Excited Astronomers Exclaim: "The Earth is Doomed!"

The Milky Way Is Going To Crash Into Another Galaxy Sooner Than Expected 

By James Schlarmann | January 5, 2019 | Category Space Share and enjoy! 26 Shares 13 

Far be it for me to be an alarmist, but I have to relay some important news to you about our galaxy, the Milky Way. I hope you’re sitting down when you read this. 

It concerns all of us, every single life form on Earth. A new study is predicting that our galaxy will collide with a neighboring galaxy. This is nothing new; scientists have been predicting a galactic collision for awhile now. 

But here’s where you might want to brace yourself — the Milky Way crash might be coming sooner than was originally expected. Believe it or not, Marius Cautun, a Ph.D who helped discover the accelerated timeline for the galaxies crashing into one another actually said he’s excited about this!

“The discovery made me very excited!” says Cautun, whose team put a preprint version of their paper on ArxIV. “Initially, both my collaborators and I were surprised and, because we didn’t expect it, a bit skeptical. This happens many times with new discoveries.”

And what, exactly, is Dr. Cautun so hyped for? Well, we’re not exactly sure what the impact on life on Earth could be, but we do know some of the details, and they don’t bode well, necessarily. 

Two things will happen when the LMC runs into the Milky Way. As it moves, it will pull other stars away from their normal orbits around our galaxy and set them on less predictable courses — possibly one headed for our Sun. 

And if another star passes near our Sun, the orbits of the planets will shift. The entire reason we have life as we know it here on our planet is that we’re situated in a perfect spot — not too far or too close to the sun. 

But if the Milky Way colliding with another galaxy pulls our planet closer to, or further away from the sun, it doesn’t take a genius to see there could be potentially catastrophic impacts on terrestrial species.

“Any such change is very dangerous for life, since even small variations in the distance between the Earth and the Sun can move our planet outside the Goldilocks zone and make it either too hot or too cold for life,” says Cautun. Cautun says there’s even a small chance that our solar system could be tossed right out of the Milky Way! 

If we are “unlucky,” he adds, there is also a 1-3 percent chance that the solar system might be ejected from the Milky Way entirely. If our descendants manage to survive that journey, Cautun predicts they’ll likely see a “very different night sky, much darker than currently with only a modest bright patch that will correspond to the Milky Way galaxy.” 

Well, I guess there’s only one thing left to do. Figure out how much time we all have left and hold each other tight, one last time. I’m sure that we’ll all take comfort in each other’s love as we watch what’s left of our existence fade away into the dustbin of time. 

I hope you all had a great life and — Anywhere from one to four billion years from now, study lead and cosmology researcher Marius Cautun, Ph.D., tells Inverse, the Milky Way could be smashed head-on by the the LMC. He admits the secondary effects of such a crash would be dangerous for life on Earth, but he’s more delighted at how much this discovery reveals about our own abnormal galaxy.

Oh gosh, I guess I should’ve read that part first, huh? I’m so sorry. This would’ve changed the whole tone of the piece too! Only having four billion years left to live is frightening! 

(Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.)

Please note. This excerpt from the intergalactic doom article is only partly satirical. I recently saw a post from a Facebook friend (not a real one) which was all about an exciting new book which is going to teach us all how to die.

Since the earth is doomed by climate change, North Korean nuclear bombs and terrorist atrocities, not to mention Donald Trump's hair style, there is no longer any hope for humanity. Any attempts at salvage are "too little, too late". It behooves us all to learn how to face the inevitable, lie down and die. Surrender to the void, and try to practice existential hopelessness with a degree of dignity and grace.

I exaggerate, but not much. This was a serious book telling us that since the end of the world as we know it is approaching at light speed, we must all learn how to "perish" (the actual word) with as much graciousness as possible. I couldn't read much of  the post. I couldn't get away from it fast enough. What galled me most was the inevitable Greek chorus of "friends" (you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours, THAT kind of friends) saying in the comments section,  ohh, I MUST get a copy of that book, it sounds wonderful!

NO, it did not sound wonderful. It was just a lot of angry-making, nihilistic shit to me. No one is more aware of the possible end of the world as we know it than I, yet I think lying down and rolling over before anything has even happened is just about the worst thing we can do.

