This is an actual transcription of an actual Facebook post, just a normal everyday post with the names changed, which for some reason made me want to lean over and howl.
Angelina Bromide
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
FACEBOOK: you're doing it wrong
This is an actual transcription of an actual Facebook post, just a normal everyday post with the names changed, which for some reason made me want to lean over and howl.
The day Marty Scorsese became my friend. . . sort of
I don't have time to be writing this cuzzadafact that my hubby and me will be leaving in a minute to have brunch at a Chinese restaurant we love. We're celebrating something amazing that happened to me last night, something closely connected to my novel The Glass Character, but I can't tell you what it is yet. Let the egg incubate for a while.
It's these phony Facebook pages. Yes, I know, they are probably ubiquitous and usually involve big Hollywood stars. I honestly wonder how many big Hollywood stars have TIME to keep a personal FB page. Anyway, one day a while back I stumbled on a so-called page for Martin Scorsese. There were at least half-a-dozen sites for him, mostly fan sites you'd follow.
I got curious. Hey, what if one of them IS his real FB page? It looks like you can send a friend request. I sent.
Months went by and I forgot all about it. Today I got a notice in my inbox that, yes, Martin Scorsese was now my friend! I was absolutely flabbergasted. Soon I'd be hobnobbing with all the moguls and glamor-pusses of the Silver Screen. Yeeee-owdimus!
But then, I looked a little more closely.
The whole page looked a little "off", somehow. There wasn't much information of any kind. But it plainly said "in a relationship with Marina Filoc". I tried to find out anything about her, but could only determine she could not speak English and worked at a shiatsu clinic.
One of Marty's "posts" pictured Billy Wilder's grave with a caption that read something like, Do not say I am stupid, am only writer. There followed a FLOOD of fawning, ingratiating comments about the post, praising Marty's articulate brilliance. "Am only writer"! Look how he plays with the idiom, ignores it, turns it on its ear! Look how he stands up to the mundane rules of grammar! He is a genius! It went on and on. Oh, Mr. Scorsese, thank you for allowing me to be your friend, I love your work always, I love Taxi Driver, is my favorit movie when it come on theTV at night, etc. etc., hundreds of them.
Uh.
People.
It's not him.
Scorsese has been married to the same woman for years, and her name ain't Marina Filoc. Marina Filoc, who on one site stated that she working her English ver hard to improve, is trying to cash in by hitching her rickety wagon to his oblivious star. Surely if she's Marty's main squeeze, she's going to have lots of attention, plenty of offers for. . . whatever. I guess there are no rules against that sort of thing, against trying to siphon something off in case all that drooling drivel slops over the edge of the bowl.
But it does make you wonder how many other FB pages are completely bogus. After all, it's not strung very tight, is it? You can pretty much be anyone you want to. A 20-year-old shiatsu therapist can suddenly become one of the most powerful figures in Hollywood history, and instantly have thousands of people fawning all over her and believing her without question.
Given the level of discernment we see in the Facebook community, who's going to know the difference?
http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Here they come: those wacky, tacky Screaming Frogs!
As an addendum to my Raise Giant Frogs nightmare post of a few days ago, here is a phenomenon of nature which I hitherto knew nothing about.
When you startle a frog, it screams.
Sometimes it sounds like a prolonged cat-yowl, or a balloon with the air slowly leaking out of the opening.
One wonders at the purpose of the scream, but it would seem to be either self-protective (the people in this video aren't necessarily being very nice to the frogs, and in some cases are actually provoking them) or a general alarm to the whole frog-pond. Human alert - whoop, whoop!
I never knew frogs screamed before, or that frogs could play video games, lunging at screens that have rapidly-moving buglike images on them. Clever? Yes. . . but not TOO clever. Frog might swallow the whole damn thing.
http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html
Girl on the Clock: Harold is everywhere!
How did this ever happen? Perhaps the YouTube video is now unplayable, but I don't think so. Did I delete this post (or a facsimile of it) about the incredible Sofia Vergara Cover Girl makeup ad in which she dangles from a huge clock just like You Know Who?
Anyway, it was here, and then it wasn't. And now it's here again, and I have no idea why I deleted it in the first place, except that maybe I was having one of "those days" when I thought that everything I did was pointless and would never get off the ground.
