Some day you'll be able to eat this!

There’s an ad that comes on TV during the news (which I still watch to see my daughter the reporter), I can’t remember what the ad is for, and it goes like, “Some day you’ll be able to. . . “ in a sort of syrupy, Hallmark Channel woman’s voice. They then show all the things we can’t do: family gatherings with everyone beaming, public events with crowds, weddings, etc. etc. etc. The purpose of this seems to be to make us all feel better about what we are going through now. 

But to me, negative, antisocial me, it’s like sitting a person down at a banquet table and saying, “Some day you’ll be able to eat this”, not having any idea when that “some day” will come (months? Years?). We are also not supposed to complain about our lot, as others always have it far worse, and besides, people got through World War II and the Spanish flu pandemic, didn’t they? Not to mention the Great Plague of Europe. So. . . we must be chipper, upbeat, watch ads about all the things we can’t do, wonder when we WILL be able to do them, and realize (as I have come to realize) that this culture will never be the same. COVID will likely return cyclically like flu viruses, and keep mutating like flu viruses, so we will need to KEEP getting vaccinated and continue to dread it as it becomes more deadly and the viruses become immune to the vaccines. 

Meantime, the mutations seem to get more communicable all the time. Social isolation is already a pandemic and was a serious problem before all this, and will likely escalate and become a sort of new normal. Rebuilding thousands of sunken businesses will be long, laborious, and sometimes impossible. Online sales/service will become much more standard, so people will seldom need to leave the house. These are the things I see happening and which won’t go away. In some instances it’s an advantage: my son can work from home instead of commuting from Port Coquitlam to Vancouver every day. But I keep thinking extroverts must be going through hell now. And even more disturbing is what this is doing to kids: literally robbing them of some of the more fun and stimulating aspects of childhood. 

Christmas was cancelled last year, and we may well have to cancel it again this year – we can’t count on it, for sure. One year in the life of a young child is FOREVER (if you can remember back to what it was like waiting for Christmas), and they can never get that fun and joy back. And what about that SECOND crop of young adults who will be unable to attend their grad - because, for the second year in a row, grad has been cancelled, along with most of the other rites of passage that help to form their adult identity?

Fortunately, most people I know are introverts who don't crave the party scene, but we still feel the lack of ACTUAL contact, as in being in the same room with someone we love. Zoom calls will soon be seen as a standard substitute, and then, once in a blue moon, we’ll see an article about “mental health” which tells us all to take a walk outside, breathe deeply, and think about how great it will be when this is all over. (In truth, it is much more like holding our breath.) Or – even worse – we’ll be told to “reach out for help”, which was never there to begin with (sorry, we have no beds. Here’s a prescription. Now go home and behave yourself). There apparently are computerized therapists now who just repeat back the last thing you said with a question mark at the end of it. Or Siri will talk to us! She’s always good for a chat.

Gilded Age, Gilded Cage: Victorian/Edwardian corset queens

 

The Troll Doll Channel: Troll Romance - and DISASTER!

My Grumpy Troll Sextette sings an old-timey tune, while Hugo the white-haired Lothario tries to woo the fair Simone. This leads to bitter rivalry (not really), and the inevitable romantic disaster.

Retrofuturist family: “We’ve gotta SLOW DOWN!”

A great example of retrofuturism. 

The worst item I've ever seen on eBay

 

VINTAGE STIFF RUBBER 

GINGERBREAD LOOK BOY BANK 

BY ROY DES of FLA 

EARLY!

I am not sure if he was a blank because the 

bank slot is not open.

We have a small discoloration on the back of the head which is somewhat red please look at the picture.

He has some texture in the body with a great face with a smile. The features on face are molded in the face.

The foot is marked Roy Des of Fla but is like it was smeared and hard to read.

He is very nice shape and somewhat odd.
He is 8.5 inches tall 

Item specifics

Condition:	Used : An item that has been used previously. See the seller’s listing for full details and description of any imperfections. See all condition definitions- opens in a new window or tab
Seller Notes:	“This flesh colored kitchy type gingerbread doll bank is somewhat odd, but very nice!”

PRICE: CA $97.00

MONMON CATS by Kasuaki Horitomo!

 

Links to my YouTube channel, YouTube, and Blogger

Links to my YouTube channel, YouTube, and Blogger

Margaret Gunning magunning@telus.net

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd9Gtf_dCA7fkyDE62Z2GpA 

https://www.youtube.com/ 

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.com/

Slinky + Escalator = WIN

              The SLINK-U-LATOR!

