Ballad in Plain D: the sin of love's false security

I once loved a girl, her skin it was bronze
With the innocence of a lamb, she was gentle like a fawn
I courted her proudly but now she is gone
Gone as the season she's taken

In a young summer's youth, I stole her away
From her mother and sister, though close did they stay
Each one of them suffering from the failures of their day
With strings of guilt they tried hard to guide us

Of the two sisters, I loved the young
With sensitive instincts, she was the creative one
The constant scrapegoat, she was easily undone
By the jealousy of others around her

For her parasite sister, I had no respect
Bound by her boredom, her pride to protect
Countless visions of the other she'd reflect
As a crutch for her scenes and her society

Myself, for what I did, I cannot be excused
The changes I was going through can't even be used
For the lies that I told her in hopes not to lose
The could-be dream-lover of my lifetime

With unseen consciousness, I possessed in my grip
A magnificent mantelpiece, though its heart being chipped
Noticing not that I'd already slipped
To the sin of love's false security

From silhouetted anger to manufactured peace
Answers of emptiness, voice vacancies
'Till the tombstones of damage read me no questions but, "Please
What's wrong and what's exactly the matter?"

And so it did happen like it could have been foreseen
The timeless explosion of fantasy's dream
At the peak of the night, the king and the queen
Tumbled all down into pieces

"The tragic figure", her sister did shout
"Leave her alone, god damn you, get out!"
And I in my armor, turning about
And nailing her in the ruins of her pettiness

Beneath a bare light bulb the plaster did pound
Her sister and I in a screaming battleground
And she in between, the victim of sound
Soon shattered as a child to the shadows

All is gone, all is gone, admit it, take flight
I gagged in contradiction, tears blinding my sight
My mind it was mangled, I ran into the night
Leaving all of love's ashes behind me

The wind knocks my window, the room it is wet
The words to say I'm sorry, I haven't found yet
I think of her often and hope whoever she's met
Will be fully aware of how precious she is

Ah, my friends from the prison, they ask unto me
"How good, how good does it feel to be free?"
And I answer them most mysteriously
"Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?"

This song has a history with me. Way back in the mid-'60s, I would listen to Dylan with my brother Arthur (5 years older than me, already in university, and he'd bring a little weed when he came home to visit). For some reason we had just fastened on to the Another Side of Bob Dylan album, having failed to bond with his first (though the next one, The Freewheeling Bob Dylan, was getting closer). 

Another Side was loaded with gems, not the least of which is the blazing glory of Chimes of Freedom. But Ballad in Plain D was the one we both loved. We would smoke up when the parents were at choir practice and listen to this song almost obsessively, mostly because it seemed to be a very rare glimpse of the inner Dylan. He was for the most part pretty defended by his own brilliance, with his slashing, crashing, flashing imagery protecting the hypersensitive soul within. 

We had all sorts of conjecture about this song: who was it about, anyway? (We know nothing of Suze Rotolo at the time, though her picture was right there on the cover of Freewheeling). Arthur seemed to think it was the same girl from Spanish Harlem Incident ("your pearly eyes so fast and slashin'/And your flashin' diamond teeth"). The fact that "her skin it was bronze" seemed to point that way, though I was later to realize Suze was more blonde-ish. 

But whoever it was about, this was a romantic obsession of Byronic proportions, a grand drama of love and destruction played out beneath a bare light bulb with plaster from the walls sifting down. It was just so naked, so flat-out ("her sister and I in a screaming battle-ground"), so near-violent, with poor Suze (though we didn't know it was Suze) cowering in the shadows. 

Her mother and sister were the villains of the piece, the ones who ruined everything and finally sundered their romance. They seemed to come straight out of a bad fairy tale, with Suze an innocent Cinderella-figure in the thrall of this heartless wickedness.  The ending, with Dylan blinded with tears and running into the night, was heartbreaking, but also completely unlike the folk hipster we knew and loved. So vulnerable, so devastated! To have lost "the could-be dream lover of my lifetime" due to other people's narrowness and cruelty.

And the denouement, with Dylan lying on the bed in a dark room with tree branches knocking on the window and rain coming in. "Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?" More than vivid, this song grabs you by the guts and pulls you right in. I don't know why so many people don't like it. I believe Dylan, a man of conscience who is truly remorseful when he hurts anyone, regrets demonizing Suze's family this way, when surely, his own behaviour was what triggered the split.

