Creepy Easter bunnies!

I wasn't gonna do it. No, I mean I REALLY wasn't gonna do it - that thing I do every year, where I find photos of really hideous, creepy, scary Easter bunnies and post them here. As a matter of fact, I've barely thought of Easter at all this year - that wonderful time of violent death and bloody crufixion and Cadbury cream eggs.

Then somebody asked me, "So what are you guys doing for Easter?"

I thought: you mean we have to DO something? I thought Easter was a holiday, and the whole purpose of a holiday was to do nothing.

Then I told myself: no, Margaret, you will NOT make a photo montage of Easter bunnies in hideous costumes with screaming little kids attempting to flee from them. It's sadistic, isn't it? - because these little kids aren't just upset or uncomfortable. They are TERRIFIED. They fear for their lives. They hold their arms out begging for rescue, while their parents. . . their parents take pictures.

These montages at least explain WHY kids cry like that. I can't say as I blame them at all.

The bunny from hell: an Easter tradition

At this time of year, you start seeing pictures of Easter bunnies so horrific, they make tawdry and terrifying Santas look downright festive.

It's hard for me to believe that this bunny suit was ever designed to be anything but horrible and frightening. This little girl has unusual composure while being forced to sit on the creature's lap. Most of the kids pictured here are screaming for their lives.

This is a good example of the time-honored custom of forcing small children to sit on the lap of, not just a total stranger (and haven't all kids been taught not to talk to strangers? How about sitting on their sweaty, motheaten knee?), but a hideous mythical creature they used to think was cute, fluffy and benevolent. Nothing  good could come from this pointy-eared bastard.

This is the Easter Cat. At least it looks like one. Whoever made the bunny suit kind of went wide of accuracy. The lifeless eyes and sagging body are already causing this little girl to whimper. She probably can't wait to get out of there.

I don't like the posture, here. I don't like way the bunny leans in with that vulpine leer. I don't like the fact that its head, which is supposed to be fluffy, seems to be carved out of  solid wood. I also don't like the fact that it looks as if the mouth opens and shuts.

This is a bad bunny, just bad. The little girl has mustered a smile, but is waiting to flee as soon as he gets his wretched paws off her. Dye this costume red, and it would make a pretty good Satan.

There's a web site called Cats that Look Like Hitler, but here I am proposing a web site called Easter Bunnies from the Third Reich. The large, black-rimmed holes with human eyes staring out of them are particularly menacing, and the moustache. . . that IS a moustache, isn't it? And why are the ears at right angles to the head? This isn't even a real costume, as the guy is slouching around in a cardigan and slacks, with only a hideous head and fur mitts to complete the ensemble. How Goebbels would have loved it.

I call this one the Abilify Bunny. His antidepressant has stopped working and he doesn't have the energy to go to his doctor. One of those little clouds is following him around, like in those ads.

This one I call the WTF??? Bunny. What's the deal with the face? Why is it jutting out of the guy's head? What is that thing in his hand? Is it a carrot or a Subway sandwich? You have to wonder who designs and sews these things. It looks like they may have chopped the head off a big plastic display bunny and welded it on.

 I call this the Action Shot. Did you think you were getting away from me, Little Girl? Think again! NO ONE escapes the Easter Bunny from Hell! You can run, but you can't hide!

Space alien bunny. Beam me up. Quick.

THE EGG HUNT FROM HELL: More creepy-looking, terrifying Easter bunnies!

(I just keep finding more! Take a look! AIEEEEEEEE!!)

Mildew J. Bunny.

Who makes these costumes, and should it be legal?

Wanted for holding up liquor stores.

"Run, little girl! Run for your life!"

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Easter terror: bunnies from hell

It wouldn't be Easter without a few of these. I've found some that look suspiciously doctored, so I won't use them. What stands out is the terror and dismay on the faces of the children. Why? Why would anyone be afraid of an old man in long pink underwear and erectile ears putting his arm around you, when you KNOW you're not supposed to talk to strangers? Why would you take candy from them, when Mom and Dad have jackhammered it into your little head that you are NOT supposed to do that, ever? I am sure this is why small children scream and cry at the Easter Bunny and Santa and all those other creepy characters, until custom and convention slowly wear down their natural instinct to survive.

Why must Easter bunnies look like Fascist dictators? Why must their heads be larger than their bodies? Would this scare YOU?

The Space Alien bunny is a genre unto itself. They're really here to harvest our children.

I'd like to know who would sit down and design a costume like this. There are apparently no holes for oxygen, so let's hope the guy suffocated.

This is my personal favorite. Don't be fooled by the frightened smile on the little girl's face. She's just trying to get it over with as soon as possible.