I don't even know where to begin.

 

This is all I have to say today. I feel ground up. I suppose it's my fault for getting involved in the ugliness that can go on on the internet. It's inexcusable, but trying to protest it means you're clapped down even harder. I don't care any more, I've said what I needed to say and there's no point going on and on about it. The woman is still being blamed for being, I think, mentally slow. They blather on and on about autism, then do this to someone who may well be, or at least has some serious memory and speech problems. 

It's not worth it to get so upset, I suppose, but it's been a bad couple of weeks for me, with that lousy treatment at the hair salon, channel views at an all-time low (and nothing I can do about it), pain that seems intractable, having to do physio which I know is useless or even damaging, no birds in the back yard because of bears (can't put anything up for another 2 1/2 months at least), totally unwarranted, repeated accusations of hate speech which are likely shutting me down or shadowbanning me, Crystal abandoning and abusing the family for NO reason, and on and on. 

I know adversity comes in droves, and brings its friends. It's like that. But I feel run over. I need to stay AWAY from these things, as there are always going to be people who defend abusers. Look at the Trumpers. I can't even describe what goes on there. Anyway, I have to get out of here for a while. 

We at least saw HORDES of ducks and geese yesterday at the duck park, which means they weren't gone, just gone elsewhere for a while. There were maybe 200 geese, spread out in several flocks all over the park, but also a ton of ducks roosting on logs on the other side of the lake. The lagoon needs to refill - it's a mud flat now, though it used to attract even more species than Burnaby Lake. We even saw wild swans!

The ultimate irony here is that *I* am being accused of hate speech over and over again, while this asshole pounded the shit out of a vulnerable older woman for 90 minutes while everyone watched and did nothing. Now people are defending the attacker! Trumpism at at its worst. Cultish behaviour. Wow.

We're going to go return a brand new toaster which turned out to be defective. It seems everything is buggering up now, big and small. But no more internet fiascos. If it was ever fun, it's horrible now, and lots of people think  the prolonged, obscenity-ridden verbal attack was warranted and even OK. 

What is WRONG with people?? I will never figure it out. Sometimes they are simply evil, but evil wears many disguises. It's in the Bible, and everywhere else. I guess I had warnings, but it was nice to be acknowledged for a while and follow something that was sometimes fun and entertaining, until it wasn't. 

Am I guilty of the worst sin on social media? (Where is free speech in 2024?)

I have run into the most miserable, baffling, unfair problem I have ever had on YouTube, one which could easily cause my channel to be terminated. For the third time in several months, I have had a notice pop up telling me my comments have been taken down due to "hate speech". 

I have no idea what those comments actually SAID, because they weren't there anymore, but I knew damn well I was NOT guilty of any such thing. With the Meghan Markle thing, I happen to know she has minions and a legal team who carefully watch YouTube and other social media, and clamp  down on transgressors whether they've actually done anything or not. I know of several creators who lost their channels that way.

I figured out that the first one I got was likely a Markle thing, but the second one really baffled me. The only thing I could think of was the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case, in which she and her minions also watch comments and videos and bring people down if they don't like what they say. I have to guess because it  disappeared, but my comment may have alluded to the fact that Gypsy Rose's nickname as a child was "Possum". This was actually stated in one of the many dramas, documentaries, reality shows, etc. that have sprung up around her. I believe I called her something like Possum Girl, and  this was deemed hate speech because I cited her childhood name. 

If it wasn't that, it was something equally stupid. But I'm guessing here. In truth, I have no idea why any of this is happening to me. I don't see how I broke the rules, but how do I know that if they don't tell me what the rules are?  I stopped watching or commenting on Gypsy's videos weeks ago, but yet another warning popped up yesterday, this time restricting me from commenting for 24 hours. So the noose is tightening even as we speak. 

It was even more frustrating and painful  to realize I can no  longer reach a human being at YouTube - it's all Google now, so your cry for help is engulfed by a corporate monster. I do remember live-messaging a support person years ago to resolve a problem, but he did not speak English very well and didn't understand what I was saying. I even found an email address and tried that, but nothing happened, there was no answer. 

But now I don't even have that. They have made themselves unreachable, 

I sent the following letter to an obscure snail-mail address I found at the bottom of the Google junk drawer, but I think it's more or less a joke, meant for seniors like me who they assume don't know one end of a computer from another. Will I hear anything back? Will this make it all worse? Will they insist I AM guilty of hate speech and just didn't know it, and take my channel away from me forever? Corporations, like individuals, don't  like to admit they've been wrong. It's a pride thing, and they'll hang on to their delusions to the bitter end.

Google LLC, D/B/A YouTube
901 Cherry Ave.
San Bruno, CA 94066
USA

August 11/2024

Several times in the past six months, I have received a warning from YouTube about comments I made that contained “hate speech”. I was completely shocked at this, as I don’t believe I have ever posted anything that would qualify as hate speech. Nor have I ever been accused of it in the past. I have been threatened with losing my channel if I did not stop.

I am very careful in my comments not to use language that is racist, sexist or homophobic, and not one word of it is threatening or bullying in any way. In fact, I believe my comments are carefully considered and worded respectfully,unlike many other comments I see in the same section. Some are meant to be satiric or ironic, so perhaps the algorithm doesn’t understand humour? Surely we have not lost the right to express criticisms, particularly of public figures, if they are fairly-worded.

I have been a YouTuber since 2013 (channel name/handle ferociousgumby), have 20,600+ subscribers and almost 3,000 videos, and my channel means the world to a chronically-ill, isolated senior who has very few social connections. I post birdwatching and doll-collecting videos, which I cannot see as controversial in any way. Nor can I find anything in my comments to object to. Perhaps it is my collection of troll dolls (this is not a joke!) which the algorithm doesn’t like? In any case, I believe I am being watched, and it makes no sense. My views have also dwindled dramatically for no apparent reason.

I cannot fathom why this keeps on happening to me. My channel’s existence is in danger for no good reason. Something in the system must be doing this, perhaps the algorithm which I know very little about, or else someone is reporting me for a problem which I believe does not exist, or is taking something literally which was meant to be humour.

I did attempt to send feedback through YouTube more than once, and got no reply. I have tried the help forum and got nowhere. I have also sent this letter to snail mail, but I have to assume it’s very unlikely there will be a response. So this is the last thing I can think of doing. If in fact you have determined that I am guilty of “hate speech”, PLEASE give me a list of the offending words so I can stop using them! Nothing would make me happier than to abide by the rules, but first I have to know what they are. I need your help.