Saturday, July 17, 2021

CREEPY EXPERIMENTAL FILM: 1880s Volta Labs Recordings


The Volta Labs recordings just SOUND like they'd be creepy (in a good way), with the implication of Frankensteinian bolts of electricity and mad scientists with their hair all frizzed up and murder in their eyes. In truth, they were a series of sound recording experiments, mostly with grown men babbling away like babies. Played back, it wouldn't have sounded much better - but this was, after all, the 1880s, and ANY sound recording was impressive, even a bunch of technicians (who sound here as if they've been into the sauce) trying to sound as bizarre as possible. I've paired these weird curiosities with some visual curiosities: gifs I made ages ago and strung together into a kind-of video. The thousands of gifs I've made over the last ten years or so have a new life now, as YouTube videos, and it's even cooler now that I can add sound to them. But not just ANY sound! The sound of men acting like little boys about 140 years ago.  From Wikipedia: "The experimental sound recording studio was housed in a dilapidated old building called the Black Maria. Edison employees W. K. Dickson and Jonathan Campbell coined the name—it reminded them of police Black Marias (police vans, also known as 'paddywagons') of the time because they were also cramped, stuffy and a similar black color. Edison himself called it 'The Doghouse', but that name never took hold."

Friday, July 16, 2021

EXTREMELY PRIMITIVE 1947 TV Broadcast (“Hey, the camera's over HERE!”)


I love early '50s TV more than anything, BUT, there is one thing I love even more: 1940s TV! These excerpts were taken from the post-war period (1947), when everyone was so incredibly awkward that they even faced the wrong way when the cameras were on them. People had that distracted, "what do I do now" look  as they waited for some kind of signal from somebody. Many of the announcers and hosts were dredged from radio, and it shows, as their body language is terrified - the two hosts here clutch their own hands and nervously entwine and fiddle with their fingers, almost white-knuckled, while providing the most stilted narration ever. The Borden's ad is a new high or low in technical accomplishment - the puppet and ad presenter have their BACKS to the camera! They're facing the wrong way! TV was called "radio with pictures" then, and viewers weren't called viewers, nor the audience, nor even "all you folks out there in TV land" - they were TELEVISITORS, a name which, thank God, never caught on. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

😳 WEIRD-ASS OLD TAPE THINGIE (obsolete technology) 😶


I'm on summer vacation, so will continue to post some of the stranger videos I've made for my YouTube channel (which claims most of my creative energy these days). This one features inexplicably weird, obviously deeply obsolete equipment, the function of which is a mystery to me. Probably made sense at the time.

Monday, July 12, 2021

😳BIZARRE old stop-motion cartoon: "BALLOON TO THE MOON!"😳


Stop-motion animation always looks a little creepy, which is part of its charm - but this particular entry is even stranger, as the cartoon itself makes very little sense. I think the original was called Hearts and Flowers, which makes even less sense.

BIZARRE scene from Alice in Wonderland, 1903


This brief snippet from the first film version of Alice in Wonderland (1903) is the famous Cheshire Cat scene, in which the filmmakers made the decision to use a REAL cat who loafs drowsily in an artificial tree, looking bored. He does appear and disappear a few times, but we don't get to see that famous disembodied smile. But this was still considered movie magic in that era, and audiences were likely enraptured by it.

Monday, July 5, 2021

Prince of Piffle: Harry, we hardly know you!




DAILY MAIL    Sunday July 4/21

How the Prince of Piffle went from bloke to woke: He used to live for beer and naked billiards... now Harry's become a master of weird wokespeak. But never fear - JAN MOIR is here to translate

Once upon a time there was a prince who lived for drinking beer and watching rugby and sometimes running around in the scuddy, occasionally while playing nude billiards with comely young maidens.

He was popular, he was kind, he joined the Army to serve his country in Afghanistan and everyone adored him.

The Harry we used to know and love was a straightforward, straight-talking, two scant A-levels sort of bloke.

Then that all changed. Harry met a girl! He got married. He moved to California and different things became important to him. Things such as climate change, mental health, social media, mindfulness, raindrops, and myriad other subjects he could lecture us on at length, with passion, ad infinitum.

Somewhere along the line, he mutated from cheeky chappie to woke bloke, from devil may care, to caring very, very much indeed. So much so that he wanted you to care, too. And as he changed, so did how he talked.

Over recent years, Prince Harry has become a master of his very own brand of wokespeak. A kind of jargon-led, plum dumb waffle, sugared with an endearing raspberry ripple of his customary mild confusion. The result is an Eton mess of words that entrance his fans but utterly bamboozle the rest of us.

What the hell is he going on about? No wonder that the words ‘Harry’ and ‘clarity’ are rarely used in the same sentence.

In the modern manner, he is now an expert at constructing elaborate, airy sentence soufflés that mask the essential nothingness of what he is saying. In his speeches and utterances, he has become obsessed with key words such as authentic, trapped, lost, truth and oh God, compassion.

The prince has become in cyberspace that most terrifying figure in contemporary life — a man with a mission and a website. On the Archewell site that promotes the global good works undertaken by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex he states: ‘I truly believe that good mental fitness is the key to powerful leadership, productive communities and a purpose-driven self.’

