MARRIED LOVE (a user's guide)

This is an oldie-but-goodie (or baddie, depending on your perspective) which I have tried to "blow up" before. This time I think it's legible enough that I don't have to spend an hour trying to do a transcript. OH HOW I WISH I could get hold of an actual copy of this booklet! After all, a Federal Judge has Lifted the BAN on the pamphlet, no doubt deemed obscene by the FDA or FDR or whatever. The address is also entertaining: American Biological Society in New York. No doubt it came in a plain brown wrapper so the postman wouldn't keel over in shock, or your neighbor filch it out of your mail box.  I LOVE the ads at the bottom: EARN MONEY Women DO FURCRAFT WORK AT HOME (furcraft?!); YARN WORLD'S FINEST LOWEST PRICES; SKIN RASH RELIEVED. . . ITCHING STOPPED, and - best of all - HAPPY RELIEF FROM PAINFUL BACKACHE Caused by Tired Kidneys. Well, my kidneys might be tired too, and my back sore, if I followed all the instructions in that little book. 

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🌕GOLDEN HARVEST MOON in Autumn Night Sky

Shot through the bathroom window, late at night. This shouldn't have happened! Haze from forest fires had been turning the sun red for days, but now the MOON - if that was what it was - was the wrong colour as well, almost orange, giving off an eerie light. I grabbed my camera and tried hard to focus, couldn't at all convey what my naked eye was seeing - only a white blob - until I zoomed in - and in -  and - 

To my astonishment, the lunar surface snapped into sharp relief. I could see all those features which my ancient camcorder could not possibly have captured! But here it was. The only problem was, the camera was shaking wildly. My first two takes were a disaster, ending in swearing and falling off the box I was standing on to try to reach the window. On the third or so take, this happened. I at least held the camera steady enough so that the moon wasn't flying all over the place ("The moon was a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy seas" - Mindvault #496). I nearly used a slightly earlier take where the moon was still hiding behind the branches of the trees. But the whole thing just changed moment by moment. The moon is like that, you see. It was like lightning in a bottle, impossible to truly capture. But I did my best. This one is not even going to top 20 views, which is too  bad, because some of my really shitty ones have had hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands, or (in one particularly ludicrous case) over seven million. 

So I put my heart out there, my glowing, vulnerable, moonie heart, the way I see the heavens, the sacrifice of squashing boxes and falling down and swearing. . . but maybe SOMEBODY will see it. And, as an added bonus, now I can see it over and over again, as many times as I want. It could be that I am the only one who will ever truly appreciate it.

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🚘Saturday Night Cruise: They're BACK, Baby - Louder, Faster and Cooler ...

After a two-year absence, the Port Coquitlam Car Show is back - and oh boy, are they cool! The neighborhood cruise is a highlight. The show the next day was MOBBED with people - three or four times the usual crowd - so that it was pretty hard to get anywhere near the cars. But it was plain how much people had missed this annual event. ZOOM-ZOOM!

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BLOGGER'S NOTE. I FINALLY (finally finally) updated my Amazon author page! The photo was ridiculously out of date, and the text was. . . it needed work. Now it looks pretty much the way I want. You can also follow my blog on this page, AND buy all three of my published novels! 

MEGHAN MARKLE: "I was SUCH A FRAUD!"

This has garnered over 500 views on my channel!

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Federal holiday for Queen's funeral

Part two of Shannon's coverage of how the Queen's funeral on September 19 will affect Canadians in the workplace.

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National holiday for Queen's funeral?

My illustrious daughter Shannon Paterson, a 20-year veteran in broadcasting (and winner of numerous awards - not that I'm proud of her!💗) reports on the death of the Queen and what it will mean for Canada, including our national holidays. Though I hadn't planned on it, I've been closely following news of the huge seismic shift taking place, not just in Britain but the entire world, after the loss of the 70-year monarch. I guess I can't help but be swept along in it, more emotionally-invested than I ever thought I would be.

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Mummy "HEARTS" Bentley!

And a couple of new author photos (which my husband took) for my blog, YouTube channel and Amazon Author page, LONG overdue, taken post-pandemic-hairstyle (which I actually like far better than the old short style). Now I'm good for another five years.

I 💗💙💚💛💜BENTLEY!!!

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HAPPY and GLORIOUS: The Life of Queen Elizabeth II

I hadn't planned on doing a tribute to the Queen - but this was therapy for me. 

