I generally hate these "morphy" things, but I find this arresting. All those facets and angles, some of them radically different - yet there's a still point at the centre, the core of being. I am back in a Vincent stage again, something I come around to eventually. I don't have to explain this, do I?
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Morphing Vincent's self portraits
I generally hate these "morphy" things, but I find this arresting. All those facets and angles, some of them radically different - yet there's a still point at the centre, the core of being. I am back in a Vincent stage again, something I come around to eventually. I don't have to explain this, do I?
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
A cartoon miracle: The Blue Danube
This is something of a cartoon miracle. At least ten years ago, I made a few gifs from an old cartoon. It depicted little cherubs or elves or whatever-they-were, opening some sort of structure like a dam so that water spilled over rocks and tumbled down mountains in a splendid burst of traditional animation. (NOT Disney. Disney was the Edison, the Ford, the Bell of animation, better at stealing/cashing in than innovating.)
Then, of course, I lost the whole thing. It got buried. I only came across those few small gifs again by accident, but I had NO IDEA where they had come from. I squeezed YouTube as hard as I could, looked at every nature cartoon, every cartoon set in a gnome village, ever cherub-frolicking scene I could find. I had no idea even of a title. Finally I emailed Jerry Beck, a sort of cartoon savant, and he came up with the title - and a link to the YouTube video - instantly. I got to watch it exactly once, then "someone" took it down forever, claiming violation of copyright. (On YOUTUBE? Where everyone violates every copyright, right, left and centre?)
But never mind, I found (weirdly) another bootleg version of it with a Grateful Dead song on the sound track. It was pretty grainy and missing half its charm, but I at least got to see that compelling dam-bursting scene with all its Freudian eroticism.
But then this!
I don't even know if it will work, and I don't know why it's still up here if it's taken down on YouTube. And tomorrow it may be down everywhere, so you'd better watch it now.
But never mind, I found (weirdly) another bootleg version of it with a Grateful Dead song on the sound track. It was pretty grainy and missing half its charm, but I at least got to see that compelling dam-bursting scene with all its Freudian eroticism.
But then this!
I don't even know if it will work, and I don't know why it's still up here if it's taken down on YouTube. And tomorrow it may be down everywhere, so you'd better watch it now.
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Sunday, July 8, 2018
Friday, July 6, 2018
Golden lotus: the binding of women's souls
In this excerpt, Fragrant Lotus, a five-year-old girl who already has beautiful tiny feet, is initiated into womanhood by her beloved grandmother. To start the process, she forcibly breaks the little girl’s toes and folds them under the sole.
“Granny’s hands moved fast. She was afraid Fragrant Lotus would start to kick and scream, so she quickly completed the binding. She wrapped the bandage around the four toes, down to the arch, up over the instep, behind the heel, and then quickly forward, over the four toes once again. . . Fragrant Lotus’ mind was filled with waves of pain and pinching, folding and contortion. . . The four toes, now next to the arch, were locked firmly in place, as if by metal bands. They were unable to move, even a minute fraction of an inch.
“. . . She set about collecting shards of broken bowls, spread them on the ground, and smashed them into small, sharp bits. The next time she rebound Fragrant Lotus’ feet, she put the bits of porcelain inside the bandages, along the soles of her feet. When Fragrant Lotus walked, the pottery bits cut into her skin. . . The cut feet suffocated by the bandages became swollen, inflamed, and pus formed in the wounds. Whenever the bindings were changed, the old bandage had to be ripped off, tearing off pus and chunks of rotten flesh. This was an old method in the north China foot-binding tradition. Only when the bones were shattered and the flesh was putrid could the feet be properly molded into the most desirable shape.”
ENOUGH! We won’t get into the way Granny pulls out Fragrant Lotus’ toenails and pounds her feet with a rolling pin to make them more malleable. Though I am sure Jicai did his research with the utmost care (it matches everything I’ve ever found on the subject), at a certain point it becomes too headspinningly horrendous to even take in. How many millions of little girls had their childhood stolen from them in this way, forced to live the rest of their lives with a literally crippling deformity?
But even this isn’t the worst. Jicai also delves into the creepy fetishes men developed around bound feet, which were sometimes unwrapped and “played with” in the marriage bed. Foot competitions, in which feet were judged on size and shape (the smaller and pointier the better) were a common diversion, with women hiding behind screens so that only their deformed feet showed in their three-or-four inch, gorgeously-embroidered, teeteringly high-heeled shoes.
