Have I had enough? Yes - of THIS!

Ironically, this is a comment about comments that never got posted on YouTube. I've had considerable discouragement over my channel lately. Over 13 years, I've built it up to 20,500+ subscribers and over 3,000 videos - but my views are absolutely in the toilet now, without any change in the quality or the work that goes into them. People have even been calling me out on "commenting too much" on other people's videos, which makes no sense as I think my comments are much more well-thought-out than the average and don't attack anyone. Maybe that's why?

So I had no real place to post this, and decided to plop it down here. It's my thoughts on what has happened to social media and the uncharitable, sometimes ruthless Wild West that is the internet.

This evolved into an essay, so skip it if it’s too long! But I have a few things to say about the internet in general, and YouTube in particular, as I’ve experienced it since I started my channel as a hobby in 2011. I have had a number of people reply to my comments about Gypsy Rose Blanchard, claiming I comment too much, I’m in every comments section, and (as a result) I have no life, I should get a job, and should just stop all this because I have nothing to add to the conversation. (I got this one, nearly verbatim, just a few hours ago.) Surprisingly, these are NOT all from the pro-Gypsy camp, which really does shock me. I generally do not promote myself (though it seems like everyone else does, relentlessly, perhaps just to survive the sharks in the water), but to be told I have no life based on my writing hits every nerve in my psyche.

As for an explanation as to why I “write too much”, I am a professional writer, have published hundreds of newspaper columns, book reviews and magazine articles, poetry and short stories, and published three novels (with publishers, NOT self-published). I established my channel in 2011 and have posted more than 3,000 videos, and have 20,500+ subscribers. I don’t mention any of this, ever, because it makes me very uncomfortable to self-promote, though I see it everywhere and all the time, and it is beginning to wear me down. It really does seem to me that this is what YouTube is all about now: subs, views, links, numbers, numbers, numbers! I can appreciate the fact that people need to make a living, but there is such relentless hustling going on that I am beginning to wonder if it is about people anymore.

I do have a lot to say, and maybe some people don’t like it, but I try never to be disrespectful to anyone and believe my comments are well-thought-out. People can skip them if they want. When I hear creators say over and over again “I’d love to hear what you guys think”, and  when I think I DO have something to say, I tend to want to SAY it without being clapped down by people I thought were on my side. It has just happened too many times for me to ignore.

 Writing is what I do. Next to my family, it is my life. When yet another person tells me to shut up because I don’t know what I am talking about, it hurts. I am beginning to think I may end up having to wind up my YouTube experience because it is just not the deal I signed on for. At all. Sad, because it used to be so fun and enjoyable, and it was a way to share all my hobbies, particularly during lockdown. But those days appear to be over. I don’t know this place anymore.

Haters, trolls, and poached chicken breasts

Every once in a while I see a comments section that is so bizarre, I have to try to convey the essence of it here (with no names or dates or other identifying marks, so if someone comes after me, I will plead ignorance). I was sitting there half-asleep, late at night as usual,  watching one of those wholesome down-home cooking channels on YouTube, when I saw a rather incredible exchange of comments between viewers and the "tuber" (with her comments in italics). Obviously, some comments which the cooking person thought were offensive had already been deleted, so the conversation started here: 

I was not cutting you down, just thought it could of gone a little faster. Sorry.

cutting me down isn't possible, you wanted me to read and respond or you would not have left the comment -It's ok though, I don't strive to please people I don't know. I merely am trying to create memories for my family and I'm sharing some recipes. take care

WOW, guess you can't take it right. Everyone has an opinion you better get use to it. Sorry you feel that way. Lets stop this please. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings that was just my opinion.

You didn't hurt my feelings, that is not possible as I don't know you. I don't have to get use to rude folks, but its always amazing that when I respond to their rude comments, they find me rude. LOL - Mirrors are ugly sometimes. Opinions are great when they are solicited. At no point in the vid did I ask for your opinion. Leaving a comment is NOT an opinion when you go out of your way to be negative. Take care, when you stop leaving comments, I will stop . There is a chance, I'm not the channel for you and I'll just delete and block you, sad but it would not appear that you are not a supporter, but the opposite.