I don't know if it's my imagination, but I don't think it is: Harold Lloyd seems to be everywhere these days. A few months ago I saw this ad and was astonished. Vergara isn't nearly as cute as Harold, and her heavy accent makes the slogan come out as, "Ea-see, grea-see, beaudd-iful Coavr Grrl."
So what is going on here? How much of it is real, and how much is wishful thinking on my part?
So what will happen then? Will doors swing open for this novel, will I be able to tell my story the way I've longed to for years? Has Harold really penetrated the popular culture the way he did back in 1923? There's something oddly contemporary about him, with his natty suit, specs and neat straw boater. No outlandish makeup, no crossed eyes or facepulling or stony non-expression. Did he have a gimmick? Not really. I think he was merely good.
Make that great.
It's hard to be possessed by something, to not know where it will take you, but at the same time it's incredibly exciting. Some performers don't go away, or else - eerily, we know not how - they come back. It has been a long trudge, with many a twist and turn, and wherever "there" is, I'm not there yet. Do I enjoy the journey? Sometimes. But other times, dear God, I just want to stop for a drink of water.
http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Frogs for Fun and Profit (or: hello, my baby)
Raise Giant Frogs (Jan, 1936)
Raise Giant Frogs
A New, Uncrowded Industry
Good Profits – No Competition
Each pair of “Nufond Giant” breeders lay 10,000 eggs every year. With modern methods, up to 90% turn into frogs.
Giant frogs sell up to $5.00 per dozen everywhere. Think of the profit possibilities! Competition is unknown because the wild supply is practically exhausted.
Backyard Pond Starts You
A small backyard pond 20×25 feed with a little bank space is all you need to start. The pond is very shallow; little water is needed. Expand with the offspring.
Any kind of drinking water is suitable. Running water is not required. Flowers, lilies and plants make the pond very attractive.
Any Climate Suitable
“Nufond Giants” are a hardy breed of “North American” bull-frogs. You can raise them in the North or South, even in Canada.
Costs Little to Start
A frog pond is easy to make. There is nothing to buy except fence! You even raise the food right in the pond with the frogs! What other livestock offers you such advantages?
WORLDS LARGEST FROG MARKET
As originators of canned frog legs, we have developed the largest market for frogs in the world. Our products are on sale in principal cities throughout the country.AMERICAN FROG CANNING COMPANY
Write for our big, illustrated frog book. It explains our money-making proposition in detail.
Dept. 119-A New Orleans, Louisiana
This is one of those gasping, jaw-dropping ads from the 1930s. The contradictions in it are headspinning. "No competition" should tell you something (i. e. nobody in their right mind would want a huge pond full of deafening croakers in their back yard or basement). "Competition is unknown because the wild supply is practically exhausted" is touted as a GOOD thing, not the environmental gut-wrench we feel today. If it's a shallow pond with no running water . . . does the word "swamp" mean anything to you? And what about this "food you raise in the pond right with the frogs"? My God!
Just picture it. . . a pond 20 x 25 feet. . . have you ever heard ONE bullfrog croak, even once? How many of them would be crowded into this "attractive" slime-pit? And all through the reading of this astonishing artifact, I kept wondering: why frogs? Why giant bullfrogs? It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the ad that I knew the sordid truth.
Somebody must have bought into this. I keep thinking of the poor schlubs who, desperate to make a little money during the Depression, actually bought what probably amounted to a slimy bottle of frog's eggs. Either that, or two dead frogs in a box. I wonder if anyone actually made a go of it. And the more I think of it. . . a guy out in his back yard, probably at night, with a shovel. . . his wife doesn't know anything about it. . . then it rains. . .
I would love to send away for their "big, illustrated frog book", but I think by now that the offer has probably expired.
Visit Margaret's Amazon Author Page!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
I hate posting links, but you've got to see this one. . .
http://www.waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways-to-be-insufferable-on-facebook.html
Here is Truth. Faceboob/Fakebook laid bare.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry
Since this is a lovely and balmy day,
Let's look at a certain man today.
Not just any man, you see
But a man who is funny, ho ho ha hee.
Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry
When you come on public television,
it's almost like I die.
