Wednesday, November 7, 2018

The incredible Camel Toe Sisters





SOLID POTATO SALAD

The Ross Sisters '44

Some folks like their 'taters Lyonnaise,
Some prefer French fries,
But I like mine fixed with mayonnaise,
Coleslaw on the side.

Solid potato salad,
That's solid salad, Jack!
Solid potato salad, boy,
Take a plate, fill it up, bring it right back!

Solid potato salad,
And let's have no "yak-yak!".
Solid potato salad, boy,
Take a plate, fill it up, bring it right back!




The farmer said to the spud,
"Your skin looks mighty pallid,
So I'll dig you later, bud,
For some solid - potato salad!".

Solid potato salad,
That's solid salad, Jack!
Solid potato salad, boy,
Take a plate, fill it up and bring it right back!

Take a plate, fill it up and bring it right back!

Take a plate, fill it up and bring it right back!

Take a plate, fill it up and bring it right back!

Solid potato - salad,
These are really fine and you'd better latch on!
Solid potato - salad,
For there's a date, get a plate before it's all gone!



 
The farmer said to the spud,
"You're skin looks mighty pallid,
So I'll dig you later, bud,
For some solid - poatao salad!".

Solid potato salad,
That's solid salad, Jack!
Solid potato salad, boy,
Take a plate, fill it up,
Take a plate, fill it up and bring it right back!
Take a plate, fill it up and bring it right back!





PLEASE NOTE. This is, without a doubt, the strangest video you will ever watch, or at least the strangest 1940s/movie musical/sister act/contortionist routine. These girls appear to be half snake/half rubber, and could likely ooze under the crack of a door if they wanted to. Their scant costumes and the impossible writhing that happens underneath them lead to a distinct recurrence of camel toe. (Maybe it was part of the act?)

Most videos of this legendary routine start with the contortionist "dance" number, but the song was so strange, so incomprehensible, that I had to post the whole thing. These women were no doubt extremely talented, but it was a specialized thing suited to vaudeville, which by the 1940s had pretty much died out. Radio still ruled supreme (and didn't lend itself to contortionist acts), there was no TV yet and thus no Ted Mack or Ed Sullivan Show, and by that time they would've been too old for these incredible contortions anyway. 





If you want to just see the contortionist routine, start at 2:24. But the song is so odd, so incomprehensible, that I suggest you watch it too. There were some weird "foodie" songs in the '40s, the one about "the frim-fram sauce with shifafa on the side", and the one about "hold tight, hold tight, Mama wants some seafood" (or whatever it is), so maybe this was in the same genre. Nat King Cole recorded it, and subsequent lyrics razor-bladed out "your skin looks mighty pallid" - a sly wink Nat would appreciate, but horribly racist to anyone else (and most of the lyrics I found on the internet omitted it). 

With or without pallid potato salad, watch this. Be amazed, and a little afraid. Or a lot.





I don't want French fried potatoes
Red ripe tomatoes
I'm never satisfied
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

I don't want pork chops and bacon
That won't awaken
My appetite inside
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

Now a Fellas really got to eat
And a Fellas should eat right
Five will get you ten
I'm gonna feed myself right tonight






I don't want fish cakes and rye bread
You heard what I said
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

Now a Fellas really got to eat
And a Fellas should eat right
Five will get you ten
I'm gonna feed myself right tonight

I don't want fish cakes and rye bread
You heard what I said
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

Now if you don't have it, Just bring me the check for the water


(and if that's not weird enough - )




Choo choo to Broadway foo Cincinnati
Don't get icky with the one two three
Life is just so fine on the solid side of the line, rip


Hold tight, hold tight, a-hold tight, hold tight
Fododo-de-yacka saki
Want some sea food mama
Shrimps and rice they're very nice
Hold tight, hold tight, a-hold tight, hold tight
Fododo-de-yacka saki






Want some sea food mama
Shrimps and rice they're very nice
I like oysters, lobsters too,
I like my tasty butter fish, fooo
When I come home late at night
I get my favorite dish, fish 

Hold tight, hold tight, a-hold tight, hold tight
Fododo-de-yacka saki
Want some seafood mama
Shrimps and rice they're very niiiiiiiiiiiiice
Bad da do daa, da de do da do daa, ba da da da do daaaa
Fododododo Yacka sacki






want some seafood Mama
Shrimps and rice they're always very nice
Fododo dya, Fododo dya Fododo-de-yacka saki
want some seafood Mama
Oh won't you give it to me
cause I'm as happy as can be
When the seafood comes to me

La-da-da La-da-da La-da-da
I like oysters, lobsters too
Ba-da-da-dat-dat-da-dada-data
When I get home late at night
I get my favorite dish, fish






Hold tight, hold tight, a-hold tight, hold tight
Fododo-de-yacka saki
Want some sea food mama
Shrimps and rice are very nice
Ho, ho, hold tight won't cha hold tight, Hold tight
Fododododo Yacka sacki
want some seafood Mama

Shrimpers a-hand ri-hice a-hare very nice
I like oysters, lobsters too,
I like my tasty butter fish, Joe
When I come home late at night
drip drip dripin' on the window pane
Wash it






Hold tight do-dat-do-day
Hold tight she wants some seafood Mama
Shrimpers and rice they're very nice
I like oysters, lobsters too,
I like my tasty butter fish, fooo

When I come home late at night
I get my favorite dish, fish
Hold tight, hold tight
Hold tight, hold tight
Want some seafood Oh Mama
Shrimpers and rice Oh Hold tight