Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Chameleon




These are none of them me. I mean, I'm not in these. I didn't even take them. Is that stealing? How does anyone hang on to anything any more? I'm borrowing them from the vast lending library that is the internet. OK?




Is MY stuff getting stolen? Never mind, I think these are interesting, though I find it hard to believe that all of them are accidental (and this is, by no means, all of them). I am trying to imagine the circumstances of them, though - the exclamations that proceeded the taking of the photo. "Oh my God, look at that! Turn around, turn around?" "What?" "No, you can't see it!" "What?" (etc. etc.)




It's the exact colour matches that makes me wonder. It's not just - no, it's the whole thing. It's just so EXACT. Does someone go around looking for these, or do people dress accordingly?




No. Don't tell me she phoned the subway people and said, "Excuse me. Do you have some of that fabric left over that you put on the seat covers?"




I guess this is shot through somebody's knees, but it seems to me, somehow, anatomically impossible. The colour match isn't quite as good as some of the others, but it will pass.




This is TOO good! This guy is about to disappear.




I think this is a factory-direct thing, wherein she ordered a special sofa, dismantled it, made a dress pattern, made the dress, put it on, then posed for the picture, for no reason that anyone can determine.





This is the true Art of Camouflage, I mean it, this is better than chameleonlike. I want to lift this guy up and stuff my clothing into his head.

By the way, what is the origin of the word "camouflage"? Is it French or something? It makes no sense. What's a "flage"? And chameleon, that's weird too. Have you ever thought about "eon" words? Luncheon (and do we ever have a "bruncheon"?), nickelodeon, etc. Luncheon isn't just "lunch", either, but implies a sort of social gathering with, generally speaking, fund-raising attached to it, or long speeches by feminist groups. Brunch(eon) is different, more social and fun, more relaxed. The word "luncheon" immediately makes me tense up. I just know I'm not going to enjoy myself.




Aw c'mon, this can't be real! Nevertheless, here it is, the colours so exact it's freaky. Then again. photoshopping is so easy now, even I can do it, sort of.




Sand socks! This might catch on, if you don't want anyone to see your feet. Trouble is, it will appear as if your body is walking along six inches above the ground, and it'll freak everyone out.




When I first saw this I gasped. It seemed like such a tragedy. If she is anything like me, however, she'll have a much harder time getting up. (Can't you hear it, though: "Oh, Muriel, look at that carpet! It's just like your dress! C'mon, lie down on the floor now!" The hotel manager then decides to tour the hallway to make sure nothing is amiss.)




Sharpie and dress/sweater are in such exact accord, I don't know how you could make it happen even if you tried. Even the head is sort of the same, if you flip the cap around.




He looks sad. He looks as if someone is going to start wheeling him along, and he may be right. The airline person might start asking the bag all sorts of questions and giving it a pat-down, while unzipping and removing all sorts of objects from the man and holding them up to the light, and confiscating them if they look funny. If things take a turn for the worse, the bag might even be arrested and taken into custody,  while they call the bomb squad to come and dismantle the man.




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