OK then - is it right to repeat stuff? I find myself going back to some old obsessions, and really enjoying it. But am I posting anything original?
I am REALLY trying to dump Facebook. I don't know what it ever did for me, and no one ever - ever - EVER read my blog posts or watched any of the videos I toiled over. No one cared. The one time I got a huge response was when I wrote a stupid little piece about wearing pants to the mall that looked a little like pajama bottoms, and two old ladies twittering over it. I could not believe the OUTPOURING of emotional support! It went on and on, people I haven't heard from in years. As if they thought I was devastated beyond repair. HOW STUPID can you get??
I am REALLY trying to dump Facebook. I don't know what it ever did for me, and no one ever - ever - EVER read my blog posts or watched any of the videos I toiled over. No one cared. The one time I got a huge response was when I wrote a stupid little piece about wearing pants to the mall that looked a little like pajama bottoms, and two old ladies twittering over it. I could not believe the OUTPOURING of emotional support! It went on and on, people I haven't heard from in years. As if they thought I was devastated beyond repair. HOW STUPID can you get??
So it's back to the things I love. I'm still struggling with health issues, and now I know I will be for the rest of my life. But everything checked out: no cancer in my colon; no cancer in my lungs; no cancer in my kidneys; and finally, after a particularly nasty needle biopsy, no cancer in my thyroid. I can coast for a while, except for the endless bloodwork needed to "monitor" things.
I thought I'd be feelng a lot lighter now, but I'm not. I'm purposely pushing away the dreadful thoughts I had for months, a year actually, as it's just about exactly a year since all this hell began.
So next year? There's nothing magical about a year - it's just a way of reckoning things, keeping time, like in music. Both Bill and I have struggled, and still do. The specialists, tests, scans (ultrasounds and interminable CT scans) are wearying, in that we have to drive all over the lower mainland. Perhaps that's why I am feeling so drained?
But I really enjoyed putting this slide show together, and it was totally absorbing. I got the images from a now-defunct site called LISA - Long Island Staylace Association. The ads really are gorgeous, time capsules, a celebration and of course an exaggeration of the female form.
But I really enjoyed putting this slide show together, and it was totally absorbing. I got the images from a now-defunct site called LISA - Long Island Staylace Association. The ads really are gorgeous, time capsules, a celebration and of course an exaggeration of the female form.
Is this my girl-crush side coming out again? Who knows. But who cares. So long as I can be absorbed in my creative work, which I have all my life in spite of all obstacles, I want to tell myself it will all work out right.
