Strange are the ways of Facebook. Nearly as strange as the ways of the world. I've received spammy things in my "filtered messages" file, such as:
Hello you got a nice sparkling smile i'm David by name
i do everything at I AM A GENERAL CONTRACTOR
HELLO PRETTY LADT I WAS JUST PASSING WHEN I SEE YOUR WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL FACE I WAS CATIVATED IF YOU DONT MINE CAN WE BE FRIENDS
Hello Dear what a nice smile you got,am new on here please can we be friends? i stumbled on your profile and notice your wonderful smile and decided to say hello. Always wear that smile.
You and Justine Favour aren't connected on Facebook
Lives in Kharkov, Ukraine
hi, my name is Grace, i saw your profile and i became interested to know more about you, please can you give me the chance to know more about you? i will be very happy to be your good friend . this is my private E_mail ( babegrace222 (@) yahoo.co.uk ) PLEASE DON'T REPLY ME HERE. CONTACT ME THROUGH MY PRIVATE E_MAIL, SO THAT I WILL SEND YOU MORE PRIVATE PICTURES ( firstname.lastname@example.org )
Never mind that my profile pictures are usually photos of horses or parrots or vintage cars, or something else non-human. They still think I have a wonderful smile.
I've also seen some suspiciously click-baity-looking Facebook pages which plaster generic comments all over unrelated pages, i. e. history or science or WTF?? Dumb Video of the Day!! These pages have names like Wisdom of Life or Gateway of Peace or whatever. I don't know the purpose of these pages, and I don't want to know. But I find it irritating to have to skip over long, florid, pointless comments that have nothing whatsoever to do with the subject matter.
That is, it irritated me UNTIL TODAY. Today I encountered a Facebook comment that blew all those other Facebook comments out of the water. It cascaded down from the mountaintop of gibberish like a landslide of mind-numbing, soul-sucking irrelevancy. It was on one of my favorite mindless, funny-animals-doing-crazy-things-in-short-little-videos-that-don't-tax-your-mental-capacity pages, and the comment related to a video of very large wet dogs bounding around that looked like mastiffs with poodle coats.