But I wouldn't figure that out until much later, when I read several Dylan biographies and put the pieces of his life together I still weaken and read another one every now and then, though most of them are pretty terrible. The only one I really like is Down the Highway by Howard Sounes, the most vilified and hated of all Dylan biographies because it contains some highly personal details which seem to sully the great master's reputation. 

My brother's denouement is much sadder. Arthur lived on the streets of Toronto for several years, coping with severe mental illness before dying in a fire in 1980. I wasn't able to listen to Dylan for ten years, until caving in and buying Desire ("Your pleasure knows no limits, your voice is like a meadowlark/But your heart is like an ocean, mysterious and dark"). I was back on again.

Then came another long dry period, and realizing YouTube wasn't gonna post any Dylan - you had to try to find bootlegs by someone called Elston Gunn. This changed a few years ago, and we hit the jackpot with his entire life's work right there in front of us, for free. And like everyone else, I felt like Rough and Rowdy Ways was what enabled me to survive the pandemic. I'd sit there very late at night and listen to it and listen to it and cry my guts out.

Best of all, he is as faithful to his genius now as when he escaped middle America and sought his fortune in the Village. When you go on the official Dylan YouTube channel now, his tour itinerary appears in the description, where and when, and how to get tickets. To quote one of his own songs, Minstrel Boy: he's still on that road.

   

FOREVER CHOO-CHOO (Act Two!)

 

😺The Cat on my Desk (Beautiful Bentley!)😺

Beatiful Bentley doesn't have to do anything at all.

The Troll Doll Channel: 😀Unboxing of MUSICAL MARCHING TROLLS!🎵

A troll extravaganza! And these trolls MOVE. They walk, they play instruments, they drive around in cars and ride horses, and all you have to do is wind them up.

The Troll Doll Channel: A lovely surprise!

This was such a nice surprise! At my grandkids' dance competition, Celina, one of Erica's teachers, came bustling up to me to thank me for the personalized troll I gave her. So, the next day I gave her another one! I honestly have to start doing more giveways, as I am running out of space. But nothing gives me more joy than sharing my hobby with others, whether through videos or more direct means. Celina takes her troll, Esmeralda, wherever she goes. I hope she likes the new troll just as much!

💥BRILLIANT BLACKBIRDS on Burnaby Lake💥

The blackbirds are back! Actually, they've never been away, but that day they were "biting" as never before, devouring seeds which they shelled in a split-second. We also saw gorgeous pintails, as well as teal, coots, mallards, wood ducks, and the inevitable honking, aggressive Canada geese. My backyard birds are a constant source of wonder, and Bentley has taken to watching them from the window, leaping up every once in a while as the house finches fight over the window feeder. The finches have taken over the yard, and there are so many of them at the feeders (mostly females) that we have to assume it's nesting time and they need the food for their young. Our big old cedar tree is a kind of highrise for bird species and fat (pregnant and nursing) squirrels. We've even seen a mama squirrel flattening herself down on a cement block to keep her supposedly-weaned babies from nursing. All this has been here all the time, and I never saw it. Makes me wonder about other things I don't see.

The Man in the Arena

This quote is one of those rare statements that becomes more and more true as my life wears on. How many people do you know who carp at and criticize others for what they are too cowardly to even try to do themselves? I think Teddy Roosevelt kicks ass, though of course I don't like everything he ever did. Though he went to Africa and killed big game, it was in a time when none of those animals were endangered. In fact, he was an avid conservationist who founded the first American national park, the legendary Yellowstone. He also gave a name to that staple of childhood soft toys, the Teddy bear. Not many men have ever been so fierce, or so cuddly, at the same time.

Bob Dylan - Up to Me (with lyrics)

Everything went from bad to worse, money never changed a thing
Death kept followin', trackin' us down, at least I heard your bluebird sing
Now somebody's got to show their hand, time is an enemy
I know you're long gone
I guess it must be up to me

If I'd thought about it I never would've done it, I guess I would've let it slide
If I'd pay attention to what others were thinkin', the heart inside me would've died
Well, I was just too stubborn to ever be governed by enforced insanity
Someone had to reach for the risin' star
I guess it was up to me

Oh, the Union Central is pullin' out, the orchids are in bloom
I've only got me one good shirt left and it smells of stale perfume
In 14 months I've only smiled once and I didn't do it consciously
Somebody's got to find your trail
I guess it must be up to me

It was like a revelation when you betrayed me with your touch
I'd just about convinced myself, nothin' had changed that much
The old Rounder in the iron mask, he slipped me the master key
Somebody had to unlock your heart
He said it was up to me

