Ducks on a Glassy Lake

A glorious spring day on Lake Lafarge.

MEGHAN at the GALA! (Creepy Old Men)

 

Meghan and Harry at the Ms. Foundation Awards. It`s bizarre enough that MM gets an award for feminism, but here we see a couple of old white guys in suits with their hands all over her body. To touch a woman's body like that, particularly on bare skin, is just a bit - what? Out of line? They seem to be shepherding or herding her along, or else they just want to sneak a feel. The bottom hand is perilously close to a bum-feel. But MM seems relaxed, as if she is used to this kind of attention. Perhaps she has met these elderly gents before, in some other setting? Note that they are both wearing wedding rings.

"Fatuous, irrelevant, and no sense of purpose": it must be MEGHAN MARKLE!

Fatuous, irrelevant and no sense of purpose - what a fitting backdrop Manhattan's 'Women of Vision' made for the vapid La Markle herself! Fellow guest MAUREEN CALLAHAN's sparkling account of Meghan's word-salad gala appearance

By Maureen Callahan For DailyMail.Com

She so badly wants to be the Queen of Hearts.

But, as she arrived on Tuesday night, making her grand entrance in Midtown Manhattan, sauntering past that rental-car backdrop, it was more like the Queen of Hertz.

Of course, as the world is now all too aware, Meghan Markle capped off winning a meaningless award with what we’re told was a ‘near catastrophic’, ‘two-hour’ car chase through the streets of Manhattan.

Yes, according to a spokesperson, Meghan, along with hapless Harry and mom Doria, were the subjects of a wild, impassioned hunt by the paparazzi.

Some sympathetic commentators have already made the gruesome comparisons to Princess Diana’s tragic final fate.

But to echo the statements made by New York City’s own mayor Eric Adams and the police department: Perhaps it didn’t quite happen the way it was painted.

Recollections may vary.

Of course, as the world is now all too aware, she capped off winning a meaningless award with what we’re told was a ‘near catastrophic’, ‘two-hour’ car chase through the streets of Manhattan.

Naturally, their mouthpiece Omid Scobie is whining that no one from the Palace has yet reached out.

Wonder why?

One also wonders what Gloria Steinem, the 89-year-old feminist icon who chose to honor Meghan as a ‘Woman of Vision’ at Tuesday night’s Ms. Foundation Gala, must be thinking now.

After all, the car ‘chase’ debacle soon stole all the thunder from her event, which I was lucky enough to witness first-hand.

Now, it was hardly the red carpet one might expect. Hardly the pomp and circumstance of, say, a coronation.

Yet Meghan forged ahead as she always does, as if this were her crowning moment, sheathed in gold as if to symbolize a crown.

Or an Oscar statuette.

Same difference, really, if your only goal is fame. That’s our Meghan, none too subtle as ever, literally going for the gold as Harry and Doria took their positions three steps behind.

Harry may be a prince of the blood, but never forget — Meghan is The Star. Her Norma Desmond-ing is among the great spectacles of our modern age.

And this image, our renegade duchess without a palace-worthy advance team to prevent such cheap optics as the Hertz hiccup, set the tone for the evening: Fatuous, irrelevant, high on its own self-regard, all sense of purpose lost.

Gloria Steinem, once the face of women’s rights, reduced to star-f***ery.

It was a bizarre night.

Upon entering the Zeigfeld Ballroom, guests were asked whether they were ‘VIP’ — seems even feminist movements have their echelons — and turfed to the lobby.

My $1,500 entry-level ticket got me a hard seat with a front-row view of coat check.

After ten minutes, circumstances having changed inexplicably, the riff-raff were allowed up to the second floor.

Here were two open bars serving top-shelf liquor and the shock of post-pandemic dress code slovenliness. One unkempt guest was wearing sparkly Birkenstock sandals and a black stretchy minidress under a pink puffer jacket.

These were the VIPs?

The only recognizable person I saw was Peloton instructor Ally Love, and that’s saying something. Where were the stars? Where were the notables of the movement? The Malalas? The Fondas? The Beyoncés?

Perhaps no one was meant to outshine Meghan. Only one feminist icon was going to enter via rental car office!

Down in the ballroom, the plated salads on our banquet tables were ready waiting for us – dry, unsightly, stringy greens that resembled nothing so much as regurgitated hairballs.

Notably, not one person I spoke to nor one speaker or honoree mentioned Meghan.

Not one said how exciting it was to have her there. Not one expressed the slightest curiosity at what she’d have to say.

If anything, as the night dragged on and the event slipped an hour behind schedule – a sudden break announced so we could finally have dinner – the crowd bristled.