When you talked about Wagner
and Hitler and such,
I saw your green jacket
and just liked it so much.
You lost a lot of weight there,
you great big kermudge,
But I'm glad you found a shrink or
your brain might now be sludge.
Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry
When you go off to Bayreuth it just makes me cry.
When you sat down to play that piano so great,
It made my heart kaboom and palpitate.
And you surely got my sympathy vote
When you tried to hit one key and got the wrong note.
And when you did that show on bipolar disorder,
It made me just pack up and run for the border.
You drive me all nutty, I don't know just why.
Maybe you're crazy, that's part of your myth,
And even if you're gay I just wait for your kith.
I found out at last why girls like you so,
And boys of course too, vo-do-de-o-do.
Your face is all craggy, it looks so unique
Like Easter Island or a great mountain peak.
Yes, you have that Stonehenge look, you know
That makes the women moan very low.
I don't know how you do it, so effortless it seems,
So forever, silly person, you will dwell in my dreams.
BLOGGER'S NOTE. This is a summer repeat, but for a good reason: we've been seeing a lot of Stevie in the news these days, sounding off about the wretched goings-on in Russia. And well might he rave. The Russians suck at tolerance and compassion and just throw whatever rocks they want to, and their attitudes are worse than the assholes in that Oscar Wilde movie he was in, so somebody had to get up there and sound off! And who better than our Steve. Besides which, I think a lot more people listen to him than to that boring old Putin. Russians! Remember when Brezhnev opened the Olympics and went up to the podium and said "O, O, O, O, O"? It was the most original thing he ever said. P. S. the formatting is really weird in this one cuz that's how I used to do things before I knew how to blog - I think it looks better actually - good night.
http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html
Harold Lloyd: it's play-time!
If I may repeat the obvious, this blog, formerly titled margaret gunning's house of dreams, has been renamed after Harold Lloyd's famed movie character. For reasons unknown, Harold called his screen persona the Glass Character, which is nice because it sounds so romantical-like and is also a great title for a novel.
Which I have written. Which came out in spring 2014 with Thistledown Press. Watch for it!
Meantime, the search for Lloyd curiosa is endless. I just keep finding things. He was the Star Wars or Sponge Bob of his day, spawning an entire industry of Harold "stuff". Back then the stuff was mostly tin, plastics being pretty much uninvented. These are toys that you just don't see any more, toys that in fact baffle me because I don't know what they frickin' ARE.
Harold Lloyd
Long-Leg, Long-Arm Sparkler
Description
Harold Lloyd Long-Leg, Long-Arm Sparkler Moving
arms and legs. Still emits sparks when plunged. Made by Isla in Spain. Circa
1925. Very rare. From the collection of Gary Selmonsky. Tin. 9".
(Excellent).
About this, I can only say *WTF!?* a few hundred times. I have no idea what a sparkler is, so I've had to come up with a guess. Judging by its arms and legs, which appear to be jointed, this thing must have had a sort of seizure while you "plunged" it. Plunging implying a sort of pumping up and down, as with those old spinning tops. Why would it throw sparks? No doubt the grinding of metal on metal, meaning it might also have made a hideous noise. In the wrong hands, this thing seems dangerous, perhaps a forerunner to the cigarette lighter or barbecue starter. Certainly it should never have been given to children. As for the eyes, or lack of them, I'm glad I don't have one of these around the house because it might turn out to have "powers", I fear of the wrong sort.
Harold Lloyd Bumper Car
Description
Attributed to Gunthermann, c. 1926, clockwork driven, famed character sits at amusement bumper car, very colorful tin lithography, extremely hard to find, scarce version. 51/4" h x 3 1/2" dia.
Now THIS is cute, and I wouldn't mind having one, especially if it still functioned, twirling all over my desk. The depiction of Harold in tin is nicer than most. It reminds me of the movie Speedy and various others in which he hangs out at Coney Island. Imagine if you had a whole lot of them: you could play Harold Lloyd bumper cars all over your desk!
Harold
Lloyd Mechanical Bank
Description
Tin. Saalheimer & Strauss, Germany. Circa
1920s. Pull the lever down. The mouth opens and the tongue sticks out. Place a
coin on the tongue and release the lever. Provenance: F. H. Griffith, Stephen
Steckbeck. Condition Near Mint.
