HORSE FAIL

Soul of the horse

IT'S AMAZING! Animated leprechaun cat

Little leprechaun kitten!

Woman Struck by lightning speaks!

The most bizarre video I have ever seen (no, I mean it)

God save me from this video (one of the worst I've ever seen). It's from a ghastly, creepy kids' show of the 1950s called Andy's Gang. I'm going to be posting more about this show - if I can stand it (must. . . write. . . post. . . ). It involves a truly shameful form of animal abuse which people found quite amusing back then. Those who have carefully analyzed this few minutes of film (and I've studied it as minutely as if it were the Zapruder footage) believe that the hamster actually dies at the 1:05 point.

Sweet surprises!

Some of my favorite Lucky Charms commercials from the 1960s. I especially like the fact that the "rainbow" colours all come out in shades of grey. This reminds me of Dorothy stepping into Oz. None of us knew that the picture turned to colour at this point, because none of us had SEEN it in colour. So he has to describe the colours to us. 

Lucky Charms has steadily escalated the number of marshmallow bits over the years, until the "cereal" is now nothing but a bowl of chemicals. North Americans are puzzled, with big question marks appearing above their stupid heads, as to "why" their children are so obese. How can they become obese from a cereal that's "magically delicious"? In recent years the leprechaun has become insufferable, speaking in an obviously phony Irish accent (I mean, even more phony than this one) while he rolls out the "new" marshmallow shape/flavour. The last one was in the shape of a silver Porsche.

We could have been friends

Demon Possessed Singing Trout

                Demon possessed singing trout.

BAD KITTY!

One of the weirdest things I've ever seen

  .


Ice shove - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_shove

An ice shove, ice surge, ice heave, ivu, or shoreline ice pileup is a surge of ice from an ocean or large lake onto the shore. Ice shoves are caused by ocean currents, strong winds, or temperature differences pushing ice onto the shore, creating piles up to 12 metres (40 feet) high.

"Ivu" sounds like some legendary creature like the Yeti or Abominable Snowman. Abominable Ice Shove?

Anyway, I've never seen anything quite like this. It was reassuring - somewhat - that this is actually a "thing" and not some freakish nightmare driven by climate change. As per usual, this video (a couple of years old now) was passed around without any explanation. The tinkling crystal-chandelier sound has an undertone of relentless chugging, like an awful ice train. That part of it I don't understand, at all. It still looks like some supernatural event to me, like a glacier somehow sped up about a million times.

Blogger's annoyed post-script. I can't find a thing on "ivu" except in that Wikipedia piece. Wikipedia defines it very strangely:

Ivu

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ivu or IVU may refer to:

Ice shove (Inupiat terminology is Ivu), a surge of ice from large bodies of water onto the shore
Impuesto sobre Ventas y Uso, the Puerto Rican sales and use tax
International Vegetarian Union, a non-profit organisation promoting vegetarianism
Intravenous urogram, a procedure to examine the urinary system
Ivu or Eve, a character from the manga Black Cat

It isn't even a REAL black cat, but a person, and nowhere is she called Ivu. I give up.

You ARE in the chair.

Broken hurricane siren: the sound of doom

Growing up, I had a constant sense of doom. Maybe it was from being a Cold War kid and having nothing explained to me. In this doomy era of Trump, many of those feelings are back.

I swear to God, it must have been 20 years ago, I was sitting at home minding my own business when I heard the end-of-the-world sound of an air-raid siren. I couldn't even take it in. Nobody could explain it to me - in fact, nobody else had even heard it. It was the story of my life.

Later I asked a friend about it, and he said, "Maybe they were just testing it out."

For what? I never found out.

Chew your little troubles away

TIPS to Housewives!

Latest Flavor-Hit in Soup

Made with Peanut Butter - nourishing, economical, easy to do

1/2 c peanut butter
2 c. milk
1 c. boiling water
1/2 tsp. onion juice
1 tsp. salt, dash pepper, paprika

Heat peanut butter in top of double boiler and gradually stir in boiling water, mixing thoroughly. Add milk and seasoning. Cook over water for 15 min. . . . For thicker soup add 1 to 2 tbs. flour first made into smooth paste with 2 tbs. cold water and stir into soup; stir and cook 10 min. more. Serves 4. Top with whipped cream, peanuts or chopped bacon, or serve it plain.

Blogger's note. At first I had the horrible thought that this peanut butter soup had Wrigley's Spearmint Gum in it. It's bad enough as it is. Peanut butter IS sometimes used as an ingredient in cooking, but here it's just - wrong. I mean, two cups of milk and one cup of boiling water? That's THREE cups of liquid added to a mere half-cup of peanut butter. It's just not going to work. Fifteen minutes of cooking isn't going to make this into soup, and even adding flour paste (the kind we used to stick paper together) won't make it thick enough to resemble soup. The whipped cream garnish strikes me as pretty bizarre, and the bacon - it's just a waste of bacon.

