The bizarre world of vintage ads

 

 

 
 

Obsolete diseases

Obsolete diseases

THEN                                     NOW

catarrh                                    runny nose

lumbago                                 lower back pain

dropsy                                    edema

ague                                        fever and chills - malaria

quinsy                                    tonsillitis

grippe or la grippe               flu

St. Vitus Dance                        Sydenham's Chorea                                            
dyspepsia                                  indigestion

bilious                                       nauseated

brain fever                                meningitis

consumption                            tuberculosis

piles                                           hemorrhoids

nerves                                       anxiety, panic

rheumatism                   arthritis

shell shock                     PTSD

battle fatigue                 PTSD

dementia praecox         schizophrenia

split personality           dissociative identity disorder

nervous breakdown      anxiety/depression

apoplexy                         stroke

 

                                        

senility                                               dementia

sick headache                                   migraine

chilblains                                           cold blisters

hydrophobia                                     rabies

lockjaw                                              tetanus

scrofula                                              psoriasis

Mommy was always so cross

Ambition Pills FOR WEAK AND NERVOUS MEN

For a long time we have hesitated to advertise Ambition Pills, fearing that this remedy might be classed with the many fraudulent preparations in the market. 

A single trial will convince any sufferer that we have A POSITIVE CURE for Impotency, Sleeplessness, Enlarged Veins and Nervous Debility, which includes troublesome dreams, evil forebodings, losses, despondency and aversion to society, caused by overwork or other excesses; 

Especially recommended in cases of long standing and where other remedies have failed. Only reputable druggists can secure agencies. For a short time only, the price will be $1.00 per box or six boxes (with guarantee) for $5.00 - Price will soon be doubled. 

Circular Free. Address: Halsid Drug Co., Cleveland, O.

Sold by H. W. Mordhurst, 74 Calhoun Street, Fort Wayne, Ind.

Vigorous Manhood!

Vigorous Manhood

Two “Health Belt Men”: One 50 Years Old, the Other 30. Can You Pick Out the Younger?

I can show you how to restore your youth and how to keep it. A “Health Belt Man” CANNOT grow old; he must be young forever. Years count for nothing. In this life, so long as you have great vitality, Weakness, Nervousness, Unmanliness are conditions to be laughed at by the intelligent user of my great appliance, for it gives, in abundance, all that vim, vigor and nerve force which the weakened system craves. 

Worn every night and all night for two or three months, it sends a great, warm glowing volume of electricity into your body through the nerve centres at small of back: from the first hour’s use you experience a decided benefit; there is a great mysterious force which gets right to work. No drugs to be taken; no conditions imposed except that dissipation must cease. Help Nature that much: the Belt will do the rest. 

It takes the weakness and kink out of your back; it drives rheumatic pains away from all parts of the body; you will feel and look young and strong again; women and men noticing your physical change will be more attracted toward you on account of your new vitality and life; in two months you can experience the full vigor of perfect manhood. Charles L. Snell of Middleport, N. Y., writes: “Your Health Belt cured me of Nervous Debility, Lost Vigor, Kidney and Bladder troubles after all else failed.” This is but one testimonial among thousands which you may see if you care to.

Let Me Send You My Book FREE

It fully describes my Health Belt, and contains much valuable information. One part is called “Health in Nature,” and deals with various ailments common to both men and women, such as rheumatism, kidney, liver, stomach, bladder disorders, etc. The other part, “Strength,” is a private treatise for men only. Sent upon application, free, sealed, by mail.

If in or near this city, take the time to drop in at my office, that you may see, examine and try the Belt. No charge for professional advice either at my office or by mail. If you cannot call, fill in the coupon and get the free book by return mail. It is better than a fortune for any one needing new vigor.

DR. ALFRED SANDEN CO.  

1151 Broadway  New York City

Mental health: ARE WE THERE YET?

The Troll Doll Channel: GORGEOUS Troll Makeovers!

Ah, YouTube! Such a glorious way to not re-LIVE, but re-DO my childhood, taking one element I loved and multiplying it like loaves and fishes. Since I can't keep a horse, this will have to do. But such fun I have. SO FAR, there has been no major blowback from the FTC/COPPA fiasco. NO one knows how to mark their videos now, and so far the only direct result has been YouTube labelling some vids for kids, even though they weren't meant that way. Strange are the ways of YT. But I"m keeping on keeping on, probably not buying as many this year due to our budget, but still wanting to play with them (I never played with dolls as a kid, and NEVER did anything with my trolls, none of which had outfits of any kind). It's fun, that's why, and YT is a way of sharing it with (I think!) other collectors. It's hard to see a six-year-old wanting to watch a video featuring 60-year-old troll dolls. No one says they CAN'T, but they weren't made for them. YT's algorithm is flagging some of them, but in their usual haphazard/scattershot way. It's all done by bot, and the bot has moods, I guess. It's a lot moodier and less consistent than any human being would be. 