Is that like a smart car? Who knows, but the prince has had a lot of therapy. What was that like, Harry? ‘It was like the bubble was burst and I plucked my head out of the sand and gave it a good shake-off.’

Car, ostrich, soap, shake? I’m confused already.




In his infamous interview with Oprah, Harry said that, unlike other members of his family, he wanted to ‘just, like, just be, just be yourself. Just be genuine. Just be authentic.’

But what is that? In a bid to find out, we tiptoe through the tulips of princely verbiage that denote Harry’s great awokening. We stand side by side, the puzzled swine before whom Prince Harry casts his pearls of woke wisdom from his great pulpit of blather and bull.

Here is his incredible journey from yahoo to guru in his own inimitable words . . .

AWKWARD APOLOGY, 2005

Awkward that one of Prince Harry’s very first public statements — in 2005 — is an apology for wearing a Nazi uniform to a fancy dress party.

What he said: ‘I’m very sorry if I caused any offence or embarrassment to anyone. It was a poor choice of costume and I apologise.’

What he meant: ‘Whassup! Oh no, do I have to read this boring statement out loud? I don’t know why you are so angry Pater, because Straubs and Skippy thort it was a right laff.’

OPENING CONCERT FOR DIANA, 2007

THEN: ‘Hello Wembley! It’s great to see so many of you here tonight. Of course, when William and I first had this idea, we forgot that we’d end up standing here, desperately trying to think up something funny to say. Well, we’ll leave that to the funny people. And Ricky Gervais.’

NOW: Can you imagine a time when Prince Harry would appear in an arena in front of thousands and not lecture them about saving the planet? He even made a joke that is actually funny. Remember when he used to do that? Remember?

THEN: In 2009, Prince Harry is forced to apologise for calling a fellow cadet at Sandhurst ‘our little P*** friend’. He also accuses another of looking ‘like a raghead’ in racist slurs captured on video in 2006.

NOW: At the Princess Diana Awards last year, Harry seizes the opportunity to lecture us all that ‘institutional racism has no place in our societies, yet it is still endemic’, and that ‘unconscious bias must be acknowledged without blame, to create a better world.’ Yet he did not acknowledge or apologise for his mistakes in this area, nor mention he was sent on a diversity course as a result.

Sometimes what is not said is even more important than what is said, don’t you think?


THE ENGAGEMENT

When his engagement to Meghan Markle is announced in 2017, Prince Harry is not long out of the Army. Indeed, he speaks of his fiancee’s entree into the Royal Family as though she were taking part in a military exercise.

‘For me, it’s an added member of the family. It’s another team player . . . what we want to do is be able to carry out the right engagements, carry out our work and try and encourage others in the younger generation to be able to see the world in the correct sense.’

She’s a woman, Harry, not an all-terrain tank. Still, note that use chilling use of ‘correct sense’.’ Already he is moving into the role of jolly green tyrant convinced of the rightness of his views.

And Meghan employs the doltish Californian mindfulness her fiance will soon embrace, too. By marrying him, she is ‘investing time and energy to make it happen’, ‘nurturing our relationship’ and focusing ‘on who we are as a couple’.

THE MEGHAN INFLUENCE

Her words, his mouth . . .

2018: ‘What Meghan wants, Meghan gets.’

2018: ‘As my wife said many years ago when working on menstrual health and health education, this is not about periods but potential.’

2019: ‘As my wife often reminds me with one of her favourite quotes by Martin Luther King Jr. — “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”’

2020: ‘You know, when you go into a shop with your children and you only see white dolls, do you even think: “That’s weird, there is not a black doll there?” ’

GENERAL WOKESPEAK

March 2021: Harry gets a new job as chief impact officer of mental health firm BetterUp. ‘My goal is to lift up critical dialogues around mental health, build supportive and compassionate communities, and foster an environment for honest and vulnerable conversations. And my hope is to help people develop their inner strength, resilience, and confidence.’

May 2021: Interview with the Armchair Expert podcast about mental health: ‘Any single one of us, whoever we are, wherever we come from, we’re always trying to find some way to be able to mask the actual feeling. And be able to try and make us feel different to how we are actually feeling, perhaps from having a feeling, right?’

May 2021: At the Vax Live concert, Harry even attempts to ‘reunite the world,’ after coronavirus. ‘None of us should be comfortable thinking that we could be fine when so many others are suffering. In reality, and especially with this pandemic, when any suffer, we all suffer. We must look beyond ourselves with empathy and compassion for those we know, and those we don’t.’


HARRY THE DRIPPING TAP

‘I believe even more that climate change and mental health are two of the most pressing issues that we’re facing and in many ways, they are linked,’ he declares on The Me You Can’t See documentary aired on Apple TV in May.

‘The connecting line is about our collective wellbeing and when our collective wellbeing erodes that affects our ability to be caretakers of ourselves, of our communities and of our planet ultimately . . . we have to create a more supportive culture for each other where challenges don’t have to live in the dark . . . and where physical and mental health can be treated equally because they are one.’

Sorry to barge in, but did anyone leave the taps running?

‘A lot of people are doing the best they can to try and fix these issues but that whole sort of analogy of walking into the bathroom with a mop when the bath is over-flooding rather than just turning the tap off — are we supposed to accept that these problems are just going to grow and grow and we have to adapt and build resilience . . .’