"Has anybody seen our cat?"

The reality of mental illness (or: let's REALLY talk!)

 

Something has been bothering me, a lot, and I’ve gone back and forth on posting about it. Originally I was going to make a YouTube commentary, but couldn’t bring myself to do it without going off the deep end. Then I thought of Facebook, but knew I could get myself into all kinds of trouble there, and that’s the last thing I want.

This incident happened some months ago, when I saw a rare post from a Facebook friend whose posts never seemed to show up in my feed (and only about 10 per cent of my “friends” ever appear there. It's always the same-old. The reason? Facebook assumes that, because they're in my feed a lot, it’s what I want, so gives me “more of the same”). 

In typical Facebook fashion, this is someone I know of, but don’t know personally, and with whom I have over a hundred Facebook friends in common. In part due to his platform as an edgy "alternative" arts journalist, he has been quite open about his lifelong struggles with mental illness, believing (and I truly agree with this) that this topic needs to be hauled out of the shadows where it never belonged in the first place. But something was very amiss with his post. 

I went on his page to see what was going on. The posts were strange and kind of scary. He used the word “manic” several times, in a lot of different connotations (including some crude sexual references the likes of which I could not find anywhere else on his page). There were veiled and not-so-veiled references to self-destruction and violent death. This made me very uneasy, but far worse than that were the comments: the dozens of “LOLs” and “right ons” and even “awesomes”, as if his readers were finding all of it hugely entertaining.

In spite of or maybe because of the work he had done illuminating mental health issues, people apparently thought this was some kind of exuberant prank and were egging him on. Meantime, hints of suicide kept showing through. He mentioned looking down the seventeen stories of his apartment building and imagined “impaling myself on the maples below”. More LOL’s, more “right ons”, dozens of idiot emojis - and (worst of all) “Hey, we’ve all been there” (which we HAVEN’T. Nothing is more bogus and potentially dangerous as empty, false “empathy”, pretending to know what it feels like when you absolutely do NOT. It’s like saying you know about cancer from a mosquito bite.) 

The posts escalated, becoming more florid and making less sense, along with photos that were increasingly alarming, until someone – a family member, I believe - posted with great urgency that anyone who had seen him should contact the family immediately. They didn’t know where he was.

Most of the comments by now expressed concern, but there were still a few dimwitted remarks (“Hey, it's all good! You’re Canada’s gonzo journalist, mate!”) People who compare someone to Hunter S. Thomson should be reminded of how his life ended, with a single gunshot wound to the head. 

When the family finally announced they had called the police, most were relieved, but others still went on and on about “oh, no, you didn’t call the COPS on him!” The trouble with unburying mental illness from its airless crypt is that you uproot a whole array of primitive, ignorant, even goddamn stupid attitudes that go with it, such as denial and misperception and totally inappropriate “seeing the funny side” when it really isn’t too damn funny at all. I'm not against it, but humor about such a subject only comes in retrospect. Perspective equals time plus distance. Can you make jokes about heart disease when you’re flat on your back and fighting for your life?

There was a brief update from his brother about how grateful he was to the police for getting him safely to the hospital. This seemed to shut up the idiot Greek chorus for a while. "Police" is such a knee-jerk term, especially to jerks who don't think. The police are trained to deal with people in all kinds of distress, for all kinds of reasons, and for the most part, they do their job very well. But people still use terms that reflect very dated, primitive thinking: "they dragged him off", "they threw him in a mental hospital", etc., when very likely no person was "thrown" at all. Some still use that most horrendous and dehumanizing of terms: "they put him away". It's one of those holdovers from another century (or two) that deserves to disappear.

I see two kinds of posts on FB about the “hot topic” of mental health (the term seemingly replacing “mental illness”, which assumed you could never be well): boilerplate posts as ready-made as a microwave dinner (“Most of you won’t even bother to read this far” and “copy and paste this message, DON’T share, just to show you care!”, emoji, emoji, emoji). I always have the vague uneasy feeling that someone is making money off these things. To alleviate that vague guilt that hangs around most of us these days, people WILL copy and paste the thing, hoping they've done their bit to "raise awareness" and can just get on with their day.

The other approach is much like the “cancer awareness” thing where it seems like a bunch of cheerleaders waving pink pom-poms. In this case, God only knows where your donations end up. I’m not saying we shouldn’t address the subject - quite the opposite. But let’s really talk, talk about things that are real and painful, not spout easy platitudes and rah-rah for the team. Believe it or not, there is a time when "being positive" is the last thing you need to do. 