God Save the Queen

I'm letting Piers Morgan handle this one, as I'm just too emotional to talk about it. And I think he really says it better than anyone I've heard up to now. As the Queen's life ebbed away, a glorious rainbow appeared over Buckingham Palace, arching over the awestruck, weeping crowd. Normally I wouldn't put much store by this sort of thing, but I got a chill when I saw it: yes, that was her final message to the world, a hopeful one, just as God set his bow in the cloud to let us know he would never abandon us, come what may. People die the way they live, and her parting was full of dignity and grace, her spirit strong until the very end. How can she be gone from this world? Wasn't she, in some way, the mother of us all? 

I will share with you a comment I left on the one remaining royal channel I still watch. I have had enough of the sickening melodrama in Montecito and never want to see either of them again. Once again, graciousness and nobility must prevail.

I feel as if I have lost a family member. My memories of the Queen go back as far as early childhood, seeing her portrait on the wall of my kindergarten class, singing God Save the Queen at school assemblies. . .and having to draw the Union Jack with blue and red pencils and a ruler, which was fiendishly difficult! Over the many years her significance in Canada became more ceremonial, but no less heartfelt. She was the mother of us all, or the mother we wish we'd had, steadfast and always there. This woman got us through World War II, for heaven's sake - she walked beside Churchill and Roosevelt and all the other heroes of that challenging time - and was with us through wars and crises and births and deaths and celebrations, including her incredible Jubilee this year. Even through the ultimate trial of losing her beloved, she walked on. My husband likes to say "people die the way they live", and I like to think her passing was dignified and peaceful - and I admire and love the fact that she remained active and a hands-on world leader until the very end. Today I did something a little strange - something I never expected I'd do - I unsubscribed from all the royal channels except this one. I simply could not stand any more negativity and wanted to focus only on the great heart and indomitable spirit of this magnificent woman.

If I can be a boy OR a girl, can I be young OR old? (and other inane questions)

69-Year-Old Dutch Man Identifies As “Age Fluid” And Seeks To Legally Change His Age By 20 Years

By Bernadette Deron
Published November 12, 2018

He claims that his biological age does not reflect his emotional age, and is hurting his chances with women on Tinder.

69-year-old Dutch “positivity guru”, Emile Ratelband, has embarked on a legal battle in the Netherlands to legally make his age 20 years younger.

Born on March 11, 1949, Ratelband wishes to change his birth date to March 11, 1969.

Ratelband is a motivational speaker and trainer in neuro-linguistic programming. He said in a courtroom in the city of Arnhem in the eastern Dutch province of Gelderland recently that he doesn’t feel “comfortable” with his date of birth. Instead, Emile Ratelband wishes to be identified as 20 years his junior. He believes this age change will enable him to go back to work and to achieve more success in his personal life.

The guru feels that he is discriminated against on dating apps like Tinder because of his age. He continues that his advanced age is not reflective of either his character or physical well-being:

“I have done a check-up and what does it show? My biological age is 45 years. When I’m 69, I am limited. If I’m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work. When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.”

Emile Ratelband added that if transgender people are allowed to undergo a sex change operation and identify as a different gender, then if he identifies as a different age he should thus be allowed to change his date of birth:

“Transgenders can now have their gender changed on their birth certificate, and in the same spirit there should be room for an age change.”

The judge apparently seemed to be somewhat sympathetic to Ratelband’s cause. He noted that the concept of legally changing one’s gender was once completely unthinkable:

“I agree with you,” the judge said, “a lot of years ago we thought that was impossible.”

But the judge also recognized that there would ensue negative consequences from changing one’s date of birth, namely that the process would effectively delete a massive chunk of one’s life.

The judge asked Emile Ratelband what would happen to the early years of his life, from 1949 to 1969, should his request be granted: “For whom did your parents care? Who was that little boy then?”

"With the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position" - E. Ratelband

Emile Ratelband nullified this statement and responded that both his parents are dead. He argued that his legal age-change would actually be good for the government, as he would not seek his pension until he reaches the country’s retirement age again, 20 years down the line.

As ridiculous as the argument sounds, Ratelband’s court battle has actually tested the limits of individual human rights.

Indeed, at the end of the 45-minute court session, Emile Ratelband stated that his case is “really a question of free will.”

The court is scheduled to submit a written ruling in early December 2018.

BLOGGER'S BLOTTER. About this, I just don't know what to say. I'd rather say nothing and call it a day, but feel called upon to say something.

This guy is just squirrely enough to be taken seriously: that is, taken to mean that he means it. With his weaselly sense of influence, of entitlement, of agency, he might just pull this off.