I was part of the anti-nuclear/"peace" movement in the '80s, and now I realize I wasted a couple of years of my life in desperately futile protest while the earth kept merrily spinning and everyone else was having a good time. In contrast, I ran around screaming that the sky was falling, and lost all my friends. As with the Y2K bug and the phasing out of the penny, NOTHING HAPPENED, and I learned a lesson I will keep until the world actually DOES end. 

Don't believe shit until it comes. And listen, if and when it does come, NO ONE will have a CLUE how to perish with dignity or grace or have cat food on their face. No one will know shit! They'll either be dead, or running around screaming that the sky is falling. It's like that indispensible earthquake survival kit that lies buried under a thousand pounds of rubble.

This was a beautiful little article that I "borrowed" (since I can't link to most things), and it is a parable for our times. Don't  lie the fuck down, people. Get UP. Get up and walk around. Get busy, do some work. It's called life, and it hasn't ended yet.

Lisa Laflamme: wrinkle cream trumps news every time!

DID YOU KNOW? The clickbait title of this article said Lisa LaFlamme, "Canada's legendary newscaster", had been "escorted out of the studio", implying she'd been fired. There was no working link to the article (hmmmm), so I had to copy and paste the text. It said nothing about firing, but claimed Laflamme had announced she was leaving the news industry to sell skin gunk. I have seen numerous other articles claiming prominent women in broadcasting were dumping it all to sell their incredibly successful line of miracle skin care products!

Of course this is ludicrous, but many people are still of the "I saw it on the internet, therefore it must be true" persuasion. I have seen no evidence anywhere that Lisa Laflamme is quitting broadcasting, for ANY reason. I also wonder how these idiots get away with using her name, but maybe the folks at CTV consider it's small potatoes and not worth a lawsuit. Still seems immoral to me.

Lisa LaFlamme Announces She Is Leaving CTV

(ET, Thursday, December 6, 2018) - Lisa says she is retiring to spend more time with her family, but it turns out she has other plans in mind!

Lisa LaFlamme, Canada’s legendary newscaster, announced that she will soon be retiring. After spending more than twenty years as a news anchor, Lisa felt a need to make a change in her life. Namely, she decided to leave newscasting and fully focus on her skincare line called Nova Essence Cream.

Four years ago when Lisa turned fifty, she decided to get involved with the skincare industry. Her aim was to realize her lifelong dream of owning her own skincare line. Even though she described the process of discovering the perfect anti-aging formula as a demanding one, her company eventually managed to find it.

Precisely because of that discovery and the ever-increasing success of her company, Lisa though that now is the right time to completely devote herself to Nova Essence Cream. To say that she made the right decision would be an understatement.

Lisa with friends and colleagues celebrating the launch of her Nova Essence Cream

When asked about why she decided to invest in anti-aging products, Lisa said that she had enough of watching women get tricked into buying fake anti-aging creams. She also stated that it is sad that most of the products on the market today do not work at all. That is why she felt a need to create a product that will genuinely rejuvenate the skin.

When her Nova Essence Cream was launched, it only took 30 minutes for her online beauty store to completely sell out. Lisa even admitted that the level of support she is receiving from her loving Canadians has brought tears to her eyes.

"What can I say? I am truly lost for words. I decided to follow my dreams and look where I am at now. It is hard to wrap my head around it. I am so incredibly grateful for the support." - Lisa LaFlamme

However, it is the community of plastic surgeons that took the biggest blow by Lisa’s new anti-aging product. Demand for their services started rapidly decreasing. Here is what she had to say about that:
"Of course, they are all mad. I don’t blame them, but I also don’t feel sorry for them. They have tricked too many women into believing that plastic surgery is the only solution for them. Getting a Botox injection or a facelift is not exactly cheap. I will tell you right now, that’s why they are mad. Nova Essence Cream is far more affordable and a less aggressive method. Women started canceling their appointments and wanting their money back."

How does it work?