NOT A RAY OF SUNSHINE

‘Every forest, every river, every ocean, every coastline, every insect, every wild animal. Every blade of grass, every ray of sun and every rain drop is crucial to our survival,’,’ says Harry making a speech at WE Day UK youth event in 2019.

‘It is all connected, we are all inter-connected. You in this room understand that and are already making this a safer, healthier and more resilient home for all of us and for generations to come. And for that I applaud you.’

Prince Harry also urges the kidz not to be swayed by social media or the mainstream media ‘distorting the truth.’ The mainstream media have something to say about that.

Is Prince Harry a Puppet? roars ITV’s Good Morning Britain. Meanwhile, queen of daytime TV Lorraine Kelly is understandably muddled. ‘I don’t know what he was talking about, it was gobbledygook,’ she says.

RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD

Uh oh. In December 2020, Prince Harry makes a speech to help launch an environmental documentary streaming platform called WaterBear. He wastes no time in calling for ‘affirmative action’ on climate change.

‘Don’t be a hypocrite like me and fly in private jets,’ is exactly what he does not say.

Instead, Harry waffles on about something called ‘sustainable nature-based economic stimulus packages that embrace a One Health approach . . .’. He also touches on ‘training a young generation of talented storytellers to create more inspiration and excitement around those values’.

Who are these budding bards generating thrills with their quills? Answer came there none. Instead it was on to the rain.


‘Every single raindrop that falls from the sky relieves the parched ground. What if every single one of us was a raindrop? And if every single one of us cared, which we do, because we have to care because at the end of the day nature is our life source.’

I’m still confused. Clarity, Harry! He gives it his best shot: ‘For me it’s about putting the dos behind the says, and that is something that WaterBear is going to be doing: capitalising on a community of doers. There’s a lot of people that say, but this is about action.’

HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN I ANNOY TODAY?

October 2020: In an interview to mark Black History Month: ‘The world that we know has been created by white people for white people. I’ve had an awakening as such of my own, because I wasn’t aware of so many of the issues and so many of the problems within the UK, but also globally as well. I thought I did but I didn’t.’

May 2021: Harry takes part in an Armchair Expert podcast with Dax Shepard: ‘I’ve got so much I want to say about the First Amendment as I sort of understand it, but it is bonkers. I don’t want to start going down the First Amendment route because that’s a huge subject and one which I don’t understand because I’ve only been here a short time. But, you can find a loophole in anything. You can capitalise or exploit what’s not said rather than uphold what is said.’

THE OPRAH INTERVIEW

In the infamous interview aired in March, Harry says: ‘I’ve spent many years doing the work and doing my own learning. But my upbringing in the system, of which I was brought up in and what I’ve been exposed to, it wasn’t — I wasn’t aware of it, to start with. But, my God, it doesn’t take very long to suddenly become aware of it.’

Author and Daily Mail writer Craig Brown has a theory that Harry confuses the word ‘compassion’, with ‘contempt’. For example, after telling Oprah his father stopped taking his calls and he and his elder brother were ‘on different paths’, and also having hinted that one or other of them might be racist, he says: ‘My father and my brother, they are trapped. They don’t get to leave. And I have huge compassion for that.’
Harking back to harry the LAD

2008: During his service with the British Army in Afghanistan: ‘No one really knows where I am and I prefer to keep it that way until I get back in one piece and can tell them where I was. At the moment, they think I’m tucked away, wrapped up in cotton wool.’

2010: Chatting with Prince William about England’s role in the World Cup: ‘A win would be fantastic, but I don’t think we should put a number on it. 1-0? A win’s a win. I’m more of a rugby fan but this seems to be a World Cup full of surprises. Let’s see what happens.’

2011: Before William and Kate’s wedding: ‘I’ve got to know Kate pretty well, but now that she’s becoming part of the family, I’m really looking forward to getting her under my wing — or she’ll be taking me under her wing, probably. She’s a fantastic girl. She really is.’

2013: During his military service in Afghanistan: ‘I’m one of the guys. I don’t get treated any differently.’

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

2015: At a youth centre in Cape Town, South Africa: ‘I would like to have come to a place like this. When I was at school, I wanted to be the bad boy.’

2019: At a youth empowerment launch in London: ‘Be kind to each other. Be kind to yourselves. Have less screen time and more face-to-face time. Exceed expectations . . . Keep empathy alive. Change your thoughts and change the world . . . your role is to shine the light.’



A Cat Named Kalamazoo


It was Della and the Dealer and a dog named Jake
And a cat named Kalamazoo.
Left the city in a pick up truck,
Gonna make some dreams come true.

Yea, they rolled out west where the wild sun sets
And the coyote bays at the moon.
Della and the Dealer and a dog named Jake
and a cat named Kalamazoo

If that cat could talk what tales he'd tell
About Della and the Dealer and the dog
as well
But the cat was cool, and he never said a mumblin word.

Down Tucson way there's a small cafe
Where they play a little cowboy tune.
And the guitar picker was a friend of mine
By the name of Randy Boone.

Yea, Randy played her a sweet love song
And Della got a fire in her eye
The Dealer had a knife and the dog had a gun
and the cat had a shot of Rye.

If that cat could talk what tales he'd tell
About Della and the Dealer and the dog
as well
But the cat was cool, and he never said a mumblin word.