It just means the Gabor sisters were around in the wrong era. Were they here today, they could just keep going back for more and more birth date changes, knocking off the decades, even if it meant having so many brow lifts they became airborne. But surely this is a sardonic view, written from the perspective of someone who has never experienced it.

We're in a position now where we can't say anything at all about any of this, however, which is the only reason I find this interesting at all. Is he really backhanding the whole transgender movement and trying to make it look ridiculous? Or is he - serious? Does he want to jam himself right in behind the thin edge of the wedge driven by transgender pioneers? Thus he'd reap all the rewards, without having to experience all that agony of soul.

If he has one.

Imagine seeing that face on Tinder. I don't care if he says he's 39 or 29 or even 19. He is a holy horror of a man. His website is hilarious: he claims to make "tailor-made presentations" to all sorts of businesses, meaning: look, pay me enough and I will say anything you want, even if I don't mean any of it at all.

A man for our times.

But really. Tinder, and such.  I'm too old for all that, but I hear it's a real meat market, and how fresh IS the meat of a man who is nearly 70?  For that matter, 50 is seriously pushing the best-before date.

No, it MUST be a joke. Or not? I heard about the first successful human head transplant on the news a few months ago, the item read straight, no horrors or commentary or anything. Just: here's what they're doing in the operating room, folks. My stomach dropped at the same time that my hair stood up. I was unable to look it up on the internet to see if it was true.

This guy may want some other organ transplanted. Or is it his brain, after all? Put that ugly pocked head on the body of a 29-year-old, and see how far he gets on Tinder. 

UPDATE. Or downdate or something. While trying to find a thing I posted on transgender regret, which it turned out I ALREADY re-posted in February, I found this ridiculous thing. Haven't heard anything about him since, so he likely either kept taking 20 years off until he turned into a zygote, or else he died of old age. Not nice to fool Mother Nature. She'll get you every time. (And does Tinder even exist any more?)

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AUSTIN'S DOG BREAD: The WHOLE Story!

The Latest Improvement

SPRATTS PATENT

MEAT “FIBRINE” VEGETABLE

DOG CAKES
(WITH BEETROOT)
USED IN THE ROYAL KENNEL)

TO OUR CUSTOMERS
When ordering our DOG CAKES, please see that every Cake is stamped “SPRATT’S PATENT”, and a x, or they may be served with a Spurious Imitation, containing neither Meat, Dates, Beetroot, Oatmeal, nor the other costly ingredients that make the excellence of ours. These cheap biscuits, being made of unsound and cheap ingredients, the makers are enabled to offer them to the trader at considerably less than ours. Consequently, the trader has a very cogent reason for pushing them, in the increase of profit he thereby gains.

Austin’s Dog Bread.

Dog Food is whatever goes to the building up of the usages of the animal and enables it to perform its functions of life; the development of the muscular tissues depends upon the quality and nature of the blood, which in turn depends upon the nature and quality of the food. Austin’s Dog Bread as now manufactured is unquestionably the best dog food in the market. Its value as a nutrient, and ite effective development of muscle, can be readily seen after a short trial; the desire of the manufacturers to produce the very best dog food has been attained; we have a combination that is perfect; to insure satisfactory results we use only the best materials in its composition: DO NOT BE MISLED BY OTHERS WHO ARE CONSTANTLY EXPERIMENTING. THE AUSTIN DOG BREAD IS NO EXPERIMENT. It is the same bread, made from the same formula used by Austin & Graves for years: it is fed by kennel clubs and dog owners throughout the U. S. with the best results; look for Austin on every cake. Made only by AUSTIN, YOUNG & CO., BOSTON.

DELIGHT YOUR DOG - with KLIX Dog Candy!

 

This started somewhere, as usual - with a very brief clip from an old TV commercial for something called Klix Dog Candy. It was in the background of something else, a video by that Ira Gallen guy (who is such a pest), so I never did see a complete version of it. But I remember thinking: KLIX DOG CANDY? What a weird name for something that doesn't sound like it would be very good for a dog. 

Then I forgot the whole thing, then today I wondered what it was I had forgotten. So I had to start all over again, googling "vintage dog food ads", until I found something that matched up. I ended up with all these lovely sepia-toned ads for dog food, so I thought I'd present them here. The "dog candy" description must have been changed to "dog treat" at some point, but nevertheless, Klix has since ceased to be. That one snippet from the commercial, featuring a bunch of cartoon dogs dancing or marching, so far eludes me, but I swear to God, IF that commercial still exists, I will FIND it!

Come on, Harry. . .