LaFlamme says that the ingredients used in Nova Essence Cream all serve a specific purpose. Vitamin C, for example, works wonders for wrinkles and can be found in most products aimed towards eliminating them. Argireline is a peptide used to relax facial muscles and prevent fine lines from emerging. Also, there is Retinol. Studies from recent years show that Retinol truly does an amazing job of minimizing fine lines and pores.

Lisa also points out that not a single ingredient used in her anti-aging cream harms the skin in any way. Her aim was to create a product based only on natural ingredients which have proven to work wonders for skin rejuvenation.

Countless aging celebs admit they avoided surgery and look 10 years younger using Nova Essence Cream.

"The advances LaFlamme has made in the anti-aging skincare industry are remarkable. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t had the chance to try it out for myself. I knew LaFlamme Denis was aging well but thought it was her genetics. After using Nova Essence Cream for two weeks I was already looking years younger." - Jennifer Valentyne, 50

"I refuse to wear a lot of makeup and thanks to Nova Essence Cream I don’t need to. My skin has never looked better and it looks younger than it did 10 years ago. I love waking up knowing I don’t need to bother trying to cover up my skin." - Jeanne Beker, 66

"I noticed that my skin was looking tired. It was dull and starting to lose its elasticity. LaFlamme gave me a sample of Nova Essence Cream and the product is a miracle worker. It only took a few days for my skin to be taut, smooth and glowing again just like it was in my 20’s." - Liza Fromer, 48

"I thought there was no way to hide my age until LaFlamme let me try Nova Essence Cream. I had resigned myself to the fact that it was only downhill from here, but with Nova Essence Cream that isn’t the way. Every night that I use Nova Essence Cream I wake up looking younger and more radiant. I can’t believe it." - Tracy Moore, 43

"It’s hard to believe but all my wrinkles have vanished! They have completely disappeared. I used to have lines around my mouth, eyes and forehead. But after a month of using Nova Essence Cream my skin is completely smooth without a wrinkle in sight." - Dina Pugliese, 43

TRY IT FOR YOURSELF

While Nova Essence Cream is selling out around the world, LaFlamme didn’t want our readers to miss out on experiencing the benefits of Nova Essence Cream for themselves.

LaFlamme is offering our lucky readers the chance to try Nova Essence Cream for FREE!

There’s no need to rush out to the shops or wait in line. You can order your free sample of the serum right now from the comfort of your own home. The only thing you’ll need to pay for is the discounted shipping rate, which is less than $6!

If you want to remove your wrinkles and get that youthful glow back into your complexion, make sure you use Nova Essence Cream every day.

Wait a minute. Am I being hoaxed?

I feel very uncomfortable doing this but a number of factors compel me to get on with it, so here goes. Without going into this too personally, due to events beyond my control, there are a fair number of threats, most indirect, but some quite direct, and many very specific (what exact kind of gun should be put to what exact part of my body) made against my life. Mostly just suggestions that I be killed, etc, (quite graphic etc, often) with motivation, sometimes a cost estimate.

While I try not to let this affect how I do things too much and I know that the internet (which I love and is mostly a net gain, in part because it is through the internet that I came to know many of you good people and how i have managed to do much of my work) I have for a few years now declined all invitations to do public events. Several people who have looked at these things have been advised me against doing all anyone-attends-posted-online affairs and if you see me say I am in a place, I am not there anymore.

It’s not a huge thing and I know most threats are empty but I believe the advice is correct, given the number and nature of these posts and messages.
Anyway, now I have this book coming out and a number of literary festivals have kindly invited me to attend and I can’t. This is a disappointment to my fine publisher and of course and I really enjoy meeting readers.

I will have an invitation-only book launch here in Toronto, late September, when the book comes out, and I very much hope many of you will come.
The point to this post is this, I did promise, contactually and otherwise, to promote my book, and attend a number of public events. I can’t, and a fair number of you are in media one way another, and so here’s my pitch, I will happily answer questions about my book, and work, write you a few lines about life in general, donate a recipe for your publication, pop in to your podcast, wander in to whatever it is you got going. You name it, I will do it.
So, please keep me in mind if you have a space of slot I might be able to fill and thanks very much for your time and interest if you read to the end of this.

