IT'S HERE! Official guidelines for safe sex in 2021

Somehow I missed this one! I had to blink twice when I saw it. There were many other suggestions for "safe sex" that made no sense to me, but I couldn't bear to list all of them - including, horrors, the "m-word", which the article recommended for men. This is in case it didn't occur to them, or they needed government approval to do so.

The hole-in-the-wall/f***-a-chicken thing (or cut a hole in a watermelon?) is also meant specifically for MEN to find sexual release. All the tips named were oriented thusly, since it goes without saying that women (well, maybe "good" women) are too busy trotting around looking after everyone else to even THINK about "s - e - x".

Try ‘glory holes’ for safer sex during coronavirus, B.C. CDC says

By Josh K. Elliott Global News

B.C. health officials are recommending an age-old, occasionally cutting-edge tactic for sex during the coronavirus pandemic: “glory holes.”

The B.C. Centre for Disease Control added new recommendations for socially distant sex to its COVID-19 website this week. One of those tips was to try using a “glory hole” — a hole cut into a wall that’s only large enough for a penis to slip through.

Glory holes are typically used for anonymous oral or penetrative sex, according to Urban Dictionary, but they’re also an excellent way to limit physical contact during intercourse, the B.C. CDC says.

“Use barriers, like walls (e.g., glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact,” the health organization writes on its website

The recommendation is just a tip and not a firm rule, according to the website.

 

NOTE: the "tip/firm rule" thing is pretty funny, after all. My mind won't go there when I try to envision any kind of partner on the other side of the drill-hole in the wall, trying desperately to find "something" on the other side. I'm also trying NOT to picture the bizarre arguments between couples: "My God, Ralph, you're going to drill a HOLE in the living room wall?" "But B. C. Health officials said I should." Some men with insecurities may worry it may soon pass into law, with fines or even arrests for "normal" missionary sex with no pesky need to please a partner.

This may lead to yet another uniquely pandemic-related shortage. Will power-drills soon be gone off the shelves? And doesn't this sort of lend credence to calling sex "drilling"? Just thinking out loud. But in this Brave New World, sex partners may well be a thing (pardon the expression) of the past - SOLVING the overpopulation problem once and for all! So there's definitely a silver lining. 

But once this is all over, if it ever is, sales of drywall and Polyfilla will go through the roof - so to speak - as embarrassed men realize just what it is they've been doing for so many months. And doctors may be facing a whole new medical issue in men, which I cannot and will not get into.

 

Newborn Goat Hector Makes Friends with Barn Kittens

When things get grim, I gots to get me some Sunflower Farm baby goat videos. And kittens that are bigger than the kids! I am beginning to think that videos like these, along with sour peach rings from the Superstore and getting a video of a cormorant on my walk, are what is helping us survive these desperately awful times. What's helping YOU get through? 

Merry Christmas - and GOODBYE, 2020!

Merry Christmas from The Blogger (and Bentley)!

1950s Hospital Of The Future, With Sliding Baby Drawer

Of all the horrendously dated, unenlightened videos I've ever seen, this one takes the cake - and the candles, too. In fact, it takes the whole birthday. EVERY feature of this new, state-of-the-art hospital, from bombarding the entire body to 360-degree x-rays to keeping a newborn baby in a sliding drawer, now seems like something out of a horrifying George Orwell novel. But it reveals the roots of impersonal, even dehumanized and dehumanizing hospital "care" which I believe is still the norm. Herd 'em in, and slide 'em out. Imagine if your very first experience after your birth was being stored in a drawer! 

Just one beautiful photo. . .

 

The Chipmunk Song Slowed Down

Ye-e-e-e-e-ss, it's those crazy, wacky chipmunks again, singing The Chipmunk Song, which sounds about as festive as hitting yourself on the head with a hammer. Repeatedly. So that you never have to listen to it again. BUT - and this is a big but - this video reveals what the song would sound like if the chipmunks were on normal speed. It's pretty scary, especially at the end when it becomes downright disturbing. Low, slow voices and normal men's voices (actually, ONE man, David Seville, born with an ethnic-sounding name which I forget) begin to bellow at each other aggressively. A bunch of thugs! Happy listening. 

P. S. His name was Ross Bagdasarian, and I am not sure what nationality he was! Assuming he's dead by now. Here's Wiki:

David Seville is a fictional character, the producer and manager of the fictional singing group Alvin and the Chipmunks. The character was created by Ross Bagdasarian Sr. Bagdasarian had used the name "David Seville" as his stage name prior to the creation of the Chipmunks, while writing and recording novelty records in the 1950s. One of the records, recorded in 1958 under the David Seville stage name, was "Witch Doctor", featuring a sped-up high-pitched vocal technique. Bagdasarian would later use that technique in "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)", which would introduce both Alvin and the Chipmunks as a singing group and Bagdasarian's music producer "Dave". Bagdasarian would go on to create The Alvin Show, based on the Alvin and the Chipmunks group, where he voiced the semi-fictional character David Seville based largely on himself, with Alvin based on Ross's sometimes rebellious son Adam.

.

