Sunday, May 8, 2016

Sunday surprise


The Secret Revealed: Amazing Weight Loss in SECONDS!

I keep thinking I've come to the bottom of the barrel of evangelical fakery, and then I find something like this. Lately I've seen hundreds, if not thousands of religious videos featuring astonishingly transparent acts of dishonesty and deception, eagerly embraced by not only the disciples shown in the videos, but by people posting in the comments section. These all seem to be of the "praise Jesus", "praise the Prophet of profit" variety. None of the comments are critical at all, and that scares me.

But no. Things are about to sink still lower. Michael will never row THIS boat ashore, because it's sitting on the bottom of the lake. Worse than useless prayer cloths mass-produced out of craft felt, more deceptive than "manna" made out of stale crackers, this guy's claims of INSTANT weight loss - I mean, dramatic weight loss that makes people's clothes fall off - are beyond astounding. They are ludicrous, but frightening at the same time. It's an example of the power of one man to bring everyone into line and get them all believing the same thing, even if the "thing" is a stupid, nonsensical act of trickery.

This is the "Prophet" Emmanuel Makandiwa and his amazing "Fat Burn" prayer rally, in which  middle-aged black women (who seem to make up practically his entire audience) claim to drop multiple kilograms while standing on the scale. This miracle happens with the usual histrionics and hysteria while Makandiwa yells "shrink! Shrink!", much the way Oral Roberts used to bellow "Heal! Heal!"

Women's skirts get loose, not in minutes, but in seconds, and even fall off. The entire audience screams its approval. No one knows if these floppy-skirted women are "plants" or not; presumably they are, and the scale is obviously rigged. But no one seems to doubt this guy. Probably he has several dozen Cadillacs parked on his estate, like most of these predatory fakes.

This is my favorite! The amazing descending scale.  Is this astounding weight loss permanent, one wonders, or will it fall apart once you stop praying/handing over your dollars to Big Mak?

Yes, God humiliates. He's referring to a woman whose skirt fell off from instant weight loss, but I'd be a little humiliated just to be in that audience.

Please forgive my frequent use of gifs (which sometimes take a minute or so to smooth out: they have to download or something); the video this travesty was embedded in was a long compilation, and I am sure when I post videos, very few people watch them (or at least not all of them, if you're like me).  This had convenient captions, though strangely enough, the man speaks in English. Perhaps this is meant specifically for export to YouTube. There has got to be a financial pipeline in there somewhere.

"God does humiliating acts." Oh really. God?