  

This VERY strange statement appeared today, posted on a Facebook friend's page, so it got into my feed. A very big question mark immediately formed over my head. I didn't know much about this writer, whose name I will mask for now, and when I looked up her publisher, this is the description I saw about her (which, as an author myself, I know is traditionally written by the subject):

(Writer Under Threat) is smart, funny and very beautiful. She has the prettiest eyes. She describes her hair as iconic. That's how men think of her breasts. She is also a gifted writer. Elle Canada, The Globe and Mail, The Walrus and Explore Magazine are four of the publications lucky enough to have her in their pages. She has a lovely laugh and has been nominated for ten National Magazine Awards. She is also an excellent cook, terrific in bed and weary of self-deprecating chick writers.

So I sort of got the fact that this was a humourist of sorts, but what about that statement about her life being in danger? And therein lies the dilemma of social media.

As a humorist, a satirist I assume, irony and exaggeration are her stock in trade. Fair enough; I expect that. But what do I make of this rather long and elaborate statement? Is there any truth in it at all, or is it just an irony-tinged way of saying, "Hey, guys, I don't feel like doing any book promotion this year"? If so, those who are in on the joke, her loyal readers/fans/"in-crowd", will probably immediately know what she is talking about, and perhaps are chuckling away to themselves right now - threats on her life! Right! That's a million laughs.

Certainly the way she expresses the threat ("what exact kind of gun should be put to what exact part of my body. . sometimes a cost estimate. . .") borders on the flip. Her statement a little later on that it's "not a huge thing" seems equally puzzling. Threats on her life are not a huge thing?

So I was left in a state of confusion that made me unaccountably angry. It's happening again, I thought. Happens every time I turn around. We don't know what to take seriously, and what to - not. The whole thing was confusing in the way only social media can be confusing, triggering a weird, irrational shame. It's because you don't know whether or not you're being hoodwinked, and you feel you should know. You should know what's going on, but everyone seems to be speaking in some sort of mysterious code.

My first reaction when I saw this was, good grief, why is my Facebook friend in so much trouble? Then I realized it wasn't my Facebook friend at all, but this author (unknown to me - I don't live in Toronto) whom my friend was quoting. So, who was she, and why (actually, really, I mean) was she not going to promote her book?

People just don't go around randomly shooting authors, or making threats against someone who is no threat to them. Not in Canada, anyway. But if it IS true, what the hell is going on? She is a lovely, laughing, iconic-breasted humour writer, is she not? I just can't see who'd want to gun her down in cold blood. It makes no sense.

The truth is, I have absolutely NO fucking clue what to make of this, and it makes me very very uneasy. Just doubting it is giving me doubts, although I find I'm doubting half of what I read these days.

What do we take seriously in this era of fake news? What/whom do we (mis)trust? I was all ready to accept this at face value, until that little voice (the one I generally trust) said, "Wait a minute."

Wait a minute. We have no proof at all that any of this is real. If it isn't, it's a great way to play on the paranoia that runs rampant these days, a way to tweak everyone's vulnerability and then suddenly say, "Hah! Had you going there, didn't I?"

HAS she got me going? For no reason, I mean? How big a fool am I, anyway? IS there anything to this? Yes, no, I don't know. I feel ridiculous for not knowing. If it's satire, after all (the way she makes her living), if she's not really going to be murdered in cold blood at a book signing, then perhaps the intended reaction really is a mixture of exasperation, bewilderment and baffling shame.

FAKE BIRD NEWS! The Korean Crow-Tit

This Is The Korean Crow-Tit - The World's Cutest Bird!

This little birdy is a Korean crow-tit and it looks like a fluffy cotton ball with tiny wings.

It's a little poof ball!

LOOK AT ITS TINY WINGS!

The above rhapsody is from a site called Sunny Skyz, which posts mostly, I believe, sunny, funny, adorable things, which these bird pictures definitely are.

I looked up the fluffball birdie elsewhere, and it appeared on a few other bouncy, flouncy, good-news sites, along with (groannn, inevitably) Pinterest.

I quickly became enamored of this poofball, compared (on one page) with "something a little kid would make out of a cotton ball". I even made a little animation with it (somewhere below).

But then I began to have my doubts.

I began to have my doubts when I looked for information about this bird, and hit a complete and total dead end.