I think depression and PTSD have largely come out of the closet, which is a start, though celebrities still “admit” they suffered from depression years and years ago (NEVER recently – that’s still too great a risk). PTSD is associated with first responders, military heroes, sometimes cops, but that’s about it. If you were sexually abused as a child and can barely function, that’s not it, it has to be called something else. Due to media emphasis and a certain level of social discomfort, PTSD has been largely claimed by heroic figures running into burning buildings. People insist they’re even more heroic for the tremendously risky act of seeking help.

I won't say much about myself because it is too excruciating, except to say that when I "disclosed" to a literary agent that I have bipolar disorder, she emailed me back with two words: "You're brave." It struck me as a remark along the lines of, "I wish I had the nerve to wear that dress." The "brave" thing was weird, because I could have bipolar disorder and be the biggest chicken on the block. Having it doesn't automatically make you "brave". So I guess she thought I was brave to have the nerve to tell her such a thing. I was left with the feeling that I had done something that had made her profoundly uncomfortable.

I like to say, and often people don’t have a clue what I mean, that when it comes to mental illness, we haven’t had our Stonewall yet. We're about where LGBTQ people were in 1970. Why do I insist on being so "negative"? Every day, people bandy about terms like “whack job”, "psycho", "fruitcake" and “nut bar”, expressing casual contempt for people who, like my Facebook friend, COULD NOT HELP his behaviour, because that is the nature of the illness. The mentally ill are the very last group of people in our culture whom you can vilify, mock and dismiss with no penalties, because no one even notices you’re doing it. We all say those things, don’t we? Why is it such a problem? It doesn’t really mean anything. Can't we say anything any more? Why are you so damned oversensitive? 

I lost a beloved brother, the one confidante and support I had in a childhood lived in an emotional war zone, to the damaging effects of schizophrenia, back when all they could do for people was drug them senseless to keep them from “acting out”. And yes, sometimes we lost track of him, didn’t know where he was and had to call the police, and it was horrific. Then when the worst happened, my mother-in-law said to me in a terrible double-entendre, “at least now you know where he is.” 

Why does it have to get that bad? It doesn't. If the health care system were more complete, if there were enough beds, if people would drop their mockery and horror and act human, as human as they probably could be if they tried - but I digress. My point is, what you say reflects what you think. It displays your understanding or your ignorance, not just to your Facebook friends but to the world. 

Sometimes the less you say the better. Just keep it simple. Take care. I love you. Be well.

Why is "sight-shaming" still acceptable?

 

 

I am in a mood of mild but pervasive dread, and I'll tell you why. I have not had my eyes tested in so many years, I don't even remember. I have likely had vision problems since early childhood, though I didn't get glasses until I was eight. Since then it has been ever-stronger prescriptions, including the "progressives" I now wear for both distance and reading.

Well, it's time I got them checked again. My daughter has just undergone serious surgery on her eye, and will need it on the other eye, for a curvature that can only be corrected surgically. She will be off work for weeks, and right now can barely see at all, so can't even read or watch TV. My husband only found out he has cataracts from an eye test. I HAVE to do this, but this foot-dragging isn't just pandemic-related (though absolutely EVERYTHING is pandemic-related now, isn't it?)

This was a long time ago, but it left me feeling so lousy the memory stayed clear (so to speak). I had the standard eye test, then handed the optician my prescription. She ever-so-slightly pulled the paper back in her hand and said, "Whoahhh." This was very up-and-down-inflected. I gave her an inquiring look, and she said, "This is really strong." I should have turned on my heel and walked out, but it was one of those things where you can't quite believe what you heard. I even got my frames from those people. Today I would report anyone who said anything like that.

 

 

  
But it was sight-shaming, and I do wonder - well, who the HELL in the optical business would do a thing like that? Can I HELP having very poor eyesight and wanting to correct it? It's bad enough that I already LOATHE the endless "is this one clearer, or this? Is this one clearer, or is this? Is this one clearer. . ." until I want to scream, since they all look the same. The top letter on the eye chart is blurry, and I always get a chuckle from someone over this. I have gotten used to trying to treat it like a joke.

This may be seen as humorous, but without my glasses I am close to legally blind and cannot function. If I suddenly lost them, I'd be helpless. So this is a cause for exclamations of surprise? Especially said in that "wow!" tone. So I drag my feet and even feel some anxiety and feel bad and stupid for FEELING that anxiety, because, for God's sake, that was years ago and it is only a routine eye exam!! But that is just how things are now. Bad memories are on repeat, or perhaps a better term is speed-dial, and have been for ten or eleven months now. I can't imagine why.