Yea, the dealer was a killer,
He was evil and mean
And he was jealous of the fire in her eyes.
He snorted his coke through a century note
And swore that Boone would die.

The stage was set when the lights went out.
There was death in Tucson town.
Two shadows ran for the bar back door
And one stayed on the ground

If that cat could talk what tales he'd tell
About Della and the Dealer and the dog
as well
But the cat was cool, and he never said a mumblin word.

Two shadows ran from the bar that night
And dog and cat ran too.
And the tires got hot on the pick up truck
As down the road they flew.

It was Della and her lover and a dog named Jake
And a cat named Kalamazoo.
Left Tucson in a pick-up truck
Gonna make some dreams come true.

If that cat could talk what tales he'd tell
About Della and the Dealer and the dog
as well
But the cat was cool, and he never said a mumblin word.

Sunday, July 4, 2021

Norma Tanega "Walkin' My Cat Named Dog"


I'm walkin' all around the town 
Singin' all the people down 
Talkin' around, talkin' around. 
Me and my cat named Dog 
Are walkin' high against the fog 
Singin' the sun 
Singin' the sun 
Happy, sad and crazy wonder 
Chokin' up my mind with perpetual dreamin'... 
I'm driftin' up and down the street 
Searchin' for the sound of people 
Swingin' their feet, swingin' their feet 
Dog is a good old cat 
People what you think of that? 
That's where I'm at, that's where I'm at. 
Happy, sad and crazy wonder 
Chokin' up my mind with perpetual dreamin'... 
Dog is a good old cat 
People what you think of that? 
That's where I'm at, that's where I'm at, that's where I'm at.

Saturday, July 3, 2021

🌟Popeye's Magical JEEP!🌟


His full name is Eugene the Jeep, but he usually goes just by Jeep.  In fact, it is said that the military vehicle was actually named after this character. He's adorable: magical, mystical, yet sweet enough not to be creepy. Popeye is a damn sight creepier, with his massive forearms and chin, popped-out eye, no teeth, pipe clamped in his mouth (not to mention the putrid slimy spinach pouring out of those exploding cans) and general scuzziness. 

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Wednesday, June 30, 2021

HAROLD LLOYD: "Gay for the stay"?


One of my favorite, if more baffling, scenes from A Sailor Made Man. Why these guys are dancing with each other like this is a bit of a mystery. Too long at sea, perhaps, or just bored. As usual, Harold ends up in trouble when he ends up with the wrong partner, who tries to throttle him before Harold jabs him in the ass. Great homoerotic fun!

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

CULT DYNAMICS: does this remind you of anyone?



Found this list of traits of cult leaders/cult dynamics on the net from a psychology journal. It ticks so many boxes you might as well call it How Meghan Markle Operates! I believe she is a cult of two, but the so-called Sussex Squad is also part of the cult:

The group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment. 

The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.
 
The group is preoccupied with making money. 
Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

Mind-numbing techniques (such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, denunciation sessions, debilitating work routines) are used to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s). 

The leadership dictates sometimes in great detail how members should think, act, and feel (for example: members must get permission from leaders to date, change jobs, get married; leaders may prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, how to discipline children, and so forth). 

The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and members (for example: the leader is considered the Messiah or an avatar; the group and/or the leader has a special mission to save humanity). 

The group has a polarized us- versus-them mentality, which causes conflict with the wider society. 

The group's leader is not accountable to any authorities (as are, for example, military commanders and ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream denominations). 

The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify means that members would have considered unethical before joining the group (for example: collecting money for bogus charities).
 
The leadership induces guilt feelings in members in order to control them.
 
Members' subservience to the group causes them to cut ties with family and friends, and to give up personal goals and activities that were of interest before joining the group.
 
Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group. 

Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

Friday, June 25, 2021

TOXIC FUN! The Dutch Boy's Lead Party

 


FINALLY, I found a "cleaner" version of an old classic. This gif runs fairly slowly (a 5-second lag) so you can read those captions - which are really the best part. In addition to the smarmy rhymes is horrifying scientific information about lead and all its marvelous properties (in small letters at the top). This seems to give this harmless-looking little paint book some sort of educational value, or at least an explanation to the parents (teachers?) that renders the product not only harmless, but a tremendous boon. EVERYTHING seems to have lead in it! We now know that if an infant ingests ONE paint chip containing lead, he or she may become violently ill or even die. Cribs were painted with lead-based paints, and we all know how babies teethe on any surface they can find. This is a real artifact and an example (along with asbestos - I'd LOVE to see an Fun With Asbestos paint book!) of how a horribly dangerous substance can be effectively "pitched".

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

How To Eat (it's harder than you think)

 


In other words, you must eat as if you aren't enjoying it. This rule also applies to sex.

