Friday, January 10, 2020
Welcome back. . . George.
Gershwin is a time traveller - you can see him out of the corner of
your eye. He did not die in the normal sense of the word, because he did not
know where he was. He was in a very high fever and dying all alone in a
hospital room after failed brain surgery. When he left his body, he experienced
extreme disorientation and for quite a while did not realize he was dead. This
meant that a light, loose Gershwin-shaped energy field still moved about the
world, and lit up whenever his music was played (which was almost all the time).
After a very long time, though it was a mere moment in eternity, he began to
realize who and how he actually was, that he was no longer in a body and would
have to exist in a very different form. Being a soul sojourner from the
beginning, this was not a threat but an adventure to him. But even in spite of
this necessary metamorphosis, to a remarkable degree, he retained a George
Gershwin shape. No matter what sort of problems he was having in his life, and
he had many that we don't know anything about, there was a ferocious
static-charged supernatural pumped boost of energy that somehow kept on
connecting people with each other when he was around. But ironically, in spite
of his sacred mission to join people joyously,in his life he had many struggles
with intimacy, which led to a loneliness even as he was the most popular man in
the room. During this strange leaving-his-body-and-not-being-sure-where-he-was
period, he began to have extraordinary insight into not just his own condition,
but the human condition. GG's emotional affect and his emotions seemed
curiously light, but there was a galaxy of melancholy within that he did not
show to too many people. The stars in that galaxy exploded out of his fingers
and his brain and were made manifest as notes of music on the page. Though he
lived at a hurtling pace few people could equal, little did he know that he was
absorbing all of humanity's travails, gaining an understanding of suffering
that would not be fully realized until he found himself in a different form
outside his body. It would have been unbearably painful, had his life (as he
knew it) not been over, a blessed cessation of all earthly pain. When a soul or
entity gains this sort of awareness, mysterious alchemy takes place because the
need here on earth for that level of understanding is so dire. Those pained and
anguished places in that broken thing we call the human condition began to draw
and attract this generous, gentle, deeply broken spirit. There was Gershwin
dust in the room sifting down like stardust, particularly when there was music
playing. And there was music playing a lot. Someone, not keeping up their
guard, felt something strange or warm and not quite familiar in the room, yet
also hauntingly familiar. Someone else thought they saw him for a second, or
someone that looked like him. There was in some subconscious way a powerful
sense that a healing was beginning to happen. As the entity begins to heal, so
it heals itself. George's brain gave way, the most disturbing way to die, so
that he was basically humbled by losing the genius brain he was celebrated for.
Stripped of that, even of that, all that was left was his essence. How can I
say how this happens? How can I be sure that George Gershwin is a time
traveller and an entity who is basically free to move about within time and
space wherever and whenever he wishes?
Thursday, January 9, 2020
Mental health: how the medical community shames patients
Blogger's note: Teragram G, who is my "identical cousin" and mirror image in virtually every way, posted this message on her local lab review page. She had something to say about something important.
Something VERY upsetting happened to me the last time I handed in my bloodwork requisition. I have bipolar disorder and am on several medications to treat it. We had to discuss my lithium level, and I happened to mention that I would be gradually weaning off it. The technician looked up at me with a big beaming smile on her face and said, "Ohhh, GOOD!".
Something VERY upsetting happened to me the last time I handed in my bloodwork requisition. I have bipolar disorder and am on several medications to treat it. We had to discuss my lithium level, and I happened to mention that I would be gradually weaning off it. The technician looked up at me with a big beaming smile on her face and said, "Ohhh, GOOD!".
I did not know how to interpret this. Did she mean, "oh, good, you don't have bipolar disorder any more"? Did she mean, "oh, good, you're doing so well now you don't need to take THOSE kinds of drugs"? Almost everyone with bipolar disorder NEEDS to take "those kinds of drugs", and in fact it is what keeps us well. If I said I was coming off heart medication, diabetic medication, or ANY other kind of medication, I very much doubt if it would have prompted a big, pleased, "way to go!" congratulatory smile, as if I had finally graduated, gotten it together and left all that "stuff" behind.
Diabetics aren't praised for coming off insulin, in fact, it might even be seen as dangerous. But coming off a psych med seems to automatically mean I MUST be doing "better" - in other words, showing no overt signs of my illness. If I AM showing overt signs of my illness, by that logic, I'd get the opposite of praise, perhaps silent or even not-so-silent disapproval.
By the way, I am only weaning off this very useful drug due to a kidney condition. I would prefer to stay on it for life, but I can't. It has been an upsetting and very difficult process to get off it, with many setbacks. But why this dismaying and insensitive response? Is it because lithium is an inherently stigmatized drug, in that absolutely everyone knows what it is for?
It has taken me DECADES to accept the fact that I will always be on psychiatric meds, and I still struggle with the reality of it. I don't like to go to the pharmacy and have people comment on how many bottles I have to pay for, and how I could overcome all that stuff with Herbalife if I really tried. When my mental health is misunderstood and undermined by health care professionals who should be helping me (and should know better), it's very distressing, demoralizing, and adds to the stigma everyone claims should be abolished.
This is why people with mental health issues feel so much shame and don't "reach out for help" as they are always told to do. No one should EVER be praised for going off lithium or going off ANY other kind of drug, particularly psychiatric drugs which people casually make cruel jokes about ("oh, she's off her meds"). Please speak to staff about this, as I walked away feeling like s***. It should never happen to anyone else.