Published: 18:37 EDT, 3 September 2022 | Updated: 18:39 EDT, 3 September 2022

SARAH VINE: Come on, Harry, kiss and make up... if only for your own sake

By Sarah Vine For The Mail On Sunday

Fair to say the Sussexes have not had the best week. What they presumably thought would be another heart-wrenching exposé of the endless suffering endured at the hands of the evil imperialist oppressor The Firm somewhat backfired.

Most damaging of all was the Duchess’s assertion, during that now-infamous 6,400-word interview, that when she attended the London premiere of The Lion King in 2019 (the same premiere at which, you may remember, Prince Harry was overheard touting his wife’s acting talents to a Disney executive), a member of the South African cast told her that when she married into the Royal Family, they rejoiced in the streets as they did when Nelson Mandela was freed from prison.

This came as something of a surprise to the actor in question, Dr John Kani, who turns out wasn’t even at the premiere.

She had, it transpired, spoken to the show’s South African composer (so hard to tell these theatrical types apart isn’t it, Meghan?), who chatted to her for less than a minute but had no recollection of mentioning Mandela, suggesting she has mis-remembered.

Thus in one fell swoop Meghan exposed herself as someone completely lacking in self-awareness.

Because even if a cast member had said such a thing to her, the idea that she would repeat it to an interviewer only goes to show what a weapons-grade narcissist the woman really is.

The trouble the Duke and Duchess have is that there are only so many useful idiots (Omid Scobie, Oprah Winfrey, James Corden) prepared to swallow their nonsense.

In the end the truth will out and, I suspect, the tragedy for Meghan will be that her truth is not that of an innocent crushed by a vicious Royal cabal, but of an arch-manipulator who thinks everyone’s as gullible as poor, love-struck Harry.

Harry’s ‘truth’, meanwhile (whether he likes it or not), is that not only has he severed ties with his family over what may be little more than a series of imagined slights, he’s also replaced a pivotal role as a key Royal for one as little more than a performing monkey to an organ grinder whose tune, increasingly, is wearing thin.

In other words, he’s exchanged a walk-on part in history for a leading role in a cage.

Question is, what to do about it? The couple’s visit to the UK this week was, in classic Sussex style, seemingly timed to coincide (aka overshadow) the appointment of a new Prime Minister by the Queen.

No doubt they thought they’d be doing us all a favour by gracing us with their presence, surmising that poor old beleaguered Blighty would be thrilled by the prospect of a little Sussex stardust.

But after last week’s performance, they couldn’t be more mistaken. No doubt there will be a few hardcore fans lined up to greet them, but the British public are not stupid. Nor, as it happens, are the Americans, who are also beginning to tire of their antics.

With everything else that’s going on – soaring energy bills, political uncertainty, war in Ukraine – the last thing anyone cares about is a woman in shoes that cost a month’s salary whining about how hard her life is.

Harry and Meghan are at a crossroads. They have a simple choice: either continue on their current trajectory, issuing thinly veiled threats and engaging in an increasingly undignified vendetta against his family.

Or, they can use this opportunity to show they are not just a pair of money-grabbing ingrates, and find a way of extending the hand of friendship.

If not for the sake of those they have harmed with their half-truths and spiteful innuendo, then for the people they really care about: themselves.

Because let’s be honest, their association with the Royal Family is pretty much the only currency they have; it’s the only reason, really, anyone in America gives them the time of day.

And if the Queen were to do what many are urging – and strip them of their titles – they would be left with nothing to flog but their raw talent. Good luck with that.

Cougar snarls, growls, and screams

I hear sounds at night. Man, do I hear them, and half the time I don't even know what they are. The first time I heard barred owls out in the back yard, it sounded like a jungle. Coyotes howling in the distance was bloodcurdling, a series of eerie, shrieking trills and snarling barks. Skunks? I heard a skunk. I saw "something" running back and forth on the street outside, obviously pissed off, and it was emitting a sharp, piercing squeak. I try to identify these weird woods sounds, which kind of explain to me why some idiots are convinced they hear Bigfoot in the forest. But this cougar is NOT something I would ever want to encounter. These sounds made my hair stand on end. 

But the real story is way more weird. This morning, just sitting at my desk, the window partially open to a view of cedar boughs sifting the light and swaying gently in the breeze, I heard. . . something. Or someone?  It was loud and primal enough to be an animal, yet it had a strange sort of human sound to it. Let's see if I can describe it: it was like an adolescent boy barking very loudly, repeatedly, and I could also hear an adult male voice yelling and shouting, as if there was a fight going on. After a while it subsided. But it wasn't the sound of our new neighbors over the back fence, who have two little kids and keep to themselves (plus they're away for Labour Day weekend anyway). How could a PERSON be barking? An autistic person, a stoned person, a brain-injured person? Or was it an animal? The whole thing was highly disturbing, and I spent the morning trying to track down different animal sounds on YouTube, bears, coyotes, even raccoons, to try to get a match. I didn't, though red foxes came close (and we have no red foxes around here).