Is this a wartime/rationing recipe, do you think? There used to be a kind of "soup" in England during the war called Brown Windsor, made of gravy powder and water. Let us give thanks that, at least in this small details, things have gotten better.

Another Blogger's Note. I did find a number of recipes using peanut butter. I won't give the full recipe for this one (African Peanut Chicken Stew) because the page has asked me not to, but I could certainly go for it:

        
2-3 pounds chicken legs, thighs and/or wings
3 Tbsp vegetable oil
1 large yellow or white onion, sliced
A 3-inch piece of ginger, peeled and minced
6-8 garlic cloves, chopped roughly
2-3 pounds sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
1 15-ounce can of crushed tomatoes
1 quart chicken stock
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup roasted peanuts
1 Tbsp ground coriander
1 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste
Salt and black pepper
1/4 to 1/2 cup of chopped cilantro


No flour paste here.

Bentley the space alien

Bentley is in such a state of bliss in this video, cuddled up in the cat bed I knitted for him. There really is a resemblance to a space alien here. A very cute, sweet one. With fur.

They just didn't love you enough

A harrowing scene from one of my favorite movies. Bette Davis is scary in this thing - at the height of her genius. Has anyone ever captured alcoholic self-pity better than this?

Kitty in the cupboard

Oh my goodness! While preparing to shoot a DIY video, I heard a knocking sound in the cupboard. There was Bentley, standing on top of the dishes! Somehow or other - well, I guess I must have left the cupboard open and he slipped in. Getting him to "slip out" again was another matter, as he weighs at least 14 lbs. (we think, closer to 15 now) and didn't want to come out. Bentley loves to be a part of anything I'm doing, so he often shows up in my videos. And he's always the best part.

How much shock can you take?

Trust no one!

This is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and inspired a flurry of paranoid gifs, and even an animation (featuring paranoid stills). I think "politone" is meant to be "polytone", because the only definition of "politone" I can find is:

Politone

Politone may be available in the countries listed below.

Ingredient matches for Politone
Pioglitazone

Pioglitazone hydrochloride (a derivative of Pioglitazone) is reported as an ingredient of Politone in the following countries:
Taiwan

← International Drug Name Search

 To me it sounds like shoe polish, but never mind.

(These do play, by the way. I just like the look of them stuck together. Try playing them all at once.) Anyway, this group, this ENIGMA2000, is very X-Files, very paranoid, very into the mysterious numbers-sequence broadcasts that were covered so well on William Shatner's Weird or What? (and GOD how I miss that show, it was tons of fun. Remember that little chihuahua, and the way he came riding up on a horse?)

I randomly came across this politone stuff and it scared the living shit out of me, so I just had to know more. Pretty soon I didn't want to know more. This is some sort of weird espionage thing, spy versus spy, even though it goes by an innocuous name. Some think it even has a paranormal aspect. There are lots of examples on YouTube of numbers being read out loud, random tones, even bits of music, coming from all over the world. Nobody quite knows why. I keep thinking it's a bizarre sort of Emergency Broadcasting System, a frequency left open in case the world ends and the political bigwigs of the world want to say goodbye.

According to Wikipedia: "A numbers station is a shortwave radio station characterized by broadcasts of formatted numbers, which are believed to be addressed to intelligence officers operating in foreign countries. Most identified stations use speech synthesis to vocalize numbers, although digital modes, such as Phase-shift keying and Frequency-shift keying as well as Morse code transmissions are not uncommon. Most stations have set time schedules, or schedule patterns; however, other stations appear to broadcast at random times. Stations may or may not have set frequencies in the HF band."

It goes on, but we know enough already, don't we? These number sequences would appear to mean absolutely nothing, but they MUST have meaning or they wouldn't still be broadcast after something like 90 years. The Politone guys (for I can't even imagine a chick doing this - these fellows remind me of the Lone Gunmen on the aforementioned X Files) have their own newsletter, so dated-looking that it's even worse than mine for obsolete-looking formatting. None of it makes a damn bit of sense, so it's obvious these guys don't get out much. The photos are about an inch square, and the '90s-font text goes all the way across the screen, so that your neck is out of joint after reading a paragraph.

Anyway. I've written before about how I "hear things" in my neighborhood, particularly at night. It's disturbing. Right now things are quiet, but I have no illusions they will stay that way. It's aircraft, obviously, but WHY? and what, even? Must be the RCMP, but what would they be doing buzzing around in helicopters over my sleepy little town? And if it's the military, God help us all.

I had a thought today - something from Apocalypse Now! flashed into my head, and suddenly I realized there has to be more than one helicopter. Maybe that's why it's so loud? There's a resonant frequency between all of them which threatens to make my skull explode.

I just had to express my paranoia in an animation (below) which I call Cold War One.  It is, mercifully, silent.