😳CREEPY: old ventriloquist's dummy talks by itself!🥺


One of the creepiest films I have ever watched is Erich von Stroheim's The Great Gabbo. This is the old story of a ventriloquist's dummy taking on a life of its own - but it wasn't an old story back in 1930. This may have been the original "devil doll" movie. Unfortunately, as an early talkie, it was padded out with too many mediocre song-and-dance numbers which today look and sound very lame. Back then, when sound was new, audiences wanted (or at least, movie producers THOUGHT they wanted) anything at all that made a noise, and bad musicals ran rife for the first several years. Stroheim must have winced at this abomination, but it was the only way to get his masterpiece made. This movie borrows elements from the stark German expressionist cinema where Stroheim began making his disturbing feature films. Later he was typecast as "the man you love to hate" and even appeared as the sinister butler in Gloria Swanson's Sunset Boulevard. In The Great Gabbo, he is not just creepy but violent, punching his dummy so hard he knocks its eyes out. These are but brief scenes in a hair-raisingly macabre movie that rises above all the razz-ma-tazz padding and remains an early sound classic.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

1960s Romance Comics: "Oh, Dick, I. . .I. . . (choke!) I love you so!"


It amazes me how many of the guys in these sappy romance comics are named DICK. I don't suppose the writers saw anything significant in it. But these comic books were - in a way - models for what "love" was supposed to be like - I assume in the pre-teen category of  9 - 12 years old. The message was that romance would be mostly heartbreak, heartache and "CHOKE", until that final triumphant kiss when Love Conquers All. When you get down to it, it's nothing like this. All this "romance" eventually leads to sex - and sex is nothing like this endless drama/teasing. They'll find out, for sure. And nothing will have prepared them.

Monday, June 21, 2021

MY FRIEND FLICKA: opening and closing theme


The harpstroke which begins this lush sentimental theme used to make me prick up my ears when I was a child. Though it's hard for me to believe, the show ran for only one season in 1957, and was in syndication when I saw it in the early '60s. It would come on almost randomly on Saturday, probably as a filler, so I never knew when the magic would happen. I'd usually be doing something else, such as making mice out of plasticine or cutting up cardboard with a steak knife to make a house for my trolls. Then I'd hear that "bling!" on the harpstrings and look up in delight. The show is a little sentimental, but beautifully shot and acted, particularly by the Arabian mare Flicka and the crack rider Johnny Westbrook. 

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

HAUNTING: By the Waters of Babylon (we lay down and wept)


I found this recording a long time ago, ten years maybe. I sought it after hearing the song on Mad Men, the scene where Don Draper is sitting in a cafe, drinking and thinking while images flash through his head - images of loss and sorrow. I found this version on a channel I can't find now - I think it has been reuploaded so many times that no one knows exactly who created it. But it is extremely beautiful, and haunting. She overdubs all the parts of the round in her own voice. 

Monday, June 14, 2021

😣Meghan's fake "STANDING OVATION": get me the sick bag!🤢


Meghan and Harry just assume this standing ovation at Royal Albert Hall is for THEM (when everyone was applauding BEFORE they even barged in, late). Watch the man to the right of Harry - his facial expressions are hilarious! Everyone around them looks annoyed and offended, while Meghan beams, nods, even CURTSIES as she accepts the "adulation" of the crowds. The press widely reported they DID receive a standing ovation, I guess just for breathing and standing up, though clearly they crashed the party and made the most rude and narcissistic assumption possible. Poor Harry looks profoundly uncomfortable through it all.

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Tuesday, June 8, 2021

(Just) ONE more post about Meghan and Harry. . .




MEGHAN MARKLE and Prince Harry have been criticised for their "tone-deaf" name choice for their daughter by a US expert who said Queen Elizabeth II deserved better.

By Steven Brown

PUBLISHED: 08:45, Tue, Jun 8, 2021 | UPDATED: 11:53, Tue, Jun 8, 2021
Prince Harry 'told Queen he'd name child after her' says expert Kelly Hartog
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's new baby, named Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, was born at 11.40am on Friday, June 4, at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital in California, weighing 7lb 11oz. She was named after the Queen's family nickname and also Harry's mother Princess Diana, who died in a car crash in 1997.

The name Lilibet harks back to the Queen's childhood when she could not pronounce her own name.

The only person who used the name in recent times was Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, who passed away in April.

At his funeral, the Queen reportedly left a handwritten note on his coffin and signed it "Lilibet".

Kelly Hartog, a US journalist, has claimed Meghan and Harry are attempting a reconciliation with the Firm without "doing any reconciliation work".



She wrote in her latest column on NBC News: "From where I sit, it looks like Harry and Meghan are using a Band-Aid to try to fix a gunshot wound, with Harry saying, 'Hey Grandma, I know you're p****d off with me right now, so I thought I'd take your very private nickname and put it in the public domain by giving it to our newborn daughter.'

"At best, the decision seems tone-deaf.

"At worst, it's a cynical attempt at a reconciliation without actually doing any reconciliation work.

"Frankly, the queen deserves better.

"Her late husband — the only one who really was entitled to call her by her nickname — was barely in his grave when her grandson chose to shout across the pond, 'Surprise!'"

She said the Duke and Duchess of Sussex should have attempted to heal the family rift in a "private forum".


Ms Hartog continued: "Harry and Meghan have been in the US for only 15 months, but it appears that in their eagerness to embrace the laid-back American attitude — and their desire or need for public visibility — they have chosen to throw royal rules and traditions out the window yet again.

"If Harry and Meghan really wanted to make inroads in healing this family rift, they could have done so in a private forum."

Ms Hartog is not the only expert who has lashed out at Harry and Meghan's name choice.

