"I could feel his eyes accusing me!"

Ladies! Would you like a permanent solution to the inexplicable fatigue which makes you want to leave social events before anyone else? COULD IT BE that your fatigue is due to. . . vaginal odor?

According to "science", Lysol provides a "simple protection" for health and youthfulness (for nothing is more of a drag than an old, worn-out vagina). "Sane habits of living, sane habits of diet and the proper practice of feminine hygiene" will undoubtedly turn you into a cartwheeling party girl who doesn't want to go home until at least 5:00 a.m.

Remember! "Only a poison can kill germs". Stop using Lysol to disinfect toilets and get rid of cockroaches in the cellar! Send for our plain brown envelope TODAY.

BLOGGER'S P. S. I picked this ad out of the bundle I posted last time, because it seemed unusually cryptic. Of course it's a well-known fact by now that Lysol wasn't used as a feminine hygiene product at all, but as a form of birth control. You have to read very carefully between the lines of text to see how the pharmaceutical companies tiptoed around illegality, for advertising birth control was almost as illegal as using it.

This one may be one of the more bizarre entries, though many of these ads claim that marriages often end simply because the wife's genitals stink. No kidding, that's what they actually say. So she's supposed to use this carbolic substance (known to cause a number of deaths by ulcerating the inside of the uterus) to get rid of the horrendous stink and replace it with - you all know what Lysol smells like, right? And back then, it was 100 times more powerful and used a different active ingredient, because there were no regulations.

So this one. . . it's strange, but I can only figure out that the wife is exhausted and can't enjoy the evening because she's pregnant. Well, she's done it again! Now she can't "stay young with her husband", which I assume means keeping up with his sexual demands. The reference to staying young hints at midlife pregnancy, which was dreaded more than anything due to the possibility of Down syndrome and other late-birth calamities. Not to mention the heavy stigma that attended those births. It just wasn't seemly that people that old were still having sex.

These ads almost always talked about "germs" and "mucus matter" and other things that come perilously close to describing semen. The word "protection" always appeared somewhere. The sad thing is, though many women very likely fell for this and depended on Lysol, it just didn't work. Douches are likely to propel those little swimmers right up into the promised land. Better stick with Coca-Cola, which at least would be more pleasant a taste for hubby than a mouthful of chemicals. 

(I just had an awful thought about the Pepsi Challenge, but I will keep it to myself.)

Random baggage

Such a douche

IS "CALENDAR FEAR" UNDERMINING YOUR HEALTH?

With maddening slowness time drags on! . . . And woman waits!. . . Waits and worries over her upset health.

Seldom does she know that FEAR itself . . . FEAR of an imaginary crisis is the very thing that throws her delicate feminine mechanism out of gear. . . Seldom does she realize that this health-stealing FEAR is the direct result of either timid ignorance or gross neglect of proper marriage hygiene.

She has failed to follow that correct method of feminine antisepsis as endorsed for over 40 years by leading doctors, clinics, hospitals and gynecologists. They have freely recommended the regular and continual use of "Lysol" for feminine health, daintiness, and mental poise.

The "Lysol" method is so simple and easy to follow. . . The results so refreshing and agreeable. . . so safe and effective.

In sharp contrast to certain chlorine-type antiseptics, "Lysol" contains no free caustic alkali to inflame, sear and toughen tender tissues. . . And unlike these chlorine compounds, which lose 95% of their effectiveness in the presence of organic matter, "Lysol" retains its power to destroy germ-life.

Don't be caught again in the grip of "CALENDAR FEAR". . .Practice intimate feminine cleanliness. Use "Lysol". Your druggist has it. Your doctor recommends it. . . One thing more, write for a copy of the new, free "Lysol" booklet, "Marriage Hygiene - the important part it plays in the ideal marriage." You will welcome its trustworthy advice. Please use the coupon.

WRITTEN BY WOMEN FOR WOMEN

A brand new book on woman's oldest problem. . . Frank and fearless. . .Contains three leading articles by world-famous women physicians. . .Send today for "Marriage Hygiene - the important part it plays in the ideal marriage".

What a douche!