It says something when a table of size-6 women tear into their heavily glazed steak and buttery mashed potatoes with abandon.

Yes, the night was pure Meghan Markle: A manufactured build-up of anticipation, a highly dramatic entrance afforded no other actual activist — Meghan climbed on stage to the Alicia Keys she-ro anthem ‘Girl on Fire’ — and then... a whole lot of nothing.

Verbiage and word salad that were content-free, except when speaking on her favorite subject: herself.

Here, in real time, we observed Meghan’s inability to read a room. She thanked the ‘other honorees’ without naming them.

‘Congratulations,’ she said, ‘and frankly, well deserved.’

It was all so smug and supercilious, this glorified podcaster telling these boots-on-the-ground activists — no matter what one thinks of their politics — that they had, in fact, earned their place on the same stage as the great Meghan Markle.

The night was pure Meghan Markle: A manufactured build-up of anticipation, a highly dramatic entrance afforded no other actual activist — Meghan climbed on stage to the Alicia Keys she-ro anthem ‘Girl on Fire’ — and then... a whole lot of nothing.

Notably, not one person I spoke to nor one speaker or honoree mentioned Meghan. Not one said how exciting it was to have her there. Not one expressed the slightest curiosity at what she’d have to say.

That ‘frankly’ was so typical. It was meant to redound to Meghan’s benefit, as the lone wolf daring to speak the unspeakable.

There was the cringe-inducing humblebrag, calling her new friend Gloria ‘Glo’.

It brought to mind the forced intimacy of meeting Kate Middleton barefoot and insisting that the pair share lip gloss.

It's 'Glo' to Meghan, but Meghan is 'Duchess' to us.

‘We all bear witness,’ Meghan continued of her fellow honorees, ‘to you standing in elegance and the power of your strength.’

Huh?

This crowd was not convinced. This crowd was checking their watches. There were trains to catch, children to kiss goodnight. Alas, we were stuck with the vapidity of La Markle.

Her speech didn’t even deliver fresh content! She repeated the story, as told on her podcast, of poor little Meghan coming home from school to her TV dinner, cat collars and copies of Ms. Magazine strewn about courtesy of her mother — even though it’s well-documented that her father primarily raised her.

‘Having these pages in our home,’ she went on, ‘. . . signaled to me that there was so much more than the dolled-up covers and those images that you would see on the grocery store covers. It signaled to me that substance mattered.’

Says the former D-list actress and former briefcase game-show girl who used her looks to get ahead. Who has posed for those very same magazine covers.

This crowd was not convinced. This crowd was checking their watches. There were trains to catch, children to kiss goodnight. Alas, we were stuck with the vapidity of La Markle.

This warmed-over speech, less heated than our steaks, was Meghan’s greatest hits:

‘Change is just one action away.’

‘You can be the visionary of your own life.’

‘Daily acts of service, in kindness, in advocacy, in grace and in fairness.’

‘The imprints that were forged in my mind — I can now connect the dots in a much better way to understand how I became a young feminist and evolved into a grown activist.’

A feminist who, let us not forget, has publicly demonized her famous sister-in-law — ‘Waity Katie’ to Oprah and an audience of millions.

Kate made me cry! WAAAGH!

In truth, Meghan's a self-identified 'grown activist' who has done nothing. The pontification, her sing-song-y cadence as she luxuriated in her own praise, was as insufferable as it was revealing.

‘Ms.’ she said, ‘was formative in [my] cocooning. It piqued my curiosity, and it became the chrysalis for the woman that I would become and that I am today.’

Right: The woman who vilified the institution headed-up by Queen Elizabeth II in her final years. The woman who heavily alleged institutional racism until her husband finally backed away from that terrible smear.

A woman with no substance and no accomplishments as a feminist. A woman who is still trying to one-up the royals, even from a car-park adjacent ballroom with no red carpet.

Meghan is the personification of Ms. as an organization that has lost its way.

Indeed, most of the night was spent advocating not for women but for trans rights and Critical Race Theory.

‘Abortion is racist,’ we were told.

Beware the ‘the white supremacist patriarchal system.’

Yes, even the Ms. Foundation – established for biological women out of a deep, and enduring, necessity – has been subsumed by men who identify as women.

How fitting then that the night was overshadowed by a grasping phony whose empty platitudes on stage failed to make headlines, whose spokesperson told a wild story of a high-stakes car chase.

Pity Meghan, but recognize her strength. Admire her, but never laugh at her. And never, ever question her veracity.

Worldwide Privacy Tour Part 2, it seems, is well underway.