We are right on the edge of the woods here, and urban wildlife is commonplace, easily finding a niche among accommodating humans who leave just enough garbage out for them to thrive. But I do not know WHAT this was, or WHO this was, and part of me doesn't even want to know. Even rabbits scream in the most bloodcurdling way, and I hear endless squirrel-swearing in the trees which luckily can't be translated. Unless this someone or something returns, I likely won't  know, but I will keep my old camcorder handy just in case.

HEARTBREAKING! Local Cat Never Been Fed in ENTIRE LIFE!

Local Cat Feeding Hoax EXPOSED! Neighbor smells tuna on cat's  breath, confirms reporter's suspicions of fraud.  Cat has lawyered up and awaits trial 

Dancing PUTIN Animation: PUTIN on the RITZ!

Yet another of my "fun" animations. 

HILARIOUS ADS for 1978 Video Games: It's ASTROCADE, the Home Arcade!

Things were simpler then. These prototype video games (which I was lousy at) seemed like some sort of miracle of technology. The bowling game is. . . not remotely similar to bowling, and even the "ball" is kind of diamond-shaped. And I can't see the pins. But this was sold as Fun for the Whole Family, even Grandpa, who sat there in astonishment as this marvel unfolded on the screen. Reminds me a bit of our first VCR (Beta, of course!), when I could not believe the thing would actually record when the TV WASN'T ON! Setting it up seemed to take forever - that timer, my God - and then there was "tracking". There would be this line of what we used to call "snow" along the bottom, and the picture would jump, so you had to wiggle around with the tracking, which sort of worked. Rewinding was a perpetual pain - and the tapes would stick, get caught in the cogs and gears of the machine and have to be pulled out like so much loose ribbon. Renting videos was another matter, and more than once I ended up with a bootleg which had porn recorded at the end. Video days are different now, it's all gone to streaming services (which I never use), though thank GOD we still have YouTube, the gold standard for mediocrity in entertainment.

CHURCHILL FOLLIES!

 

MEGHAN MARKLE EXPLAINS "ARCHETYPES"!

 

“And just this thought of like these archetypes, but it's the kind of stuff you and I talk about so much of these boxes and labels and oh, the things that we both have been called and witnessed each other being called. These human moments behind the scenes, the ones under the surface… they’re everything. Because when we don’t swim in the shallow end, and instead choose to dive into the deep end, that’s when we gain a more nuanced understanding of each other. And speaking of life moments…I was like, can you just tell people what happened? And so much, I think, optically. The focus ends up being on how it looks instead of how it feels. And part of the humanizing and the breaking through of these labels and these archetypes and these boxes that we’re put into is having some understanding on the human moments behind the scenes that people might not have any awareness of and to give each other a break. Because we did– we had to leave our baby.”

BIZARRE Silent Movie (with Creepy Nurse, Canaries, and DEATH!)

The only thing I love more than creepy old ads are bizarre old silent films. I will admit I "borrow" a lot from Pics and Portraits (a. k. a. Sleepcore), but he in turn borrows from other sources. I know there are people who lift his entire content, and one channel even sent him a request to CORRECT his material so he could lift it more accurately! I try not to use more than a couple of minutes. This was so surreal I HAD to "quote" it. I do not know where he finds stuff like this!

🍿DISTURBING! BIZARRE ANIMATED FOOD in '50s DRIVE-IN AD

 

I live for these things.

Virgil Thomson: The Plow that Broke the Plains

Just something I love, which I haven't heard for a very long time. Stumbled on it again while watching a harrowing documentary on the Dust Bowl of the 1930s. Virgil Thomson sounds a lot like Copland here (a composer known to appropriate "cowboy music" into his highly-symphonic works), but when the banjo breaks in you know you're squarely in the middle of Americana. I first heard this music eons ago on an outdoorsie-type TV show on CBC called Klahanie.  I had to make a little visual to go with this! 

The Troll Doll Channel: CURSE OF THE JUJU DOLL!

One of my more exotic custom trolls, from Lucretia's Lair. Does he have magical powers? Well, what do you think?

CLOWN NIGHTMARE: Herky-jerky Circus Puppets!

