Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

All, Some, None (or "this but not that") - words to live by, especially now

 


After a particularly hair-raising and horrendous phone call from a relative I secretly can't stand (and whom I have never once phoned myself, though she calls me at least several times a year and begins to bombard me with highly-personal questions), I wrote this Facebook post and ran it with the photo above. I won't break up the text with images this time, as I like to do, because I really don't have the energy right now. It comes at a time when I already feel vulnerable due to another family member's sensitive crisis, and information that has been entrusted to me which I now realize I cannot and will not violate.

Maybe I should title this "things you shouldn't share on social media". It's a timely subject, particularly in light of the fact that we're now realizing that "delete" doesn't really mean "delete", that people can screenshot and save anything you post and use it for whatever purpose they choose, even years and years later - and in whatever distorted form they want to.


I have no complaint with sharing stuff that's sensitive, and I've done quite a bit of it myself over the years. This has led some people to believe that because I brought up certain subjects, I am quite willing to share EVERYTHING that has EVER happened to me in that area, including things that I went through literally decades ago.

Am I still the shy, smiling young girl you see in this picture? Well, no - and bringing up some of the worst things that ever happened to her is - what shall I say? - not productive. This is particularly true if the person unearthing these archival incidents is not sharing ANY of their own personal struggles, but is hiding behind a sort of social worker position. When that happens, I feel "studied", and it's not sharing on any meaningful level. It is not identification, and it is the farthest thing from empathy that I can imagine.

I learned some valuable things about boundaries many years ago, little gemstones I carry around in my pocket, which have never been more useful than they are right now.

"This but not that." Does that sound simple? It is, but not easy to actually do. In other words, I may be comfortable sharing THIS feeling, incident, situation, etc., but not THAT one. The topic is not wide open for discussion simply because I have brought it up. Most especially, it's not helpful if the incidents the person is bringing up are things I would obviously rather forget.

This is a related issue, but very important. If someone asks you to do something (and especially, if you ask YOURSELF to do something), you can do ALL, SOME, or NONE of it. These are all good choices, and each one of them serves you in the moment. But it is entirely your own choice, and if you get pushback from people (especially wanting ALL when your choice is SOME or NONE), that is their concern and not yours. This has nothing at all to do with them. And "no" is a complete sentence.

We talk about boundaries, but in the Wild West of social media, it seems like boundaries are beginning to dissolve. I have shared some things on my blog that I honestly thought were OK to repost here (it's easy and can be done with the click of a button) - but my blog is personal, my following small, and generally speaking the content won't be held up for scrutiny in the same way.

Another issue that comes up a lot is the value of going public. It used to be seen as really admirable, but it's a whole new ballgame now. Back when I wrote columns for community newspapers, one or two people might appreciate what I wrote or how much of myself I shared. Now it's simply "out there", or up there, where people can either misinterpret it, or just assume I am willing to reveal more (and more and more!) about myself.

This but not that. All, some, none. It's time for me to pull those valuable gemstones out of my pocket once again.

On social media you can be anyone you want to be. You don't even have to use your real name. The person asking you all those uncomfortable questions or digging up incidents from forty years ago can easily take on the safely-defended role of a "mental health professional" (even though they're usually not), safely removed from the actual messy reality of your own experience. But something worse might happen next, and often does. That person then uses your moment of vulnerability to benefit themselves.

Several years ago I dumped Facebook because it had become a drag that wasn't adding anything to my life. Now I honestly wonder how much it might be taking away. I know a lot of people who have stopped posting, perhaps wisely. If I do partake of this, I won't assume things I wrote five or ten years ago will have the same impact. Things have changed radically, and we must watch out for people who are, in a subtle way. predators.

Maybe cat videos and the odd family photo might be safer for me here, as I realizes now I don't want to be public property, even in the most minor way. I'll also make an effort to pay more attention to my own discomfort, and not allow even the most subtle form of exploitation to take place.

For that is what it is.

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

😳WHAT DOES IT MEAN??😲


This is a really, truly, scary thing that happened to me a couple of years ago when I was on a Facebook page. I don't even know how or why it popped up. So what do they mean by "kill" the page? How do you do that, and why would anyone want to? I thought the term was "delete". I still haven't figured it out, but it made a cool animation which started life as a gif, but is now posted on YouTube.


Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Harold Lloyd: Facebook profile pics

 


Back in the day, I used to really work at Facebook covers/profile pics (please do not ask me why), and I came out with a new one every week, if not every day. Some of them are pretty nice, and deserve a second go-'round.

Friday, May 22, 2020

Internet ambush: the poison pill





(This started off life as a journal entry, but as it evolved I realized this is something I really need to post. It deals with a subtle form of psychological abuse on the internet, in which someone offers you something and makes it almost impossible for you to say no, even if deep down you are uncomfortable with that person and don't want to play. In some cases, there is bad blood in the past which is being denied, glossed over, or twisted around to be your fault, while excusing the perpetrator as having only the best motives at heart. I had an example today on YouTube, just a small one, but my alarm bells went off like crazy.So this is more personal and emotional than most of my blog posts.)  


I had a strange offer this morning from a woman who, like me, has a YouTube doll channel (specifically, troll dolls). She has been very nice in praising a couple of my videos, but then offered to send me a troll, and I refused it. I won't give out personal info, but it was more than that - I could feel a hook in it.  I know I`ve been suspicious before about things that turned out to be OK, but I don`t know this woman, and sometimes fulsome praise (I mean fulsome in the sense of much-too-muchness) IS suspicious. Yes, she has come up to me on the playground, skipping along in a gingham dress and pigtails, etc., and said, "Let's be friends!", and here I am being all suspicious. 






But my God, the CRAP that goes on on the internet, and sending me something like that out of the blue makes me beholden in some weird way, even guilty and feeling I maybe "owe" her something, which of course I do not. Over-gifting or completely unexpected gifting is aggressive at worst, even an ambush, though it also makes the recipient feel THEY are crazy or "off" for being suspicious of a generous gift which has been freely given. What is wrong with you to think there are strings attached?

I don`t know this woman from Adam, or Eve, or anyone else, and she has hardly any videos on her channel at all. That alone is reason to be wary. She referred me to her website, which is generally a sales pitch. Sending me a troll after seeing only two of my videos is an odd thing to do, and even if it didn't lead to "you owe me", psychologically it DOES do that. It`s also real Nigerian prince stuff at its worst. Falling for it leaves you feeling angry, ripped off and ashamed.






I don't want to give her my personal info, least of all my mailing address. Then she will know where I live. A complete stranger. I have heard of the most diabolical things coming from letting your boundaries down, though to be so wary of her makes me seem weird and over-suspicious. She also said, rather snippily, "that is, IF you're interested" in a completely different tone, implying that if you're NOT, you're not being very friendly to a fellow enthusiast.

It's better to err on the side of caution, I think. So I think I handled it right in graciously declining and telling her I don't give out that sort of information. My troll channel is meant to be pure joy, and if someone likes it, thats great. But it is set up a certain way. No commerce, no freebies, no offers or trades, no buy and sell or even being made beholden by sending ME something I never asked for and really do not want. It`s actually pressure on me to MAKE me be interested in her work (for surely I must thank and praise her profusely when I get it!), or making me feel guilty if I am NOT interested in her work, which at the moment I am not. 






So there may well be more snippiness ahead. "That is, IF you`re interested" had a nasty core to it, coated in sparkly sugar.  Postal stuff is dicey at best, especially with the border closed, and I don't know where she lives, but I assume it's the States.  I don't want her finding and criticizing the stuff I post about the States. It could start a war. She may be one of these DETESTABLE Paula Deen-like Southern women, a type I need to stay miles away from. A large number of crafty women on the internet are, maybe because they are traditionalists and egocentric busy bees.

This is the etiquette I think is sensible: don't offer something free, it'll make the other person feel they "owe" you something even if they insist you don’t. Don't agree to receive something when it is offered out of the blue by someone you do not know. When you get that twinge of quease in your belly, something subtle but unhealthy is going on.






That quease means you are sensing a manipulative ploy from someone who doesn't know you from Adam (OR Eve). When I see the nasty leech behaviour of Lynne, my former high school friend, who stood by and silently watched while I was systematically eviscerated in front of her close friend Lori – WHY ON EARTH would I want to connect with her again? But that was exactly what she wanted to do, and insisted on it over and over and OVER again.  If I feel uncomfortable with her and choose not to connect, she should accept it as my decision without questioning it, not pursue me all over the internet, finally driving me to explode and then REALLY be the villain.