Creepy 1961 Computer Sings DAISY (HAL'S song from 2001)!

This is completely ridiculous, which is why I needed to share it with you today, dear readers. This video is responsible for my YouTube channel blowing sky-high after nine or ten years of very slim views. Views aren't why I do it, of course, but it amuses me to see a single, rather lame and thrown-together video garner nearly TEN MILLION views. 

It must be stuck in the algorithm or whatever, though I haven't the foggiest what an algorithm even is. It's just a thing that does stuff. I get a lot of angry comments on this, angry because the rubber robot and the soundtrack are from TWO DIFFERENT SOURCES, meaning it's "fake". Fake?? The whole idea was to put together sound and picture from two different videos to see what it would look and sound like. But every day I get at least one "hey guys, this is completely fake, it's clickbait, it's not real, it's - " etc. etc.

So I guess everyone expects the Motormouth robot to be in perfect sync with the sound (made by an IBM computer in 1961 - the first singing robot, and the inspiration for HAL's swan song in the movie 2001). A lot of people are assuming the robot was MADE in 2001, or that I am violating the sacred laws of science or something, but the upshot of it is I am now at over 15,500 subscribers after languishing at a few hundred for years and years. 

My views are way up, and a few other videos have almost randomly received huge views, but none in the millions like this one. Meantime, the videos I spend a lot of time on are virtually ignored. For fun, I've made a whole series of Motormouth videos with different soundtracks, but for some reason this is the only one getting angry comments about being ripped off by clickbait. "Hey guys, don't you know this is totally fake?" 

But today I received the Comment de la Comment, the ultimate in stream-of-consciousness which I am still trying to comprehend. But it's beautiful in its incomprehensibility, if somewhat repetitive - perhaps reflecting how time folds in on itself (see Albert Einstein). It is LITERATURE, and I will never see its like again - which is probably a good thing.

JustPinky

1 hour ago

I'm currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanelv excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film. but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece, I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the bacon go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. it absolutely moved my soul, and 1 don't think I can ever be the same. this bacon has changed my entire mental state, I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. i have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on gotta move on, as the song says. the bacon is so inspirational, it shares it vast wisdom with all of us, and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. we are all children on bacon. hail bacon. hail bacon. The spinning bacon, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the bacon spins, showing its lightly salt covered tan skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the bacon scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating bacon. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any piece of bacon I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a piece of bacon I have ever seen especially on 57:42.1 am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was at 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art l've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece, I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the bacon go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. Tt absolutely moved my soul, and i don't think I can ever be the same. this bacon has changed my entire mental state, I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. i have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on, gotta move on, as the song says. the bacon is so inspirational, it shares it vast wisdom with all of us, and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. we are all children on bacon. hail bacon. hail bacon. The spinning bacon, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a piece of bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the bacon spins, showing its lightly salt covered tan skin. I can hear the crunch just from here.

The Troll Doll Channel: A CLOCKWORK TROLL (or five!)

A demonstration of my FIVE new wind-up trolls! I couldn't get them all going at once, but I got close. My second childhood is so much more enjoyable than my first.

Prince Harry: Burning bridges, pulling faces

MAUREEN CALLAHAN: Meghan - and America - could have been at the heart of this joyous spectacle. But the Duchess of Narcissism burned her bridges… and you could hear the glassware crashing in Montecito

What a lost opportunity for the United States.

Had Harry and Meghan the grace to accept largesse and privilege, they would have played a key role at the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla.

Surely they would have been front-row.

Surely they would have had a place on the balcony.

And surely U.S. would have been represented in Great Britain as never before — as part of the monarchy! Never underestimate how awed we Americans are by British pomp and circumstance, the history that dwarfs our own, the displays of military might and national pride.

The coronation matters to us, too.

Saturday’s ceremony also offered a reassuring display of familial unity, doubtless forged in the crucible of Harry and Meghan’s repeated betrayals.

Surely they would have been front-row. Surely they would have had a place on the balcony. And surely they would have played a unique, central role in this most special of occasions. 

To watch Charles’s coronation was to be reminded of his kindness towards Meghan at her wedding, of him walking her halfway up the aisle, literally guiding her through her first major royal ceremony. There was a callback to that today, Harry and Meghan’s wedding gospel choir singing ‘Alleluia (O Sing Praises)’ in Westminster Abbey.

It seemed a graceful olive branch, though one likely to be swatted away.

That tends to happen when one's default setting is grievance. Doubtless we’ll be hearing from Montecito soon about cultural appropriation or some such nonsense.