Royal biographer Angela Levin claimed the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were "rude" to the Queen and she will be "unhappy" that their daughter was named Lilibet.

Speaking to ITV's Good Morning Britain, Ms Levin said: "I think she's desperately unhappy because they were desperately rude about her.

"I don't think it's a good idea. I think it's quite rude to her Majesty the Queen.


"It was a very private nickname from her husband who hasn't been dead for very long.

"Prince Charles would never dream of referring to his mother as Lilibet.

"He's never used it - it was a special name, especially for the Duke of Edinburgh."

The Sussexes' press secretary confirmed the baby had been named Lilibet "Lili" Diana Mountbatten-Windsor.

She added: "Both mother and child are healthy and well, and settling in at home.

"Lili is named after her great-grandmother, Her Majesty the Queen, whose family nickname is Lilibet.

"Her middle name, Diana, was chosen to honour her beloved late grandmother, the Princess of Wales."

The new baby is the Queen's 11th great-grandchild, and the first to be born since Philip's death.

Monday, June 7, 2021

"Lilliput?" "Lily-white?" No, it's "LILIBET"

 


Touching tribute or royally presumptuous after all their barbs? SARAH VINE on why Lilibet is the name that's split Britain

By Sarah Vine For The Daily Mail

Isn’t this the Lilibet that Harry made out to be a lousy mother?

By Sarah Vine 

What’s in a name? Well, if you are eighth in line to the British throne, a great deal indeed. I always felt the Duke and Duchess of Sussex would choose Diana for their first daughter – after all, so much of Prince Harry’s life has been defined by the memory of his mother.

But what I – and I suspect many others – had not anticipated was the choice of the Queen’s childhood nickname, Lilibet.

On the surface of it, I can see the attraction. It is such a very pretty name, despite the fact it’s not a real one.

It conjures up images of a young Princess Elizabeth, of grainy black and white pictures of granny as a bonneted toddler, and of intimate family memories. It has fond connotations for all the royals, even more so perhaps since the Duke of Edinburgh passed away earlier this year – this was a nickname he used for the Queen.

But it is perhaps because Lilibet is such a very rare and special name that no other royal children have thought to use it.

Even if they had wanted to, they might well have felt – out of respect for Her Majesty – that it was overstepping an invisible line, presuming rather too much.

Not the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, though. As ever, they are not preoccupied with protocol and propriety, and the gesture has naturally won them plenty of praise from fans.

It is seen as a rapprochement, a ‘reaching out’, an ‘olive branch’ extended across the Atlantic to the folks back home – an emotional act of typical generosity by two people who, as ever, have been harshly judged by a cynical media.

So it is with some trepidation that I venture any criticism – after all, in certain quarters anything other than fawning praise for this pair is tantamount to blasphemy.

But while Harry and Meghan may have had the absolute best intentions in naming their new arrival Lilibet, in the light of their recent uncaring attacks on the Queen part of me worries that it feels like a rather shameless, attention-grabbing attempt to boost their royal brand – a brand on which their future earnings and bankability very much depend.


Don’t get me wrong: I’m delighted at the new arrival. But one can be simultaneously happy for them and Archie, who now has a little sister, and utterly flabbergasted by the absolute cheek of it. Lilibet Diana? Seriously? Quite apart from the strange juxtaposition of the two names – which in itself is an entire psychodrama – isn’t this Lilibet the same person who according to Prince Harry was a lousy mother to Prince Charles, and who passed on her lousy parenting skills to him so he in turn was a lousy father to Harry?

Isn’t this the same Lilibet who, so Harry and Meghan suggested in that Oprah Winfrey interview, presided over a bigoted, dysfunctional family of emotional pygmies?

The same Lilibet who allowed Diana to be frozen out, who failed to ensure Meghan was given the support she needed when she was struggling to cope with her royal role?

Harry and Meghan’s supporters have rushed to point out that the couple reportedly asked the Queen for permission to use Lilibet, and she approved. But she couldn’t exactly have said no, could she? Not without the fear of another TV interview in which she would no doubt be accused of snubbing them.


Given everything that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have said and implied about the Queen over the past few months, you might have thought she was the last person they would want to name their precious baby daughter after.

Indeed if she was to be named after a relative, then surely Meghan’s own mother Doria, who as far as I can tell has been a constant and selfless source of strength to her daughter, might have been more appropriate.

Oprah, too, would have been a possibility given how the queen of interviews has been playing such a dramatic role in the couple’s lives.

But the actual Queen, this supposed villainess, this heart- less matriarch? Doesn’t it seem rather odd, not to mention more than a little opportunistic? Because, let’s be honest, all Harry and Meghan’s criticism of the royals hasn’t actually gone as well as they thought it would.

In fact, it’s fair to say there’s been a bit of a backlash.


Of course, they could have just openly and honestly apologised; but why do that when you can turn your misjudgements to strategic advantage?

Because Lilibet Diana, as a name, certainly has its benefits.

By calling their daughter after the Queen herself, and using the most intimate and private name by which she is known, they have ensured that however frosty and distant relations with the royals back home become, in the eyes of the public the association with the British Royal Family will never be forgotten.

Whatever the future now holds, the Queen will be forever a part of their lives. And, crucially, of Brand Sussex.