"Theodore. Simon. Adam. Adam.     . . . AAAA-DAAAAAAMMMM!" 

"O-KAY!" 

(Just doesn't sound quite the same, does it?)

Weird dream #496: on the bayou

Weird dream #496. This one seems more pandemic-related, like everything these days. I had a hair appointment AT LAST, after nearly a year of cutting my own hair. But even though I had been going there for fifteen years, I couldn’t seem to find the salon. “Someone” pointed and said, “You have to walk that way.” Stretched out in front of me, I saw a long, long foot bridge – almost a rope bridge – suspended over a flooded area. Half the bridge was underwater, and I said, “I can’t walk over that!” “Someone” said, “This IS the bayou,” as if I was being silly and demanding. I kept thinking of Hurricane Katrina and wondering how it could have come here. Then “someone else” (looked like a nurse!) told me, “Oh for heaven’s sake, THAT’S not how you get there!” Then I was on a boat. I thought “water taxi?” (thinking of Venice), but it was more like a small pleasure craft. We zoomed along on choppy waters for a long time. Then I realized we were going nowhere. I woke up, got out the razor comb, and trimmed my own hair. AGAIN.

Dreamy ducks: reflections on the lake

This is one of my loveliest duck videos from Como Lake. Pure poetry on the water. Being in nature is the one thing keeping me more-or-less sane during these unbalanced, unbelievable times. 

Victorian Colouring Pages

 

Christopher Walken's FIRST movie role!

Most of my videos get, like, 27 views if I'm lucky (they're a "success" if they break ten), but this one is fast approaching 100,000. If you're a Walken fan, you  may enjoy this curiosity, in which he out-performs everyone else in this rather silly movie.

Compare and contrast. . . I made this slideshow as a tribute to his delightful weirdness. 

Hula Cats Christmas - again!

YESSSS, it's the Hula Cats Christmas - again. The cat singing or meowing Silent Night was the inspiration for the Jingle Cats - or should I say, the Jingle Cats were a direct ripoff - except THOSE meows were heavily synthesized. The hula dance is nothing less than inspired, but I can't find the name of the original animator anywhere. As usual, it has been posted and re-posted into oblivion. Right now, it's the only Christmas reference I can bear. Wouldn't be Christmas (which it isn't) without the Hula Cats! (As an aside, I overheard someone sum up the year 2020 as follows: "January, February, PANDEMIC, December." Just about right.)

Making A Sh*tty Dress To Mark The End of a Sh*tty Year

I haven't even watched this yet, but the title was irresistible! I love this woman's videos - she's a costume historian from Poland, and very funny as well as knowledgeable. Hope you enjoy this! If it's not so good, I'll take it down. I promise. 

I've been looking for this all my LIFE!

 

This was on the back page of a teeny little 2020 calendar that I got free from a realtor. You no longer get free calendars, but just as I was about to pitch it out, I saw this! I scanned/blew it up and could not believe how good it looked, so have been sharing it far and wide. I have waited most of my life for a handy, clear conversion chart for the most common measurements. And it was here all the time! 

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN: People are strange

FINALLY, at long bloody last, this has posted, and I think it's OK. It was totally mangled by YouTube. When  it had been up for 2 years, to my horror, I discovered that all the edits had "come off" and all I had was raw footage, with the soundtrack in the wrong place (ending 30 seconds before the end!). YT would not allow me any further edits and indicated the soundtrack had been muted, which it hadn't. All I could do to salvage it was film it off my monitor with my ancient camcorder, then delete the original, which gave it a second-generation look. But maybe that's OK. Walken has that, too. 

MANDARIN DUCKS; incredibly rare sighting on Burnaby Lake! (part one)

More Mandarin ducks on Burnaby Lake! Since there are NO birds in the back yard (a bear once again ripped our feeders apart), this makes up for it, sort of. The birds will be back, I hope.

Kitty cat gif from long ago

 

MANDARIN DUCKS : incredibly rare sighting on Burnaby Lake! (part five)

I took 45 minutes of footage of this incredible duck sighting on Burnaby Lake. Broke it up into 8 videos, all of which were good enough not to edit. I'll be posting them here when the mood strikes. This makes up for, partially, the fact that my third or fourth bird feeder (this time, brand new) has just been trashed by ANOTHER bear in the yard. No birds at all out there now. 

Cats on TV: Bentley wants in!

My cat Bentley has done some strangely wonderful things, and he tends to be smarter and more sensitive and tuned-in than any of the other family cats. But this was truly extraordinary. For the first time, he became interactive with a TV program, and it was all about cats. He had never done this before - leaped up to paw at the images on the screen and literally try to climb inside it and be part of it. He DID pose majestically in a couple of scenes, giving the shots an oddly 3D look. BTW, he has never done this again, not even with shows featuring cats. He blinks once, then walks away. TV is such a waste of time. 

Glorious Amelie!

 

Amélie Diéterle (20 February 1871 – 20 January 1941) was a French actress and opera singer. She was one of the popular actresses of the Belle Époque until the beginning of the Années Folles. Amélie Diéterle inspired the poets Léon Dierx and Stéphane Mallarmé and the painters Auguste Renoir, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec and Alfred Philippe Roll.