There's no place like . . . Izmir

Turkish adaptations of classic movies are always particularly bizarre. Well, bizarre to US maybe, though not to the average Turk. 

As with most of these things, there are no subtitles, but we can kind of guess at the action. I mean, if you haven't seen The Wizard of Oz five thousand times - But I guarantee you, you've never seen it quite like this.

Instead of Over the Rainbow, the movie opens with this:

Let it never be said that corners were cut in this production, but the entire storm sequence is done in animation. Calling it animation is stretching a point, as very little moves in it. The figure of Dorothy is dragged across the screen while the credits roll (or blink on and off). 

The actual storm scene is a bit incomprehensible. It collapses 20 minutes or so of film into half a minute of cheap cartoon.

From what I am able to make out, Mama doesn't make much effort to get Dorothy into the storm cellar, which is located INSIDE the house.

Like the original, this is a musical. Sort of. Sometimes the characters just get up and spontaneously dance. The music is so strange, however. Some of it is traditional Turkish stuff, I guess; some sounds like Little House on the Prairie, but then this thing breaks in:

I wouldn't advise watching the whole thing. I didn't. It's more fun to skip through it. You'll find an atrocity at every point.

P. S. The screenshots from this are uniformly hideous, so I must include a few of them.

Chopsocky: the legend and legacy of Bruce Lee

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah

[Chorus:]

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting

Those kids were fast as lightning

In fact, it was a little bit frightening

But they fought with expert timing

There were funky China men from funky Chinatown

They were chopping them up

They were chopping them down

It's an ancient Chinese art

And everybody knew their part

From a feinting, to a slip

And a kickin' from the hip

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting

Those kids were fast as lightning

In fact it was a little bit frightening

But they fought with expert timing

There was funky Billie Chin and little Sammy Chong

He said, here comes the big boss, let's get it on

We took the bow and made a stand

Started swaying with the hand

A sudden motion made me skip

Now we're into a brand new trip

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting

Those kids were fast as lightning

In fact it was a little bit frightening

But they did it with expert timing

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-ha

Keep on, keep on, keep on

Sure enough

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting

Those kids were fast as lightning

In fact it was a little bit frightening

Make sure you have expert timing

Kung Fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning...

Kitten on the keys

This is all too short

Cat races, turkey soccer and a ferret in your pants

YES! I am an author

Margaret Gunning

Margaret is the author of The Glass Character, a novel about the life and times of silent screen comedian Harold Lloyd. She loved researching and writing this novel and believes it's her best work to date. The Glass Character (Thistledown Press)is available in bookstores, libraries, Amazon.com, Chapters/Indigo.com, Thistledown Press.ca, Barnes and Noble.com, Kindle, Kobo, and everywhere fine books are sold.

A published novelist since 2003, Margaret  is a seasoned writer who has published her work in a variety of venues (columns, newspaper articles, poetry, short fiction and book reviews). Her first published novel, Better Than Life (NeWest Press, 2003) received excellent reviews, with the Edmonton Journal calling it "fiction at its finest" and the Vancouver Sun naming it as a worthy contender for the Leacock Award.

This was followed in 2005 by another novel, Mallory (Turnstone Press), a harrowing tale of a social misfit ostracized and bullied by her peers until she finds dubious acceptance in a group of teenagers living on the fringes of the law. Of the many reviews this novel received, not one was negative.

In addition to The Glass Character, Margaret has written a book of poetry (The Red Diary, based on the diary of Anne Frank) and Bus People, a novel about the inhabitants of Vancouver's notorious Downtown Eastside. She hopes these books will soon find a place on the shelf beside The Glass Character.
See more

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This is more-or-less a transcript of my Amazon Author Page. I used to include a link to it every few posts, not so that people would buy my books - that's too much to ask, I think - but to just let people know, if they are interested, that I am the author of three NOT-self-published novels. I did it the old-fashioned way, with traditional publishers, and paid for it in blood. It was not a pleasant experience, not because of the writing - hey, that was great, tons of fun - but because of the long, arduous process of trying to get them promoted and noticed. Because they did not become bestsellers, because I was not anointed into the hallowed halls of CanLit, I was left with the feeling that I had failed. No one tried to talk me out of that feeling, by the way. But here they are, my life's work! It's something, I guess. I never wanted to make money with it, but once you're in the marketplace, there is incredible pressure to sell your product. To me, that feels like selling one of your kids, or at least a chunk of your own soul. No one thinks of this when they eagerly strive to be a Published Author, because it is the best-kept secret of publishing. Besides, everyone is sure their book will win the Giller and the Booker and, perhaps, the Nobel, top the New York Times Review of Books for a year, then be made into a big-box movie that wins an Oscar for Best Picture - or will, if that Price-Waterhouse guy is on the ball. I had all those dreams too, but damned if they weren't right all along - the writing really is the best part.

What's inside a Rattlesnake Rattle?

             Well. . . . . . . . . . . WHAT??