Thursday, December 11, 2014

What's lower than zero? Worst movies ever made

And here it is: Rotten Tomatoes' list of movies with a zero rating. I've seen some of these, and while many are just plain bad, some (Leprechaun 4: In Space; Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer) are of the "so bad they're good" variety. Because I am sure you will want to know more about these movies, each title links to a Wikipedia entry. Did you think I went to a lot of trouble? I did. Nothing is too good for you, my darling readers: I go to the grocery store for you; I get up in the morning for you; most especially, I go on Facebook and tell the world how fabulous I am, JUST FOR YOU. You are almost as good as real people. In many ways, you are superior, because I don't have to look at your vapid face all the time and get tired of it.

I don't know how many of these there are, because I haven't counted. I got too tired out making gifs of They Saved Hitler's Brain, something I've been wanting to do for over 40 years. Can't get through them all? Then don't.

NameYear# ReviewsRef
A Farewell to Arms195710[5]
They Saved Hitler's Brain19635[6]
Manos: The Hands of Fate196611[7]
Empire of the Ants197716[9]
The Bad News Bears Go to Japan197815[10]
The Villain19797[11]
Staying Alive198324[15]
The Lonely Lady198310[16]
Amityville 3-D198317[17]
That Was Then... This Is Now19855[18]
Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer19856[19]
American Ninja19855[20]
8 Million Ways to Die19867[21]
Deadly Friend19867[23]
King Kong Lives19869[25]
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol198718[26]
House II: The Second Story19879[27]
Jaws: The Revenge198731[28]
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie198711[29]
Return of the Living Dead Part II198815[30]
Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach19886[31]
Johnny Be Good198811[32]
Mac and Me198823[33]
The Toxic Avenger Part II19898[34]
Police Academy 6: City Under Siege19897[35]
The Horror Show19897[36]
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland19896[37]
Heart Condition19907[38]
Loose Cannons199017[39]
The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter19906[41]
Highlander 2: The Quickening199123[42]
Return to the Blue Lagoon199130[43]
All I Want for Christmas199113[44]
Once Upon a Crime19926[45]
Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil19926[46]
Look Who's Talking Now!199323[48]
Benefit of the Doubt19935[49]
Car 54, Where Are You?199414[50]
Leprechaun 2199415[51]
It's Pat: The Movie199411[52]
Wagons East!199429[53]
Jury Duty199512[54]
Leprechaun 319955[55]
A Pyromaniac's Love Story199510[56]
National Lampoon's Senior Trip19957[57]
The Big Green19955[58]
Big Bully19968[59]
Plump Fiction19965[61]
Leprechaun 4: In Space19976[62]
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas19977[63]
Lulu on the Bridge19988[64]
Slappy & the Stinkers19985[65]
Simon Sez199919[66]
Shark Attack19995[67]
The Suburbans199910[68]
3 Strikes200029[70]
Heavy Metal 200020009[71]
De Sade20016[72]
Teddy Bears' Picnic200219[73]
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever2002115[74]
Cinderella II: Dreams Come True20028[75]
Merci Docteur Rey200222[76]
K-9: P.I.20026[78]
Killing Me Softly200322[79]
The Singing Forest20039[80]
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2200445[81]
Sex Lives of the Potato Men200413[82]
Mulan II20045[83]
The Truth About Love200511[85]
Kronk's New Groove20056[86]
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer20066[87]
The Fox and the Hound 220068[89]
The All Together200710[90]
Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour200712[92]
One Missed Call200879[94]
Long Weekend20085[97]
Strange Wilderness200844[98]
A Beautiful Life200812[100]
Surfer, Dude200818[101]
Echelon Conspiracy200912[102]
Super Capers200917[103]
City Rats200910[104]
S. Darko20097[105]
Fred: The Movie201013[111]
Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back20108[113]
Father of Invention201015[115]
The Last Seven20108[116]
The Nutcracker in 3D201030[117]
An Invisible Sign201115[119]
A Heartbeat Away201113[120]
The Abduction of Zack Butterfield20117[121]
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star201135[122][123]
The Undefeated201115[124]
The Perfect Age of Rock 'n' Roll201114[127]
World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries 220117[128]
Swinging with the Finkels201119[129]
Run for Your Wife201215[130]
That's What She Said201211[131]
Confession of a Child of the Century201211[132]
Keith Lemon: The Film201212[133]
Elfie Hopkins201215[134]
Generation Um...201215[135]
A Thousand Words201254[136]
Last Ounce of Courage201215[137]
Four Lovers201210[138]
General Education201214[139]
Dark Tide201219[140]
Assassin's Bullet201214[141]
For the Love of Money20127[142]
Sir Billi