Thursday, February 19, 2015

The kindness of strangers


I normally wouldn't share something so personal, but I feel very alone today. I lost my beloved Paco overnight. We are not sure what happened, but it was likely a fall. She was 3 months and one week old as of today. I am stunned. She was becoming just a lovely companion bird, friendly and amusing, very cuddly. The grandchildren adored her and now I don't know what to say to them. I don't want this to be real.
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                  I can't write about this yet, except to say that tears have fallen in this 
               
                   house in the past two days. Paco was the sweetest and the smartest, 
               
                  the most sociable (she was great with the grandkids, along with 
               
                  everyone else), and drop-dead gorgeous to boot, cobalt blue              
               
                  or silver-grey or violet depending on the light. Shewas just learning 
               
                   how to make strips of paper for nesting, which is what confirmed 
               
                   she was a girl bird. Just a couple of days ago she was nestled on my
             
                   right shoulder as I worked, butting her head against my chin. Now
               
                  she's beside Jasper in the yard, and I still can't get my head around
               
                  that.

               
                 Part of me wants another bird - God knows we have a wonderland 
               
                  of equipment and toys, not to mention a huge cage (which might 
               
                 have been behind all this, if it was indeed a fall that killed her.) 
               
                 But how could any bird hold a candle to Paco?

               
                 Now my husband, incredibly, is talking about a cat, when he was 
             
                so dead-set against it before. I think he wants to spare me the 
             
                heartbreak of any more birds that don't survive babyhood.

                I take some comfort from these messages, some from friends and 
             
                family, but others from people I don't even know. The loss of 
             
                this sweet little baby is excruciating - she should have been with 
             
               us for 10 or 15 years rather than six weeks. I still can't wrap my
             
               head around it. She was like a little jewel with wings.





Paco lived for exactly 100 days.


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