Monday, January 25, 2016

Men have been shot for less than that!

Uninspired, and feeling more than a little sick, I've dredged up some good vintage ads from the million-and-one sites that post them. Years ago I remembered a lot of those bizarre old comic book ads, but when I talked about them people looked at me like I was crazy. Turns out I was right (you bastards!) This one needs no comment.

This one is, somehow, related. It's an old one, but no stranger than the foot-pumped vibrators doctors used to induce "paroxysm" (orgasm) in "hysterical" women. Before that, they used their fingers. Reminds me a bit of Marvel the Mustang.

I plan to get one of these.

See, I told you the moon landing never happened!

How ARE they, anyway?

Some say this one is a hoax, but I wonder. It might make a hit way down south, where Mountain Dew is the drug of choice for the under-six set.

Handy for those suicidal impulses.

I remember these ads for Midol, used for "periodic pain" which I never quite understood. Did this relate to the periodic table of elements? I am posting two of these because the hair styles are just too gorgeous to omit. The backcombing is pure art.


Ummm. . . 

Just what is the groom going to DO with this?

TOM: Skip the wise-cracks, funny man! I like these "Stretchy-Seat" Munsingwear SKIT-Shorts . . . brief, airy, plus a little support. They stretch up and down. And how come you're so modest. . . you with a pair of nothing-muches right out of the little boys' department?

AL: I resent those words. . . speaking for Munsingwear, and myself, too. These SKIT-Trunks give me everything you've got, including that Munsingwear masterpiece, the exclusive "Stretchy-Seat". . . plus the extra leg-inches that I like.

TOM: Well, I'll ride right over you with this. It's Munsingwear's SKIT-Shirt, and a better shirt was never made. Fits like my skin, and gives with every move, with bottom shaped to avoid bulk.

AL: Mine's the same, too. It's a Munsingwear SKIT-Winger with crew neck. Wear it solo for sport, inside for business. Protects underarm of outer shirt, a go-getter for blotting up perspiration.

"It's the Stretchy-Seat!"

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A flood of memories

A double rainbow

There is some sort of commercial running now - for the lottery, maybe? - that has a guy exclaiming over a double rainbow. I kept thinking: where have I seen this before? Here. The original goes on for about 8 minutes, and the guy laughs, weeps and appears to reach orgasm. I will spare you that version. I can't find the ad anywhere, but this was posted 6 years ago and there have been lots of parodies.

Is there anything worse than haggis? I'll tell you.


Vegetarian Haggis

20 reviews

Made 23 times


"'Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!' 

Here's a tasty vegetarian version of The Robbie Burns Night sausage,
passed on to me by some friends from Cape Breton."

1 h 20 m 10 servings 163 cals


1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 small carrot, finely chopped
5 fresh mushrooms, finely chopped
1 cup vegetable broth
1/3 cup dry red lentils
2 tablespoons canned kidney beans - drained, rinsed, and mashed
3 tablespoons ground peanuts
2 tablespoons ground hazelnuts
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1 pinch ground cayenne pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons mixed spice
1 egg, beaten
1 1/3 cups steel cut oats
Add all ingredients to list

Heat the vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium heat, and saute the
onion 5 minutes, until tender. Mix in carrot and mushrooms, and
continue cooking 5 minutes. Stir in broth, lentils, kidney beans,
peanuts, hazelnuts, soy sauce, and lemon juice. Season with thyme,
rosemary, cayenne pepper, and mixed spice. Bring to a boil, reduce
heat to low, and simmer 10 minutes. Stir in oats, cover, and simmer
20 minutes. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly
grease a 5x9 inch baking pan. Stir the egg into the saucepan. Transfer
the mixture to the prepared baking pan. 
Bake 30 minutes, until firm.