Wikipedia, which has entries on just about every species of bird, bee, animal and plant, had nothing at all on it, in spite of a massive entry on Korean bird species that ran into the hundreds. 

It got worse. My beloved Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology (which I refer to almost daily now that I have become a Bird Nerd) had nothing on it either. Tits, yes! There are many kinds of tits, and I have heard all the jokes. But no Korean crow-tit.

I had a growing suspicion, one I've had many times before. Somebody was having me on.

After googling around fruitlessly and only finding endless replications of the cute little fluff-balls, with no information about them at all, I came across a startling entry from a site,about a Korean "boy band" called BTS. Once I read it, I was more confused than ever:

Now the video I linked says, "They call me a try-hard", but I think it's more accurate to leave the word 'baepsae', or 'crow-tit'. This hinges on the fact that this song utilizes a well-known phrase in Korea: "If a crow-tit walks like a stork, it will tear its legs". A crow-tit is a bird with a small stride because it has short legs, and when we compare this with a stork who has much taller legs, we see that the stork would easily be able to travel farther with less effort.

(Video removed by YouTube)

The song itself mentions the stork and the crow-tit multiple times, the "crow-tits" being the generation from which BTS members come, whereas the "storks" are the generation prior. The stork generation is comprised of parents, teachers, employees- people the younger generation is meant to be able to look up to and to learn from.

So somebody probably extracted the name from that song and attached it to pictures of a very cute bird which nobody can readily identify. How many people know about the old Korean legend of the crow-tit, and how it might tear its little legs if it walks like a stork? Fans of BTS, perhaps, though this strikes me as a little obscure.

My question is, how many people accepted this fluffy little hoax without question? Quite a few, it seems. The white birdie has been around since some time last year, and I haven't seen it challenged (until now!).

BLOGGER'S P. S. I just emailed the Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology, which has never failed me yet in providing information about all things bird. That's what I love about them. There is always a human being there, and one that loves and knows about birds. Usually they get back to you post-haste.

So if and when I get an answer about the real identity of this tiny little poofball, I'll update you immediately. Myself, I can hardly wait! 

UPDATE: MUCH later, and the comments are still coming! Rosy Novelist posted these remarks, but the links weren't live, so here they are with links. 

Rosy Novelist has left a new comment on the post "FAKE BIRD NEWS! The Korean Crow-Tit":

Hi! I'm a South Korean currently studying in the U.S. I came across this blog post and couldn't help but leave a message.

So the white fluffy bird is actually a Long-tailed tit. In Korean, it's "오목눈이." This Korean YouTuber uploaded a video about how the Korean baepsae is commonly mistakened with it.

Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-mTP52IqM4. It's in Korean but when you look at 00:47, she explains with the visuals.

The long tailed tit is a common bird found throughout Europe and the Palearctic. Here is the distribution map from Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_tit#/media/File:Schwanzmeise_(Aegithalos_caudatus)_distribution_map.png.

So, it is a lovely bird that is found throughout Eurasia. Koreans have seen it throughout its history and called it "오목눈이" while in different cultures, they are called something else.

So I think the "Korean crow tit" is not the right name for the fluffy bird because 1) Birds don't have nationalities 2) it's a long tailed tit.

The notion that it's a Japanese bird or a Korean bird or any other nationality bird is pretty ridiculous. Birds are birds and they are lovely! :)

Rosy Novelist has left a new comment on the post "FAKE BIRD NEWS! The Korean Crow-Tit":

Exactly! Baepsaes are parrotbills - brownish fluffs found in Korea as well as elsewhere. The white fluffs are long tailed tits that are migratory birds that stay from Europe to Asia.

I think this post also explains well: https://aminoapps.com/c/btsarmy/page/blog/fake-bird-news-alert-baepsae-does-not-mean-crow-tit/D8BQ_p81hPurDKYqJJKgwMxBNWMKXg17dg

Creepy clowns? Give me a break!

http://www.snopes.com/scary-clowns-kill-23-people-in-canada/

Fact Check
Fake News
Killer Clowns in Canada
Fake news reported that weapons-wielding clowns from the U.S. invaded Canada and murdered 23 victims.