Now, I watched you slowly disappear down into the officer's club
I would've followed you in the door but I didn't have a ticket stub
So I waited all night 'til the break of day, hopin' one of us could get free
Ho, when the dawn came over the river bridge
I knew it was up to me

The only decent thing I did when I worked as a postal clerk
Was to haul your picture down off the wall near the cage where I used to work
Was I a fool or not to protect your real identity?
You looked a little burned out, my friend
I thought it might be up to me

I met somebody face to face, I had to remove my hat
She's everything I need and love but I can't be swayed by that
It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be
But she ain't gonna make a move
I guess it must be up to me

Now, we heard the Sermon on the Mount and I knew it was too complex
It didn't amount to anything more than what the broken glass reflects
When you bite off more than you can chew, you got to pay the penalty
Somebody's got to tell the tale
I guess it must be up to me

Dupree came in pimpin' tonight to the Thunderbird Cafe
Crystal wanted to talk to him, I had to look the other way
Now, I just can't rest without you, love, I need your company
But you ain't a-gonna cross the line
I guess it must be up to me

There's a note left in the bottle, you can give it to Estelle
She's the one you been wonderin' about, but there's really nothin' much to tell
We both heard voices for a while, now the rest is history
Somebody's got to cry some tears
I guess it must be up to me

So go on, boys, and play your hands, life is a pantomime
The ringleaders from the county seat say you don't have all that much time
And the girl with me behind the shades, she ain't my property
One of us has got to hit the road
I guess it must be up to me

If we never meet again, baby, remember me
How my lone guitar played sweet for you that old-time melody
And the harmonica around my neck, I blew it for you, free
No one else could play that tune
You know it was up to me

😁Slinky Walks Down the Stairs! (vintage video)😁

💙How to be hopeful in trying times💙

🌻HAPPY EASTER! Adorable newborn goats!🌞

This is the best thing I've ever seen. Within minutes, these tiny kids are on their wobbly legs while Mama Goat licks them. Happy Easter, everyone!

👽😳The Troll Doll Channel: THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED!😳👽

I have always loved the creepy Art Bell "Area 51" phone call, in which a frantic caller describes an impending global catastrophe at the hands of extraterrestrial beings who are "not what they seem". Though this call was later apparently debunked as a hoax by the caller himself, numerous people claim it wasn't the same person and that this was yet another coverup. I have to admit, it sounds pretty convincing, but it might be nothing more than a man's paranoid breakdown after being put on medical leave. We will never know now, but it was an honor for my troll to re-enact this historically creepy recording.

Clock scene Metropolis 1927 HD

Horsemen from Hell: Murnau's Faust

 

The hideous horsemen from hell. From Murnau's Faust, the movie of my dreams.

1899 "Luna Waltz" Played On Mira 18 1/2 inch Concert Grand Console Music...

Speaking of carousels. . . this music box is the charm.

Carousel Waltz (Richard Rodgers, 1945)

I have always loved the Carousel Waltz, and sifted through YouTube to try to find a good version. I found several - and then this one, and I wondered what piece of music I was listening to. It COULDN'T be the same one! It was like wandering around in a very familiar setting - a circus, maybe, or a carnival - but seeing everything startlingly new, the veils ripped away, as if I were hearing it all for the very first time. 

It's just the way the musicians attack the piece, the way they don't pussyfoot around but just dive right in. And make no mistake, this IS circus music, dark, sometimes dissonant, with thumping bass drums and blasting tubas, dreamily romantic (OH THOSE VIOLAS!), with sparkly carnival effects charmingly reproduced by crisp percussion and those big bald men blowing tiny little piccolos. 

This is a glorious piece of music which has beckoned and pulled me in again, after too long away from music, too much distraction, too many things pulling me in different directions. This is so perfect and encompasses so much, with a glittering cinematic quality and a kind of primal sophistication. And the tempo couldn't be more perfect - bad tempi being my all-time-worst pet peeve in music. For that, you must thank the conductor - and this is without a doubt some of the most glorious conducting I've ever heard. The musicians play this with focus, joy and gusto, but also with the requisite fierceness that is all a part of a beloved musical which, for a popular Broadway show, is exceptionally dark.

And because I just thought of it, here's another favorite piece I keep coming back to - another dance in 3/4 time, Khatchaturian's magnificent Masquerade Waltz, (sometimes called Dark Waltz), with the same primal, inscrutable melancholy lurking under a great bumptious cymbal-crashing piece of circus music. Call it My Armenian Cousin.

Meghan Markle, Fashion Disaster!

A Faustian Bargain (or, white robes and turkey soup)

One of my weirder dreams, which I only remember in detail because I had it right before I woke up.

