Showing posts with label junk science. Show all posts
Showing posts with label junk science. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

"A chemistry is performed": the lunatic junk science that brought down Theranos




"A chemistry is performed so that a chemical reaction occurs and generates a signal from the chemical interaction with the sample, which is translated into a result, which is then reviewed by certified laboratory personnel." - Elizabeth Holmes explains the science behind the Theranos blood testing miracle.



This is the second-most-famous Holmes quote, right next to "First they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and all of a sudden you change the world."


Monday, July 23, 2018

The Ballad of Elizabeth Holmes








The Ballad of Elizabeth Holmes


She made her name in blood -
"It's just one drop", she said.
But red will turn to orange soon
Or so the judge has said.

Black turtlenecks like Steve's,
Unblinking eyeballs too,
She soon had them believing
"With us she'll never screw".

A girl in science - what a thrill!
They've waited all these years!
She faked them out most masterfully,
And bypassed all their fears.

She stood up there just like a man,
Was never soft or weak.
And though her voice was basso,
Her dead-white skin looked chic.

How odd that all those power guys
Fell for that blood-drop bit.
Those rich old white men on the board
Were shocked it turned to shit. 

It made them blush to realize
They'd taken such a bath.
But now their golden girl's been nailed: 
She's just a sociopath.

One drop of blood has done her in,
Poor Lizzie paid the price.
But maybe she will come to see
That vampires just aren't nice.

(Or not. She is just as likely to work an elaborate con in prison. You CAN kid a kidder, and you can con a con, especially if you've had this much practice.)





Elizabeth Holmes
Elizabeth Holmes 2014 (cropped).jpg
Elizabeth Holmes backstage at TechCrunch Disrupt San Francisco 2014
BornElizabeth Anne Holmes
February 3, 1984 (age 34)
Washington, D.C., U.S.
ResidenceLos Altos Hills, California, U.S.
NationalityAmerican
Alma materStanford University (withdrew)[1]
OccupationHealth-technology entrepreneur
Years active2003–2018
Net worthAs of June 2016, USD $0[2]
TitleFounder and ex-CEO of Theranos
Parent(s)Christian Holmes IV
Noel Anne Daoust
Elizabeth Anne Holmes (/hmz/; born February 3, 1984) is the founder and former CEO of Theranos, a privately held company known for its false claims to have devised revolutionary blood tests that used very small amounts of blood. She is under indictment by the United States Department of Justice for wire fraud.In 2015, Forbes named Holmes as the youngest self-made female billionaire in the world due to a $9 billion valuation of Theranos.The next year Forbes revised the value of her interest in Theranos to zero dollars, given an updated $800 million valuation of Theranos and the fact that many of Theranos' investors hold preferred shares and so would be paid before Holmes (who holds common stock) in a liquidation event).

Friday, October 3, 2014

Dementia: don't worry your pretty little head!



Neurotic women 'more likely to get Alzheimer's'

Helen Williams

PUBLISHED 02/10/2014 | 02:30

Anxious, jealous, moody or distressed middle aged women may be putting themselves at risk of developing Alzheimer's disease, according to a 38-year long study.

The claim, which appears in Neurology online, comes after scientists used personality and memory tests to track the health and welfare of 800 women who had an average age of 46. They found that 19pc of those women developed dementia in later life.

The tests also looked at their levels of neuroticism, whether they appeared to be shy and reserved, and if they were outgoing characters.




Neurology online is the medical journal of the American Academy of Neurology. Study author Lena Johannsson of the University of Gothenburg, Sweden, said: "Most Alzheimer's research has been devoted to factors such as education, heart and blood risk factors, head trauma and family history.

"Personality may influence the individual's risk for dementia through its effect on behaviour, lifestyle or reactions to stress."




Neuroticism involves being easily distressed and can be linked to worrying, jealousy or moodiness. People who are neurotic are more likely to express anger, guilt, envy, anxiety or depression. The study also looked at women who appeared to be shy and reserved plus those who seemed to be outgoing.




The women were asked if their work, health or family situation had left them feeling stressed for at least a month. Stress might be spotted by feeling irritable, tense, nervous, fearful, anxious and not being able to sleep properly.

Responses were ranked from zero, where the women never felt stressed, to five, where they had constantly experienced stress in the last five years. Women who chose responses from three and five were considered to have distress.

Those women with the highest scores on the tests for neuroticism had double the risk of developing dementia compared to those who scored lowest on the tests, according to the study.




This foul little report is currently all over the internet, leading me to wonder: whatever happened to all the progress we supposedly made in the last 60 years?

Not only is all this crap completely skewed by the fact that MEN ARE NOT EVEN CONSIDERED (any more than they are ever shown wearing adult diapers on TV), the tone of it is just headspinning in its implications.

It reminds me of those old Miles Nervine ads, with women being encouraged to take sedatives rather than express their discontent, or the Bayer aspirin commercial with the irritable woman snapping, "Mother, please, I'd rather do it myself!" Surely a woman who allows herself to fuss and fret and get her head in a tizzy DESERVES to end up as a drooling idiot. She's bringing it on herself, isn't she? Getting herself all worked up over nothing. The implication is that you'd better put a lid on all that neurotic, needless fulminating, ladies, or guess what. You may just end up in the loony bin, the place of no return.




Under the medicalise in this probably-completely-meaningless study I smell the faint stink of punishment, the price for for deviating from certain expected norms. Good little women, cheerful little women, women who don't fuss, who "accept", who don't rock the boat by becoming pointlessly angry about things (rape, child abuse, the destruction of the planet) are far more likely to make good, cheerful little grandmothers! They'll keep their marbles, in other words. None of that awful drooling, incontinence, brain rot and puzzling resistence to artificial restraints. 

Or could it be this way? Good little women are so conditioned to be bright and cheery and outgoing, to be happy all the day, to always smile, smile, smile (as so many women are rigidly trained to do) that when those pesky lines and wrinkles begin to show, there won't be any DIFFERENCE between the frozen zombie state of their emotional and spiritual submission to societal norms (smile!) and the frozen zombie state of Alzheimer's. 




What an advantage! No one will even NOTICE they have dementia because they were Stepford Wives for an entire lifetime! The advantages of this can't be stressed enough.  The transition will be ultra-smooth, from spotless kitchen to bright, sparkling ward.

Meantime, women who allow their feelings to show, who dare take time for themselves instead of constantly pleasing and hostessing the world, who aren't always cheerful but express anger and indignation and fear and lust and exultation and anxiety and depression and all the things human beings are known to feel BECAUSE THEY ARE HUMAN, will at least KNOW when they are being pursued by the forces of sexist medical oppression. They can put on their neurotic little running shoes and RUN RUN RUN from the suffocating norms that would keep them safely corralled in cheery 1950s-style servitude.

Don't be nice, girls. Don't smile unless you mean it. And when the threat comes, run. Run for your lives. Even if you do go barmy, at least you'll have the satisfaction of being who you really are.