Cat splat

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A few good fails: epic gif disasters

"Epic fail" gifs are kind of a cheap trick, but let's do some anyway. Fat guy falling through ice. . .

Some of them, you can tell, are kind of staged, but the sincere attempts at outlandish stunts are truly groan-worthy.

Horse fail!

This one looks real, for sure - some rotten little brother.

Real or faked? Could a golf club do this? You decide.

Now who is this - Rita Hayworth or something? I'd say it was staged, but the actor's lunge forward is so panicky that I don't think so (and such a stunt would be too hazardous for a star).

Hamster wheel fail.

Fat guys fall down funnier than thin guys, especially when spinning around on an office chair.

Dog fail!

"But the dog didn't get hurt. . . "

Stump fail! Again, suspicious, because that truck is such an old junker.

I've saved the best 'til last.

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Thistledown Press 

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Amazon.com

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Chapters/Indigo.ca

http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/the-glass-character/9781927068885-item.html?ikwid=the%2520glass%2520character%2520margaret%2520gunning&ikwsec=Home

Chef Boy-ar-dee: the lost gifs!

Mama Mia and Santa Lucia! Did y'all know there was an actual, real-live, puffy-hat-wearing, spaghetti-cooking, Italian-talking Chef Boy-ar-dee?

(Though it's true he couldn't always stay too long in the kitchen. Just popped in and out.  He had Gina Lollobrigida in the back room.)

Yes, this is the real Chef Hector Boiardi, creator of the first mass-produced Italian food, whose name was so hard for Americans to pronounce it had to be dumbed way down. Read his lips:  he's saying "Have my soup. Whassup?", which must be some sort of funny Italian palindrome.

See, this guy was so dog-gone famous and well-loved that they erected a real bronze-plated statue of him right outside of Boy-Ar-Dee Headquarters in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Either that, or they had him bronzed.

Spare a thought for the old boy. He was the immigrant success story writ large. Amen.

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html

http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm

DON'T LOOK DOWN!: Harold Lloyd short takes

Although it's late, I have a cold and feel bloody awful, and should've gone to bed a long time ago, an obsession is an obsession, n'est-ce pas? So, gentle reader, I made these few gifs, smudgy and surreal, Just For You. Enter his world at your peril, for you may never find your way home again.

 

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book

    It took me years to write, will you take a look

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Amazon
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Barnes & Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-glass-character-margaret-gunning/1117863913?ean=9781927068885

Thistledown Press

http://www.thistledownpress.com/html/search/genre/Fiction/the_glass_character_p580.cfm

Chapters/Indigo
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/the-glass-character/9781927068885-item.html?ikwid=the%

Taco Time: fun with the Shatmeister

They don't call him Kinky Jim for nothing.

"That. . . last. . . taco. . . too. . . much. . . hot. . .sauce. . ."

"Calgon! Take me away!"

"My wife doesn't understand me."

"Yes, but Sulu's busy tonight."

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html

http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm

This horse says "nay!"

                                                               

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html

http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm

An Easter Parade of Jesus gifs

Jesus is pretty big business at this time of year. As in: let's go to church on Easter Sunday, because aside from Christmas Eve we never go, and if we go twice a year at least we can say we're "churchgoers".

I myself, a recovering churchgoer, have found much that's interesting about the Jesus Industry. In fact, it's hard to find a Jesus without a sense of industry, in these days of universal commerce.

Hey, I wouldn't even DO this, I wouldn't "make fun of" the Holy of Holies (and I'm not, just displaying some of the more interesting representations of him in a new medium) were it not for the fact that my former church went a certain way with things. They decided to try to dispense with their stuffy, outdated image, not to mention the sinking-ship feeling that accompanied all their efforts, and came up with a hip new web site. I will not and cannot quote it here, except to say that it was the first place I encountered Bobblehead Jesus.

Why did I feel this awful sinking in my gut, this anger, this fuming feeling, this desecration, this - hey, what's the matter with you? What ARE you, an old lady (and obviously not welcome)? Everyone else either accepted this atrocity without question, or laughed at it. Aren't we generous, don't we take it on the chin for Jesus, proving we really ARE relevant, hip and leading the way in modern attitudes?

Spare me.

Having dispensed with that odious topic, let's get on with something more sincere (and I mean this! These gifs, tacky and strange as some of them are, were made with sincerity. None of them reflect the jeering satire of the "sendup" ones. Hey, we're on holy ground here.)

This group of gifs represents what I call the "walk with Jesus" collection. Though he walks, he doesn't walk very smoothly. In the walking-on-water ones which I decided not to include (hey, I can't do everything, can I? And it's Good Friday, a day off work, for God's sake), he seems to slide on ice, saving him energy to pull Peter out of the soup.

Minimal walking in this Blingee, but you can see his foot moving. (Didn't know he smoked. He should've given it up for Lent.)

Love this one. If it doesn't work, just click on the image and he'll come a-slidin' down.,

I don't know if these are supposed to be stairs or not, or an old rope bridge. I wonder why they can't just have him sit on a sled?

Now we're getting into the black-lit Disco Jesus images. There's something a wee bit Satanic about the spiky background, which I suppose is meant to represent the crown of thorns. But don't look for this one for too long, or you'll be seeing a spiky-looking skull (meant to represent Golgotha, perhaps?) all day long.

You gotta wonder about this one. Jesus seems to be flashing back and forth (and let me ask you: what WERE those little images that flashed back and forth between two religious scenes called? Why hasn't anyone else ever heard of them?) The background is the color of Kraft Dinner, pulsating wildly around a nasty-looking Christ who suddenly turns into a negative, a la the Shroud of Turin. Colorful.

This is Migraine Christ. Meaning, you'll get one if you look at him too long.

These are just icky, except for the hair blowing in the second one and the fact that he looks sort of like Richard Gere.

There's only one way he could've gotten out to that rock, if his clothes are this dry. But the graphics are gentler in this one, and the reflection rather effective. The probably-unintentional seagull is a nice touch.

This is Ghost Jesus: the best of all the gifs, and for some reason, after one cycle (if you're lucky), he often disappears. (Hint: try clicking on the image and see if you can bring him back from the dead. It worked before, didn't it?)  This could represent a number of things:

The attendance in this church has hit a new low.

They don't pay their electric bill.

They wouldn't know Jesus if he showed up in their own sanctuary.

God left this place a long, long time ago.

RAMPAGE: GIFs of that mad Chinese guy at the airport!

Guess he missed his flight.