If only Harry and Meghan had the maturity to see what had been right in front of them.

The regret today on Harry’s face, the sheer discomfort as he was made to walk into Westminster Abbey alone, taking a seat in the third row — same as the disgraced Prince Andrew — was all too palpable.

And well and truly deserved.

Pursing his lips, taking an inordinate interest in reading the program, watching Camilla — who we know Harry despises — take her place in history was all too satisfying.

Clearly, he never learned a simple truism: You get what you give.

When he wasn’t obscured by Princess Anne’s red-feathered hat — shades of Meghan blocked by the candlestick at Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral, cheers to the Palace Brain Trust! — Harry looked towards William, Kate and their three children (the backs of their heads, anyway) with what seemed like a mixture of longing and regret.

Oh, for him to be with them on the front row.

The regret today on Harry’s face, the sheer discomfort as he was made to walk into Westminster Abbey alone, taking a seat in the third row — same as the disgraced Prince Andrew — was all too palpable.

When he wasn’t obscured by Princess Anne’s red-feathered hat, Harry looked towards William, Kate and their three children (the backs of their heads, anyway) with what seemed like a mixture of longing and regret.

To be the rascally uncle to his youngest rascally nephew. To be in full military regalia rather than a plain black suit — Dior, but still — shoulder-to-shoulder with his brother, the future king, cheered on by nations of millions.

Alas, it’s all commercial flights and commoners now.

All that lost status. All that supercilious lecturing about ‘unconscious bias’ and institutional racism, and to what end? What greater good?

And here was King Charles, taking the unprecedented step of including leaders from multiple faiths: Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Sihk.

Here is a new King whose ceremony stressed humility, kindness, service and compassion.

One can hear the glassware crashing in Montecito.

Compassion has always been Meghan's line, hasn’t it? Kindness. Service. Recall, if you will, her clapback to the Queen, insulting the monarch's lifetime of duty with that petty public statement: 'Service is universal.'

Meghan Markle always has to have the last word. Until today.

The Royal Family sent her a devastating message without saying a thing.

No amount of money from Netflix or Spotify, no amount of party invites from Ellen DeGeneres or dubious humanitarian award ceremonies could ever compare to the power Harry and Meghan would have had as working royals.

All that lost status. All that supercilious lecturing about ‘unconscious bias’ and institutional racism, and to what end? What greater good?

No amount of money from Netflix or Spotify, no amount of party invites from Ellen DeGeneres or dubious humanitarian award ceremonies could ever compare to the power Harry and Meghan would have had as working royals.

Meghan’s biracial heritage and Harry’s ability to connect would not only have further modernized the monarchy but underscored the special relationship between the United States and Great Britain.

And they burned it all down. Is it any coincidence that Jill Biden, First Lady of the United States, was seated so far back at the coronation? That Joe Biden, who has expressed public support for the Sussexes, opted not to attend? To snub the new king?

Harry and Meghan, burning the bridges they purport to build.

So much for taking down the monarchy. They barely even sideswiped it.

Spontaneous applause erupted outside Buckingham Palace the moment Charles was crowned King.

As for the notion that Meghan didn’t want to be there — please. We all read the reports of the back-and-forth between Buckingham Palace and Montecito, the demands the couple were making in exchange for their presence. Who really believes that Meghan Markle choose to miss such a historically significant event for a fourth birthday party?

Think of the ways to monetize this most supreme of royal occassions! Content is king, and it looks like we have a second podcast season to fill.

But it seems that someone didn’t get what she wanted. And, quite likely, Meghan wanted to avoid a repeat of last time — a greeting of hearty boos.

Meanwhile Catherine, Princess of Wales, looked impeccably regal in her McQueen gown, dazzling headpiece and the late Princess Diana’s earrings – daughter Charlotte adorable in a miniaturized version of the same look.

The actress in Meghan must have been dying. The costuming, the pageantry — the fealty on display!

Meanwhile Catherine, Princess of Wales, looked impeccably regal in her McQueen gown, dazzling headpiece and the late Princess Diana’s earrings – daughter Charlotte adorable in a miniaturized version of the same look.

The actress in Meghan must have been dying. The costuming, the pageantry — the fealty on display! (Pictured: The Prince and Princess of Wales with Charlotte and Louise at the coronation).

The sheer stagecraft and statecraft. The anointing of Kate as Diana’s successor. Frostbitten todgers, Elizabeth Arden cream and sex next to a box of Diana’s hair be damned!

Hope spilling to Oprah was worth it.