It's hard to imagine that, back in the day, no one thought clowns were the least bit scary - not even Clarabell, the clown that haunted my dreams on Howdy Doody. In retrospect, they're all pretty grotesque. Maybe it was John Wayne Gacy who spoiled it for everyone? But Pennywise didn't help. Meantime, kids paid good money for bits of paper hanging from a string.

The Troll Doll Channel: GRUMPY CHORUS sings "DREAM, DREAM, DREAM"

What can I say? I never knew my trolls could sing like this. Wakes me up in the middle of the night. I LOVE one of the comments a person left: "Jesus Christ". Oh yeah! 

Hypocrisy like you've never seen. . . (and hope to never see again!)

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are 'trying to create an alternative woke royal family' after the Duchess feels 'enormous bitterness' that she wasn't able to 'modernise' the Firm, claims royal biographer Angela Levin

• Royal author Angela Levin commented on the Sussexes upcoming visit to the UK
• Claimed Harry and Meghan are 'trying to create an alternative, woke royal family'
• Ms Levin noted the 'grandeur and pomp that surrounds them' and use of titles

By Jessica Green For Mailonline

Published: 05:58 EDT, 17 August 2022 | Updated: 11:59 EDT, 17 August 2022 

Angela Levin, a royal commentator and author of several biographies about senior members of the Royal Family, told FEMAIL that the Duchess of Sussex, 41, feels 'enormous bitterness' that she wasn’t able to 'modernise' the Firm.

It comes after Harry, 37, and Meghan announced via their spokesman their return to the UK this September to visit two charities, while also heading to Germany for an event to commemorate a year until the Invictus Games in Dusseldorf.

Commenting on the news, Ms Levin claimed the couple, who now live in California with their two children, Archie and Lilibet, after stepping down as working members of the royal family, 'are very determined to show that their way is the best way'.

'When they went to America, when they went to the United Nations, and not just as somebody who's interested and curious and one of us but with good credentials. They are people who are very determined to show that their way is the best way.

'And I think Meghan, who doesn't like losing, she likes to win, feels enormous bitterness and resentment towards the Royal Family for not letting her modernize the Royal Family.'

The royal biographer continued: 'I may be wrong, I hope so, but the impression is that they don't want to be royals yet they're hanging on to their titles very, very tightly.

'When Meghan goes anywhere, she always uses her royal title. Now, why do that if you don't actually like the royal family and you wanted to get shot of them?

'So that's why I think there's a big plot and a plan to show how awful the [Royal Family] are. And I think that in Prince Harry's books, and in that terrible interview with Oprah Winfrey, was trying to smash the Royal Family and the monarchy down.'

Elsewhere, Ms Levin claimed Prince William, 40, will want to avoid Harry until he's had a chance to read his younger brother's memoir

Royal expert Richard Fitzwilliams told FEMAIL that the rift between the Cambridges and the Sussexes is 'very deep', meaning a reunion between the couples in the UK 'probably won't' happen.

Ms Levin said Prince William and Kate, 40, are likely to be waiting to see what Harry says in his upcoming memoir, set to be released this winter, before healing any rift.

'[The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge] are extremely busy at the moment,' said the royal author. 'They're moving home, need to settle their children into new schools. They're very busy taking on so many more engagements for the Queen.

'And I don't know whether William would like to make amends with Harry. I think it's very difficult and certainly not before his memoir comes out because we don't know what he's going to say.

'[Harry's] been very unkind and cruel so far. We have to wait to see what he does and maybe they won't want to see them until all that's out in the open and they know what he says.'

Mr Fitzwilliams also suggested a reunion in the UK in September is unlikely to happen, explaining: 'I suspect that that rift is very deep, the reports are that they probably won't.'

On September 5 the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will travel to Manchester for the One Young World Summit, which brings together young leaders from more than 190 countries. Meghan will give the keynote address at the opening ceremony.

The couple will then head to Germany for an event to commemorate a year until the Invictus Games in Dusseldorf on September 6, before returning to the UK for the WellChild Awards in London on September 8 where Prince Harry will deliver a speech.

It is the first time the couple will be in the UK since the Jubilee celebrations in June, when they kept a low profile. They also visited in April, when they secretly met with Charles and the Queen on their way to the Netherlands.

Brothers Prince William and Prince Harry have not spoken face-to-face since they unveiled a statue of their late mother, Diana, Princess of Wales last summer.

The Duke of Cambridge and his family are moving from Kensington Palace to Adelaide Cottage, just a ten-minute walk from Windsor Castle, later this month.