Sunday, June 6, 2021

⭐SUPER-BLOOPER: Bogart and Bette Davis ⭐



There is just something so blissfully beautiful about this - my two all-time-favorite Old Hollywood genius actors, together at last, in a truly off-the-cuff moment. Betty comes charging in at the wrong time, quickly realizes her mistake and darts off-camera again. Then she and Bogie come out to ask the director what they're supposed to be doing. It only lasts a minute, and I've slowed it down to make it last longer. . . but oh, is Bogie gorgeous in this, as is Bette the natural firebrand beauty, just so casually blazing. Charisma streams off these two, yet strangely enough, they do not cancel each other out. I don't think they ever starred as a romantic couple - I think this was Dark Victory, in which Bogart only played a minor role. But who cares? Having them in the same UNIVERSE together is magical, powerful and special. No one lives to equal them, but I am grateful that they "were" - and, even better than that, we have a record.


Saturday, June 5, 2021

Oh me, oh my: LOVE Aunt Jenny's Pie! (and it's made with SPRY!)

 










I just don't know what to say about all of this. I was compelled to post these incredible Norman Rockwell-esque images after seeing them on a Facebook page which features a new vintage recipe book every week. This one was a humdinger, folks! But after about the twentieth image, I get a little sick of looking at "Aunt Jenny" and her eternal bushy-tailed grin and her "bakin' and broilin'" - as if she can't get her brain around an "ing" ending to save her bustling, ever-useful life. This is a character which has been invented, built from the ground up by some Madison Avenue team not unlike the Mad Men crew, with guys in suits sitting around a boardroom table sipping bourbon, smoking Luckies and loudly arguing over who the characters should be in this little domestic drama. "Maybe the husband should be, oh, let's see - Ralph?" "No! Calvin, like Calvin Coolidge." The distant echo of Calvinism and all its prudery is likely not a coincidence. This is Middle America, folks, in the middle of the 20th century. These are good, decent, God-fearin' people, and let's not forget it.


Calvin is such a wag, asking his wife "c'n I lick the spoon?" when she makes her Spry frosting for her Spry cake, praising her chicken (fried in Spry) and her strawberry shortcake (made with Spry) with a rapturous, slightly stoned expression glued on his face, and generally acting just like those menfolk always act, all thumbs in the kitchen, just helpless and needing to be constantly tended to and fed. 

And let's not forget Aunt Jenny's role as matriarch of the community (I left out an INTOLERABLE image of her sewing circle chattering away about frying things in SPRY), "starting brides off right", which means breaking them in to a life of servitude over a hot stove for the next forty years. No wonder young women were so keen to get married.

Then there's Grandpa Briggs up at the Old Soldiers Home ("Old soldiers never die", remember? They just go to live up at the Home) who'll eat any kind of pie so long's it's "aye-pull" (which is the way you KNOW this fictional Aunt Anybody character would pronounce it). And as Aunt Jenny keeps  hammering on about, foods cooked the SPRY way are DIGESTIBLE - in fact, that seems to be one of its main virtues, so that even children and old people can somehow ingest it without becoming violently ill. 


But the really weird thing is this. If you take a good look at the folksy, g-dropping, ever-grinning Jenny, she doesn't really look grandmotherly at all. She's an actress who is probably in her thirties and made up to look "old", which translates to a grey wig, a print housedress and glasses (which in those days automatically spelled "biddy"). This is character-invention in the nature of Irene Ryan as "Granny" on the Beverley Hillbillies, who was maybe 45 when she played the role, and even the Italian Mama on Golden Girls - whatever her name was, I don't want to look it up - who was actually a couple of years younger than that dinosaur Bea Arthur and all the rest of them. (The same Bea Arthur who got pregnant and had an abortion on Maude when she was pushing SIXTY.) And oh yes, the same deal as on Mama's Family, in which Vicki Lawrence played Mama even though she was 15 years younger than Carol Burnett. 

So we have this little well-greased domestic universe (and don't ask how Jenny and Calvin survived their wedding night with so little sexual experience - perhaps that tin of Spry next to their bed tells the whole story). We have the daughter Sylvia, who never really makes an appearance here (I left some of these out, though even at that, they seem to go on and on and ON until you want to smash Calvin in the face with one of those famous "paaahhhhs"), and even two "bachelors" (gay men had to call themselves that in the "good old days"), Ebenezer Todd and Hank Parsons, who frequently hang out together "down by the depot" but never seem to get a decent meal there. Aunt Jenny seems to have adopted these two social strays as a sort of missionary work.

 

And even though this whole thing smacks of a rural setting, it's odd how formally-dressed everyone is, particularly the men. They're wearing white shirts, ties, even suits when they sit at the table, so it's unclear to me what the exact social stratum is in this scenario. These aren't farmers, they aren't blue collar working stiffs, in fact, I have no idea WHAT they do except sit in the kitchen and eat with a fatuous look of joy on their faces.

This whole thing was cooked up, baked up, dreamed up, by Madison Avenue to further the cozy domestic dreams of housewives in the '40s and '50s, to present an ideal setting with a good plain country cook who speaks no nonsense and always welcomes you into her comforting circle. But there was no Aunt Jenny, no Calvin, not even a Grandpa Briggs up at the home or those two poor old sods down by the depot. She didn't actually exist except as a 30-year-old supply model who did glamourless magazine spreads for a living and sold buckets of grease with a promise of domestic Paradise, in which no one fights, no one fucks (well, not much), and everything is soaked in bubbling rivers of SPRY. 


