Donald Trump vs Justin Trudeau: The political handshake

I! Love!! This!!! I cannot tell you how elated I feel! I guess that reveals how I will grasp at any little scrap of hope in the miserable slag-heap of the Trump administration. But I have never been more proud to be a Canadian. Justin Trudeau may look like a pretty boy, but he is actually very tough, a trained boxer and athlete who has a sort of martial-arts-style grace. So when it came time to meet his adversary, Trump soon became prey. Justin had obviously sized up his opponent and realized he had to jump in with ferocious confidence. He literally grabbed the man by the arm while squeezing his hand, disabling that infamous arrogant jerk-you-around "handshake". He had him in his grip, from both sides! I keep watching and watching this video because for some absurd, insane reason, it gives me hope. 

Frozen in the headlights

The Canadian Press
Published Friday, July 15, 2016 12:39PM EDT
Last Updated Friday, July 15, 2016 1:09PM EDT

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/pm-trudeau-says-canada-will-work-to-fight-terrorism-1.2988472

CALGARY -- Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says Canada is thinking of "our friends in France" and will work to fight terrorism.

"We had a terrible attack last night and our hearts go out to the victims and their families," Trudeau said Friday while in Calgary to attend the Stampede.

"Canada stands with France as a steadfast ally and we will work with the international community to fight terror to ensure that we live in a peaceful world."

There were no reports of Canadian casualties. At least 84 people were killed when a truck full of weapons plowed into a crowd of Bastille Day revellers in the French resort city of Nice late Thursday.

Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale said the federal government has no information that would necessitate a change in Canada's terror threat level, which is currently at medium.

Still, Goodale urged Canadians to stay vigilant and alert.

"Canadians can rest assured that when the security and intelligence sector receives credible warnings on a specific threat, they work with the appropriate government partners to ensure the safety of Canadians," Goodale said in a statement.

Goodale noted that while in Paris in January, he signed a declaration with his French counterpart, Bernard Cazeneuve, to work together on terrorism, organized crime and irregular migration.

OK. I'm not saying these guys are bad. I'm not even saying these guys are negligent or don't know how to do their jobs.

I just think these guys have run out of things to say.

I think they're having a harder and harder time helping Canadians feel safe. It's no longer going to work telling us they'll be sure to to warn us if something bad is about to happen.

There were no such warnings in Nice.

There was only a split-second of "warning", then chaos and death as 84 people were ploughed down, their lives ended in mid-breath. Nobody expected it except the killer.

So Justin Trudeau is called upon to, as usual, say a few words aboaut the latest atrocity. And this from the Calgary Stampede! I'm not against the Calgary Stampede, though I really hate how the chuckwagon races seem to kill at least a few horses every year.

But it's the juxtaposition. Horrendous carnage. Calgary Stampede. And bland, predictable words from the son of a "great" Prime Minister who was vilified all during his very long tenure (which was very long ago).

We grab at the familiar, in hope. We gasp for reassurance.

None of us gets a warning. We don't.

Many people are now thoroughly sick of "our thoughts and prayers go out to --- ", especially with regards to mass shootings. But this has become an "insert atrocity here" statement, and we're hearing it practically every week.

My daughter, a seasoned TV newswoman, believes the world is doomed. It was alarming to hear her talk yesterday. In my worst moments, I agree with her, though even in my own blog I have to be careful how I write about it. Of course it can be said that she's right up against it every day, reporting on all the worst stuff that happens worldwide.

But the worst is getting worse. The bland is getting REALLY bland, and stretched pretty thin.

If a real disaster happened in Canada, I'm not sure how Justin Trudeau would handle it.

"He's like a deer in the headlights," my husband likes to say.

Let us hope we never find out. But how can we know for sure?

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Ghomeshi: what once was cool

Strange and sad, and shows how blind we be

when we see

the epitome

of cool

is nothing much but drool.

We kept that parasite within our sight 

and glued ourselves and grew ourselves a spot

(and women sure liked him a lot)

We didn't see old photos of him much

from rocker days

though we sort of heard his group

Bare Naked something? - No,

it was that other one 

though he was Hip, we knew because he told us, 

he sold us on the look 

and forced the Like.

Jian Ghomeshi, Jian Ghomeshi:

this country's got a hangover

your name is on the bottle

we fell for you

sucked up to you

full throttle

full throttle

Little teddies

have big ears

they see too much

and smell the fear

Turn him to the wall

and it will all disappear

close your eyes, girl

and you will see no evil

Oh come host us, host us! - jack up

our national boredom! Your killer smile

dilutes our memories 

of Lester Pearson and Juliette

grey wool socks

and other national traits

Canada the sleeping virgin

is now orgasmic

 drowned in lubrication

a slow hot fudge slide

of seduction

Was there an end to his poses? his suitability?

His male model shine?

His entitled gleam?

His internal spotlight?

The batteries that never ran out?

The vibrator in his larynx

that sent us all into 

paroxysms?

And here, let's not forget this! 

It was great at the time.

Great!

Great. I, um. I. 

Things change. Do they!

But not the man, the slug on the sidewalk,

the slug in his pants, slimy

the thug with his hands, grasping

the punch

the blackening, the blueing, the pearly smile

the woman now on trial

for being his victim

the man

(if you can call him a man) 

ass-licked, ass-wipened, then kicked back down

and cheered and jeered at, back in the spotlight

 as he walks up the courtroom stairs 

CODA

Jian Gomeshi, this is what you look like

after the fall.

I see no glamour here, 

no glisten or gleam,

just the dead eyes of a thug

and those celebrated lips 

compressed into a line. 

Pictures of the back of your head

taken by your former fans

are now trophies of your downfall

they don't even need to see your face 

any old part of you will do.

This was not what he expected

you can see it's killing him

but don't fret over Jian

the man will survive

there is still room

in his mother's basement

and someone will surely take him on

as a security guard

somewhere

the last remaining video store in Canada

or perhaps he'll open his own 

s & m parlour

it could be quite popular

but you'll have to check your iphones

at the door

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First Justin Trudeau Blingee!

   

First, let me say that I remember when this kid was born. It was Christmas Day 1971, I was 17 years old and my Dad was on the sauce, serenading us from The Messiah:

"For unto us a child is born. . . a son is given. . . and the government will be upon his shoulder. . . "

Well, kind of, yeah. It sort of DID work out that way, didn't it? 

At least now, I hope, people will stop yammering about Harper, fulminating and showing him with Hitler moustaches and giving Nazi salutes and wielding giant dildos. (Dildoes?). I got so royally sick of all this shit, along with all the ads that are being shoved down my throat, that I came near to bailing on social media altogether, and I still might. I've never seen such rancour, such sourness and mean-spiritedness all in one place, and I hope to never see it again.

But I now await the Justin Trudeau schmooze-fest, which should last just about until he actually starts to rule the country. At that point, the country will turn him into the same elitist asshole we thought his father was (only to give him a massive state funeral and declare he united the country as never before).

OK, this is as political as I will ever get. Good night.