Dan Evon Oct 04, 2016




CLAIM: Weapons-wielding clowns from the U.S. invaded Canada and murdered 23 victims.

FALSE


ORIGIN:On 3 October 2016 the Global Sun web site published an article reporting that weapons-wielding clowns from the U.S. had invaded Canada and murdered 23 victims there:

As it’s getting closer to Halloween, what seemed to be a harmless joke at first, suddenly turned into a serious matter with the police. What started off as reports of creepy clowns luring around neighbourhoods in the US, has suddenly escalated to another level. It is believed that the surge of clowns spotted wielding weapons originated from some states in America, but has made it’s way up north.

There was no truth to this story. The Global Sun is a fake news web site that does not publish factual stories, as noted in their disclaimer:

The Global Sun is a satire website, articles/post on the website are all made-up stories and should not be taken seriously.

This fabricated killer clown story was published in amidst numerous reports of clown sightings in the United States. In August 2016, residents of Greenville, South Carolina reported that clowns were attempting to lure children into the woods. A few weeks later, the clowns had migrated to North Carolina, and since then scary clowns have been reported in various locations across the United States — although actual evidence of their existence is lacking:

But amid all of these reports, no clowns have been photographed. Police investigators have found no traces of clown activity. Not even a stray red nose or a strand of blue hair.

So what are these insidious creatures? According to one clown expert, they’re probably “phantom clowns.”

Fake news web sites have taken advantage of the recent uptick in coulrophobia to publish bogus reports about clown-related deaths. However, clowns did not kill 23 people in Canada, nor was a clown shot in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

BLOGGER's COMMENTS. OK then. . . From the very beginning, the "creepy clown sightings" reports made me groan. There was more than a faint smell of bullshit about them, but everybody seemed to be getting on the bandwagon and reporting it as straight news - including CTV, the Vancouver television station my daughter Shannon works for as a reporter.

The other day, a school in Vancouver had to be put on lockdown due to high school kids in creepy clown costumes chasing after kids. So is this a copycat crime of a NON-crime? 

What probably disturbs me the most is how quickly pure fabricated bullshit becomes actual news. If it's on the internet, no matter how hokey the site, it MUST have happened, and it is replicated and replicated without ANYONE checking to find out if it's factual or not. So much for getting it from three sources. That just takes too long for today's lightning-paced media demands, so you just grab whatever pops up, anywhere.

I see this in coffee rooms and bus stops and everywhere people casually talk (not that they do any more: too busy looking down and wiggling their thumbs). "Did you see that story on the blah-blah?" "Yeaaaaah. . . it's really awful, isn't it. The world is getting so violent." Never mind if the item appeared in the Bogus Satirical Fake Parody News, or if other stories on the same site were along the lines of "man eats 5000 gallons of ice cream in 5 minutes and dies on the street". 

So I'm not sure what is going on. I'm going to ask Shannon.

'Clownpocalypse' hits B.C. with creepy clown confrontations

Teens arrested for creepy clown threat

Local teenagers are jumping on an unsettling prank that’s sweeping North America, but police aren't laughing.

Clownpocalypse hits B.C. with creepy clown run-in

A letter was sent home to parents in Langley, B.C., after students reported being confronted by someone wearing a clown mask.

CTV National News: Clown hoaxes becoming frequent

A U.S. trend is making its way into Canada. Creepy clown sightings are becoming frequent and freaky. CTV's Kevin Gallagher reports. Police forces and school districts across B.C. are urging caution as a bizarre trend dubbed the "clownpocalypse" on social media triggers arrests and school lockdowns.

It comes in the midst of a string of "creepy clown" sightings in Canadian cities including Toronto, Halifax and Edmonton, as well as many U.S. cities. The phenomenon has also involved threats made on social media, and usually involves vague warnings about violence at schools.

RELATED STORIES

'Clownpocalypse': Canadian students fall prey to viral scare

Why are we so afraid of clowns?

PHOTOS



In this file photo from 2015, a man dressed as a horror clown is pictured when thousands of revellers dressed in carnival costumes celebrate the start of the street-carnival in Cologne, Germany, Thursday, Feb. 12, 2015. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner

That's prompted action by police forces in British Columbia. Surrey RCMP are asking the public to report any unusual clown sightings after a terrifying incident Wednesday night where a man wearing a clown mask jumped out of the bushes and chased four teenagers.