  

If your going to stay in this business you better be a little stronger. It was not a cut down just an opinion. Sorry.

Business?? surely your kidding. You DON'T know me so I'm not sure how you know my strength, and AGAIN, i didn't ask for your opinion. :)

(Whewsy! I couldn't believe the overkill here, the extreme sensitivity and snippyness towards someone who had probably said something like, "This video ran a little too slow". Several others echoed the same sentiment, but this time it brought about an actual attack. "You didn't hurt my feelings, that is not possible as I don't know you" is pretty cold. What is really weird, to me, is the fact that the woman says "if I want your opinion I'll ask for it!" Her implication is that a comments section should not include any opinions. What's it for, then? Anyway, as usual a lot of clucking biddies came to her defense:)

I loved the stainless steel sounds. Better than using teflon pans that scrap off and cause health issues. Chicken breast can be a little bland but adding spices and herbs solves that problem. Any good cook knows that. Someone said lighting was not so good. If not it didn't matter, I didn't miss a thing !! These are on my menu for tomorrow night. Hubby and I love chicken pot pies.

Bless your sweet heart!! Thanks for watching, Sissie!!

("Sissie"? I assume this woman is Southern. Maybe it's just that anyone who praises her is obviously her sister.)

I truly liked the idea & recipe but honey, don't even reply to these negative ppl. I can't believe their rudeness!! Some needs their tongues boiled because that's so unnessacery & hurtful!! I believe alot of jealousy because they didn't make the vlog!! U have explained that it was a spur of the moment idea & ur son started videoing!! Don't respond to those kind of ppl cause it puts u on their level. Not coming bk at all is better!! I liked it & no video is perfect! I live alone and these r ideal for singles too because I can fix ahead & freeze. Thank u for ur time & idea!! Ppl need to lighten up & if u can't say something positive then move on!! Again, thanks & God Bless!!

Thank you I love the ladies that wear "capes" :) you are my hero today ! Perfection is not something I achieve, but I strive everyday. I'm NOT a cooking show so I have no idea why they complain or think I'm interested in their critique - but whatever LOL - its for the women like you and me that I make videos along with my family which they love them no matter who doesn't.

(Tongues boiled? For saying the video went on too long or the lighting was poor? The overreactions and wrong assumptions in comments sections never cease to amaze me. By the way, this video was posted on an actual cooking/lifestyle channel, one that she had maintained for several years already, and was hardly "spur-of-the-moment". Comments weren't disabled, so didn't that mean people could comment, or did it all have to be sticky-gooey praise?)

As a Therapist it crossed my mind here, that what we give attention to...we get more of: ignore or delete the rude ones. Keep on Pioneering, you have plenty of folks interested in what you offer! Bon Appetite.

Great point, and I appreciate your point. However, ignoring can also suppress emotions that are not healthy nor truthful , but you are correct, and I do delete and block some and will continue to monitor MY channel :) I'm always amazed what folks wills say behind the computer screen they would never say to your face. LOL

(Right. A Therapist chimes in! Get ready for world-problem-solving pronouncements. What she is saying, in essence, is that if we give attention to poaching our chicken breasts, what we will get is . . . more poached chicken breasts. Profound! But finally, someone gets fed up with all this ass-licking bullshit and says what she thinks:)

Wtf is wrong with you? .....There is a comment section here for a reason......It does not say complements only......People are going to tell you what they think when you put your sht out there..... And you do need some criticism..... It doesn't mean we want you to read and respond, frankly, I don't care if you read this OR respond. I am commenting on that video, because you were going to take my time to watch it. .... Like I said, have you ever watched a cooking video?.....A cooking show?..... They do not spend all their time walking back-and-forth to get sht.....It is there and ready......And you get defensive when ppl point out flaws..... Why don't you just take it as a learning opportunity, vs saying you didn't ask for anyone's opinion. You DID ASK when you allow comments on your video..... This is a public forum. Not just for compliments, not just for your fans, but for everyone. If you don't like it, disable the damn comments!

(Oddly enough, there is no response. Did the tuber go storming off, or what?)