Tuesday, June 1, 2021

A Serious George Gershwin Problem, Volume Two

 










Link to Original Slideshow by Astairical



POST-IT NOTES: I found this rhapsodic (in blue) tribute a few years ago, God knows where, and took a liking to it immediately. I had been trying to chop my way through a 900-page tome on Gershwin's life (90% of it was a minute and detailed dissection of the show tunes he wrote before he became really famous; only one chapter 50 pages long was devoted to "Gershwin the Man".) When I found this, I thought - hey, why not? This fan tribute really gives us the essence of who and what Gershwin was. It's also plain this girl was CRAZY ABOUT THE MAN - mad about the boy - and expressed it in contemporary language that I actually find quite charming. I blew it up here to make the text more readable. I don't know what happened to Astairical after this - haven't been able to find anything on her (at least I THINK it's a her), but this stands as one of the most unusual Gershwin tributes - hell, one of the best tributes ANYWHERE about ANYONE or ANYTHING, period!



As with Dylan, I'm drawn back to Gershwin cyclically, pulled back into his orbit again and again. There were similarities: Gershwin broke all the rules, all the while beguiling his public with a magnetism that is hard to describe. But unlike Dylan, who is still doing amazingly well at age 80, he died horribly of an undiagnosed and agonizing brain tumor at only 38. Because his death on the operating table was so shocking and unexpected, it's possible he did not know he was dead, which can cause a great deal of spiritual disorientation. It's said that his ghost roams freely, and even his brother Ira, who did NOT believe in such things, saw him waving at him from his study shortly after he passed. Ira did not tell anyone about this until he was on his deathbed, afraid people would think he was crazy. But others saw him too: sitting mischievously at a player piano in a town square, hurrying along the street with his head down, his face just visible in a crowd - no, wait a minute, it COULDN'T be.

I myself felt a visitation. I can't prove or disprove this, but it was a gift, so I don't throw it away. Paul Biscop, a former friend and spiritualist medium, had a way of disparaging MY experiences (though his were always bona fide - he had two Masters degrees and a PhD, so anything he said about spiritualism automatically trumped mine, and he often wrote off the experiences I shared with him as "fantasies").


I won't write a lot about how he died, but I had my mojo working on him not long before that: I made a formal request, or spell, or whatever you want to call it, not that he'd die or anything, or even suffer, but that he'd SEE, for once and for all, just how destructive his dismissive behaviour could be, how hurtful to others his pose as a "nice" person who had a very dark heart.  I will admit this involved beads, candles, incense, chanting, and even a little Haitian voodoo. Some of it I had learned in a course I took from Paul called The Anthropology of Religion. 


Within a few months I received a message from his longtime partner, also named Paul, that he had passed. Later I was to find out that he left Paul (a simple soul who seemed far less mature than his actual age) in HUGE debt, a massive amount of money that he could not possibly repay. He was rendered virtually homeless. Some people from the spiritualist church which Paul had founded (then stomped away from, bitterly, when they refused to do everything HIS way) tried hard to raise some money so Paul could at least figure out his next move. But he had a mortgage to pay, along with other debts he had  known nothing about. His memorial was NOT held in the spiritualist church but in the local Masonic hall, and to scrounge some money, Paul's tomes on spiritualism were on sale at a table in the back. 

Paul had dissed my Gershwin connection, the powerful sense I'd somehow - I can't explain it - "felt" him steal into the room, wordlessly, longing to connect with someone who would believe in him and deeply listen. I wrote about this in a blog post I've re-posted several times called Gershwin's Ghost. 


Gershwin won this struggle, and Paul ended up showing his true colours. DID some of that negative energy bounce back at him, after all? All I can say is that a similar situation happened with Lloyd Dykk, with whom I had some really poisonous experiences, and he too dropped in his tracks at age 60, felled by a stroke, just like Paul.

So what's the message here? Nothing, except that dear George still inspires strong feelings, and he DOES hang around because of the unfairness and confusion of his early death, his head cracked open by ignorant surgeons only to find a grapefruit-sized tumor that had been there for years, causing him agonizing pain and ruining his co-ordination so he couldn't even play the piano any more. Right up until his death, his deterioration had been considered a manifestation of "neurosis". He deserved so much more than that. Incredibly, he wrote the exquisite song But Not for Me very shortly before he died - kind of ironic, considering the circumstances:

"They're writing songs of love, but not for me

A lucky star's above, but not for me

With love to lead the way, I've found more clouds of grey

Than any Russian play could guarantee. . ."



Goodbye, George. We haven't forgotten you. I don't want you to wander the world as some sort of musical orphan. Look what happened to your detractor, the man who scoffed at my vision, my tender connection with you. Not that I want to strike anyone dead, but I am NOT particularly sorry that Paul Biscop no longer walks this earth. How you treat people, especially the ones you are supposed to love the most, says everything about you. George loved and was loved mainly for his songs, and for that he was deeply melancholy. But it's that sadness behind the jazziness that still touches us, grabs us, and keeps him alive in our ears and souls and nervous systems, forever.