Mommy was always so cross

Ambition Pills FOR WEAK AND NERVOUS MEN

For a long time we have hesitated to advertise Ambition Pills, fearing that this remedy might be classed with the many fraudulent preparations in the market. 

A single trial will convince any sufferer that we have A POSITIVE CURE for Impotency, Sleeplessness, Enlarged Veins and Nervous Debility, which includes troublesome dreams, evil forebodings, losses, despondency and aversion to society, caused by overwork or other excesses; 

Especially recommended in cases of long standing and where other remedies have failed. Only reputable druggists can secure agencies. For a short time only, the price will be $1.00 per box or six boxes (with guarantee) for $5.00 - Price will soon be doubled. 

Circular Free. Address: Halsid Drug Co., Cleveland, O.

Sold by H. W. Mordhurst, 74 Calhoun Street, Fort Wayne, Ind.

Perhaps she's ill . . . perhaps she's only "nervous"

"NERVES" Hasten the Coming of "CROWS FEET"

Nervous Women are the First to Lose their Youth and Charm

Leading beauty experts agree that overstrained "NERVES" do more to bring the lines of age to the face and ruin a woman's beauty and complexion than any other cause. When your "NERVES" get beyond control, your beauty vanishes - charm fades - and "crow's feet" and other age lines creep into your face. Headaches, Sleeplessness, Neuralgia, Dyspepsia and similar troubles are frequently caused by overstrained nerves. Any woman who is nervous, blue or irritable soon loses her attractiveness and begins to look old. Don't neglect your "NERVES" if you want to keep your youth and charm. Whenever you feel nervous - 

Quiet Your Nerves This Delightful Way

Just drop a Dr. Miles Effervescent NERVINE tablet into a glass of water and as it bubbles up like sparkling spring water - drink it. See how promptly it soothes and calms you. You'll like the pleasant, refreshing, relief, this delightful drink gives. Get a large package of Dr. Miles' Effervescent NERVINE Tablets at any drug store for $1.00. If they do not give you satisfactory relief, go to the druggist and get your dollar back.

Perhaps she’s ILL. . . Perhaps she’s only NERVOUS

After childbirth, many years ago, I was very nervous and could not sleep nights. My husband got me a bottle of Dr. Miles Nervine. I took one dose and went to sleep. When I woke up next morning, I felt much better. I continued to take nervine until I felt as well as ever.  Mrs. Bedfell

The night you dread re those nights when you are free from pain yet cannot sleep. You toss and tumble; minutes seem like hours; you brood over real or fancied mistakes; instead of a delightful drowsy feeling, each minute finds you more “keyed-up” and wakeful. Next day you are dull and restless. Your eyes burn and your head aches.

Try Dr. Miles Nervine when you are Restless or Cranky, when you can’t Sleep, or have Nervous Indigestion or Nervous Headache.

Get Dr. Miles Nervine at any drug store.

Small package – 25 cents

Large package - $1.00

Dr. Miles Nervine

Liquid or Effervescent Tablets

HE USED TO THROW DISHES AT HIS NURSE

During four months in the hospital, I became so nervous and irritable that I often threw dishes at the Nurse.

He is not nearly so irritable since he started to use DR. MILES NERVINE. Outbursts of temper are, more often than not, caused by "NERVES". The nervous man or woman is a nuisance, not only to himself, but to all with whom he comes in contact.

Tense nerves cause - 

Sleeplessness, Nervous Irritability, Nervous Headache, Nervous Indigestion.

You can't do effective work when you are nervous. You can't enjoy yourself and you are no addition to a party.

DR. MILES NERVINE (Liquid  or Effervescent Tablets) is not habit-forming and does not depress the heart.

Why don't you try it? Your money will be refunded if you are not entirely satisfied with the results.

DR. MILES NERVINE

The Saga of Polly: from FAT to FABULOUS!

By popular demand: THE MUNSINGWEAR MEN!

Ye-e-e-e-e-s, it's those crazy old guys, the Lotharios of the locker room, the Munsingwear Men! Here we provide you with more than you ever wanted of those unforgettable Munsingwear Moments, as these seemingly straight guys act about as gay as men ever did in history. I'd transcribe the dialogue on these, but I'm afraid you're on your own. Just read it real fast. The first gif is the trimmed version of the ads, the second one complete and unadulterated. (Fit That Lasts!) Sorry, it's the best I can do.

BE A BOY AT SIXTY!

BE A BOY AT SIXTY

STOP grunting and complaining about pains in your back, stiffness in your shoulders and legs, Rheumatism, and other symptoms of old age. Don't drag yourself around as though you had one foot in the grave and the other in the hospital. Get some vim into you. Drive out your pains and aches and restore your vitality by infusing your body with life-giving electricity. 

Why are you slowing up? Because your vitality is lessening, the "steam supply" is lacking. There is not that same generation of electrical heat produced by the combustion of food stuffs in the stomach that you enjoyed when you were thirty. You've got the constitution, but not the power to back it up. You're like a piece of machinery with the steam run low. You wouldn't expect to increase power by simply giving the machinery oil. You'd repair the fault - renew the steam supply. You must do the same with your body. Increase the power, the vitality, by pumping a stream of electricity into your body daily. You can't get that from drugs - they only weaken.

