And now, for something that DIDN’T appear in Omid Scoobie’s new book!
Harry’s Christmas Carol
On the twelve days of Christmas, my Megsie took from me:TWELVE family memoriesELEVEN peaceful momentsTEN days with WilliamNINE hopes of freedomEIGHT games of poloSEVEN worthy causesSIX royal medalsFIVE . . costly. . .blings!FOUR who were FabTHREE best friendsTWO family jewelsAnd my place in the royal family!
BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. . .
’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
A certain mad duchess chased after her spouse.
All the bathrooms were festooned
and tinselled with care
In hopes that their pal Omid Scobie’d be there.
Then Harry did whimper, “Oh wifey, have mercy!
I’ve forgiven the way that you grin and you curtsey!
Please let me come sleep in my bed in the house!
That chicken coop’s cold! Please have mercy, my spouse!”
Then Scobie himself down the chimney he fell
Just hoping he’d get himself out of this hell.
Poor Omid did moan in dismay and distress
‘Bout being lambasted by those in the press
Who were telling Their Truth about Scobie’s new book:
They were saying he’s lying! They said he’s a crook!
But Omid was only concerned with his safety.
His fear made him look so
dead pale and so pasty
That Megsie, disgusted, said, “Are you a man?”
While he wondered, she ran to dig out a spray can
Which she liberally applied to
his face with a grin
And Scoobie changed color, right down to his chin!
“Take that!” Megsie screamed in her mad duchess way:
“Now you’re just as dark as the lies that they say
In the press about us! Now please leave our house!
You’re a traitor! A turncoat! A scoundrel! A louse!”
So Scobie did slink out of warm Montecito
And knocked on the door of Meg’s Mummy, Dorito
Who took one quick look, then slammed shut her front door.
“You’re just a wax figure! And worse – you’re a bore!”
Then Scobie ran off, while his bronzed face did droop
And bunked down with Harry in the Royal Chicken Coop.
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