If the Sussexes stay at their home, Frogmore Cottage, they will only be a short five-minute walk from the Cambridges, who will be just 800m away when they relocate to Adelaide in the next few weeks.

It will be the first time the two couples have been neighbours since Prince Harry and Meghan moved out of Kensington Palace in 2019.

But a source reportedly said the Sussexes’s visit will be focused on 'supporting several charities close to their hearts', and they have no plans to see the Cambridges.

Editor of Majesty Magazine, Ingrid Seward, told the Sun: 'I don't think they would bump into one another unless it was pre-arranged.

'I suppose one could go round with some flowers as a peace offering, but remember what happened last time,' referring to claims that Meghan threw flowers from Kate in the bin after a row over bridesmaids dresses before Harry and Meghan tied the knot in 2018.

It is thought unlikely the couple will bring their children Archie, three, and Lilibet, 14 months. Harry began legal action against the Government when he was told he would no longer be given the ‘same degree’ of protection here after stepping back from royal life in 2020.

Buckingham Palace declined to comment. But a source told The Daily Telegraph that the visit would come during a busy week with ‘lots of moving parts’. The couple’s spokesman said: ‘Prince Harry and Meghan are delighted to visit with several charities close to their hearts in early September.’

The UK visit comes just weeks ahead of Prince Harry's expected book launch in October, written by Pulitzer prize-winning ghostwriter JR Moehringer, which promises 'to reveal a first-hand account of his life' which is 'accurate and wholly truthful'.

The couple are likely to want to spend time with the Queen after enjoying 'barely 15 minutes' with her during the Platinum Jubilee celebrations this summer, according to royal watchers.

Mr Fitzwilliams suggested a meeting with the monarch would be more likely to take place in London or Windsor, either of which are close to the Cambridges, located in Kensington Palace.

He said: 'It would only make sense for them to see her when she is at Windsor and when they are based at Frogmore, as they could only spend a very little time with her during the Platinum Jubilee.

'If she does come down as anticipated, she may receive the new Prime Minister at Windsor or at Buckingham Palace. There would also be time for her and the Sussexes to discuss the future, which hopefully will be more constructive than the recent past.

'They also must be aware that some form of reconciliation in the Platinum Jubilee year would surely be beneficial for the image they want as philanthropists.'

ROYAL FOLLIES: This is just a tiny sampling of over 5,000 comments on the Daily Mail website. Just dip in anywhere, the water's fine!

ChicagoRoxie, Chicago, United States, moments ago

Hey everyone: don't give these two woke jokes a dime. They set up their charities in Delaware. That means they can KEEP up to 95% of the donations. The FBI needs to investigate these two.

Wilson57, Leona, United States, moments ago

She is a joke. We know very well who runs that show. They need to go away like yesterday.

Clara7, elsewhere, United Kingdom, moments ago

CNN did an expose about the Oprah debacle and Markle insisted they remove it...they did! and she wanted the reporter punished just like Piers Morgan. FREE SPEECH AMERICA! Markle is walking all over your 1st Amendment. Why does a main American News outlet bow to the wife of a dim British Prince??? they told proven lies!

Bowrap, Bournemouth, United Kingdom, moments ago

Just PO!

Well Read, Connecticut, United States, moments ago

She knows if they're stripped of their titles she will be a nobody again. She was a nobody as far as Hollywood was concerned. She's not a good actress. She had to do something to return to Hollywood in a blaze of glory. Revenge NY Tom Bowers is an excellent book that shows Mehgan, and Harry, as they really are.

falconflight, fort worth, United States, moments ago

Bring back the Tudors!

falconflight, fort worth, United States, moments ago

Degeneracy in dying societies almost always starts at the 'top.'

ThoughtsOfACommonMan, Reading, United Kingdom, moments ago

Her next task will be to modernise the USA Constitution.

Clara7, elsewhere, United Kingdom, moments ago

She already is she shut up CNN about her lies on Oprah, she's in control.

FlatWornOut, Champaign, United States, moments ago

Wasted space, both of them. Her ego is so big its a wonder her hat fits

Stanley Man, Novum Caput Mundi, United Kingdom, moments ago

I'm not a fan of the Sussexes, yet now it seems that what is dragging the RF down is the negative sensationalist reporting/commenting on them. Like this book. And it's pure conjecture, just to stir up the vitriol. Just forget about them already.

Snowdog88, Itscoldhere, Antarctica, moments ago

Should start on herself first - give up the f@ke nose and the straightened hair for a start

A Fellow, of infinite jest, Ireland, moments ago

That "enormous bitterness" eating away at you, Meghan? How sad never mind just call us if you need us.

