This is an excerpt from one of the very first web sites I ever went on, Stop Alien Abductions. It's a step-by-step tutorial on how to make a helmet to keep aliens from invading your thoughts. As far as I can see, it is completely serious. The site hasn't changed since 1991 or whenever-it-was that I began to fumble around and try to figure out what an Internet was. I had a Tandy 101 computer (which I fondly called Jessica) which used those rolls of paper with holes on the edges that you tore off along the perforations. Oh, and - I had a fax machine. Remember that thin, shiny, curly fax paper, and the way the ink faded away after a while so you couldn't read it? And just faxing in general? That noise that it made? Screeeeeech! And dial-up, remember that? And having to wait for someone to get off the phone before you went on the computer. Makes my face want to fall off. Anyway, this is just Step A, and a link to the whole gorgeous mess.