I did not stay on my hometown Facebook page (which is the way Lynne somehow connected with me again, trampling the boundary of my blocking her a couple of years ago) for more than a few days, before realizing everyone had their head up their ass and was obsessed with the past. She took my brief interest to mean I wanted to endlessly reminisce about a place that nearly destroyed me. In retrospect, certain things can look very different, and now I see that what she did was every bit as savage as what Lori did (prompted by nothing, by the way), or worse, because her utter silence and total lack of ANY semblance of defending me was making her complicit. Quite simply, she literally stood by and watched.





I don't want that energy in my life, but the way it panned out made it, guess what, ALL MY FAULT for refusing her 'concern'. But even that didn't stop her. By some devious means, she found my YouTube channel (which goes by the name of  ferociousgumby) and left a comment on a video about side effects of meds, telling me I should taper off! If a person blocks you, GUESS WHAT, they do it because they are uncomfortable with you. Those times she visited (she invited herself to have coffee with me twice when she was in town from Ontario), I did not want to see her and did not enjoy the long conversations about Chatham and the past, which is where everyone STILL lives now, including telling me in detail about one person I barely knew who committed suicide. The rest was about how no one in the school system understood her son. Her conversation was one-sided, a monologue, and a drag on my spirits. I felt awful, yet relieved when she left. I did not know how to say no in those days, at all, and now that I DO know, it still causes an interior struggle.

I don't know why I tolerated it, except SHE phoned ME, assuming we were still "best friends" or even friends at all after decades, with a lot of bad blood in the past. Later I dodged the bullet, but as usual with these things, I was left feeling bad for what I had to do. I saw just the beginnings of a tirade from her on Facebook messaging (and HOW can you message someone when they have been blocked??) and didn`t read it, knowing what it would be like and how I would be cast. And how it would leave me feeling, basically ruining my day.






When someone says no, when someone erects a barrier or a boundary, you MUST accept they have their own reasons for it which you may know nothing  about (and are NOT owed an explanation for because it is none of your business), and respect it. Otherwise you don’t respect the person, and then why are you even trying to get the so-called friendship from decades ago (laden with bad blood) going again? Why try to trample down those barriers, and just arm-twist and arm-twist until that person says, Oh, forgive me, I was wrong! I DO want to be your friend again! Let me just push down this barrier I erected because I am so DAMN uncomfortable with you. And kindly do not twist this around and leave ME feeling bad, when the violation is YOURS.

I guess these people just HAVE to win this somehow, to push themselves on you repeatedly until you give way, or even tackle you in the name of friendship. 




I have learned from Linda L. and that really insane Terri chick who was obsessed with Harold Lloyd that you MUST be careful not to get swamped or even sucked into a little whirlpool that has its own sick agenda. There is this bizarre sense that time has stood still (which it apparently HAS in Chatham) and youll just happily fall into step again and be best buds, which we never were. At all.

I am actually shocked at what she did, but what with her, Linda L. and that HL-obsessed chick, I am now much more careful. They were much more blatant examples of actual mental illness, personality disorders, but I learned from them (mostly, what to avoid). And what do I lose? Nothing at all, though having to push back on the troll offer left me feeling subtly dampened during an already hard time. It just left a bad taste in my mouth, something I did not need on a grey day like this.







But it's all a potent reminder that no matter how the internet has evolved, it is still the wild west, and right now it seems to me it reflects the worst of human nature far more often than the best.



Thursday, February 20, 2020

David West: my friend deserved better than this




(For the second year in a row, some of David's Facebook "friends" wished him a happy birthday, no doubt because the algorithm told them to. A notification popped up, so a feigned note of celebration automatically popped up along with it. No energy, investment or emotion was required: it practically sent itself, which most people on social media seem to feel is the ideal way of sending a note of celebration/caring and concern to their "friends".






There is only one problem with this. But it's a big one (I think). He has been dead for two years, so one can only guess at the depth of their connection with him while he was alive. I had something to say about this on Facebook, knowing I would make myself very unpopular, but sick and tired of the barter that stands in for Facebook "friendship". With authors, the most self-involved and narcissistic segment of the population, it is all a matter of "you review my book, I'll review your book" - no one actually READING any of these books, of course - just to score that coveted five-star rating.


It means nothing, nothing, nothing at all.






So here is what I posted, and I am "off" Facebook now, except perhaps to peruse my "saved"  pages, history, vintage ads, favorite shows like Dateline, old cars, birds, all the things that truly interest and uplift me. The feed and my so-called friends can fuck off right now, with probably more energy than they deserve, and certainly more than it took to hit that birthday button for a dead man.)




"Once more, as with last year, David West received birthday greetings from some of his Facebook 'friends'. He has been dead for two years. I think David would have gotten a kick out of this bizarre scenario, but I don’t. 






And I know the justification will be “but I didn’t know”. This does not take away this feeling of hollowness and utter isolation that I have had to live with for two years as people’s meaningless birthday notifications just keep on automatically popping up. 







“Happy birthday” no longer means even a greeting card, but just something you do because it’s on the notification list, which is a great system because it frees us from the NEED to remember that person’s birthday or find out anything else about their circumstances. It’s one of the great things about social media (and I’ve heard this over and over again from people). 







David was my best friend, a superb poet and gifted teacher who spent the last years of his life battling every illness under the sun. The understanding between us was unique, and I will never experience that again or see him again, or hear his voice. He died alone, with no emotional support except what his few friends could give him. 





The next objection will be, “But his page is still active”. No one knows his password, so no one can take it down. And as with his Facebook page, no one looked in on him. These jolly two-word greetings prove it. This gives me a weird, hollow feeling of the more macabre and even dehumanizing aspects of social media.





This is how we do things now, and as always, I don’t belong on the playground. I know this will be a very unpopular thing to say, and I may be savaged, as I have been before just for expressing an opinion. But maybe this is the best way to say goodbye.


Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Mental Health: once more, I take an unpopular view.




This was found on a Facebook friend's page, and of course, at first I felt I had to read and accept it as something positive. But unlike all these dreadful people mentioned in the first sentence, I actually DID read it all the way through. And the more I read, the less I liked. Why was this? One reason I used to skip this sort of post is that they make me feel uncomfortable, even slightly scummy. This DOES seem to be the aim of it, but how is that going to bring people on-board with the "cause"? Shaming never worked very well for me as a tool for communicating something important, or winning people over. Below is the original copy-and-paste, then my rebuttal, which took me over half an hour to write. I had to "snooze" that person for thirty days because I don't feel like being ripped apart in the comments for taking an unpopular view. These things are as dismaying as all the phony "breast cancer awareness" messages I used to get. And ultimately, I think they do more harm than good.





Posting this for a far away friend ❤️

Maybe if people's heads weren't buried in the sand of ignorance and they took the time to understand, instead of judging and thinking it won't happen to them because they have the perfect family, life would be a little bit easier for people that do experience this! This hits close to home for me, for family and friends who live under this shadow. The days of 'it' not being talked about or being taboo should be over. In the most difficult moments of life you realize who your true friends are, and the people who really appreciate you. Unfortunately, most social media 'friends' aren't true friends. They will send you a "like" here and there, but in reality they do not take time to read your status if they see it's lengthy. More than half will stop reading right here, or have already scrolled on to the next post on their page. I decided to post this message in support of all those who continue to battle with their mental illness. (Suicide is at an all time high). Now, let's see who will have taken the time to read this lengthy post right through to the end. If you have read everything so far, please "like" it so that I can put a thank you on your page. More mental health awareness is urgently needed. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean people aren't suffering. Please, try to spare a little of your time with someone who may just want to talk (about anything). Talking can help us all to cope a little more, keeping things bottled up just makes it worse. Most people will say, "if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me, I'll be there to help you" but will they? I believe a select few of my friends will post this, to show their support for those who may be STRUGGLING. You just have to copy and paste rather than sharing. I'd like to know who will take a minute out of their day to read this all the way to the end and then copy and paste it to their page, will you? If so, please write "done" in comments!






Margaret Gunning This is all good, but unfortunately it is a "generic" message that people very often believe has been written by the person who is posting it. The copy and paste messages very often have a flavor of "most people won't even bother with this" and then pressure the reader to show a little sensitivity (unlike everyone else!) by reading it all, then passing it along. Most would likely say, "but the message is a good one, so it doesn't matter how it's delivered" - the tone and underlying implications of it. Or, "at least this raises awareness" or "gets the message across". The writer (whoever he or she is, and we don't know that or where they are coming from) just assumes that most people are utterly callous and won't even bother to read half of it but will just shunt it aside due to their insensitivity. This is dismissive and even expresses a degree of contempt for the majority of people, in that it accuses them of something pretty bad, and ultimately alienates people (potential supporters) and does not help the cause. If you go back and read it again, all of it, not stopping halfway through it, with an eye to HOW it is written, it may strike you as not so positive. If it were worded less judgementally, I'd have an easier time with it. I DO understand the stigma all too well, and have suffered from it all my life. But all these messages, no matter what the issue, have a shaming quality, or at least an implication that almost everyone out there is heartless and does not understand or care, and that YOU can be different and owe it to the world to show it by copying and pasting the message (NOT sharing, because for some reason which makes me uneasy, sharing is never good enough). I have had a lifetime of mental health struggles and watched my brother die due to the effects of schizophrenia, and have loved several people who committed suicide, so please do not accuse me of not knowing or caring! But there has to be a better way of spreading the message, as it does not bring people on-board if you right off the top tell them they have their "heads buried in the sand of ignorance". Try to open a door for them, not shut it in their face.





BLOGGER'S POSTSCRIPT. As I expected, there are more articles popping up on Facebook about "mental health" (which, five minutes ago, was called "mental illness", while the person held a whip and a chair). This was my response to a piece about men working on oil rigs and the "hyper-masculine" environment that leads to suicide from untreated depression. As usual, I'm taking a view that no one wants to hear, because, as usual, if you "saw it on the internet", it will likely be reductive (like Madonna said about Lady Gaga's performances). At least it does not have the nasty finger-pointing of the first piece (when I thought nasty finger-pointing was the problem in the first place).




Margaret Gunning I only object to the "not asking for help", which is always emphasized in these articles. People with mental health concerns are expected to be in control of their own recovery. It wouldn't be true of heart disease or diabetes, but it's very true of depression and other debilitating mental health conditions. "Reach out for help" implies that if a person doesn't, they really don't want it and perhaps don't want to be well. Personally, I think it is about as effective as "thoughts and prayers" - something you say, then wash your hands, thinking "I've done my part". These articles often provoke another response: "oh, that's terrible, look what societal conditioning has done to them" (full stop). I always seem to be taking the unpopular view, and I will likely be vilified for raising points that express the underlying complexity of these issues. I am NOT against asking for help and reaching out, if the person is able to, but might co-workers think of reaching out to the suffering person? Might they be willing to try to step out of their own awful conditioning to try to help, or at least empathize and break the appalling loneliness? In view of the nature of suicidal depression and the terrible stigma attached to it, the suffering person is at the very bottom of their capacity to be proactive. This is just my opinion, but it is based on knowing and caring about people who have suffered disabling depression and killed themselves. and I know I will be refuted because it runs counter to the popular view.


Monday, August 19, 2019

"O lost your mumbet": old people on Facebook



























BLOGGER'S NOTE. Am I making fun of "old people" in posting these? I just think they're funny in a silly, whimsical way, hopefully not poking nasty fun at an age group we are ALL going to end up in (if we are so lucky). "O lost your mumbet" is classic, as are the bean comments and profile pictures which are wildly askew. I confess I flounder at the thought of technology and stick to the few vastly-outdated things (like this blog, which was once described as "embarrassing") that I know how to do. I am a desktop person in a Smartphone world. The rest of it, well, cream of corn suits me fine, babies hanging from sunflowers are adorable, and unpleasant granddaughters are a reality which, though I don't want to face it, is comforting to see identified as one of the nastier realities of grandparenthood.


Friday, July 12, 2019

"WOW!" Response to yesterday's post




As a followup to yesterday's lament, which was originally posted on Facebook,  I received a heartwarming outpouring of support from my fellow writers, many of whom aren't even on my friend list.  Some of the longer comments say "see more", so they aren't complete, but you get the idea. I had no idea ANYONE would respond to this. It's that "I'm all alone in this" thing, which it turns out I am not. I have  copied and pasted these without changing the format, as quite often you get nothing but one solid block of text. This is one of the longer things I have ever posted, but it's important to me that it be put up here to balance yesterday's lament. I also had a chance to tell some writers how I felt about them and their work. I didn't do the usual thing and intersperse photos (as I've always felt big blocks of text are hard to get through). But here are the comments, not quite complete. As Christopher Walken would say: "Wow."