Gran from oz, NSW, Australia, moments ago

This couple live in their own alternative universe from the rest of us. What else would you expect from such a pair of self absorbed narcissists

Prime-Time, NW, United States, 5 minutes ago

I have found an island for these two to buy, It is in the Carribean - Iguana Island - it cheap according to an MSN article. They can buy it and build their castle to the king and queen of Iguana Island - it is perfect1

Jake Butler, London, United Kingdom, 6 minutes ago

As soon as the Queen had gone William should strip Harry and Meghan of their royal titles. If they dont live in the UK and they dont fulfill their full royal duties then they dont have the right to be royals.

MadgeTheManicurist, St Paul, United States, 6 minutes ago

Perhaps they are, but they are not making a success of it. Woke is out of favor with the public and they are having to pay good money to be placed on speaker's lists. No one wants to listen to their crap.

Purple Coneflower, Around and About, United States, 6 minutes ago

Journalists and the internet at large need to just stop with using woke for everything. They have overused it so much it has ceased to have any meaning, other than as bait to dangle when someone wants to rile people up. Crack open a thesaurus and try out some other adjectives; descriptive words that take a few brain cells to come up with and actually accurately paint a picture of the person or thing they are speaking/writing about.

A Fellow, of infinite jest, Ireland, 6 minutes ago

How many alternative families has this divorcee tried so far?

NYC common sense, New York, United States, 7 minutes ago

Who does she think she is??? First what business does a American have to "modernize" the monarchy??

TOMORROW_MORNING, JACKSON HOLE WYOMING, United States, 7 minutes ago

Theyve chopped the wrong head in 1536.

Oppositeofsnowflake, Lancashire, United Kingdom, 7 minutes ago

She's a joke. She's making a laughing stock of her little sect

Grumpy Tinkerbell, Scotland, United Kingdom, 8 minutes ago

Someone please tel the malignant markles the Americans fought a war to get rid of the BRF. Apart from the sycophants noone in the US gives a damn.

Snowdog88, Itscoldhere, Antarctica, 10 minutes ago

GIANT EGO, BIG on ambition, low on sensitivity and self awareness ..: what can go wrong ?

A Fellow, of infinite jest, Ireland, 11 minutes ago

She feels "enormous bitterness" because her little ruse has been laid bare for the whole world to mock. Using the halfwit as a platform for your globetrotting champagne socialism didn't quite work out the way you were expecting, did it Meghan? How sad never mind there's always a captive audience for that kind of BS in California.

MadgeTheManicurist, St Paul, United States, 5 minutes ago

They are not popular in California, either.

Nixliberalis, Newtown, United States, 11 minutes ago

If she creates an alternative woke monarchy (it won't work) it will be time to create an alternative non-woke Oliver Cromwell to scuttle such a creation. That would be the only time they would make sense. 

🍅Is this a TIME MACHINE? The amazing REVERSE Veg-O-Matic!🥕

The same, only backwards.

😳1980s Anti-Computer FANATIC goes COMPLETELY INSANE!

I am still trying to figure out WHO this guy is and WHY he is so upset. In the olden days, we would have called him a Luddite, anyone who was "against progress" or against the crushing uniformity of the Machine Age. But this guy! He not only gets upset about computer technology - he becomes HYSTERICAL, ranting and almost weeping from grief and despair! Or something like that. Maybe he just hadn't figured out computers yet. As it turned out, NOBODY had to figure out ANYTHING, so all my own worst fears never came true. Technology was dumbed down and dumbed down until there was nothing much to learn any more. No one saw THAT coming, I'll tell you!

💥SWARMED! Nasty blackbirds on Burnaby Lake💥

I could do worse than to be swarmed with blackbirds. The pickings have been extremely lean this summer, with maybe 1/10 of the usual number of flocks or even singles or pairs. There has been a modest return in a couple of places. The back yard, replete with food and watering stations, attracts only a sprinkle throughout the day. I don't know what has happened. There has been a serious outbreak of avian flu, which may well be the COVID of the bird world. So I try to make do with what I have. This video is from a couple of months ago, but things are even more sparse now, with no blackbirds flying down at all last time we were there. This comes in a regular, consistent pattern every year, and at this moment the adults are still feeding the juveniles, which are well out of the nest and mostly capable of feeding themselves. So I'll have to wait for the next feeding cycle. We also get a "massing of the blackbirds" every single year, with dozens and dozens of them hiding in the bushes, barely visible, making an incredible racket. THIS happens every year, too. Birds think with a single mind, but right now their mind seems to be elsewhere.