. I wanted to scream: don't you see you're PROVING the points I am trying to make, that AA is a closed system and you dare not speak out or deviate from the rules? The irony of the fact did not cross their minds because their minds were already closed to anything but pure AA doctrine.

I just realized that if I click on the links listed below, it takes me directly to that Orange Papers thing with its rantings and tirades, which makes for some entertaining if exhausting reading.  Proceed with caution!

The A.A. founder Bill Wilson declared that alcoholism is a "spiritual disease" that is caused by

1. sins,
2. moral shortcomings,
3. wrongs,
4. defects of character,
5. resentments,
6. instincts run wild,
7. character defects, representing instincts gone astray,
8. self,
9. self-will run riot,
10. desires that have far exceeded their intended purpose,
11. The Seven Deadly Sins
12. a willful and irresponsible ego,
13. failure to practice religious precepts properly,
14. failure to practice Step Five properly,
15. selfishness,
16. self-seeking,
17. self-centeredness,
18. more selfishness
19. defective relations,
20. nagging wives,
21. nagging wives again, "throwing her husband into a fit of anger"
22. serious character flaws,
23. faith that isn't accompanied by "self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action",
24. personal secrets that we have not confessed,
25. inherited genes or inherited sins,
26. conditions that we couldn't correct to our entire satisfaction, and
27. another unconfessed personal secret... 

ADDENDUM: This is another interesting chunk from the Orange Papers. Whoever wrote it REALLY doesn't like AA! But I must admit, one of the more popular of the thousands of AA slogans is, "Check your brain at the door." 

"Quit your stinkin' thinkin'."
"Don't drink, don't think, and go to meetings.
"You have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem."
"Your best thinking got you here."
"The three most dangerous words for an alcoholic — 'I've been thinking'"
"Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe neighborhood."
"Don't go in your head alone. It's a dangerous neighborhood."
"Just do things the tried and true way."
"Look for the similarities, not the differences."
"People who think they know it all are very irritating to those of us who do."
"You can act yourself into thinking right easier than you can think yourself into acting right."
"I know I'm in trouble when I start thinking I can run my own life."