To see the thousands of Britons lining the streets in the rain, camped out for days, cheering on their new King and Queen as four thousand troops marched through the streets was to wonder: Do Harry and Meghan get it now?

Sorry — that’s a rhetorical question. They’re likely too narcissistic to ever get it. The rest of us do, though.

How grievously they miscalculated. How silly Harry was to think he could insult his closest family members in his Netflix series and sundry interviews and his book — and then think they'd welcome him back.

This is the father he fantasized about bombing with a jet. There were so many jaw-dropping revelations in Harry's memoir that it's hard to remember them all, but this one has stuck with me: In a bizarre passage praising his father's work ethic — 'his own work was also a kind of religion' — and detailing his pride in sharing a love of piloting with Charles, he writes, in the same breath, of wanting to blow him up.

It reads: 'He drove off. As he went down the track I told the Typhoon [aircraft]: New target. Gray Audi. Headed southeast from my position down track...

'The Typhoon tracked Pa, did a low pass straight over him, almost shattering the windows of his Audi.

'But ultimately spared him. On my orders.'

A joke, clearly. But revealing, possibly.

Is it any coincidence that Jill Biden, First Lady of the United States, was seated so far back at the coronation? That Joe Biden, who has expressed public support for the Sussexes, opted not to attend? To snub the new king?

Harry was left to stand outside in the rain while nearly every other senior member of his family took pride of place on the balcony, and he got in his little black car and headed straight to Heathrow, where he was seen smiling for the cameras.

It’s amazing Charles included Harry or even wanted him there at all.

At ceremony’s end, Harry was left to stand outside in the rain while nearly every other senior member of his family climbed into a horse-drawn carriage, led through the streets to their cheering subjects, taking pride of place on the balcony as he got in his little black car and headed straight to Heathrow, where he was seen smiling for the cameras.

See? Harry’s happy! Never been happier, in fact.

And we the people — Brits and Americans — were never so happy to see the back of him.

😣Prince Harry at the Coronation: MAKING FACES!😳

Harry shows his true colours. Many people say he is 12 years old, but I'd say closer to three.

Ballad in Plain D: the sin of love's false security

I once loved a girl, her skin it was bronze
With the innocence of a lamb, she was gentle like a fawn
I courted her proudly but now she is gone
Gone as the season she's taken

In a young summer's youth, I stole her away
From her mother and sister, though close did they stay
Each one of them suffering from the failures of their day
With strings of guilt they tried hard to guide us

Of the two sisters, I loved the young
With sensitive instincts, she was the creative one
The constant scrapegoat, she was easily undone
By the jealousy of others around her

For her parasite sister, I had no respect
Bound by her boredom, her pride to protect
Countless visions of the other she'd reflect
As a crutch for her scenes and her society

Myself, for what I did, I cannot be excused
The changes I was going through can't even be used
For the lies that I told her in hopes not to lose
The could-be dream-lover of my lifetime

With unseen consciousness, I possessed in my grip
A magnificent mantelpiece, though its heart being chipped
Noticing not that I'd already slipped
To the sin of love's false security

From silhouetted anger to manufactured peace
Answers of emptiness, voice vacancies
'Till the tombstones of damage read me no questions but, "Please
What's wrong and what's exactly the matter?"

And so it did happen like it could have been foreseen
The timeless explosion of fantasy's dream
At the peak of the night, the king and the queen
Tumbled all down into pieces

"The tragic figure", her sister did shout
"Leave her alone, god damn you, get out!"
And I in my armor, turning about
And nailing her in the ruins of her pettiness

Beneath a bare light bulb the plaster did pound
Her sister and I in a screaming battleground
And she in between, the victim of sound
Soon shattered as a child to the shadows

All is gone, all is gone, admit it, take flight
I gagged in contradiction, tears blinding my sight
My mind it was mangled, I ran into the night
Leaving all of love's ashes behind me

The wind knocks my window, the room it is wet
The words to say I'm sorry, I haven't found yet
I think of her often and hope whoever she's met
Will be fully aware of how precious she is

Ah, my friends from the prison, they ask unto me
"How good, how good does it feel to be free?"
And I answer them most mysteriously
"Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?"

This song has a history with me. Way back in the mid-'60s, I would listen to Dylan with my brother Arthur (5 years older than me, already in university, and he'd bring a little weed when he came home to visit). For some reason we had just fastened on to the Another Side of Bob Dylan album, having failed to bond with his first (though the next one, The Freewheeling Bob Dylan, was getting closer). 