Faustian Dream  March 24, 2023

We were having people over for homemade turkey soup which I always make after Xmas.  I don't know how many (seven?), or whether they were friends or relatives, though my brother Walt seemed to be in the mix. 

I was busy preparing for this by knitting white garments out of sheep wool for everyone to wear. These were long robes, floor-length, with long sleeves and hoods.

We were all going to watch the silent film version of Murnau's Faust on TV.

I realized there was not enough meat for the soup, so I went to look in the freezer. I also realized all the knitted robes were child-sized and would not fit anyone. The robes also had legs like they were pants or jumpsuits.

I had complaints (from someone?) that the wool used in the robes irritated some people’s skin and they couldn’t wear them, and I wished I had used synthetic, but the real wool was to give the robes a special quality and significance and would cost more.

We watched a part of  Faust which I hadn’t seen before (I expected to see the phantom horses at the start, but saw some sort of Cyclops being killed and wondered if this was a director’s cut). Gabor Mate was at this event and wearing a very short version of the gown with skinny legs sticking out – he was on my right. He was the only person I recognized. Others were there, very vague and shadowy but, did not know who they were or how many or even why they were there.

I wore the gown with the hood pulled up, like a Druid.

Now that I look at it, this seems like a sort of cult wearing robes I’d made, and eating food I made, but I still have no idea who they were or why we were there or what sort of cult it was, or why I would ever organize or take part in a cult to begin with, as I hate them, but am also fascinated with them and can't get enough of reading about them and watching documentaries about them. I have recently been reading about NXVIM, or however you spell it, the cult where women are held down and branded. No branding took place, but no one ate turkey soup either, and except for Gabor Mate no one seemed to be wearing the robes (but I am not sure because I could not really see them). The familiar music from the opening of Faust was playing, but it looked all different (I had seen a clip from it recently).

And all this before breakfast!

Magical Forest (clip)

 

More experiments with the new YouTube "clip" feature, which allows you to clip one minute of sound in a continuous loop. A sort of gif with music.

Stravinsky: Tango

 

Clip from YouTube! (experimental video)

 

YouTube has a new "thing" that I've been experimenting with, but it seems unlikely I can do anything with it. Or not!

The Troll Doll Channel: HAWAIIAN LOVE CALL!🌸

Like Tom Robbins says, it's never too late to have a happy childhood. Here I present two nostalgic elements from that long-ago time: my troll collection, and Spike Jones!

🐦BIRD RINGS DOORBELL🦆

Is this the WORST troll on eBay?

1960-70 Large Troll Doll
 

Item Information

Condition:
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Price:
US $45.00

Approximately C $61.89

100% positive feedback

Shipping:
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International shipment of items may be subject to customs processing and additional charges.
Located in: Rose Hill, Virginia, United States

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Seller ships within 4 days after receiving cleared payment.
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No returns accepted. 

💗🧡💛Ferociousgumby THANKS YOU!💚💙💜

Not that I'm proud of my channel! Well, yes. From its beginnings in 2013 as a baking/crafts channel with Caitlin, to the indefinable weirdness of today, it has been a constant source of - what? Lots of things. I attempt to explain it here. Weirdest of all, I was just contacted by the producer of an MTV video clips show called Ridiculousness, asking my permission to use a video I made years ago - of Bill sneezing. How they found it, I do not know. It got 61,000 views, which for me is astronomical, though the highest one so far is 9,100,000 for a really stupid one with a rubber robot singing Daisy (like HAL in 2001).

It's is still getting multiple comments a day, but it's a complete coincidence. I had no idea it was "trending" on TikTok, and it still must be or I wouldn't be still getting so many views. I don't want to get caught up in views and subscribers, but being up to 14,800 subs is something I never expected. What's most gratifying is that my granddaughters, particularly Erica, think this is all WAY cool, especially the MTV thing. 

Whether they actually use it or not remains to be seen, but just being chosen is - well, something, I guess, out of the multi-millions or even billions of channels and videos (and Gangnam Style long ago surpassed a billion views). So here I try to explain it all, or at least talk about it. I've kept this blog for more than ten years and barely know if people read it, but I do get comments, several a week, usually from VERY old posts that people must have googled up. I also google MYSELF up quite frequently. When I do an image search, half the time images from my own blog posts come up. Which is kind of strange, but not for the internet.