Because of her exquisitely-bound feet, Fragrant Lotus has “married up” into a wealthy family with a typical foot obsession. An impromptu foot contest springs up when a number of perverted old men show up to indulge their fetish. Mr. Lu, a self-appointed expert on the subject, begins to expound:
“Small feet are beautiful or ugly based on their overall appearance, which can be further divided into two elements: shape and form. Let us discuss shape first. There are six terms to describe shape: short, narrow, thin, smooth, upright, and pointed. Short refers to the foot’s length from back to front, and it should be short, not long. Narrow refers to the breadth of the foot from side to side, and it should be narrow, not wide. . . "
"Pointed refers to the toes, which should not be blunt but should come to a sharp point. If they have a slight upward turn, they are even more seductive. However, the degree of upturn should be just right. Too much will cause the point to stand upright, like a scorpion’s tail; too little and it will droop downward, like a rat’s tail. Neither of these will do. And that, gentlemen, completes the discussion of the shape of the lotus.”
It goes on and on from there, for pages and pages, as various points of confirmation are discussed in detail as if the men are talking about flower varieties or dog breeds. The longer you think about this, the worse it gets: these crushed feet are being celebrated, the women’s lifelong crippling lifted up as rare beauty. The most unbelievable aspect of all this is the true meaning of the term “fragrant”: what it comes down to, as far as I can tell, is the horrid whiff of dead flesh coming from the rotting toes.
From a foot binding site come these startling revelations:
“Men who were turned on by bound feet were referred to as “lotus lovers”. They were aroused by the mysterious feet and were thrilled when the cotton covers were taken off. They inhaled the fragrant aroma and took delight in smelling the bared flesh. The husbands would fondle the foot in the palms of his hand before gradually caressing it with his mouth. He would place watermelon seeds or almonds between the toes before eating them from the woman’s foot. Beside these strange fetishes some men would drink the water that had previously been used to bathe the feet. The bound feet would be treasured like gold.”
When Fragrant Lotus loses the foot competition, not by inferior feet but a cheap pair of shoes, she decides to commit suicide: “In the Tong family if your feet were bad, you were finished. This family was like a chessboard, and bound feet were the individual chessmen. One false move and the game changed completely.”
Her only solution is to consult with a foot binding expert who says her feet are not "bowed" enough to be truly beautiful and must be rebound. ("Bowed" refers to the buckling upward of the crushed instep, forcing the front of the ankle to bulge outward.) Thus she experiences the torture of her girlhood all over again in order to gain favor in her own family.
Corsets, high heels, female circumcision, clitoridectomy, where does it stop? Now women are having surgery on their feet to “correct” problems that might keep them from wearing the five-inch skyscraper heels that are currently in fashion. In fact, the newest invention is the "ballet" heel in which the wearer literally walks on the ends of her toes with seven-inch stilts under her heels.
All in the name of fashion, but why? Do women do this for each other? Why are men so afraid of women? Why won’t they let us walk, breathe, have an orgasm? Why was being deformed and crippled such a sexual turn-on in an advanced civilization for a thousand years? Do we really think all this pain is part of the past, has come to an end? Why do women collude with men in taking on so much pain in order to be “beautiful”? What’s beautiful? And why?
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Over-smoked: the miracle of Marlboro
The "miracle", of course, is that these ads were allowed to run at all. They have a bizarre beauty to them, a sort of otherworldliness which I HOPE reflects how much attitudes have changed.
Or not?
CAN attitudes change on a sort of mass level? If they don't, where are we headed? Will this be a slow process, or will we all too quickly plunge headlong into the abyss ?
I grew up in the '60s, when anything seemed possible. Civil rights, women's lib, enlightenment towards the disabled and mentally ill, hope for the poor and marginalized.
What has happened to all that passion and progress?
I feel a great sucking force dragging us backwards. It's not a simple matter of being "over-smoked". The news is becoming more intolerable by the day. When I was a kid, shows like The Twilight Zone were already trying to tell us how intolerable it would be to live in a world run by technology.
There was also this recurring theme of political oppression, a leftover from the Second World War when Fascism came terrifyingly close to achieving world domination.
Is political oppression winning now? Don't ask me, I'm not political, but I do care. I suppose it's too late for me, but I care about the sort of world my grandchildren will inherit.