Mademoiselle Amélie Diéterle par Auguste Renoir  

Mademoiselle Amélie Diéterle (Tea Time 1911) par Auguste Renoir 

Demon Possessed Singing Trout

OK. . . it's time for this one again. Somehow (unlike me) it never gets old.

My cat sleeps with his eyes open!

 

I can't say for sure. But his ever-open glassine orbs give me the shivers late at night, when he seldom blinks and sometimes grunts, nodding his head sharply at me, wanting neither attention nor food. WHAT DOES HE WANT??

Trump praised QAnon during meeting about keeping the Senate

Trump praised QAnon during meeting about keeping the Senate 

BLOGGER'S NOTE. Not everyone feels safe clicking on links, no matter how scrupulously careful you are - so I copied and pasted this short piece for all to see. Some of T-Rump's most rabid Republican supporters, including the most influential in the party,  are now pleading with him to step down, or at least shut up, as he seems increasingly out of touch with reality. Even FOX NEWS has supposedly turned against him - and they uncritically run tories of alien invasions and "dark web" intrigue. Should I feel hopeful about this? I'm into feeling hopeful as much as I can, and astonished that the vaccine is actually being delivered and administered RIGHT NOW, not a year from now as I always assumed. So I hold on to that, and Biden's clear and dignified win, and the hope that 2021 CANNOT be as wretched as this past year, which T-Rump still insists was his best year ever because he WON BY A LANDSLIDE.

Trump praised QAnon during meeting about keeping the Senate 

By Manu Raju and Sam Fossum, CNN

Updated 1:55 PM ET, Thu December 3, 2020

Washington (CNN) President Donald Trump brought up Rep.-elect Marjorie Taylor Greene's support for the dangerous QAnon conspiracy theory during a meeting on keeping the Senate with Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and other aides, a source familiar with the matter confirmed to CNN.

This person confirmed that Trump told those present that QAnon consists of people who "basically believe in good government," which led to silence in the room. White House chief of staff Mark Meadows then said he had not heard the group described as such.

 

Trump's comments were first reported by The Washington Post.

QAnon's prevailing conspiracy theories -- none based in fact -- claim that dozens of Satan-worshipping politicians and A-list celebrities work in tandem with governments around the globe to engage in child sex abuse. The group also peddles conspiracies about coronavirus and mass shootings -- none grounded in reality.

Followers also believe there is a "deep state" effort to annihilate Trump.

The group has been labeled a domestic terror threat by the FBI. In public, Trump has claimed he doesn't "know much about the movement, other than I understand they like me very much, which I appreciate," while repeatedly declining opportunities to condemn the organization's extremism. 

As for Greene, Trump has called her a "future Republican star." But she has a history of prejudice and a proclivity for amplifying conspiracies. She said that George Soros, a Holocaust survivor, collaborated with Nazis. She called "Q" a "patriot" who is "worth listening to." She said that the deadly White supremacist rally held in 2017 in Charlottesville, Virginia, was an "inside job" to "further the agenda of the elites."

Greene said on Facebook that "there is an Islamic invasion into our government offices right now" and urged adherents of Islam and Sharia law to "stay over there in the Middle East," according to Politico. She said that Black people "are held slaves to the Democratic Party," while White males are "the most mistreated group of people in the United States today."

Greene backed away from some of those comments during her campaign. In August, she told Fox News that QAnon "wasn't part of my campaign" and that once she "started finding misinformation," she "chose another path." 

But Greene has continued to spread misinformation and court controversy. In September, Greene asserted in a tweet that "children should not wear masks," rejecting the recommendation of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other public health professionals. She also posted on Facebook an image of herself holding a gun alongside images of Democratic Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, encouraging "strong conservative Christians to go on the offense against these socialists who want to rip our country apart." Facebook removed the photo by the following day, saying it violated the social network's policies.

 

The Troll Doll Channel: Sugar Plum Trollies!

 

 

I would normally go all soft and sentimental at this time of year, but I don't know. . . this year it's hard. I don't need to explain why. Melancholy sweeps over me, but it's a damn sight better than depression, which has miraculously left me alone for quite a while now. 

This feeling is reactive, it is actual, not some phantom of my brain - so real that it seems to touch absolutely everyone. We're all in this together, we hear every day (all day), and yet, each of us is "in it" alone, on some level that is absolutely private. 

I think I have gone mad sometimes with the trolls and the dollies, but I cannot tell you how much pleasure the collection has given me, what a wonderful escape and sanctuary it is for me to enter my office and come upon Trollandia in all its glory, with its suburbs Trollville and Troll Towers, not to mention the veritable rock garden of trolls living around my keyboard. This thing has evolved, pieces have been added (and hardly anything taken away), it has expanded and grown more various, and I've taken huge comfort in it - because SOMETHING has to be good at this supposedly-festive time of year that is quickly turning into a soggy mattress of non-celebration.

So here are a few of my Sugar Plum trollies, with - probably - many many (TOO many) more to come.