BLOGGER'S NOTE. The two photos above are from that long-ago time when glasses frames were huge. Since I already had a very high-index prescription and glasses were actually made of glass, and extremely thick compared to the high-tech lenses of today, I fairly often heard remarks along the lines of, "I just can't believe how thick those are." I also had them compared to Coke bottle bottoms. It seems to me that, from Mr. Magoo to Helen Keller, people with visual disabilities are targets for mockery far more often than those with, say, hearing impairment. We don't see a man wearing a hearing aid and say, "Whoahh!" - or, at least, I hope not. We don't see someone in a wheelchair and say, " I cannot believe you're in that chair." It's just stupid.

 

Oh, and one more thing - probably more than one. At least back then, people would literally snatch the glasses right off my face, try them on and exclaim, "WOW! Are you ever blind!", or even, "How do you SEE through those things?" I guess it's a little bit harder to yank a hearing aid out of someone's ear.

 

 

30-line TV: images from 1930 television broadcast

 

 

 

 A stunning example of Baird's pioneering 30-line TV system, first broadcast in 1930. 

(But who had a TV back then - ??)

Shenandoah

I first heard this truly exquisite version of one of my favorite folk tunes many years ago on the radio, and tried to track it down for years. Finding it again was one of those VERY rare occasions of joyful rediscovery that happen on the internet. It is like a distillation of all the finest movie scores from those classic Westerns which idealized everything about America's tawdry, bloody, unforgiveable history. The music has a golden, shimmering translucence, and holds up a lens to view an America that never was, but which Americans still yearn for as "what might have been". But in itself, it is stunning and unabashedly glorious, and I get prickles and goose-bumps and my hair stands on end whenever I hear it. So I share it here. I'm trying my best now to put out a certain energy which runs counter to everything I feel, because I do not want to feed a dragon which could all too easily defeat me for good.

UNIVAC: the Giant Electronic Brain!

The Troll Doll Channel: DOUBLE RAINBOW!

A video from my "troll doll channel", which is a subset of ferociousgumby. I LOVE the Double Rainbow guy! 

(Note: for those who may be following this blog, I'm going to be posting some of my videos now just to get me through this ALMOST worst of all possible times. I have fun making these, and more fun sharing them, even if only a handful of people ever see them. For now, that is the energy I want to put out.)

Christopher Walken as child actor in strange 1953 TV appearance

'

Though Christopher Walken insists he had a swell childhood, it looks as if he endured some nasty treatment as a child actor. Here Jerry Lewis acts like the asshole he is, shaking and shoving poor Chris (then known as Ronnie) in a way which I HOPE would not be tolerated today.

CLOWN RAGE! Clarabell throws HUGE temper tantrum

Clarabell the Clown throws a HUGE temper tantrum on Howdy Doody. Buffalo Bob has to physically restrain him. Clowns were creepy then, too. 

I was fascinated to learn in my Clarabell deep dive that he was played by three different actors during the show's (interminable) 13-year run. The first Clarabell was none other than Bob Keeshan, who went on to greater fame as Captain Kangaroo. I watched the Captain every day of my childhood and loved it, especially the primitive "hand-made" animations that were kind of similar to the things I do on YouTube. It involved a kind of stop-motion with pieces of construction paper pulled around on a board. 

I don't know which Clarabell this is, but I don't think it's Bob Keeshan. The few clips I've found show that he was a gentler, more whimsical character than his successors, relying on facial expressions rather than thick layers of rather hideous-looking makeup. 

KINESCOPE THEATRE: Whistling Clowns from 1940s TV

The Dumont Television Network was a very big deal in the 1940s - the ONLY deal, for that matter, with programming so crude it's hard to believe people were so excited about it. But it was the only game in town, so they had nothing to compare it to. Early TVs were always in a cabinet with folding doors that kept it hidden. People were not used to that big staring glass eye in their house, and thought it was ugly and had to be covered up. Many people actually believed the people in "TV Land" could see THEM, which made them uncomfortable. 

But Dumont programming is time travel at its finest. It was difficult for them to find enough programming to fill the six or eight hours or so of their broadcast day. Dramas were 15 minute long, but variety shows like the Admiral Broadway Revue (most shows were named after their sponsors, like the Autolite Suspense Theatre) went on forever and were performed on a stage like vaudeville. This astonishingly weird clown routine went on for more than FOUR minutes! For reasons I can't quite explain, I find these videos fascinating, and the grainier, blurrier and more primitive they are, the more I love them. 