This is the latest in a long, incredible line of ads aimed at women, presumably post-War. This absolutely baffled me at first (actually, it still does). It seems to be hinting, nay, stating that married women have a certain delicate little problem, one so offputting it can "ruin" a happy marriage.

Not to put too fine a point on it, their cunts stink.

We don't know why (except that we do!), as these are women who look to be clean and tidy, women who change their underwear daily and take baths. (And wash their hair in the sink and roll it up in a towel like a turban. Oh, I remember.)

I can only decipher this mystery as such: women smell so horrible and rank and offensive because they have had sex with their husbands. So it's HIS excrescenses that stink so much, except SHE gets the blame for it, and for breaking up the marriage.

So what's the solution (so to speak)? Why, Lysol Brand Disinfectant! You don't use it straight (or at least I don't think so), but add about a teaspoon to your "regular" douche, the douche you have every day because women's private parts are inherently smelly and foul.

I can only imagine how she'd smell THEN. Like a freshly-scrubbed kitchen floor, maybe, or a toilet that had just been swabbed out. A real turn-on, and obviously preferable to smelling like your husband's rotten festering day-old spooge.

Personally, I thought Lysol was for drinking when you're really desperate, or when the liquor store clerk throws you out for loitering. It goes well anywhere, most especially under a bridge, and with anything, namely Sterno. But for cunt hygiene, well, it's not the first thing I would have thought of.

But there is one thing I know, honorable readers (and forgive me for using the word cunt, it's the only one I could think of besides twat) - it's that stupid-ass HUSBAND who is the real douche, and for that, he deserves a Lysol enema so potent it will spurt out of his ears.

Love-quiz. . . For Married Folks Only

(This is a word-for-blotchy-word transcript of one of the many Lysol "Love Quiz" ads "for married folk only". The coy reference to "Lysol. . . every time" could only mean one thing.)

COULD THIS MARRIAGE HAVE BEEN SAVED?

A. Yes. . . had the wife taken heed of her husband's increasing coolness, known the secret of thorough feminine hygiene, kept herself lovely to love.

Q. What does feminine hygiene have to do with keeping married happiness?

A. Far more than some women realize. . . but the WISE wife has the assurance of complete daintiness when she uses "Lysol" brand disinfectant REGULARLY in the douche.

"Check these facts with your doctor. . . "

Q. Many women use a douche only now and then. Is regularity in douching so important?

A. Yes, indeed. . . it should be a routine procedure with every married woman, and always with "Lysol". Because it has marvelous deodorant properties due to its PROVEN ability to kill germs instantly on contact.

Q. How about homemade solutions, such as salt and water?

A. They are old-fashioned and ineffectual, not to be compared with "Lysol"'s scientific formula. "Lysol" has tested efficiency in contact with organic matter. It is both effective and safe for delicate tissues when used as directed. 

ALWAYS USE "LYSOL" in the douche for its efficiency in combating both germs and odours. It will help you feel you have perfect grooming (for) romance.

Check these facts with your doctor (unintelligible)

Why 4 OUT OF 5 PREFER "LYSOL"!

For Feminine Hygiene use "Lysol" Every time

FREE BOOKLET! 

(the rest unintelligible, but contains the word "Lysol" at least three times. The product name appears about ten times in the copy. So we won't forget.)

OK then, so this is a repeat of something I did awhile ago, but the same truths apply. Bizarre and obnoxious as advertising is now, it was infinitely worse then.

I'm sorry, it's late, but I had to show you this. I hope you can read the text. I had to look at it twice, or more likely about 600 times to believe what I was seeing.

Women were conned into believing they were so stinky and drippy, the only solution was to douche every day with LYSOL. What did they have, bugs up their vagina? Were their twats so desperately in need of disinfection?

The add doesn't say this, in fact nobody ever says it, but MEN are the main reason women get stinky in the first place. You try getting ejaculated into, and not smell like an elderly salmon.

This ad is more horrific than the one about "more doctors recommend Camels". But if it doesn't work as a douche, I guess you could always drink it.

(Discovery! This ad wasn't a fluke: now I find a slew of them. A whole sociological treatise! If a woman smells like a woman, her marriage is over. If she smells like Lysol, however. . . va-va-VOOM!)

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html

http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm