My gecko encounter on Maui

This might just be my favorite of the hundred or so videos I took on Maui in December. This gecko was so majestic, and so huge, that he might not even have been a gecko. He might have been an anole, a similar-looking creature which grows to twice the size. I'm trying to figure out if this one had sticky pads on its toes. What do you think? It might be an anole, after all, but he looked like velvet, and regarded me with what seemed like intelligent eyes. OK, I know that's fanciful, but he was just adorable, and stayed for a long time (again, most un-gecko-like: most of them are seen only for a split-second as they dart back into a crack in the wall). The creature had a tail so long it wouldn't even fit in the frame, and was always partially hidden behind something. I'm still trying to figure out the size of it - at least a foot long nose-to-tail, perhaps longer. Geckos run four, six inches or so. As a kid I loved loved LOVED reptiles and amphibians, had a chameleon (actually, an anole), a fire newt, and a whole collection of frogs, toads and turtles, not to mention a snake or two. I longed for a salamander, but never found one. This gecko would have sent me into rhapsodies of joy. I just had to wait for it, I guess, though waiting more than 50 years for something can be tiring.

Geckos and guava!

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My God. . . what's that in your pocket?

No, it's not the cute little green Geico Gecko with his Australian accent and ironic humour. It isn't the Aflac Duck, who seems to have broken a wing lately or something (but he only had one line anyway).

This is some sort of nightmarish mechanical squirrel that hands out pills.

Pink pills, Pepto-Dismal pills (as we used to call it). If they taste as sickish and paintlike as the original sickish pink liquid, then they'll make you throw up, which is one way I guess of relieving your stomach problems.

I heard once that during the war (and to my generation, The War meant only one thing) people used Pepto-Bismal as paint in a pinch, when nothing else was available. This tells me several things. One, that there must have been buckets of it lying around (why would it cost less than paint, or be more available?) Two, that there must have been a lot of sickish pink walls during the war. Three, that I think I'm going to be sick now.

And hey, waitaminute: the Pepto part I get, but Bismol? Does this stuff have bismuth in it? What the hell IS bismuth - isn't it radiactive, like Strontium 90? What's Strontium 90? Is that why it's pink?

(below. . . I hate to do this. . . I found out some facts about the bismuth, but could only post these few because I can't think about this any more.  I'm surprised this stuff hasn't been hauled off the market by the FDA.)

Dissolved Pills Mike Walker

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Most modern medicines are carefully synthesized organic molecules so potent that each pill contains only a few milligrams of the active ingredient. Pepto-Bismol is a fascinating exception, both because its active ingredient is bismuth, a heavy metal commonly used in shotgun pellets, and because there is a lot of it in each dose. So much, in fact, that I was able to extract a slug of bismuth metal from a pile of pink pills.

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html

http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm

The last-chance lizard

 

 

 I was going to put a cute poem here, then felt sick and couldn't do it. This lame-o idea was forced upon me by the fact that I am STILL using the "workaround" that Google tells me I must use to put up photos. In other words, my blog STILL isn't fixed.

 

 

 

But I have to admit, I WANT a stuffy of the Geico Gecko. I love the Geico Gecko. Though it's only Tuesday, I think, I've found out a few things about the Geicko Gecko, most of which I won't tell you cuz they're boring and you don't need to kow.

 

 

  

 

 

Lies abound when it comes to the Geico Gecko. Some say he represents the Great God Geico, that, you know, mythical creature. Some say he merely represents geckos. This is a Madagascar Day Gecko eating its own young, or else tenderly carrying across the Gobi Desert or wherever they go.

 

 

 

 

 

These compact and brightly-colored reptiles serve as tender morsels to reward your pampered cat for doing absolutely nothing.  Better than those catnip-scented sachets.

 

 

 

 

 

The first Voice of the Gecko was Kelsey Grammer, a reptile if ever I saw one, but ***I*** don't remember hearing the Geico Gecko talk like that, do you?

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway. This whole lame-o post, which I now realize is nevertheless just a little cute anyway, is an experiment in using "workarounds" while the idiots at Google don't work on solving my photo-posting problem on Blogger. They don't work on it because it is bottom priority, if a priority at all.

 

My prediction? It won't ever be solved. So there you go.

 

Workarounds.

 

 

 

 

 

Top Ten News Stories of 2013!

 

 

(BLOGGER'S NOTE. You thought 2012 was awful? Wait until you read these stories from 2013! How come I know all this stuff in advance? The pace of modern living is so goldern fast these days, we've already caught up with ourselves and gone BOINNGGGG into the future. It's as if the new year never happened at all. JOIN THE FUN!)

1. A GECKO IS ELECTED PRESIDENT

You know that cute little Geico gecko in the TV ads who goes around saying funny things in an Australian accent? He is elected President of the World in 2013 by the unanimous vote of everyone who has a Twitter account.  In the words of the Huffington Post: "Never has a reptile exhibited this calibre of leadership ability melded with such profound humanity." (Only later is it discovered that he is computer-generated and in fact does not exist.)

2. LINDSAY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL AND DIES

In a much-anticipated climax to her long career of self-destructive flailing, Lindsay Lohan slugs a producer, fails to show up for her court date, slams her car into someone she doesn't like, gets in a bar fight and bites someone, stars in some lame-o movie about Jackie Kennedy, fails to show up for another court date, slugs someone else, and. . . on December 31, 2013, the authorities break into her sumptuous Malibu beach house and haul her off to jail on multiple charges, after which she is immediately released on bail and dies from a chihuahua bite. Though it is determined that the chihuahua is an attack dog trained by her mother, her death is listed in the media under Public Improvements.

 

3. THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE COMPLETELY DISINTEGRATES

This results from the relentless forces of tweets and twats, not to mention texts that mean nothing (I don't CARE what you did this afternoon when it rained out), constant Smartphone calls that mean nothing, and the compressed, misspelled quasi-language of social media worming its way into Webster's Dictionary as an acceptable new language called Twitspeak.

 

4. EVERYONE ON THE PLANET IS DRAGGED INTO A SCANDAL FOR POSTING NUDE PHOTOS ON THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE

 

(or Twitter or whatever)

5. PUBLIC ATTENTION SPAN SHRINKS FROM THREE SECONDS TO

 

 

6. HORRIFIC WEATHER DISASTERS ARE BLAMED ON "NORMAL CLIMATE FLUCTUATIONS"

. . . as New York City sinks six hundred feet under the sea, California disappears, and late-night comics (grateful for some fresh, relevant material) spew out endless jokes about it from their new studios in Newton, Kansas, Entertainment Capitol of the World.

7. THE KARDASHIANS TURN INTO LIFE-SIZED STATUES MADE OF BOLOGNA

 

8. THAT GREAT BIG MASS OF DISCARDED PLASTIC FLOATING IN THE OCEAN INCREASES FROM TWENTY MILES WIDE TO FIFTY MILES WIDE

 

 

In 2013, environmental experts are quick to reassure the public that this new man-made continent will begin to disintegrate by the year 5019. In the meantime, a theme park is being contemplated.

9. TREES BEGIN TO SPONTANEOUSLY IGNITE DUE TO CONCENTRATED FUMES IN THE OXYGEN SUPPLY

More fodder for the late-night comedians.

10. A NEW REALITY SHOW DEBUTS IN 2013, STARRING A VAST LUMP OF PUNGENT ORGANIC MATERIAL

This is called Here Comes Funny Poo Poo.

And I could go on and on, but I can hear a little voice in my head saying, "Heyyyyyyyyyyy, that's depressing!" So I'll stop.