This is also cute, and very fine because Harold looks a whole lot more like his sweet self, except that the eyes are brown which is wrong. Harold had black-Irish or Welsh/Celtic coloring, very black hair, blue eyes and fair skin with copious freckles, which never completely faded with time. No one got it quite right in tin. But this contraption seems all very charming, until you read the description of what it does.
It eats money. Pull a lever down and he sticks out his tongue, and you put a coin on on it and he - oh I don't know, I guess a lot of mechanical banks worked that way back then, and a child might find it enchanting. But it bizarres me out big-time. I hope they didn't have to smash him like a piggybank when he was full.
Harold Lloyd Scissor Toy
Harold Lloyd Scissor Toy
Description
HAROLD LLOYD SCISSOR TOY Die-cut tin scissor-hand held and operated toy with great lithography
Oh Lor', oh Lor', I'm going back to bed now. This is a NIGHTMARE. Harold has a frog on his hat and looks like a dead thing. He isn't even scissors, not actually, though you stick your fingers in those round things (I guess) and work them like scissors. Maybe he lifts up his frog hat or something?
Harold Lloyd Whatever-it-is
Description all written in German, but presumably it's one of those wretched walking windup toys that grimaces and rolls its eyes.
POST-BLOG. While scrounging around for Harold toys, I found this. It's not a toy, and not even an antique, but a darling little glass Christmas ornament made for "the new millennium" (remember that? The big date that completely fizzled?). Probably worth gazillions of dollars, because extremely fragile. My cat used to knock glass ornaments down off the tree and play cat-hockey with
them, stick-handling them under the sofa where they would moulder for years, or (more likely) batting them against the wall and breaking them. Let's just be
grateful he never got his paws on Harold.
ITEM DESCRIPTION
Collect this Golden Age of Hollywood, Christopher Radko "Millennium Clock" Harold Lloyd, mouth-blown and handcrafted Polish glass Christmas tree ornaments, 1999, 99-980-0, 99980.
Produced only for 1999 as one of the millennium exclusives, this European hand blown gl ass ornament promises to endure through the generations! Hard-to-find and sought-after!
The depiction of Harold Lloyd holding on to the clock handle draws upon the famous scene in 1923 film, "Safety Last". Classic ornament that combines the famous clock hanging scene with the onset of the new millennium!
Wearing a green check jacket, brown pants and his trademark hat, Lloyd hangs precariously from the hands of a clock, high above the street where spectators gasp with surprise and horror. Will he fall? And how did he get there?
The death-defying scene, one of the most famous in silent movie history, is taken from "Safety Last", released in 1923. After taking one dangerous step after another to scale the department store in which he works as a low level clerk, his straw hat falls away as he desperately holds on for dear life. However, he wins the $1000 prize by attracting the most ever attention and business to the store, fulfilling his promise to his girl to make good.
On the back of the clock, written in white and surrounded by confetti, is, "Happy New 2000 Millennium". Almost a century later, Lloyd continues to be remembered as one of the great Golden Age of Hollywood greats!
More information about Harold Lloyd:
Along with Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd revolutionized screen comedy, becoming one of the most respected stars of Hollywood's Golden Years, He began his film career after tossing a coin that pointed him towards Hollywood and became the lead in over 200 films from 1915 to 1947. He was the #1 box office attraction from 1927 to 1928 and won an Honorary Academy Award as "master Comedian and Good Citizen" in 1952.
Approximately 4 1/2 inches tall, the ornament has outstanding promise and is a "must have" for the Hollywood Golden Age collector.
CONDITION OF ITEM:
Mint collectible with original Radko hangtag and Radko gift box in excellent condition. Stored in a smoke-free environment.
Listing ID: 64681
(Imagine finding THIS under your tree!)
POST-BLOG BLATHER: I nearly forgot the best part! There's a YouTube video of one of the best Harold windup toys of all. It's pretty hideous, as they all are, but damned if I didn't make them into gifs anyway.
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book
It took me years to write, will you take a look
Order The Glass Character from:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K7NGDA
Barnes & Noble
Thistledown Press
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