He not busy being born (a few timely quotes)

 

l

Why the United States is self-destructing before our eyes

I have tried to remain as apolitical as possible over the years, mainly because there are elements of politics that make me so physically and mentally sick that I can't engage with the subject. But today is different.

I have some things to say to our neighbor to the South, as we watch all these atrocities in utter horror. Much has been made in the media about how the barbarians are "at the gate". Wrong. These thugs are not "AT" the gate. They trampled the gate down and ransacked the symbolic heart of government, putting everyone's lives at risk for hours while the cops stood back, posed for selfies with white supremacists, and even directed traffic, showing the mob the way to those offices that are so hard to find. Have you forgotten that already? How short is your attention span? 

Everyone is now talking in circles, "discussing" whether they "should" try to stop this monster right away rather than allow his white supremacist lackeys to re-organize and try it again, perhaps tomorrow or the next day, or even TODAY. But the Proud Boys and neo-Nazis will not just quietly retreat while you wait until Biden takes power. Biden (whom I have respected up to now) is putting the whole situation on hold and passing the buck on impeachment for six months so he will have a nice opportunity to establish his policies without "distractions".

Meanwhile, holding your breath for twelve more days (which was actually floated as a "strategy") doesn't sound too rational to me. When the next attack comes - WHEN, not if - more lives will be lost. Perhaps, astoundingly more. This time it was "only" five, and by US standards, five lives lost doesn't seem to even qualify as a mass shooting. It's small potatoes, perhaps the price of doing business with Trump. 

WAKE UP! Trump is a criminal and should be arrested and jailed NOW, in a maximum security prison. It is the only response that makes any sense at all. His followers are killers, and an even more formidable force now because a splinter group is forming which is furious with Trump and feel disillusioned and betrayed. They are capable of ANY kind of insurrection which comes to their evil minds. Remember history - Hitler's own henchmen tried to assassinate him more than once, not to free their country from tyranny but so that THEY could seize power.

Ruthless, soulless people will turn on the one they worshipped in a heartbeat, leading to incalculably more violence and bloodshed - while the "discussion" goes on and on, going in useless circles while nothing is done. COME ON, PEOPLE! Be responsible and sane, and ACT. Are you scared you'll maybe break one of the rules? WHAT RULES? They have been smashed all to pieces! Mass arrests are happening now, the guys wearing furs and horns and waving American flags with bayonets on them, but meanwhile the ringleader is humored and allowed to go on untouched for another 12 days - for the same reason he has gone on untouched for four years, even after he was formally impeached.

 EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF HIM. 

Everyone - the nation, the cops, the President-elect, and most especially, his own corrupt party - is terrified of this man, too terrified and paralyzed to DO anything. It is as if they are "waiting", buying themselves time and refusing to act quickly enough to save the nation.

You people are afraid of your own President, a direct result of allowing yourselves to be ruthlessly bullied and cowed for four years. It's too late for clever Randy Rainbow parodies and Alec Baldwin caricatures that have enabled people to laugh about and distance themselves from the horror for so many years. Humor is a distancing tool and a coping mechanism, but it is in shreds and tatters now. It's not funny any more, and trying to pretend it is will only make things worse.

As a Canadian, I have to watch all this, powerless and sickened and VERY afraid - not of Trump, but for the safety and even the existence of your nation, and, unavoidably, our own. You are on the brink, and having "ongoing discussions" and talking in endless circles while Biden sits on his hands and the fascist yahoos cry for more blood. What does it take for you to act?

"Come senators, congressmen, please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the halls
For he who gets hurt will be HE WHO HAS STALLED
The battle outside raging
Will soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
For the times, they are a-changin'."

- Bob Dylan (Nobel Laureate), 1963

Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin' (Audio)

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Bob Dylan

Come gather 'round people, wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'

Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide, the chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon, for the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who that it's namin'
For the loser now will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'

Come senators, congressmen, please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt will be he who has stalled
The battle outside ragin'
Will soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'

Come mothers and fathers throughout the land
And don't criticize what you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'

The line it is drawn, the curse it is cast
The slow one now will later be fast
As the present now will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin'
And the first one now will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'

The $1,415.95 Troll!

Vintage Troll Figure. Tab Troll? Russ Troll? Dam Troll?