25 Ways in Which We Use Asbestos (and Dangerous Things made of Celluloid!)

I think these are absolutely gorgeous! I've tried cutting them up into little pieces, but it takes forever. So I just enlarged a couple of them. Aside from marvelous life lessons on how to and how NOT to play cricket, we learn that while celluloid is horribly dangerous, asbestos is just fine and is in fact a miracle fibre that can be used to fireproof, insulate, make oven mitts, etc. (until miners began to die in appalling numbers due to asbestos-choked lungs). I myself played with asbestos back in the day, with a type of modelling clay not unlike papier-mache. You took this powdery grey stuff and mixed it with mucilege (what we used to call "school glue"), and behold, a nice mushy modelling material out of which you could make nifty things like ash trays. Speaking of dangerous! I remember grey dust flew up out of the powder and drifted and hung in the air, where we undoubtedly inhaled it without a care. Reminds me of how medical science is now discovering that talcum powder isn't good for you. OH REALLY? For generations, newborn infants inhaled this powdered mineral stuff, and no one even thought about it. Johnson & Johnson is now facing zillion-dollar lawsuits, and their baby powder is now made of cornstarch. But why was it ever made of a toxic mineral in the first place?

MY BIG FAT GREY SQUIRREL!

Why is it grey squirrels are so much cuter than the blackies? The silver-grey fur, the white ring around the eyes, the FAT FAT lush silver tail, and their habit of looking right at you as you film them foraging. . . I can't stay mad at them, even as they drain all my bird feeders.

Harry and Meghan: Watching paint dry

CRAIG BROWN: News just in from Harry and Meghan's new hometown of Montecito... yes, watching paint dry CAN save the world

By Craig Brown for the Daily Mail

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over an invitation to the King’s Coronation in May.

A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have been emailed about the event but it’s not yet clear if they’ll accept. And that’s the news. The time is three minutes past eight.

March 7: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over the a la carte menu at an out-of-town restaurant near their home in Montecito, California. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have not yet decided between the Cobb salad and the sushi. A decision is expected imminently.

March 8: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over whether to go out or stay in. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have been involved in discussions about the relative benefits of the two options.

March 9: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be watching paint dry. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they are pursuing their paint-watching in a spirit of universal unity and reconciliation on behalf of all the underprivileged people of the world.

March 10: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be preparing a statement about how their paint-watching operation is going. In an exclusive interview on CNN — his first in more than two hours — Prince Harry said: ‘I was never given the opportunity to watch paint dry in my childhood. It was always like “Oh, no, no, no, you must be able to find something better to do. You want to do this, you don’t want to do that.”

‘They tried to make out that the paint would dry whether or not I watched it. It was, like, brutal. And that’s something that, as an adult, I’ve struggled to cope with.’

March 11: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over an invitation to watch paint dry at the newly decorated house of their neighbour Oprah Winfrey in Montecito, California.

In an exclusive interview with the entertainment editor of Psychology Today, the duchess said that over the coming years they are determined to let their children watch as much paint dry as possible.

‘It’s, like, a very positive experience. It, like, teaches you that though paint of whatever colour or creed may at first be very, very wet, so wet it’s like, really, really wet, well, you only have to, like, wait long enough, and — here’s the amazing thing — it will eventually dry.

‘And to me that’s the most valuable life lesson of them all.’

March 12: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over whether to sign up for a major Netflix series, Harry and Meghan: Becoming Dry.

A spokesperson for the couple said: ‘Harry and Meghan are proud to share their passion for watching paint dry with millions of others, harnessing their own expertise to push for safer, more inclusive paint-watching communities around the world.’

Speaking to her friend Gwyneth Paltrow for her podcast Spending And Caring, Meghan said: ‘Harry and I want to shed light on paint and continue to watch it dry so as to empower and inspire others to protect this beautiful, fragile planet we call Earth.’

March 13: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be gazing at their own navels with great tenderness and compassion, in a specially curated session at the Archewell Navel-Gazing and Enlightenment Retreat (ANGER) in Montecito.

Prince Harry reveals on the My Best Trauma podcast that learning to gaze at his own navel has done wonders for his mental health.

‘As a child, I, like, literally didn’t have a navel, or, if I did, I didn’t know where it was and was certainly not encouraged to gaze at it.

‘Growing up, I suffered from unconscious bias against my own navel. I never gave it a chance to speak, so naturally it felt sidelined.

‘And that’s why Meghan and I are now on a mission to teach everyone to engage with their navels, and to listen to everything our navels have to tell us about our shared values.’

News just in: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex announce their new Archewell Nursing Home, dedicated to nursing all kinds of grievance, from the wholly inconsiderable to the very small.

OH ME, OH MEMES! Just some funny stuff