Thursday, May 30, 2013

Rock, Liz, and other oddments




Use-ta be, you had a junk drawer, or a bunch of old photos rattling around in a shoe box. They could be from any era, but usually all mixed up. Now we have files, but they are no less mysterious.




For obvious reasons, or reasons which should-all be obvious to you-all by now (just look up, stupid!), many of my junk-drawer/catchall photos are of Harold Lloyd. These have a magic that is surreal and dreamlike, in and of another era. What was it like to be there "in the flesh"?




A few aren't Harold. This must have been scanned out of a book. It's Bob Dylan and his first great love, Suze Rotolo, about whom he wrote "Girl from the North Country", "Boots of Spanish Leather" and "Ballad in Plain D". They seem to be made of pure mist. Hard to believe the dessicated old leather saddle that is Dylan ever looked like this.






A few blank greeting cards popped up. Since they were too pretty to send, I kept them.



To think you could once get a FREE (While They Last) Harold Lloyd doll at the Piggly Wiggly! 




These two, later to marry forever, remind me of salt 'n pepper. They just belong together. Both have a surreal, doll-like quality about them.




And speaking of misty surrealism. . . 




Where did I GET these things?



A splendid Wesley Dennis painting of Misty of Chincoteague (who was a real pony!)




Harold meets the Woman at the Well.




This charming French poster for an early Lloyd film (called, I think, I Do) is notable for the bracketed word after his name: "Lui", his nickname in Europe, loosely translated as "him" (you know who I mean, THAT guy!). Imagine such ready identification, closer than Chaplin.




Compare and contrast! I just found this a minute ago and had to include it. What's that strange thing behind Harold, an oven or something? Couldn't be a TV. Note how they left it out of the poster, but included his right hand which was out of sight in the photo (due to his prosthetic glove, which always looked sort of weird).




D'yall need to have this one explained to you?

Didn't think so.

Everybody says don't (Harold Lloyd-style)




Everybody says don't
Everybody says don't
Everybody says don't, it isn't right,
Don't, it isn't nice.




Everybody says don't
Everybody says don't
Everybody says don't walk on the grass,
Don't disturb the peace,
Don't skate on the ice.



Well I say do, I say,
Walk on the grass, it was meant to feel.
I say, sail, 
Tilt at the windmill
And if you fail you fail.




Everybody says don't
Everybody says don't
Everybody says don't get out of line
When they say that then, maybe it's a sign
Nine times out of ten,
Baby you're doing just fine.




Make just a ripple, come on be brave
This time a ripple, next time a wave
Sometimes you have to start small,
Climbing the tiniest wall -
Maybe you're going to fall
But it is better than not starting at all.




Everybody says no, stop,
Mustn't rock the boat, mustn't touch a thing




Everybody says don't
Everybody says wait
Everybody says can't fight city hall
Can't upset the cart
Can't laugh at the King.




Well, I say do, I say,
Laugh at the King, or he'll make you cry
Lose your poise
Fall if you have to, but come on, make a noise!





Yes!
Everybody says don't
Everybody says can't





Everybody says wait around for miracles
That's the way the world is made





I insist on miracles
If you do them, miracles, nothing to them
I say don't...


Don't be afraid!




Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Ford and Duffy, Ford and Duffy





PREFACE. For those of you who aren't Canadian. . .

GOOD FOR YOU!





Cuz then you don't have to hear about 
these two hulking politicians
who are always up to no good. 




Do they live in a parallel universe
where fat guys are always in trouble?

Makes me think I'm seeing double. . . 









INTRO. 


Look over yonder! What do you see?

These two could almost be brothers.
But they seem to be lacking in brotherly love -
The truth is, they're both just mothers. 

(Do I hear a song coming on?)










Ford and Duffy, Ford and Duffy
When they lie to us they make us huffy,




Duff’s like Rob’s twin brother:
You can’t have one without the other





Ford and Duffy, large and fluffy
Now the voters have all had enough, see!











Always in the papers
We're sick to death of all their capers







Duff has his hand in the cookie jar,
And Ford puffs away on his pipe





No scale can weigh theft and arrogance,
It's such a load of tripe!






Don't you know your freedom's ending,
What's that shadow that you see descending?








It’s the law’s big hammer -
You’ll soon be living in the slammer!



Tuesday, May 28, 2013

WTFord?: Rob Ford Follies




 Rob Ford. A man of vision.




Athlete.




Heavyweight.




Athlete (again).




Champion!

Rob Ford: THE LOST VIDEO




Toronto Mayor Rob Ford appeared at a recent press conference to dispell the vicious, untrue, really really bad rumors swirling around his mayorship.

Among other things, Ford stated, "I do not use crack cocaine, nor am I an addict of crack cocaine. I did not use crack cocaine this morning. I did not use crack cocaine this afternoon. Nor do I intend to use crack cocaine during this press conference."




"I do not sell pot to middle school students. I did not sell pot to middle school students this morning, I did not sell pot to middle school students this afternoon, and I will not sell pot to middle school students during this press conference."




"I will make no comment on a video (which may or may not exist) depicting my use of a crack pipe (which may or may not exist) exposing a drug dependency (which may or may not exist) that will likely end my career (which may or may not exist)."