Do you know what I
shit-hate these days?
Stupid people. Or maybe I
always have.
We had a nice time at the
Canada Day celebrations yesterday at Coquitlam Town Centre Park
Then as we were walking
along, just walking along in complete innocence, a woman, low to the ground and
of indeterminate age, literally ran at us and pressed a booklet into my hands.
“This is a book that’s
very helpful for seniors with issues,” she chirped.
I stopped in my tracks.
“Give it to him,”
I said, pointing to my very grey, very-much-older husband.
“Oh, that’s what they all
say,” she twittered. “I won’t admit to my age either, sweetie.”
My mouth opened and Bill tugged
me onwards, sensing a coming storm. “Thanks a LOT ,” I yelled back at her as we walked away. “Oh, don’t mention it,”
the woman tweeted, obviously delighted she had snagged another victim.
I mean, Jesus!
She RUNS up to people
whom she has decided are “old”. Old enough to qualify as “seniors”. This
includes women. Last time I checked, most women are not thrilled and delighted
to state their age if they’re, say, over 50. Not that it’s a bad thing, but
let’s not jump the gun.
We all sort of hope we
look at least a few years younger than our chronological age. I thought this
was nearly universal. Isn’t it? If not, when did it change? (If you think this is the first time seniors' propaganda has been pressed on me, guess again.)
And to have someone RUN
at you because you look like a suitable pigeon for a book on “seniors' issues” is
atrocious. “Oh, look, some fossils walking along! I’d better catch them before
they fall over.”
My husband thought I was
overreacting and said (as I dumped the goddamned ripped-up booklet into the
garbage: I glanced at it and it said, among other things, “Where to meet seniors”, so it was probably
publicity for a disguised escort service), “It was because of me.”
Well, maybe it WAS
because of him. He’s greyer than me, mostly because I color my hair. But
please, no running after prey, especially not older prey! They might not be too
thrilled to be recruited for the ranks of the over-65, particularly if they are a good many
years younger.
And don’t tell me,
as I am always condescendingly told, “Oh, don't feel bad. 'Senior' begins at 40”. That’s a load of
bullshit and you know it. Would a 40-year-old woman, still deluding herself
that she can have another baby like all those Hollywood stars, welcome a booklet on how to pick up a doddering old sugar daddy?
Oh, and. This is even
worse. It’s those people who miss irony, and think YOU’RE dumb.
I had a recent attack of
this on Facebook. Somebody named a scientific principle, one often quoted on
The Big Bang Theory (which is my religion), and I riffed on it in an ironic
manner. The person posted a “now, now,
now, that’s not what it means at all” sort of reply, telling me exactly
what the principle was and why I had gone so wrong in misinterpreting it.
Why are people so thick?
Why do they always turn it around so that ***I*** am the stupid and/or ignorant
one, and that I need to be immediately set straight? Whoever these people are,
and most of them wear penises to work every day, they do not “get” irony, have
perhaps never heard of it, and take absolutely everything literally.
In other words. . . they
are men.
It’s not too nice when a
joke falls flat, but when the other person has no idea it IS a joke and
corrects you for your misinformation, it’s worse than annoying and leaves you
with an insulted, put-down, even pitied feeling. Meantime you know you are
skating rings around this dullard in wordplay skills and subtlety, not to
mention basic intelligence.
But who wins in the
ignoramus sweepstakes? Who comes out looking far more clever and erudite? Could it be me? Are you out of your freaking
MIND? Never mind that I’m invariably right, because being right has nothing to
do with it. It's all about power and putting so-called "ignorant" people (usually women, assumed to be about as smart as Kha Kha Kardashian - oops, her name is Khloe - I'm so sorry - I got it wrong!) in their place.
Do I think I am smarter
than other people (a sin worse than murder)? I don’t just think it, I KNOW it, and Facebook proves it to me every
blessed, persecuted day of my life. (Oh, and. This deserves a post of its own, but I will mention it here. Someone will refer to something atrocious, destructive, and categorically WRONG. Then someone else will say, "Oh, it's always been like that." Some people, fancying themselves to be historians because they watch the History Channel, will say, "People have done that since the Etruscans in the year 14 billion B. C." The fact that "we've been doing this for a long time" is supposed to end the discussion. Suddenly, now the most heinous behaviour is OK and acceptable because we've been doing it forever! Make sense?
Add to this one another ludicrous fallacy. I call it "men do this too!". Anything men do automatically justifies whatever negative, weak or shameful thing women are doing. It renders their sins more acceptable, though only a small percentage of this filters through to women. But at least they aren't seen as the snivelling bitches they were before. . . because after all, "men cry at the movies too".)
Add to this one another ludicrous fallacy. I call it "men do this too!". Anything men do automatically justifies whatever negative, weak or shameful thing women are doing. It renders their sins more acceptable, though only a small percentage of this filters through to women. But at least they aren't seen as the snivelling bitches they were before. . . because after all, "men cry at the movies too".)
(I have to confess something really awful. I think that picture is really Khim Kardashian - or is that Kim - oh, will someone please set me straight here? And my much smarter boy friend just told me that the Etruscans didn't really live in 14 billion B. C. because the theme song of The Big Bang Theory says that that was when the universe was created. Why do I bother keeping a blog at all? I'm just a silly little girl.)
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