The worst ad in television history

This thing is just unbelievably primitive, from the screechy adult-pretending-to-be-a-kid to the brain-dead-sounding Dad, and graphics that look like they were cut out with garden shears. But Colorforms were what we all played with, and nobody complained. 

Incredible discovery: I swear I'm not making this up!

I swear, I swear, folks, I do not make these things up.

While researching old, creepy doll gifs and vintage YouTube commercial vids to scare the living hoo-ha out of my sweet little grandchild, I came across a lot of things. The doll ads were the best: Betsy Wetsy, Tickles, and Bonny Bride who glides along on a wheeled contraption under her wedding gown and hurls her bouquet from a springloaded arm.

Some of the old toys I hadn't heard of however, including one construction set called Blippo the Builder. Looked like a cross between Dinky toys and the old Meccano set my brothers owned.

But then I got a good look at Blippo. Ye gods! Where had I seen that face before??

YES!

Whoever designed Super Mario Brothers, whether consciously or unconsciously, ripped off the likeness of Blippo. It simply couldn't be anyone else. Same hat, same overalls, same moustache, same EVERYTHING.

This will haunt my dreams.

Baby Laugh-a-lot!

OK, I got carried away today. I dredged these ads up for my 7-year-old granddaughter, she of the gappy teeth and amazing mind. She loves this kind of nostalgia and makes video ads of her own, with Chatty Cathy saying all sorts of subversive things. This one is the limit, I think. Nowadays parents can find the battery chamber and disable toys like this, but this one. . . it's a whole new definition of crazy.

As for the others, I was aghast at Barbie and her pooping dog, and even more taken aback by Willie Wee-Wee or whatever it is, a little boy's peeing penis on full display. I remember there was a Baby Joey when Gloria had a baby on All in the Family, and there was a huge dispute about it because he was anatomically correct. I think they pulled it off (excuse me) the shelves and/or neutered him. So how did this little devil get by the censors?

The Meow Mix one. . . what can I say. It sends my grandkids into peals of laughter every time.

Gaylord: let's rename him, shall we?