·        Ruth Hill I am wondering why he is bent on criticising you instead of encouraging you. I also do not believe popularity is any measure of the quality of the creative endeavor. I am hoping you can ditch the grouch and surround yourself with
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning I think writers have a tough enough time trying to deal with editors, critics, etc. without getting it from their fellow writers. It's too bad. But his opinion doesn't carry much (if any) weight with me.

·                                
Amber Hayward A real writer doesn't write so that their words will not be heard, a real writer aims to communicate. Otherwise we could stow it all away in closets and feel we accomplished enough. Good grief!
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning I keep thinking: humans became human when they began to communicate with words. And that began with everyone sitting around the fire in a circle listening to the the Storyteller, mesmerizing everyone with the tale of. . . Oh, wait - take away that circle! A storyteller isn't a storyteller if they need THAT crap.
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Lori Hahnel You don’t need a jackass like that in your life.
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning Well, he's blocked. It was kind of a shock to receive a tirade like that. And he wanted me to re-title my novel Glass Girl. The novel is about silent film comedian Harold Lloyd. But "girl" was a sort of buzzword in titles a couple of years ago. . . I don't know, everybody's an expert, I guess. (But you're right.)
o                                                       
Lori Hahnel Good for you for blocking him. What a weirdo.
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Catharine Clark-Sayles This person is not a friend
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Margaret Gunning No, he's not. Not even in a Facebook sense.
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Luanne Armstrong Sounds like a good subject and an interesting topic from you
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Bruce Meyer Hey, you have a right to care. Everyone who is a professional and wants to be recognized has a right to their own barometer for success. Keep writing. Books don’t go away and many begin to sell long after the fact. Austin Clarke felt the same way you dSee More
o                                                        
Margaret Gunning I'm still hoping for the movie deal! And I still keep writing, this "thing" I work on late at night. . . I don't think I'll ever show it to anyone. But you never know.
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MJ Cates Wanting your work to be read by as many people as possible is not nearly the same as wanting to own a private jet and four houses. Many great writers lamented their lack of sales/recognition (Keats, for example), and your analogy to making something yoSee More
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning Thank you so much! I posted this because I was trying to come to terms with what happened and, frankly, not get too hurt by it, though it hurt anyway because I used to think this guy was an ally, if not a friend. But his naivete (or perhaps ignorance) See More
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MJ Cates I mentioned your post to a highly regarded novelist today and he was as offended by your friend's comment as I was.
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning MJ Cates I almost wish I had kept it, but I blocked him to protect my feelings. It was just jaw-dropping. I have no idea why he'd do this to me, as a fellow writer. To say I wasn't a writer and have never been a writer. Hmmm, I kept a diary from age eight because I felt like nothing had really happened in my life until I had written it down.
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Natalee Caple That is garbage and abusive -- real writers are not all the same and this is just a way of asserting power for the jerk who wrote that. Writers care about reception -- otherwise they would not publish.
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning Thank you so much, Natalee. Though I seldom comment, I follow your page daily because I admire your sensitivity and honesty and can see that all writers are "up against it" in many ways, including ways which never came to light before. Yes, this guy is a bully, and though he more-or-less behaved himself before and seemed supportive, there was an agenda. I blocked him immediately.
o                                                       
Natalee Caple Good, that was a set up for more abuse -- I am glad you asserted your boundaries.
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Patricia Robertson Facebook can be hazardous. As a professional writer, I write for money, an audience and attention. We write to communicate. We need readers to complete that circle. Book sales are driven by timing, subject matter, marketing budgets, PR efforts and the See More
                                                       
Margaret Gunning I think his comments reflected a kind of purist attitude of "art before everything" (when I know very well he's just as interested in recognition as most other writers). I found this article (link below) many years ago and bookmarked it. It spoke to me and at least made me feel better. I See More

