Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Just twist my arm!

Like clowns, dolls are all uniformly terrifying.

I don't care how cute they are.

They are demonic. And none more than Saucy, a pert-looking thing dressed in pink. Wrench her arm around, and all sorts of things will happen. 

Since no video can do this justice, I sat there and made an endless series of gifs of her twisting, wrenching, macabre facial expressions. Since this was 1965, long before the advent of sophisticated robotics, there must have been some kind of grinding metallic mechanism under the vinyl face that made her expression change like that: and wouldn't THAT make a great YouTube video, if someone peeled back Saucy's skin to reveal the Borg-like structure within?

There's a certain amount of overlap here because my Makeagif program cuts off a second or so at the beginning and end of the time you set up for your gif. So I've had to compensate. We don't want to miss one second of the fun!

So enjoy these - or don't enjoy them: be creeped out by them. I know I am.

Oh, and! Each gif is approximately 20 seconds long, unlike the jerky two- or three-second things you normally see. So you have to spend a bit of time with them. Oh come on, do it anyway. 

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I can see through anything

Here is Baby See n' Say, a doll who can see through things. Yes, it's true.

This is a one-doll post, because one short gif kind of gives you the idea of this doll's repertoire of facial expressions: jibbering lips and huge, rolling eyes. It's what she SAYS that's horrifying. Her statements start off innocently enough, but grow more and more disturbing, hinting at some sort of creepy supernatural ability - including the capacity to see through things (including you). Would you want to give this thing to a little girl? Unless she was Wednesday Addams, I don't think so.

Baby See n’ Say: what she says

You’re my best friend in the whole world!

You know what? Your eyes are pretty!

I have beautiful eyes ‘cause I eat carrots!

Can you make your eyes go ‘round and ‘round like this?

If I look down like this, I can see my nose!

Wouldn’t it be fun if you were a doll like me?

I can see in the dark. Can you?

If I look way up high, I can see the Man in the Moon!

My eyes are magic. I can see through anything!