Item Information
Condition:
Used

Price:
US $1,000.00   (approximately C $1,274.20)

Shipping: 

US $28.22     (approx. C $35.96) 

International Priority Shipping to Canada

Item location:
Madison, Wisconsin, United States
Ships to:
United States and many other countries
Import charges:
US $89.30 (amount confirmed at checkout) 

Vintage Troll Figure. Seemingly Rare. Tab Troll? Russ Troll? Dam Troll? Stands about 4 inches tall.

I’m not really sure what troll type it is. Never seen another of these ceramic figures. I’ve tried searching for it. Also tried looking for molds that would cast this little guy.

Don’t really want to sell it, so I went for a high price. I will package with extreme care if it sells. Thanks for looking.

(Blogger's note. This is the actual eBay listing for this unbelievable little spud. From the back, it looks like a ceramic mushroom. Adding all the charges together, and converting the amount to Canadian dollars, this little oddity totals $1,415.95. In my vast experience as a troll-hound/hoarder/frequent buyer, I have NEVER seen a price like this for a bitty ceramic thing that has no known origin. I honestly wonder if this guy hopes no one will bid on it, but it's a  pretty safe bet that no one will. BTW, I do know a bit about ceramic trolls, and run across them every couple of weeks, usually priced in the $50.00 - $100.00 range. So much for rare.)

Clyde Crashcup Invents Egypt

Clyde Crashcup was one of my favorite childhood cartoon series, and it wasn't even a series. It was a subset of the most DREADFUL cartoon show in animation history (even worse than the dregs of Hanna-Barbera, such as Breezly Bear, Lippy the Lion, Magilla Gorilla and Peter Potamus). I loathed Alvin and the Chipmunks, with their screechy little voices, lame jokes, the boredom of David Seville trying to keep order among the unruly 'monks (and his real name was Ross Bagdasarian) and utterly stupid "songs" which were like being tied to a chair and forced to listen to "Chri-i-i-i-istmas, Chri-i-i-i-istmas, ty-ee-em is nea-a-eearrr" until death.

But I looked forward every week to Clyde Crashcup the mad inventor and his silent sidekick, Leonardo, and was always disappointed when I searched YouTube for it every couple of years and never found a trace of it. Copyright problems? I was even willing to buy a DVD set, but one did not exist except for a sketchy-looking bootleg. When I found these - and they ARE sketchy-looking bootlegs featured on the kind of cartoon channel that suddenly disappears, so you'd better watch them fast - I rejoiced, binge-watched all 12 of them and was hoping for more. 

The thing is, I laughed out loud at many of these, remembered the bizarre quirks of the series as I saw them again, loved the music which was actually very cleverly-written, and especially LOVED Clyde himself. The cartoon's scope was limited, as any sub-category would be, but it had a certain exotic appeal because it was so completely original. No Sneezly Seal, no Goofy Guards or Ricochet Rabbit in sight. The nasal, pedantic voice of Crashcup, which I don't feel like looking up right now (sorry), carried the thing even when it bogged down a bit.

I cannot believe how vividly I remember the one in which Clyde Crashcup invents Egypt. Inventing a whole country and its long, mysterious history is truly remarkable, but when he begins to write rapidly on that blackboard while the frantic music plays, anything can happen. His name, in the era of the Pharaohs, was Puttintut Crashcup.

But what I remember most of all was the music written specifically for this episode. It's simply beautiful, and it did not disappoint, as so many things do that you loved "way back then". It's not that it aged well. It's that it's as funny as hell, STILL, due to its quirkiness, unlikeliness, sheer originality, and even due to the rarity of the episodes.

To find these again was to rediscover a treasure trove from my childhood. To laugh at them again (late at night, trying not to wake my husband) was a treat. And they won't be there long, so don't be surprised to see a blank space here where a video should be. It happens a lot with rare cartoons. Every episode of Top Cat (my absolute favorite of the Hanna-Barbera lineup) appeared on a fly-by-night channel that, yes, disappeared after violating every copyright rule in the book. THOSE episodes were of crystalline clarity and colour, and these are smudgy and faded, which only adds to their charm.

So enjoy this, if you have an inclination, and most of all, enjoy that mysteriously beautiful music, written by who-knows-who (because I don't feel like looking it up on a dismally dark, delugingly rainy, awfully depressing day in early January during a - well, I won't say it. But I don't have to - do I?)

My Clyde Crashcup Playlist!

The Last Supper as a Zoom call: it's a sign of the times

2021: Happy Mew Year!

 

Happier New Year from Margaret and Bentley! 