Nimoy and Shatner: before they were icons

This is just what you think it is: a pre-Trek, pre-Captain Kirk William Shatner, he who appeared on various popular SF (or sci-fi or whatever they call it now) TV shows of the mid-'60s. I believe this one was The Outer Limits. He also did a couple of turns on The Twilight Zone, the monster-on-the-airplane-wing one and another one, much more low-key, in which he became addicted to a sort of Satanic coin bank that was foretelling his death. Jeffrey Hunter,the original Captain Kirk in the failed pilot, didn't seem to have this paranormal/space epic background, or if he did I don't remember it. He was in Biblical movies, I think, and didn't know how to do that infamous wrestling throw that bested Kirk's worst enemy, the Gorn. He was just too bland, and what they seemed to need on the show was the sort of histrionic performance that led to his deathless soliloquy: "No blah-blah-blah!"

Which see.

But wait, there's more! Leonard Nimoy also did at least one turn on The Outer Limits (that I know of - he may have done some Zone/One Step Beyond as well. He had a family to support.) It's eerie how similar this shot is: both of them looking at something disturbing on a screen, though Nimoy turns away with a mildly perplexed look on his face and Shatner looks as if he needs a Pepto-Bismol. Though these appearances weren't on the same episode, guess what! . . . 

They appeared together on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. in 1964. I probably watched this episode, since I was slavishly devoted to the show (and unlike all my friends, I liked Robert Vaughn rather than David McCallum). Like everyone else, I had no idea these two journeyman actors would become cultural icons, and neither did they. All in a day's work.

Stop Alien Abductions! (an excerpt)


"Since trying Michael Menkin's Helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control. Now my thoughts are my own. I have achieved meaningful work and am contributing to society.

"My life is better than ever before. Thank you Michael for the work you are doing to save all humanity."




Mississippi 3 July, 2015

A man with a thought screen helmet stopped the aliens from taking him but he was still being harassed by alien-human hybrids outside his house. The alien-human hybrids banged on the wall of the house repeatedly in the night to harass him. The house was on the edge of a forest in central Mississippi. In the middle of the night the man wore the helmet and went outside with a loaded gun. He fired the gun where he heard the hybrids moving. The hybrids left after the gun was fired and never returned.

Texas 2  November, 1999

Woman who reported abduction experiences as the type described by David Jacobs and Bud Hopkins. She said the alien brought her to orgasm by mental suggestion. It looked like the type of insect like alien reported in The Threat. She reports complete success and has been wearing a helmet 24 hours a day for a year and a half. Her husband says she even bathes with it on. This woman was extremely traumatized by her abduction experience. Her husband had her hospitalized for several months when she insisted she was abducted. After wearing the helmet for several months she said she became much more stable and focused.

Possible alien weaknesses (grays only)

Reliance on telepathy

When the alien's telepathic powers are neutralized by the "thought screen helmet" they do not attempt to abduct their victims. Without their telepathic power they cannot render their victims passive.

Vitamin C to kill implanted alien-hybrid embryos

One woman who now wears a thought screen helmet along with her husband reports that she killed four alien-hybrid fetuses in a row by taking a gram of vitamin C every hour for weeks. She used her alarm clock at night to awaken her. She reported that she could no longer feel the fetuses moving and the aliens were very angry at the deaths of the alien-hybrids they implanted in her. The aliens did remove a dead alien-hybrid fetus before implanting a live one at another time. This was before she started wearing a thought screen helmet.

Nutrient absorbing skin of grays

It was reported in The Threat that the grays sit in a vat of nutrients and absorb it through their skin. They do not eat as humans do. The grays nutrient absorbing skin may be a weakness as substances of strong odors or material sprayed on their skin may be absorbed directly into their body.


Several abductees report that aliens do not like perfume.  One abductee claims that they stopped an abduction by exposing strong cheap perfume to aliens. 

Michael Menkin was a Lieutenant (junior grade) in the U. S. Coast Guard Reserve. He is a 43 year member of the U.S. Naval Institute and a 16 year member of the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON). He is also a 29 year member of Sons of the American Revolution.

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