Monday, January 7, 2013
As you know, this blog is all about classic television and its impact on our daily lives as we hurtle towards self-annihilation. This clip summed up much of my belief about the desperate future of our race. Dismayed though I was by the end-times ennui inherent in this little song, I was heartened to note that Dr. Whatsisname's satin smoking jacket exactly matched his bronzed orange face. A fine example of accessorizing. Along with extreme comb-overs and vacuum-driven dick pumps, this brought to mind the 5,926 ads for testosterone goo and folding canes (not to mention ambulance-chasing scuzzbag lawyers) that I had to sit through while trying to watch Fargo tonight on AMC. AMC must be watched by litigious geriatrics with limp pricks.
BLOGGER'S NOTE. If the above YouTube video doesn't work, try the link in red. But don't expect too much. For the past couple of weeks I have been completely unable to post images on Blogger. The Browse button has been permanently disabled, forcing us to use all sorts of complicated arabesques as a substitute. Posting takes at least twice as long and is no longer fun, which seems to be the aim of the Blogger support team (a fine group of stoners if ever there was one). For a while I traded horror stories with other users on a message board, then realized it had been closed down. Instead I was greeted with this cheery message:
The immediately previous topic, which linked you to this advice, is closed. You can't help yourself, or other bloggers, by trying to answer there - or here!!!!!!!
If you need help, or if you want to provide help, please return to the topic which linked you to the previous topic. Don't waste time and effort trying to reply to closed topics / FAQs. The immediately previous topic, which linked here, is informational only - and further input there isn't helpful.
The multiple exclamation marks represent shouting, or at least petulance at being bothered by idiots who use Blogger and dare to ask for help. If they want to tell us something, fine - but they should do it respectfully, not with nasty little jabs like this. It's designed to make you slink away, ashamed of yourself for not knowing how to fix this fuckup yourself. Technology is evil.
Elephants walking under juicy-leaf trees
Walking with their children under juicy-leaf trees
Elephants elephants walking like time
Elephants bathing in the foam-floody river
Fountaining their children in the mothery river
Elephants elephants bathing like happiness
Strong and gentle elephants
Standing on the earth
Strong and gentle elephants
Time is walking under elephant trees
Happiness is bathing in the elephant river
Strong gentle peace is shining
All over the elephant earth
In the elephant field tall green ghost elephants with your cargo of summer leaves at night I heard you breathing at the window Don't you ever think I'm not crying since you're away from me Don't ever think I went free At first the goodbye had a lilt to it— maybe just a couple of months— but it was a beheading. Ghost elephant, reach down, cross me over
Basically, this is an experiment. This is an experiment to see. This is an experiment to see if. This is an experiment to see if I.
Oh fuck, I'm trying to get my photos back somehow. The good people at Google have decided to disable my Insert Image button, seemingly forever. Or should I say the browse button, so we can't browse any more. We can add photos through our phone though. Great.
Now they say we are supposed to use a feature named HTML which has caused me no end of frustration and grief by turning my nice photos into blocks of complicated code. When they come back to life as pictures, they are all screwed up. I can't even get them to come apart.
SO, I have DRAWN these pictures on my blog and they were so real-looking, by yiminy, they CAME TO LIFE, just like that!
Basically this is an experiment to see if I can live one more day without my blog, or at least the capacity to put together a post in my usual dishonest way. As it is, it seems to take hours and involves lots of moving the pieces around and copying and pasting, which I hate.
Elephants versus other living things. The huge elephant running away from the little whatever-it-is, fox or something, reminds me of the classic gif of the black bear running away from the cat. The splashy one is a real Marlin Perkins special, a crocodile or alligator (or crocigator or allodile) splooshing up out of the water making them all go ouch.
I refused to post a really mean gif of a mother elephant kicking her baby so hard, it flew farther than any soccer ball in the field. I am not sure why this happened, but I suspect it wasn't the mother elephant. The baby was far too young to be weaned. Probably some rogue male who was just in a bad mood because his Insert Images button was disabled and he couldn't browse any more.