Hedgehog Plays Piano. Jazz Style!

Many are the animals who run across, roll around on, lip, and paw the piano keys. Some almost sound like SOME kind of music, especially if an elaborate accompaniment is added. I hadn't seen the hedgehog one before. I'm not a big hedgie fan, as they always strike me as a cross between a porcupine and an armadillo. The way they roll up in a ball is a bit creepy. They're also bigger than I imagined: I thought they'd be hamster-sized, but instead look more the size of a guinea pig.

This is all for today, what with dealing with MORE health issues, and totally snowed in for now, a rarity in this part of the woods. I'm not sure what the affinity between animals and the piano keyboard is, but here it is. I think the hedgehog has the most natural musical flow, since the kitty is basically just pawing at keys randomly, and the others are just - silly. Playing all the black notes automatically sounds like jazz. Take that, jazz players! I'm going back to bed now.

Creepy old people: Victorian photography

Chameleon Circus!

 

 

BLOGGER'S OBSERVATONS: I remember the "chameleon". I had one as a kid, since they were wildly popular and readily available in any pet store for only a few dollars (and I loved lizards, snakes, frogs, toads, salamanders, newts, and whatever crawly things I could get my hands on). These weren't chameleons at all, of course, but tiny bright-green anole lizards.  My "chameleon" was sluggish at the best of times, and soon died. I saw no evidence of circus skills that could be exploited in a "real live animal act". 

The worst of it was that I had to keep a bag of LIVE meal worms in the refrigerator, where they went into semi-hibernation (which was supposed to keep them alive). They ended up scaring the hell out of my mother when she opened up the brown paper bag in the fridge, thinking it was the remnants of someone's lunch, and finding instead a writhing bag of worms.

Since the "chameleon" wasn't really a chameleon, it only had limited ability to change colour. Normally a bright neon green, it was supposed to turn brownish in low light. Frustrated that it wouldn't turn colour, and having been told it needed a dark place to change, I put it in my brother's clarinet case, with bad results. Due to the sudden shock of discovering a squirming lizard in his instrument case, my brother reacted violently and the chameleon went flying through the air, which was the closest it ever came to performing tricks. 

I saw a large anole, or some similar type of lizard, on my last trip to Hawaii, but like most lizards it mostly just sat there clinging to the bark of a tree, once in a while lunging at an insect. But in some videos, I was surprised to see anole lizards viciously fighting with each other. One wonders why such potentially-aggressive creatures were ever sold to children.

Maybe it was a circus romance? Unwilling or unable to walk tightropes or perform other such undignified tricks, maybe two rival males duked it out over a comely female anole, perhaps the type who did tricks on top of a galloping horse. In any case, it seems highly unlikely these lizards could or would perform high-wire tricks on command. In fact, they were most likely dead on arrival, like all those other "free" animals - capuchin monkeys, cute little "tea cup" chihuahuas ("Will you give me a home?"), etc., that you could get by selling salve door-to-door.

My anole was nice, for the three weeks or so it lasted, but it too went into a kind of dormant state, since my mother INSISTED I keep it in the (cold) basement. At least it didn't suffer the terrible fate of Bee Bee. The cat killed and ate my beloved budgie, which had been allowed to fly free in the house. One awful day, the budgie swooped down on the cat once too often. All we could find was a pile of turquoise feathers and one claw. He also mauled a hamster to death, but didn't bother eating it. 

Pets escape, and the results aren't pretty. But neither are battles to the death among tiny, misnamed lizards. I think you can still get anoles, but people are much more realistic about them now and keep them safely in terrariums - hopefully not housed with mortal enemies, so THIS won't happen.

How can you be "ill" and "well" at the same time? You can't

Something has happened in very recent times. Media are now referring to "mental health issues" rather than "mental illness". I used to wonder: how can you be "ill" and "well" at the same time? Basically, you can't. The labelling was problematic and very stigmatizing. Years ago, we spoke of "cancer victims", even if the person was still alive and recovering. That dire label was dumped at some point for words like "survivor" and "warrior". Language DOES affect the way we think, more than we consciously know. It is somewhat more palatable to say "I have mental health issues" rather than "I am mentally ill". It's supposed to mean the same thing, isn't it? If not, why not? But how miserable that second one is, locking a person into a category of lifelong illness with no possibility of parole.

Above all, the rush: Gershwin at the piano

Playwright S.N. Behrman summed up what it was like to be in Gershwin’s orbit: “I felt on the instant, when he sat down to play, the newness, the humor, above all the rush of the great heady surf of vitality. The room became freshly oxygenated; everybody felt it, everybody breathed it.” Another friend recalled, “You cannot imagine what a party was like when he was expected and he did not appear.” His death, needless to say, cast a pall over his soiree set. “When George died, a great many people felt not only sad but bored,” said Kay Swift, a composer and longtime romantic friend. “People thought that they could never sense that special joy again.”