My Meowy Valentine: Victorian greeting card art

My funny Valentine

Sweet, comic Valentine

You make me smile with my heart

Your looks are laughable

Unphotographable

Yet you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak?

When you open it to speak

Are you smart?

Don't change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay little Valentine, stay

And each day will be Valentine's Day

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak?

When you open it to speak

Are you smart?

Don't, please don't change a hair for me

Not if, not if you care for me

Stay little valentine, stay

And each day will be Valentine's

Every day will be, every day will be Valentine's Day

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"But it looked OK on paper!"

I promise, some day I WILL do a post on the Winchester Mystery House, which is full of such nonsensical/incomprehensible features as windows built into the floor and staircases that lead nowhere. Meanwhile, these are design fails, like this playground equipment for when you're babysitting a particularly poisonous little brat.

Just waiting for that major derailment!

"Oh, what a beautiful mor - " CLUNK.

I am trying to figure this out. Do you go UP this wheelchair ramp? Or do you go bumping down the stair part first, then - . And how would this work for strollers?

No doubt here - you have to love pain.

Great garage for a flying car, maybe like the one on The Jetsons. Is that their driveway, blocked by a fence, running at right angles to the house? As I look it it, though, it's plain the architect just put the garage on the wrong floor.

This staircase would've made Sarah Winchester proud. Or at least it would have made sense to her. Perhaps the designer went to a seance.

Now this is just wrong.

Little People, Big ATM?  Can't be a drive-through, unless you're lying on your belly on a giant skateboard.

I like this! I do! Trees deserve their own space on (or in) the property.

This one, though, I truly do not get.

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Squid sex

These are so very beautiful! I stumbled upon them while trying to find information about the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California. Shows you how you can get side-tracked. Please note, I am merely borrowing these for a brief display and NOT taking credit for their creation. I can't find who made them because they are part of a research project on squid reproduction from Leland Stanford Junior University. Some kid had fun making these late at night! A couple of them aren't working very well, unfortunately. I have no idea how many kilobops these require to bop themselves into being. But sometimes they work, and the ones that do - they are pure art in motion.

Prostate Milking: Benefits And How To Do It Right

I swear to God, I DO NOT KNOW how I got on to this site! Just one of those one-thing-leads-to-another internet nightmares. I started off researching the Sarah Winchester Mansion in San Jose, California, which I have always wanted to visit, and ended up on a site which is all about prostate health.

But as with the George Gershwin bio from the Russian Culture site, the original post was obviously NOT written in English. It's impossible to determine if it was in Japanese, Spanish or Czech, but to me it sounds at least vaguely Asian.

I love literal/word-for-word translations and their charming lack of regard for English idiom. Instead we have sentences that go nowhere (sort of like those bizarre staircases at the Winchester Mystery House: see, there IS a connection!) and long strings of gorgeous idiotisms. So here it is, folks: how to do it right. Pencils ready?

How to Milk the Prostate Right

How to do it properly. It is very difficult as they may affect different diseases; some of them are very dangerous, such as prostate cancer, which is known as a great influence on a large male population. In lesions warning in May, trying to trade in the prostate, which should be on a regular basis to work as a treatment.

Maybe turn the word sounds strange to you. This means that a massage in this region, we say, and this can be done independently, without external assistance. Here’s how you do it correctly.

First, in the area must be mitigated.

Thus, to urinate or relax your intestines to eliminate the stress of the body.

It is important to keep nails short and trim, in order to avoid the failure of the delicate skin inside your rectum.

Hygiene is also very important. Wash your hands and body thoroughly.

To make things easier to put the latex sterile gloves on his hands, you will use for the prostate milking. In addition, some water-based lubricant, resulting in some of your fingers.

As a first step, slowly, introducing a finger or more into his anus. You must return, and then click to press a finger on the navel from the inside.

You know, when you raised the prostate, where you will feel your fingers are small, round, that the lamp has a size of a large walnut.

Now, when you find it, it starts slowly, massage with some waving people on both sides, and without pressing too hard on the central part of which is rich in nerve endings.

Do not scratch with nails.

You suddenly feel the need to PEE, even if you did not. This is only a feeling, it’s not, and you should continue your massage and ignore it.

After a short time in this region will be implemented so that orgasm can occur. It is not always true, but there are many chances that you are experiencing ejaculation. 

There is some evidence against him. Trade of the prostate can not be used by those who are already suffering from diseases of the prostate or acute prostates, which is an acute inflammation of the glandular tissue. The main reason to prevent trafficking in such cases is that when your foot massages can lead to the spread of infection, so be careful. 

And no no NO, I will not continue with this because it would just be more of the same! But I hope you've learned something useful about prostate health, illustrated by some wonderful gifs from Stanford Junior University. I think they're about squid.

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But Joe has a hotshot lawyer: an analogy

Jim Hagarty

February 6 at 4:59pm ·

Ghomeshi

So Joe stole money from me. I know he stole it, he knows he stole it. But I keep talking to Joe when I see him because I know he will never pay me back. That's just the way he is, the way it is. I could hate Joe for the rest of my life, but that would hurt me, not him. I like him, basically, and decide to not leave cash lying around when I am with him. Life goes on. Nobody's perfect. Then I hear something disturbing. Joe's been stealing a lot of money from a lot of people. Some of those people were caused hardship by the loss of their money. Joe didn't care. Then Joe is charged. This is more serious than Joe stealing from me. He's hurt a lot of people and will carry on hurting them. Police come to me, having heard Joe stole from me. They ask me to co-operate in an investigation. I do. I long ago got over having lost a few bucks to Joe but if I stay quiet, I will be helping him to hurt others. I agree to testify. But Joe has a hotshot lawyer. And I am made a mess of in court. Didn't I keep hanging around with Joe even though he stole from me? Isn't it true that I joked with Joe that we should rob a bank? Isn't it true that I am free and careless with my money and have been known to blow some of it at the casino? Isn't it true that I once stole some coins from my brother's dresser when I was a kid? Isn't it true that I like to watch crime movies where the bad guy keeps getting away with robbing trains? Isn't it true that I overcharged a buyer on kijiji for an old printer I was selling, a printer that doesn't work very well? Isn't it true that I have been to a psychologist for counselling? Isn't it true that the Canada Revenue Agency questioned my 2013 return where I made a $570 "mistake" calculating my medical expenses? Other witnesses face the same grilling from the brilliant lawyer. Joe walks. But I don't want to see him any more. Nor his lawyer. Because I have been robbed by both of them now. And the justice system.

Note.  This was posted by one of my Facebook friends. I believe the story is a good analogy for what happened with Ghomeshi. The fact that his case was all twined around male-female inequity/power games and trampled sexual boundaries made it that much more murky and emotionally-charged, but even simplifying it to something much-less-fraught highlights the lunacy of the courtroom and its shallow grasp of the human condition. "Yes, but courtroom justice is the law of the land, and as imperfect as it is, it's all we have," people cry.  But "all we have" can CHANGE if we have the will to change it! If we don't and it never does, then it's a hopeless relic and will serve no one. Ever.

Jian's new career

 

Having reassessed his career direction, Jian Ghomeshi makes a bold move: a part-time job at Pic-N-Pay Video Store, Leamington, Ontario. "Living in my Mom's basement is sort of depressing," he tells us in an interview from his Mom's basement. "But the job, man, it's awesome. This is one of only two video stores left in all of Canada! The salary ain't great, but the side benefits - those chicks, man - those chicks with the tight shirts - man - I don't know why they don't wanna talk to me."

We understand, Jian!