Another Side was loaded with gems, not the least of which is the blazing glory of Chimes of Freedom. But Ballad in Plain D was the one we both loved. We would smoke up when the parents were at choir practice and listen to this song almost obsessively, mostly because it seemed to be a very rare glimpse of the inner Dylan. He was for the most part pretty defended by his own brilliance, with his slashing, crashing, flashing imagery protecting the hypersensitive soul within. 

We had all sorts of conjecture about this song: who was it about, anyway? (We know nothing of Suze Rotolo at the time, though her picture was right there on the cover of Freewheeling). Arthur seemed to think it was the same girl from Spanish Harlem Incident ("your pearly eyes so fast and slashin'/And your flashin' diamond teeth"). The fact that "her skin it was bronze" seemed to point that way, though I was later to realize Suze was more blonde-ish. 

But whoever it was about, this was a romantic obsession of Byronic proportions, a grand drama of love and destruction played out beneath a bare light bulb with plaster from the walls sifting down. It was just so naked, so flat-out ("her sister and I in a screaming battle-ground"), so near-violent, with poor Suze (though we didn't know it was Suze) cowering in the shadows. 

Her mother and sister were the villains of the piece, the ones who ruined everything and finally sundered their romance. They seemed to come straight out of a bad fairy tale, with Suze an innocent Cinderella-figure in the thrall of this heartless wickedness.  The ending, with Dylan blinded with tears and running into the night, was heartbreaking, but also completely unlike the folk hipster we knew and loved. So vulnerable, so devastated! To have lost "the could-be dream lover of my lifetime" due to other people's narrowness and cruelty.

And the denouement, with Dylan lying on the bed in a dark room with tree branches knocking on the window and rain coming in. "Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?" More than vivid, this song grabs you by the guts and pulls you right in. I don't know why so many people don't like it. I believe Dylan, a man of conscience who is truly remorseful when he hurts anyone, regrets demonizing Suze's family this way, when surely, his own behaviour was what triggered the split.

But I wouldn't figure that out until much later, when I read several Dylan biographies and put the pieces of his life together I still weaken and read another one every now and then, though most of them are pretty terrible. The only one I really like is Down the Highway by Howard Sounes, the most vilified and hated of all Dylan biographies because it contains some highly personal details which seem to sully the great master's reputation. 

My brother's denouement is much sadder. Arthur lived on the streets of Toronto for several years, coping with severe mental illness before dying in a fire in 1980. I wasn't able to listen to Dylan for ten years, until caving in and buying Desire ("Your pleasure knows no limits, your voice is like a meadowlark/But your heart is like an ocean, mysterious and dark"). I was back on again.

Then came another long dry period, and realizing YouTube wasn't gonna post any Dylan - you had to try to find bootlegs by someone called Elston Gunn. This changed a few years ago, and we hit the jackpot with his entire life's work right there in front of us, for free. And like everyone else, I felt like Rough and Rowdy Ways was what enabled me to survive the pandemic. I'd sit there very late at night and listen to it and listen to it and cry my guts out.

Best of all, he is as faithful to his genius now as when he escaped middle America and sought his fortune in the Village. When you go on the official Dylan YouTube channel now, his tour itinerary appears in the description, where and when, and how to get tickets. To quote one of his own songs, Minstrel Boy: he's still on that road.

   

FOREVER CHOO-CHOO (Act Two!)

 

😺The Cat on my Desk (Beautiful Bentley!)😺

Beatiful Bentley doesn't have to do anything at all.

The Troll Doll Channel: 😀Unboxing of MUSICAL MARCHING TROLLS!🎵

A troll extravaganza! And these trolls MOVE. They walk, they play instruments, they drive around in cars and ride horses, and all you have to do is wind them up.

The Troll Doll Channel: A lovely surprise!

This was such a nice surprise! At my grandkids' dance competition, Celina, one of Erica's teachers, came bustling up to me to thank me for the personalized troll I gave her. So, the next day I gave her another one! I honestly have to start doing more giveways, as I am running out of space. But nothing gives me more joy than sharing my hobby with others, whether through videos or more direct means. Celina takes her troll, Esmeralda, wherever she goes. I hope she likes the new troll just as much!

💥BRILLIANT BLACKBIRDS on Burnaby Lake💥

The blackbirds are back! Actually, they've never been away, but that day they were "biting" as never before, devouring seeds which they shelled in a split-second. We also saw gorgeous pintails, as well as teal, coots, mallards, wood ducks, and the inevitable honking, aggressive Canada geese. My backyard birds are a constant source of wonder, and Bentley has taken to watching them from the window, leaping up every once in a while as the house finches fight over the window feeder. The finches have taken over the yard, and there are so many of them at the feeders (mostly females) that we have to assume it's nesting time and they need the food for their young. Our big old cedar tree is a kind of highrise for bird species and fat (pregnant and nursing) squirrels. We've even seen a mama squirrel flattening herself down on a cement block to keep her supposedly-weaned babies from nursing. All this has been here all the time, and I never saw it. Makes me wonder about other things I don't see.