"He was carrying something in his hands that may have been a baseball bat. The male was laughing as he was chasing them," said Sgt. Alanna Dunlop. No one was injured but the force is taking the incident very seriously.

In nearby Langley, a stranger wearing a clown mask apparently approached middle school students on their way to class, which prompted a note sent home to parents. "On two recent mornings students have reported being confronted by a stranger in a clown mask on the way to school," the letter dated Thursday from HD Stafford Middle School reads. Principal Shawn Davids said the school administration and RCMP believe there is no immediate danger to students, but advises students to walk in pairs and avoid distractions like iPods and text messaging.

“Out of an abundance of caution, it is recommended that students walking to school be vigilant in the coming weeks as we approach Halloween and in light of the ‘creepy clown’ internet phenomenon being reported,” Davids wrote. Two teens in Prince George, B.C., were arrested after a posting a clown-related post on Instagram that read: "Every school in PG is about to get hit."

The post prompted a partial lockdown at a local high school. RCMP said at no time did its investigators believe the threat was credible, but officials asked all area schools to keep children inside and lock all external doors.

"Although we had no evidence that indicated violent action would take place, police were deeply concerned about the threats and acted with an abundance of caution," Cpl. Craig Douglass said.
The 17-year-old taken into custody was released without charges, but the 16-year-old was scheduled to make his first court appearance Friday and criminal charges are being considered.

More threats were reported to local schools on Friday, prompting six area high schools to be briefly locked down. RCMP investigators in the latest case determined that the threats were not credible and, in some cases, outdated.

With an increased police presence posted at schools in the Prince George area, Douglass said the investigation into the threats was tying up resources "that could be better used responding to where they are truly needed."

The clown pranks are drawing serious police resources to American schools, where every threat is taken seriously.

It's even drawn concern from the White House.

"This is a situation that local law enforcement authorities take quite seriously," said White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest.

Social media users have been documenting the prank phenomenon under the hashtag #Clownsightings.

OK, the emphasis is mine, but doesn't this sound like Prank-o-Rama or a Prankfest to you? Who has actually gotten hurt in these things? Isn't this just a case of a high school kid in a dollar store mask running around in circles after a screaming little kid, her fear whipped up by her gullible, know-nothing parents?

The blue/italic portions indicate that the cops really think the whole thing is bullshit, but they dare not say so. Hey! It says there are creepy clowns ON THE INTERNET. So it must be true.

RELATED BLOG POST (one of my better ones, I think!):  

I Hate Clowns

Addenda. WHY we are afraid of clowns. The Experts Speak!

So-called “creepy clown” encounters are making people nervous across Canada and the U.S.

The sightings may be part of a viral trend that swept into several U.S. cities, where there have been reports of clowns terrorizing children and stalking people in the street. But why are we so scared of clowns to begin with?

Child and adolescent psychiatrist Steven Schlozman says it has something to do with how clowns are portrayed in popular culture.

“They are supposed to be fun, but they have been part of the horror canon now for awhile, at least 20 years and probably more,” Schlozman told CTV News Channel on Thursday.

He points to films and television shows that have taken the idea of a fun-loving, happy clown and turned it on its head, introducing the maniacal killer character clowns into our thriller lexicon.

From a neuro-biology perspective, Schlozman said clowns also “violate” the rules of pattern recognition.

“We know what a person looks like -- they’ve got two eyes, a nose and a mouth, and so do clowns,” Schlozman said. But with clowns, their facial features are exaggerated and “grotesque.”

In addition, their features are frozen or “stuck,” says Schlozman.

“There’s a permanently painted smile or a permanently painted frown, so you don’t actually know what their motivation is,” he said. “That’s I think what gives people a bit of the willies.”

Schlozman acknowledges some of the fear of clowns is circumstance.

“I think clowns at the circus or a birthday party are not that scary,” Schlozman said. “Clowns in your backyard – that’s a little creepy. I wouldn’t want to see it.”

(So now we know!)

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