Thursday, December 1, 2011

Pardon me miss, but I've never done this

(From a musical called Little Me, unknown.)


Pardon me, miss, but I've never done this
With a real live girl.

Straight off the farm with an actual arm
Full of real live girl.

Pardon me if your affectionate squeeze
Fogs up my glasses and buckles my knees,

I'm simply drowned in the sight and the sound
And the scent and the feel
Of a real live girl.


Nothing can beat getting swept off your feet
By a real live girl.
Dreams in your bunk don't compare with a hunk
Of a real live girl.

Speaking of miracles, this must be it;
Just when I started to learn how to knit.
I'm all in stitches from finding what riches
A waltz can reveal
With a real live girl.

Real live girl.
Real live girl.

I've seen photographs and facsimiles
That have set my head off in a whirl,
But no work of art gets you right in the heart
Like a real live girl.

Take your statues of Juno,
And the Venus de My-lo.
When a fellow wants you-know,
(We know.)

Who wants substitutes? I'll o-
Verlook everyone in the book
For a real
Sexy Sally or Suzabel.
Take your Venetian or Roman or Grecian
I'll take something more "uzabel."

Girls were like fellas was once my belief;
What a reversal, and what a relief.

I'll take the flowering hat and the towering heel
And the squeal
Of a real live girl.

Real live girl.
Real live girl.

Go be a holdout for Helen of Troy,
I am a healthy American boy.

I'd rather gape at the dear little shape
Of the stern and the keel

Of a full-time vocational,


It's December the first: let's have a party in my rec room

Seeing these guys again is like visiting old friends. I was an SCTV fanatic for many years, starting with their humble beginnings in Edmonton, Alberta (I swear the hot tub scene in that Joan Crawford sendup was filmed at the Edmonton Inn), then soaring to great heights on American national TV. Seldom has a comedy ensemble worked so well. Never noticed the saxophone growing out of Rick Moranis' head before.

SCTV Christmas in Leutonia - Cabbage Rolls and Coffee

We watched this one over and over again. What the hell was it about? But it was funny. Kind of like the Five Neat Guys (see other clip). I thought this one was festive, especially hiding the egg and the Christmas Budgie. I won't get into exchanging the socks.