OK then, I guess I break my own rules sometimes, regarding oversharing and droning on and on about health matters. (I won't say "issues"!). But sometimes I can't help myself. I even posted this on Facebook, knowing no one will even glance at it. Not sure why. But I do. . .
The only time I feel happily absorbed is when I am actually creating content for the channel, the blog, etc. Posting it seems like an exercise in futility a lot of the time. Is this behind the virtual collapse of my bodily health? Could it be, I finally had enough frustration, enough abandonment, enough being ignored even if it's my finest work?
Or am I just a little lonely?
I had my religion, such as it was, for decades, and AA, which was kind of the same thing in its clunky, primitive way. No thinking allowed. But I do think about drinking, haven't done it yet, but I do use THC oil as judiciously as I can to manage pain (NOT relieve it - that's too much to ask for). I also do it for the mental break, if I even get one.
Some part of me says: OK then, didn't you get the memo? No one cares about what you have to share, they never did, it always fell flat no matter how hard you tried. Or did I try too hard? Someone will cut in about now and claim I didn't try hard enough.