THEGLOBEANDMAIL.COM
Artists struggle to survive in age…
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Margaret Gunning I don't agree with everything he says, but it's true that writers feel they have to shoulder the entire burden of the shifting global economy and the way it rules book sales, and who becomes a "best-seller" or even a "seller" at all. There used to be sSee More
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Patricia Robertson Margaret Gunning and Ian Brown's show, too. I remember Gzowski's great interview style. Readers and writers still need to find each other. I'm not sure that poverty is good for your art as Smith concludes. I'd rather have my bills paid so I can focus on my writing. But much of what he asserts about the shifting tides in the industry is bang on.
o                                                       
Margaret Gunning I think he was being ironic! I just realized Gzowski extensively interviewed Elly Danica, the author of an incredible book called "Don't: A Woman's Word". This was in ***1988*** and he gave it his full attention, and also extensively wrote about the auSee More
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Patricia Robertson Margaret Gunning I remember that book. It was ground-breaking and controversial back in '88 when I was enrolled in Women's Studies at York it generated a lot of classroom discussion. Elly Danica stands out from the period for me, too. Gusty.

o                                                       
Patricia Robertson "I was interviewed by Peter Gzowski for CBC’s Morningside Show in 1988 after the publication of Don’t: A Woman’s Word. Peter won an ACTRA award for this interview, which was produced by Hal Wake." from Danica's website
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Margaret Gunning Patricia Robertson She was, and is, extraordinary. Women weren't speaking out then, and when they did, lo and behold, it spawned a new corporate entity: the False Memory Syndrome Association (FMSA for short). I say "corporate" because it was highly orgSee More
                                
MH Pilk I've gotten up every single day for 19 yrs and cooked breakfast for my kids, made their lunches for both school and home, and cooked dinner. I'm a mom. It's what I do. But if I found that every single day they were scraping it in the trash and walking See More
                                                       
Margaret Gunning I am loving this conversation! I felt so alone in this.
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Jerry Levy Hey Margaret. I don’t know you other than that we both published with Thistledown. And I rarely post anything on FB. But your post made me write something. I just want to tell you that you have an amazing track record as a published writer. Think aboutSee More
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Margaret Gunning It took me literally decades to get the first deal, after which I assumed I was on easy street. My first publisher, whom I really liked by the way, and treated me well, told me two things: I had gotten more reviews/more positive reviews than they had See More
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Jerry Levy So hard to get a book deal. That means only one thing - publishers love your work. You should be incredibly proud of yourself. Not everyone can be a NY Times best seller but likewise, not everyone can write and publish novels. So continue writing, you’re obviously a very, very good writer. And ignore the naysayers (they just might be jealous of your talent)
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Luanne Armstrong It is bloody hard to be a Canadian writer. It's very much a popularity contest. I think frankly that almost every writer in Canada feels left out and ignored much of the time. The great thing is that despite this, we have so many great writers doing an amazing job.
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Margaret Gunning I think you guys may have just saved my life!
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Luanne Armstrong Good for you, Margaret, now I am going to look up your work and maybe order some books. It's also hard when we have small publishers ( mine is Caitlin) and depend on their writers to do all the PR. I am not well enough to run around and do that. So, not much more I can do...
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Margaret Gunning Would you like the link to my Amazon author page? It lists all the novels, publishers, etc. Well, here it is!https://www.amazon.com/Margaret-Gunning/e/B001K7NGDA
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Margaret Gunning Luanne Armstrong I think at least one of my novels has been pulped - maybe the first two - because they weren't selling and the publisher didn't have warehouse space for them, so they were destroyed. But there may be a few copies left, and I think Amazon has a few.
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Luanne Armstrong ok -- I'm gonna read up on you anyway. We can complain to each other. I'm fine with that. I don't think there are any real rules on FB yet. There should be. It should be subject to libel and slander and hate speech rules like any other publications. And why people are so rude, I just don't know.
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Sue Reynolds I'm so sorry you had that experience Margaret. When someone tells us how we "should" feel about ANYTHING that complete invalidates the experience we're having. You didn't need to have more shit heaped on top of the way you were already feeling. I'm sorry you're struggling right now.
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Margaret Gunning Oh I don't know, this turned out to be a pretty good day after all! It's the first time I've felt this supported on FB. I appreciate all of it. You make yourself vulnerable when you expose feelings of failure or disappointment in the reception of your work. I find a lot of social media in general is "sunny side up", and that's not of much help.
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Sue Reynolds Well that's making lemonade! Happy to hear of your resilience
                                                   
Margaret Gunning Sue Reynolds A lot of it is age, I think. Being a senior has its points. The pension cheque is great!