So the point of all this rambling is: should I have hope? In a few short decades, these cute ads showing babies selling cigarettes became distasteful, then shocking, then completely unacceptable. Having been normalized and even considered a social necessity, cigarettes became heavily stigmatized and thrust outside the bounds of acceptability. Compared to the usual rate of social change, all this happened at light speed.
Can this happen with other things? I mean, right now? WILL it happen, and what will be our fate if it doesn't? The ruthless unravelling of all the passionate progress I've ever seen is breaking my heart. Our chains are being buckled back on, and it looks like there's nothing we can do about it. It's over, that great experiment in social enlightenment which (supposedly) changed everything.
Isn't it? Tell me it isn't - I will take any good news I can get.
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Monday, July 2, 2018
Sunday, July 1, 2018
Saturday, June 30, 2018
What NOT to say to a depressed person
What NOT to say to a depressed person
(A summer repeat, but worth saying again. I believe, at one point or another, I have heard all of these. When a major figure commits suicide, we dust off a lot of homilies, and repeat "reach out for help" with the same regularity as that other meaningless phrase, "thoughts and prayers". It's sad that the onus for "reaching out" is thoughtlessly placed on the suffering person, as if it's an easy thing to do and as if they wouldn't have done it already if they could - and if the help were there. By the responses below, I would say that, in general, it is not.)
“It’s all in your mind.”
“You just need to give yourself a good swift kick in the rear.”
“No one ever said life was fair.”
“I think you enjoy wallowing in it."
"Depression is a choice, you know."
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“Happiness is a choice, you know.”
"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“There is always somebody worse off than you are.”
“You should get off all those pills.”
“You are what you think you are.”
“Cheer up!”
“Have you been praying/reading your Bible?”
"People who meditate don't get depressed."
“You need to get out more.”
"Don't you have a sense of humour?"
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
“Get a job!”
“Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.”
"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."
“But you don’t look depressed. You seem fine to me.”
“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”
“Snap out of it, will you? You have no reason to feel this way.”
“I wish I had the luxury of being depressed.”
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."
"Do you want your family to suffer along with you?"
“Can't you at least make an effort?"
“Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I was depressed once for several
days.”
“Turn it over to your Higher Power.”
“I think your depression is a way of punishing us.”
“So, you’re depressed. Aren’t you always?”
“You’re always so negative! Look on the bright side.”
“What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective.”
"You're a writer, aren't you? Just think of all the good material you're
getting out of this."
“Have you tried camomile tea?”
"I TOLD you to read that book."
"Go out and help someone who is worse off than you and you won't
have time to brood."
“You have to take up your bed and carry on.”
“Well, we all have our crosses to bear.”
"God never gives us more than we can handle."
"I was depressed until I tried yoga."
“You don’t like feeling that way? Change it!"
“SMILE!”
“It’s all in your mind.”
“You just need to give yourself a good swift kick in the rear.”
“No one ever said life was fair.”
“I think you enjoy wallowing in it."
"Depression is a choice, you know."
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
"There are a lot of people worse off than you.”
“But it’s a beautiful day!”
“You have so many things to be thankful for!”
“You just want attention.”
“But it’s a beautiful day!”
“You have so many things to be thankful for!”
“You just want attention.”
“Happiness is a choice, you know.”
"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“There is always somebody worse off than you are.”
“You should get off all those pills.”
“You are what you think you are.”
“Cheer up!”
“Have you been praying/reading your Bible?”
"People who meditate don't get depressed."
“You need to get out more.”
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
“Get a job!”
“Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.”
"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."
“But you don’t look depressed. You seem fine to me.”
“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”
“I wish I had the luxury of being depressed.”
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."
"Do you want your family to suffer along with you?"
“Can't you at least make an effort?"
“Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I was depressed once for several
days.”
“Turn it over to your Higher Power.”
“I think your depression is a way of punishing us.”
“So, you’re depressed. Aren’t you always?”
“You’re always so negative! Look on the bright side.”
"You're a writer, aren't you? Just think of all the good material you're
getting out of this."
“Have you tried camomile tea?”
"I TOLD you to read that book."
"Go out and help someone who is worse off than you and you won't
have time to brood."
“You have to take up your bed and carry on.”
“Well, we all have our crosses to bear.”
"God never gives us more than we can handle."
"I was depressed until I tried yoga."
“You don’t like feeling that way? Change it!"
“SMILE!”
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