Hot dog monster

Cooking tip: clean the rake first.

Campsite Quickie

You must keep in mind, as these pathetic high-school-cafeteria delights pass before your eyes, that this represents their best possible presentation. They'd never look anywhere near this good if you made them yourself. The fact people thought they WERE good - these recycled war rations, most made of glistening processed meat that looked as if it slid out of an Alpo can - only adds to the sense of incredulity. I mean - Green Bean Bunwiches? Chipped Beef in Popovers? Frank-Bean Bake? Hot-in-a-Bun for 48? End of the Trail? Who thought up these names - some dyspeptic ad executive in a boardroom, a la Mad Men? 

I just keep finding these, there seems to be no end to them. Hundreds. Thousands. There are whole YouTube channels devoted to trying out these recipes, actually cooking them and attempting to eat them. Army chow, to be bolted without thinking about it very much. Mess hall fare. Grub. Cooking wasn't a devotion or a pleasure back then so much as a utilitarian process, a necessity to be gotten over with, then the results quickly swallowed, tolerated like a dental appointment or bad sex.  

Valentine's Day: bet you never thought of this

This is one of those why-didn't-I-think-of-that-anyway (cuz-I-don't-have-the-innovative-skills-in-the-kitchen-and-moreover-I-don't-know-who-comes-up-with-these-way-cool-videos-anyway-but-there-must-be-teams-of-workers-slaving-in-kitchens-all-over-the-world-to-supply-such-crazy-cool-ideas-for-making-heart-shaped-food) videos. I may even try one of them to spring on my man. I'm giving you one day's notice.