Tiny kitten falls over

IT'S HERE! Official guidelines for safe sex in 2021

Somehow I missed this one! I had to blink twice when I saw it. There were many other suggestions for "safe sex" that made no sense to me, but I couldn't bear to list all of them - including, horrors, the "m-word", which the article recommended for men. This is in case it didn't occur to them, or they needed government approval to do so.

The hole-in-the-wall/f***-a-chicken thing (or cut a hole in a watermelon?) is also meant specifically for MEN to find sexual release. All the tips named were oriented thusly, since it goes without saying that women (well, maybe "good" women) are too busy trotting around looking after everyone else to even THINK about "s - e - x".

Try ‘glory holes’ for safer sex during coronavirus, B.C. CDC says

By Josh K. Elliott Global News

B.C. health officials are recommending an age-old, occasionally cutting-edge tactic for sex during the coronavirus pandemic: “glory holes.”

The B.C. Centre for Disease Control added new recommendations for socially distant sex to its COVID-19 website this week. One of those tips was to try using a “glory hole” — a hole cut into a wall that’s only large enough for a penis to slip through.

Glory holes are typically used for anonymous oral or penetrative sex, according to Urban Dictionary, but they’re also an excellent way to limit physical contact during intercourse, the B.C. CDC says.

“Use barriers, like walls (e.g., glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact,” the health organization writes on its website

The recommendation is just a tip and not a firm rule, according to the website.

 

NOTE: the "tip/firm rule" thing is pretty funny, after all. My mind won't go there when I try to envision any kind of partner on the other side of the drill-hole in the wall, trying desperately to find "something" on the other side. I'm also trying NOT to picture the bizarre arguments between couples: "My God, Ralph, you're going to drill a HOLE in the living room wall?" "But B. C. Health officials said I should." Some men with insecurities may worry it may soon pass into law, with fines or even arrests for "normal" missionary sex with no pesky need to please a partner.

This may lead to yet another uniquely pandemic-related shortage. Will power-drills soon be gone off the shelves? And doesn't this sort of lend credence to calling sex "drilling"? Just thinking out loud. But in this Brave New World, sex partners may well be a thing (pardon the expression) of the past - SOLVING the overpopulation problem once and for all! So there's definitely a silver lining. 

But once this is all over, if it ever is, sales of drywall and Polyfilla will go through the roof - so to speak - as embarrassed men realize just what it is they've been doing for so many months. And doctors may be facing a whole new medical issue in men, which I cannot and will not get into.

 

Newborn Goat Hector Makes Friends with Barn Kittens

When things get grim, I gots to get me some Sunflower Farm baby goat videos. And kittens that are bigger than the kids! I am beginning to think that videos like these, along with sour peach rings from the Superstore and getting a video of a cormorant on my walk, are what is helping us survive these desperately awful times. What's helping YOU get through? 

Merry Christmas - and GOODBYE, 2020!

Merry Christmas from The Blogger (and Bentley)!

1950s Hospital Of The Future, With Sliding Baby Drawer

Of all the horrendously dated, unenlightened videos I've ever seen, this one takes the cake - and the candles, too. In fact, it takes the whole birthday. EVERY feature of this new, state-of-the-art hospital, from bombarding the entire body to 360-degree x-rays to keeping a newborn baby in a sliding drawer, now seems like something out of a horrifying George Orwell novel. But it reveals the roots of impersonal, even dehumanized and dehumanizing hospital "care" which I believe is still the norm. Herd 'em in, and slide 'em out. Imagine if your very first experience after your birth was being stored in a drawer! 

Just one beautiful photo. . .

 

The Chipmunk Song Slowed Down

Ye-e-e-e-e-ss, it's those crazy, wacky chipmunks again, singing The Chipmunk Song, which sounds about as festive as hitting yourself on the head with a hammer. Repeatedly. So that you never have to listen to it again. BUT - and this is a big but - this video reveals what the song would sound like if the chipmunks were on normal speed. It's pretty scary, especially at the end when it becomes downright disturbing. Low, slow voices and normal men's voices (actually, ONE man, David Seville, born with an ethnic-sounding name which I forget) begin to bellow at each other aggressively. A bunch of thugs! Happy listening. 

