La maman toujours prête

And here's the French! The Quebecois casting isn't quite as effective however. The Mom doesn't have that vulpine, three-cornered smile with the slitty Satanic eyes: GOTCHA, you bleepin' bleep, you are NOT going to get away with one-upping me by appearing like a saintly surprise-giver while I stand there with my mouth open, thrown off-balance in that oh-fuck-she's-given-me-something-which-leaves-me-in-a-total-state-of-embarrassed-chagrin way. Yes, ***I*** have triumphed, conquered, VANQUISHED you, I have my foot on your neck in the snow, winning the mean little battle of the gifts with one lousy under-$5-gift from Jesusly WALMART.

And that's the spirit of the season! Wonder if this is available in Lithuanian.