Clyde Crashcup Invents Egypt

Clyde Crashcup was one of my favorite childhood cartoon series, and it wasn't even a series. It was a subset of the most DREADFUL cartoon show in animation history (even worse than the dregs of Hanna-Barbera, such as Breezly Bear, Lippy the Lion, Magilla Gorilla and Peter Potamus). I loathed Alvin and the Chipmunks, with their screechy little voices, lame jokes, the boredom of David Seville trying to keep order among the unruly 'monks (and his real name was Ross Bagdasarian) and utterly stupid "songs" which were like being tied to a chair and forced to listen to "Chri-i-i-i-istmas, Chri-i-i-i-istmas, ty-ee-em is nea-a-eearrr" until death.

But I looked forward every week to Clyde Crashcup the mad inventor and his silent sidekick, Leonardo, and was always disappointed when I searched YouTube for it every couple of years and never found a trace of it. Copyright problems? I was even willing to buy a DVD set, but one did not exist except for a sketchy-looking bootleg. When I found these - and they ARE sketchy-looking bootlegs featured on the kind of cartoon channel that suddenly disappears, so you'd better watch them fast - I rejoiced, binge-watched all 12 of them and was hoping for more. 

The thing is, I laughed out loud at many of these, remembered the bizarre quirks of the series as I saw them again, loved the music which was actually very cleverly-written, and especially LOVED Clyde himself. The cartoon's scope was limited, as any sub-category would be, but it had a certain exotic appeal because it was so completely original. No Sneezly Seal, no Goofy Guards or Ricochet Rabbit in sight. The nasal, pedantic voice of Crashcup, which I don't feel like looking up right now (sorry), carried the thing even when it bogged down a bit.

I cannot believe how vividly I remember the one in which Clyde Crashcup invents Egypt. Inventing a whole country and its long, mysterious history is truly remarkable, but when he begins to write rapidly on that blackboard while the frantic music plays, anything can happen. His name, in the era of the Pharaohs, was Puttintut Crashcup.

But what I remember most of all was the music written specifically for this episode. It's simply beautiful, and it did not disappoint, as so many things do that you loved "way back then". It's not that it aged well. It's that it's as funny as hell, STILL, due to its quirkiness, unlikeliness, sheer originality, and even due to the rarity of the episodes.

To find these again was to rediscover a treasure trove from my childhood. To laugh at them again (late at night, trying not to wake my husband) was a treat. And they won't be there long, so don't be surprised to see a blank space here where a video should be. It happens a lot with rare cartoons. Every episode of Top Cat (my absolute favorite of the Hanna-Barbera lineup) appeared on a fly-by-night channel that, yes, disappeared after violating every copyright rule in the book. THOSE episodes were of crystalline clarity and colour, and these are smudgy and faded, which only adds to their charm.

So enjoy this, if you have an inclination, and most of all, enjoy that mysteriously beautiful music, written by who-knows-who (because I don't feel like looking it up on a dismally dark, delugingly rainy, awfully depressing day in early January during a - well, I won't say it. But I don't have to - do I?)

My Clyde Crashcup Playlist!

The Picnic Panic

Whatever this is, it's absolutely beautiful! I found it on animation historian Jerry Beck's Facebook page, which is chock-a-block with schlock (the good kind) and animation obscurities. One thing he does, which I like, is trace the influence of old-time animation (like this) on modern stuff, and it surprises me to learn that some of those traditional techniques are coming back. Most of it seems to be used in games, which strikes me as a waste. But I'm glad about the resurrection of old methods, because the modern stuff is so bloody sterile, I don't want anything to do with it. Mind you, I am a bit fed up with Disney features now and see Fantasia as downright hokey, too self-consciously arty. My fave cartoon characters are still the ones I grew up with: Clyde Crashcup, Choo Choo on Top Cat, Foghorn Leghorn, Yosemite Sam, and even Hoppity Hooper, Tennessee Tuxedo and Cool McCool. (And Mighty Manfred, the Wonder Dog.)

I remember all the theme songs, for some reason, proving my theory that my head is stuffed with information that will never be of any use to me.

The Picnic Panic has a weird aspect ratio, and looks like an almost perfect square, with SOME of the corners blunted like an '80s snapshot, though it seems suspiciously squished. The colours are so gorgeously saturated that I wonder if it has been tinkered with. The combination with live-action is intriguing because the figures are so doll-like. I have a vague memory of a Rainbow Parade series - all the studios had to have something to go up against Disney's Silly Symphonies. They would have been on TV on Saturday mornings, along with 1930s TerryToons. Oh, those days of penny candy in tiny brown paper bags, of going with my mother to Peck's grocery store, and Lenover Bros. meats, then coming home and watching The Mighty Hercules.

Jerry Beck has answered (very promptly) not one, but two of my animation questions so far, and that's remarkable, because according to his Facebook page he bounces all over the globe like a pinball, speaking at convention after convention, so when does he have time for this? But animation continues to fascinate me. I have the bloody nerve to do those experiments and post them, just because I want to see if I can make things move. I get the feeling that, surprisingly to me, Jerry Beck isn't an animation snob - not by the lovely kitsch he posts, pictures of Popeye projectors, metal Porky Pig windup toys and hideous Bugs Bunny cardboard marionettes. It all seems to be valuable. Not just because it's a slice of history - but because it's cool.