Apply the "Ajax" Battery for an hour while resting, either at night or in the morning; turn on the glowing current of electrical fire, and your nerves and vitals are fed with new power. The "Ajax" Battery will build up your strength, limber up your joints, cure your pains, your stomach, kidney, liver, bowel or bladder troubles; make you immune from weakness. You'll feel like a new man in ten days.

OUR FREE BOOK tells all about the "Ajax" Battery, how it cures and what it costs. It has already enabled thousands to regain perfect health, and will do so for you. If you cannot call for a free test at the office, write for the book at once. It is free, in a plain, sealed envelope.

THE BRITISH ELECTRIC INSTITUTE
(Dept. 19), 25, Holborn Viaduct, London, E. C. 

"They are not injurious": ten good reasons to smoke cocaine!

This ad has such sheer physical beauty that I don't want to add anything to it. At all. Except to say, if these suckers were around today, I wouldn't trust myself NOT to smoke them.They sound so fxxing GOOD, and besides, have many health benefits that I could use right now. But I won't, because at some point society became Enlightened, and smoking anything but pot (which you are now REQUIRED to smoke) became a very bad thing. So, no more Cocarettes. Which, by the way, is the best name of any product ever made in the history of humanity. 

Weird mystery! In the picture, it looks as if the smoke is coming out of the girl's ear, or perhaps even a hole in her neck. Could it be so? Just portraying a girl smoking was daring in those days. But this! 

And the more I look at it, the more this seems like a 12-year-old. Get 'em hooked early, I always say.

The greatest flesh producer of the age

I have nothing to say about this, except that if this pill were available now and did the OPPOSITE of what it was supposed to do, it would be selling millions, if not billions of bottles online. There must have been a lot of skinny people back in the days of patent medicine. Being beefy (forgive the pun) and filled-out was the desirable thing, perhaps to dispel the horror of an untreatable, wasting sickness like cancer or tuberculosis. Then you'd at least have "flesh" to live on. 
"Rounds out the figure and gives strength to the whole system" is the giveaway.

Puttin' on the Ritz: animation

This was originally a very strange old Ritz cracker ad from the '60s, and now it is an even stranger animation. The fact that it used only a few frames was helpful to me. This was very cheap animation originally, but in its own way, stylish. The animation for 1950s commercials was even more ludicrously simple, almost a series of still pictures like Clutch Cargo. Things had evolved by the '60s, but not very much! In this scenario, the husband flips out and jumps up in the air because they are all out of Ritz crackers, and the wife (of course) comes to the rescue. In this case, he REALLY flips out! 

Do you feel bad yet? Ads specifically designed to humiliate women

Mommy was Always SO Cross

- Polly, pull up your sock!   And stop bothering Aunt Sara, or I'll spank you!

- Polly wasn't bothering me, Janet

- I'm sorry, Sara. . . I'm just so uncomfortable all the time, it makes me cross

- Janet, I'm no doctor but this bathroom paper of yours seems to me a good reason for all your        discomfort. It's dreadful! Look. . . I'll hold it up to the light here. What do you see?

- Good gracious, Sara! It looks like splinters and dirty specks!

- Just compare it with this soft-weve Waldorf. I always carry some in my purse

- What a difference! So clean and smooth. More like soft cloth!

TWO WEEKS LATER

- Hello, Polly! How are you Janet?

- Thanks to you and that wonderful soft-weve Waldorf, I feel just fine.

- Aunt Sara, Mommy isn't cross any more.

Make the "Light Test" today - and get to know the greater comfort of "Soft-Weve" WALDORF 5 cents

"Darling, I love you, but your hair stinks. Goodbye forever"

"A bottle of Lysol saved my marriage. And Henry just loves the taste!"

When Joan's underwear began to talk

                                          Red and smeary, eh?

NOW we know why he avoids her embrace. He longs for the tangy taste of Lysol!

The sworn enemy of romance! A stumbling block in the path to success.

Pull yourself together, girl!

Fred left something on the doorknob.

SHE was a ONE-DATE Girl

Most of her engagements were "blind" dates. Later, these men found excuses when her name was brought up. Somehow, she never seemed to click.

They thought she was dull, when really she was constantly tired. She had a good figure, and a naturally lovely skin. But pimples marred its surface. Her eyes lacked the liveliness of a girl in good health. So night after night, she sat by the phone and waited for calls that never came. 

She might have been such a different girl if she had only known the importance of regular habits, and the harm that common constipation can do. This condition may cause headaches and loss of appetite. Wrinkles and pimples may appear. Energy is sapped. Personality becomes flat. 

Common constipation is generally caused by lack of "bulk" in meals. Scientific tests show that Kellogg's ALL-BRAN is a fine source of gently acting "bulk". ALL-BRAN also furnishes vitamin B and iron.

Serve as a cereal, or cook into muffins, breads, waffles, etc. Two tablespoons daily are usually sufficient. Isn't it better to enjoy this natural food than to take pills and drugs - so often harmful?

Kellogg's ALL-BRAN corrects only common constipation, makes no claim to be a "cure-all". But it has proved effective in so many thousands of cases that you should certainly give it a trial. Sold by all grocers. Made by Kellogg in Battle Creek, Mich.

"So I stuck it in my nose"

After a year with Henry, it's pretty old.

Hates her with makeup, hates her WITHOUT makeup.

Mary can't even get the jell-o "salad" right.