The Man in the Arena

This quote is one of those rare statements that becomes more and more true as my life wears on. How many people do you know who carp at and criticize others for what they are too cowardly to even try to do themselves? I think Teddy Roosevelt kicks ass, though of course I don't like everything he ever did. Though he went to Africa and killed big game, it was in a time when none of those animals were endangered. In fact, he was an avid conservationist who founded the first American national park, the legendary Yellowstone. He also gave a name to that staple of childhood soft toys, the Teddy bear. Not many men have ever been so fierce, or so cuddly, at the same time.

Bob Dylan - Up to Me (with lyrics)

Everything went from bad to worse, money never changed a thing
Death kept followin', trackin' us down, at least I heard your bluebird sing
Now somebody's got to show their hand, time is an enemy
I know you're long gone
I guess it must be up to me

If I'd thought about it I never would've done it, I guess I would've let it slide
If I'd pay attention to what others were thinkin', the heart inside me would've died
Well, I was just too stubborn to ever be governed by enforced insanity
Someone had to reach for the risin' star
I guess it was up to me

Oh, the Union Central is pullin' out, the orchids are in bloom
I've only got me one good shirt left and it smells of stale perfume
In 14 months I've only smiled once and I didn't do it consciously
Somebody's got to find your trail
I guess it must be up to me

It was like a revelation when you betrayed me with your touch
I'd just about convinced myself, nothin' had changed that much
The old Rounder in the iron mask, he slipped me the master key
Somebody had to unlock your heart
He said it was up to me

Now, I watched you slowly disappear down into the officer's club
I would've followed you in the door but I didn't have a ticket stub
So I waited all night 'til the break of day, hopin' one of us could get free
Ho, when the dawn came over the river bridge
I knew it was up to me

The only decent thing I did when I worked as a postal clerk
Was to haul your picture down off the wall near the cage where I used to work
Was I a fool or not to protect your real identity?
You looked a little burned out, my friend
I thought it might be up to me

I met somebody face to face, I had to remove my hat
She's everything I need and love but I can't be swayed by that
It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be
But she ain't gonna make a move
I guess it must be up to me

Now, we heard the Sermon on the Mount and I knew it was too complex
It didn't amount to anything more than what the broken glass reflects
When you bite off more than you can chew, you got to pay the penalty
Somebody's got to tell the tale
I guess it must be up to me

Dupree came in pimpin' tonight to the Thunderbird Cafe
Crystal wanted to talk to him, I had to look the other way
Now, I just can't rest without you, love, I need your company
But you ain't a-gonna cross the line
I guess it must be up to me

There's a note left in the bottle, you can give it to Estelle
She's the one you been wonderin' about, but there's really nothin' much to tell
We both heard voices for a while, now the rest is history
Somebody's got to cry some tears
I guess it must be up to me

So go on, boys, and play your hands, life is a pantomime
The ringleaders from the county seat say you don't have all that much time
And the girl with me behind the shades, she ain't my property
One of us has got to hit the road
I guess it must be up to me

If we never meet again, baby, remember me
How my lone guitar played sweet for you that old-time melody
And the harmonica around my neck, I blew it for you, free
No one else could play that tune
You know it was up to me

😁Slinky Walks Down the Stairs! (vintage video)😁

💙How to be hopeful in trying times💙

🌻HAPPY EASTER! Adorable newborn goats!🌞

This is the best thing I've ever seen. Within minutes, these tiny kids are on their wobbly legs while Mama Goat licks them. Happy Easter, everyone!

👽😳The Troll Doll Channel: THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED!😳👽

I have always loved the creepy Art Bell "Area 51" phone call, in which a frantic caller describes an impending global catastrophe at the hands of extraterrestrial beings who are "not what they seem". Though this call was later apparently debunked as a hoax by the caller himself, numerous people claim it wasn't the same person and that this was yet another coverup. I have to admit, it sounds pretty convincing, but it might be nothing more than a man's paranoid breakdown after being put on medical leave. We will never know now, but it was an honor for my troll to re-enact this historically creepy recording.

Clock scene Metropolis 1927 HD

Horsemen from Hell: Murnau's Faust

 

The hideous horsemen from hell. From Murnau's Faust, the movie of my dreams.