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Perhaps she's ill . . . perhaps she's only "nervous"
Nervous Women are the First to Lose their Youth and Charm
Leading beauty experts agree that overstrained "NERVES" do more to bring the lines of age to the face and ruin a woman's beauty and complexion than any other cause. When your "NERVES" get beyond control, your beauty vanishes - charm fades - and "crow's feet" and other age lines creep into your face. Headaches, Sleeplessness, Neuralgia, Dyspepsia and similar troubles are frequently caused by overstrained nerves. Any woman who is nervous, blue or irritable soon loses her attractiveness and begins to look old. Don't neglect your "NERVES" if you want to keep your youth and charm. Whenever you feel nervous -
Quiet Your Nerves This Delightful Way
Just drop a Dr. Miles Effervescent NERVINE tablet into a glass of water and as it bubbles up like sparkling spring water - drink it. See how promptly it soothes and calms you. You'll like the pleasant, refreshing, relief, this delightful drink gives. Get a large package of Dr. Miles' Effervescent NERVINE Tablets at any drug store for $1.00. If they do not give you satisfactory relief, go to the druggist and get your dollar back.
Perhaps she’s ILL . . . Perhaps she’s only NERVOUS
After childbirth, many years ago, I was very nervous and could not sleep nights. My husband got me a bottle of Dr. Miles Nervine. I took one dose and went to sleep. When I woke up next morning, I felt much better. I continued to take nervine until I felt as well as ever. Mrs. Bedfell
After childbirth, many years ago, I was very nervous and could not sleep nights. My husband got me a bottle of Dr. Miles Nervine. I took one dose and went to sleep. When I woke up next morning, I felt much better. I continued to take nervine until I felt as well as ever. Mrs. Bedfell
The night you dread re those nights when you are free from pain yet cannot sleep. You toss and tumble; minutes seem like hours; you brood over real or fancied mistakes; instead of a delightful drowsy feeling, each minute finds you more “keyed-up” and wakeful. Next day you are dull and restless. Your eyes burn and your head aches.
Try Dr. Miles Nervine when you are Restless or Cranky, when you can’t Sleep, or have Nervous Indigestion or Nervous Headache.
Get Dr. Miles Nervine at any drug store.
Small package – 25 cents
Large package - $1.00
Dr. Miles Nervine
Liquid or Effervescent Tablets
HE USED TO THROW DISHES AT HIS NURSE
During four months in the hospital, I became so nervous and irritable that I often threw dishes at the Nurse.
He is not nearly so irritable since he started to use DR. MILES NERVINE. Outbursts of temper are, more often than not, caused by "NERVES". The nervous man or woman is a nuisance, not only to himself, but to all with whom he comes in contact.
Tense nerves cause -
Sleeplessness, Nervous Irritability, Nervous Headache, Nervous Indigestion.
You can't do effective work when you are nervous. You can't enjoy yourself and you are no addition to a party.
DR. MILES NERVINE (Liquid or Effervescent Tablets) is not habit-forming and does not depress the heart.
Why don't you try it? Your money will be refunded if you are not entirely satisfied with the results.
DR. MILES NERVINE
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Friday, January 3, 2020
Jazz Cat (for Bill Prouten)
JAZZ CAT
a true jazz cat can live in the moment
able to duly see
the sweet mauve haze of an unadorned blessing
the fruit of an angel tree
and when he plays he plays like a tiger
a jungle cat slinking wild
and when he plays he moves like a cobra
and laughs like a wayward child
there is no now just a moving abstraction
there is no then or when
there is an is, unfolding in rhythm
in which we are born again
it’s true that some hearts chime to the music
it’s true that some cats know
and play the pulse of divine recreation
(as above. . . so below)
The Invention of the Saxophone
i don’t know who invented this
reflexive question mark of an instrument
but i think it was a good thing
for it’s great to look at,
with fat keys like frog eyes
and a big bell like royal jelly
you could keep flowers in there if you wanted to,
extra socks
or even a clock
Snakes kink too
and this sound is snakey
purply mauve as the deepest bruise
and raunchy
as a man in love
smoked as some cat of the night
disappearing over a fence
it makes leaps
(but only because it has to)
There is no
morning saxophone
this is a sound that
pulls the shades down
a hangover
howl
fading to twilight
or the blackmost
belly button
of the night
Few can wrap their lips around
this gooseneck
without some harm coming to them
for this is an instrument
with a long history of
hollowing out
all but the most hardy
Bird flew into a pane
of glass and was
smashed
we don’t know why it does this to people
(maybe it was mad at him
for taking it all to such extremes)
but how could you blow this thing
halfway
i ask you
how could you rear back
in some great pained whiplash of the spine
without a sense of
terrible commitment
i never much cared for
saxophones myself
until i heard one blown correctly at last
jazz is a genre i will never understand
but perhaps that’s good
for like the priesthood, one must enter into it
without question
reservation
or doubt
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Happy 2020!
It's going to take some time before I stop putting a dash between those 20s (20-20)! In any case, Harold can't see 20-20 without his famous glasses. But it's nice for him that we're once more living in the "20s". It's been a long time, eh, Harold? About 100 years.
Blippo the Builder: ripoff of a blip-off
Some of the old toys I hadn't heard of however, including one construction set called Blippo the Builder. Looked like a cross between Dinky toys and the old Meccano set my brothers owned.
YES!
Whoever designed Super Mario Brothers, whether consciously or unconsciously, ripped off the likeness of Blippo. It simply couldn't be anyone else. Same hat, same overalls, same moustache, same EVERYTHING.
This will haunt my dreams.
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