P. S. His name was Ross Bagdasarian, and I am not sure what nationality he was! Assuming he's dead by now. Here's Wiki:

David Seville is a fictional character, the producer and manager of the fictional singing group Alvin and the Chipmunks. The character was created by Ross Bagdasarian Sr. Bagdasarian had used the name "David Seville" as his stage name prior to the creation of the Chipmunks, while writing and recording novelty records in the 1950s. One of the records, recorded in 1958 under the David Seville stage name, was "Witch Doctor", featuring a sped-up high-pitched vocal technique. Bagdasarian would later use that technique in "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)", which would introduce both Alvin and the Chipmunks as a singing group and Bagdasarian's music producer "Dave". Bagdasarian would go on to create The Alvin Show, based on the Alvin and the Chipmunks group, where he voiced the semi-fictional character David Seville based largely on himself, with Alvin based on Ross's sometimes rebellious son Adam.

.

"Theodore. Simon. Adam. Adam.     . . . AAAA-DAAAAAAMMMM!" 

"O-KAY!" 

(Just doesn't sound quite the same, does it?)

Weird dream #496: on the bayou

Weird dream #496. This one seems more pandemic-related, like everything these days. I had a hair appointment AT LAST, after nearly a year of cutting my own hair. But even though I had been going there for fifteen years, I couldn’t seem to find the salon. “Someone” pointed and said, “You have to walk that way.” Stretched out in front of me, I saw a long, long foot bridge – almost a rope bridge – suspended over a flooded area. Half the bridge was underwater, and I said, “I can’t walk over that!” “Someone” said, “This IS the bayou,” as if I was being silly and demanding. I kept thinking of Hurricane Katrina and wondering how it could have come here. Then “someone else” (looked like a nurse!) told me, “Oh for heaven’s sake, THAT’S not how you get there!” Then I was on a boat. I thought “water taxi?” (thinking of Venice), but it was more like a small pleasure craft. We zoomed along on choppy waters for a long time. Then I realized we were going nowhere. I woke up, got out the razor comb, and trimmed my own hair. AGAIN.

Dreamy ducks: reflections on the lake

This is one of my loveliest duck videos from Como Lake. Pure poetry on the water. Being in nature is the one thing keeping me more-or-less sane during these unbalanced, unbelievable times. 

Victorian Colouring Pages

 

Christopher Walken's FIRST movie role!

Most of my videos get, like, 27 views if I'm lucky (they're a "success" if they break ten), but this one is fast approaching 100,000. If you're a Walken fan, you  may enjoy this curiosity, in which he out-performs everyone else in this rather silly movie.

Compare and contrast. . . I made this slideshow as a tribute to his delightful weirdness. 

Hula Cats Christmas - again!

YESSSS, it's the Hula Cats Christmas - again. The cat singing or meowing Silent Night was the inspiration for the Jingle Cats - or should I say, the Jingle Cats were a direct ripoff - except THOSE meows were heavily synthesized. The hula dance is nothing less than inspired, but I can't find the name of the original animator anywhere. As usual, it has been posted and re-posted into oblivion. Right now, it's the only Christmas reference I can bear. Wouldn't be Christmas (which it isn't) without the Hula Cats! (As an aside, I overheard someone sum up the year 2020 as follows: "January, February, PANDEMIC, December." Just about right.)

Making A Sh*tty Dress To Mark The End of a Sh*tty Year

I haven't even watched this yet, but the title was irresistible! I love this woman's videos - she's a costume historian from Poland, and very funny as well as knowledgeable. Hope you enjoy this! If it's not so good, I'll take it down. I promise. 

I've been looking for this all my LIFE!

 

This was on the back page of a teeny little 2020 calendar that I got free from a realtor. You no longer get free calendars, but just as I was about to pitch it out, I saw this! I scanned/blew it up and could not believe how good it looked, so have been sharing it far and wide. I have waited most of my life for a handy, clear conversion chart for the most common measurements. And it was here all the time! 

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN: People are strange

FINALLY, at long bloody last, this has posted, and I think it's OK. It was totally mangled by YouTube. When  it had been up for 2 years, to my horror, I discovered that all the edits had "come off" and all I had was raw footage, with the soundtrack in the wrong place (ending 30 seconds before the end!). YT would not allow me any further edits and indicated the soundtrack had been muted, which it hadn't. All I could do to salvage it was film it off my monitor with my ancient camcorder, then delete the original, which gave it a second-generation look. But maybe that's OK. Walken has that, too. 

MANDARIN DUCKS; incredibly rare sighting on Burnaby Lake! (part one)

More Mandarin ducks on Burnaby Lake! Since there are NO birds in the back yard (a bear once again ripped our feeders apart), this makes up for it, sort of. The birds will be back, I hope.