1899 "Luna Waltz" Played On Mira 18 1/2 inch Concert Grand Console Music...

Speaking of carousels. . . this music box is the charm.

Carousel Waltz (Richard Rodgers, 1945)

I have always loved the Carousel Waltz, and sifted through YouTube to try to find a good version. I found several - and then this one, and I wondered what piece of music I was listening to. It COULDN'T be the same one! It was like wandering around in a very familiar setting - a circus, maybe, or a carnival - but seeing everything startlingly new, the veils ripped away, as if I were hearing it all for the very first time. 

It's just the way the musicians attack the piece, the way they don't pussyfoot around but just dive right in. And make no mistake, this IS circus music, dark, sometimes dissonant, with thumping bass drums and blasting tubas, dreamily romantic (OH THOSE VIOLAS!), with sparkly carnival effects charmingly reproduced by crisp percussion and those big bald men blowing tiny little piccolos. 

This is a glorious piece of music which has beckoned and pulled me in again, after too long away from music, too much distraction, too many things pulling me in different directions. This is so perfect and encompasses so much, with a glittering cinematic quality and a kind of primal sophistication. And the tempo couldn't be more perfect - bad tempi being my all-time-worst pet peeve in music. For that, you must thank the conductor - and this is without a doubt some of the most glorious conducting I've ever heard. The musicians play this with focus, joy and gusto, but also with the requisite fierceness that is all a part of a beloved musical which, for a popular Broadway show, is exceptionally dark.

And because I just thought of it, here's another favorite piece I keep coming back to - another dance in 3/4 time, Khatchaturian's magnificent Masquerade Waltz, (sometimes called Dark Waltz), with the same primal, inscrutable melancholy lurking under a great bumptious cymbal-crashing piece of circus music. Call it My Armenian Cousin.

Meghan Markle, Fashion Disaster!

A Faustian Bargain (or, white robes and turkey soup)

One of my weirder dreams, which I only remember in detail because I had it right before I woke up.

Faustian Dream  March 24, 2023

We were having people over for homemade turkey soup which I always make after Xmas.  I don't know how many (seven?), or whether they were friends or relatives, though my brother Walt seemed to be in the mix. 

I was busy preparing for this by knitting white garments out of sheep wool for everyone to wear. These were long robes, floor-length, with long sleeves and hoods.

We were all going to watch the silent film version of Murnau's Faust on TV.

I realized there was not enough meat for the soup, so I went to look in the freezer. I also realized all the knitted robes were child-sized and would not fit anyone. The robes also had legs like they were pants or jumpsuits.

I had complaints (from someone?) that the wool used in the robes irritated some people’s skin and they couldn’t wear them, and I wished I had used synthetic, but the real wool was to give the robes a special quality and significance and would cost more.

We watched a part of  Faust which I hadn’t seen before (I expected to see the phantom horses at the start, but saw some sort of Cyclops being killed and wondered if this was a director’s cut). Gabor Mate was at this event and wearing a very short version of the gown with skinny legs sticking out – he was on my right. He was the only person I recognized. Others were there, very vague and shadowy but, did not know who they were or how many or even why they were there.

I wore the gown with the hood pulled up, like a Druid.

Now that I look at it, this seems like a sort of cult wearing robes I’d made, and eating food I made, but I still have no idea who they were or why we were there or what sort of cult it was, or why I would ever organize or take part in a cult to begin with, as I hate them, but am also fascinated with them and can't get enough of reading about them and watching documentaries about them. I have recently been reading about NXVIM, or however you spell it, the cult where women are held down and branded. No branding took place, but no one ate turkey soup either, and except for Gabor Mate no one seemed to be wearing the robes (but I am not sure because I could not really see them). The familiar music from the opening of Faust was playing, but it looked all different (I had seen a clip from it recently).

And all this before breakfast!

Magical Forest (clip)

 

More experiments with the new YouTube "clip" feature, which allows you to clip one minute of sound in a continuous loop. A sort of gif with music.

Stravinsky: Tango

 

Clip from YouTube! (experimental video)

 

YouTube has a new "thing" that I've been experimenting with, but it seems unlikely I can do anything with it. Or not!

The Troll Doll Channel: HAWAIIAN LOVE CALL!🌸

Like Tom Robbins says, it's never too late to have a happy childhood. Here I present two nostalgic elements from that long-ago time: my troll collection, and Spike Jones!

🐦BIRD RINGS DOORBELL🦆

Is this the WORST troll on eBay?

1960-70 Large Troll Doll
 

Item Information

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Price:
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Approximately C $61.89

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