Let's Bring back the MUNSINGWEAR MEN!

 

Ah, the drama, the camaraderie, the warm human interaction, the - oh what the hell. It's strange how something that seems so blatantly gay now wasn't really seen as gay then. Or at least, I don't think so. But I've never seen a bunch of straight men in a locker room joshing each other about their underwear. Some of these guys are, I confess, pretty cute and easy on the eyes. Hey, I like men too, like the smell of them, their voices, their. . . excuse me. It is an appreciation that most definitely does NOT wane with the years. But the union suit idea doesn't make it for me. And the "stretchy seat" thing kind of kills whatever attraction might ensue. Not to mention those "slumberalls" that I don't think you'd even see at a co-ed pajama party.

NOTE: My blog program is vastly improved now, so that I can blow this up immensely and you might even be able to read most of the text (which is really the best part). Which is why this gif is running sooooooooo slowly! The original ads were long and skinny (like some of these guys) and fit down the sides of the text in magazines, which makes for an awkward size - and having to scroll down to get all the text, if you're that dedicated. If not, here is a sort of edited version with only the best parts:

By popular demand: THE MUNSINGWEAR MEN!

Ye-e-e-e-e-s, it's those crazy old guys, the Lotharios of the locker room, the Munsingwear Men! Here we provide you with more than you ever wanted of those unforgettable Munsingwear Moments, as these seemingly straight guys act about as gay as men ever did in history. I'd transcribe the dialogue on these, but I'm afraid you're on your own. Just read it real fast. The first gif is the trimmed version of the ads, the second one complete and unadulterated. (Fit That Lasts!) Sorry, it's the best I can do.

The continuing saga of the Munsingwear Men

HOME FRONT: The only thing well-knit about you, muscle man, is your underwear! The way that outfit clings to even your hideous frame is a tribute to the maker, Munsingwear?

MUSCLES: Sure it's Munsingwer. Nothing lesls is fit to grace the manly beauty of this grizzled vet. It's knit for fit and easy give and. . . say! Where'd you get that playboy suit you're wearin'?

HOME FRONT: Who's wearing a playboy suit? Why, you beautiful hunk of look, can I help it if I look fetching in these stylish Munsingwear "Slumberalls"? Can't be beat for all-knit, all-night comfort and head-to-toe warmth.

MUSCLES: Okay, my over-age destroyer. Now let's get down to fundamentals. . . like Munsingwear's "STRETCHY-SEAT". Pipe the way this boon to mankind brings up the rear. No creep, no crawl, no bind. Is it any wonder they say. . . wear Munsingwear. . . and have that well-knit look?

The seat alone is worth the price of admission. MUNSINGWEAR STRETCHY-SEAT underwear for men

"IT STRETCHES"

Go, men. . . go Munsingwear!

These are some choice cuts from the Munsingwear cartoon-style ads I love so well. I find these rife with paradox: at a time (1940s) when homophobia could not have been more rampant, it was common, even perfectly acceptable to depict half-naked men in locker rooms talking about their underwear. They would even argue about the relative merits of their ginch (gonch, gitch, gatch), often criticizing their buddy for having a baggy ass or sagging crotch. My favorite shows two men in bed:  "Leave me alone, you big overstuffed Easter Bunny!" "Wise guy, huh? Tomorrow a.m., when you're sweating icicles, think of me in these draft-proof Slumberalls! They're so comfortable, you don't know you've got 'em on!" A not-so-subtle image, when you think about it, and which (when added to the pillow fight with the guy bending over) makes for an uncomfortable, yet compelling sociological whatayacallit.

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The continuing saga of the Mungsingwear Men!

You truly can't make this stuff up. At a time when homosexuality was persecuted and kept hidden, a major underwear company ran ads like this. There are too many to count, and I keep finding new ones, so I can't put them all in one post (but there are lots more on this one):

http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2014/02/the-stretchy-seat-paradox.html

All are heavily suggestive, from the dominant/submissive body postures to the titillating captions. In this one, the men are actually touching each other.

How did this ever get through? Was it a case of "oh, surely not"? Was it the same syndrome that allowed comedy teams like Martin and Lewis/Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby to "pass", with no one even thinking there might be more going on?

Just try that now.

Does that mean things are MORE repressive now? In a way, yes. If you ran this ad today, it would provoke howls of laughter. The homosexual connection would be obvious.

Every time I see one of these, my jaw drops. There should be a Munsingwear Hall of Fame. Behind all that joshing around is a passion for men's briefs so sizzling it fairly jumps off the page.

Kitsch from the Bitsch

It's oh so late, I am bloody tired, but this is when I do my major blogging. I cannot tell you how frustrating it has been to try to set up the launch of my Harold Lloyd book. It just isn't coming together, and now I realize it's been ten years since I've even done one of these! Never mind, let's bury ourselves in some enjoyable imagery from one of my fave FB pages, The Kitsch Bitsch.

Strange woman in bra and girdle talking on a lot of blue phones at the same time. Oh, those cords.

I don't know about the food on this page. It's almost like the dog had an accident on the rug. Nearly everything is jellied, held in suspension and quivering. This has a little moat in the middle, holding the Lord knows what. So long as it isn't moving.

As the immortal KB says, you can't make this stuff up. I devoted a whole previous post to the Munsingwear men, gleefully bantering back and forth about the state of their underwear. These undies look sort of like girdles and feature the patented "stretchy seat" that these fellows just love to dish about. Munsingwear also patented the kangaroo-pouch fly, which I can't look at for very long if it's on a certain kind of guy, because my body just sort of does this "thing" all by itself. Some sort of primitive reflex, no doubt. A hangover from my reproductive years.  Ye gods. . . time for bed. . .

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The "stretchy-seat" paradox

There's this weird, oh, I don't know, thing. This paradox. We generally assume, most of us, that being gay in the 1950s was horribly stigmatized, even persecuted, something you had to scrupulously hide in case you were "found out".

You had to be "manly", meaning devoid of any sort of attraction to your own sex. The pressure was enormous. You had to line yourself up with movie stars like Rock Hudson (oops) and Raymond Burr (double-oops), who were then believed to be rampantly heterosexual.

SO WHAT'S THIS SHIT ALL ABOUT?

These are men's underwear ads, presumably from the 1950s, in which men are in such blatantly homoerotic positions that it just makes you wonder. Is this just  "oh, surely not", or a "hey, they're just joshing around" kind of thing?

But think about it. Back then we had male comedy teams like Martin and Lewis, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. (Crosby and Danny Kaye, later "outed" as gay, even appeared in drag in White Christmas.) We had singing duos who came on Ed Sullivan - what the hell was the name of that duo? I'll have to look it up AGAIN, even though I've looked it up 27 times before. (Sandler and Young.)

But none of them appeared in these kinds of poses, like the one below, with the guy on the left just waiting to be serviced by the other guy, who seems to be getting down on his knees. This ad must have been designed by somebody like Sal Romano from Mad Men, who had to sublimate his illicit passions into his artwork.

Maybe people were gay-blind then. Or they are now, when looking back. Surely it meant something else to bandy about terms like "stretchy-seat"? We just assume everybody was clean-cut and devoid of any non-Doris-Day-humping impulses back then. In fact, if these ads are any indication, it looks like there was lots of very public boy-on-boy action going on, and it was considered completely OK. Stuff that today would make people squirm.

Like this.

These are ads for a sort of one-piece spandex jumpsuit/panty-girdle for men, with legs in it. Presumably there was a fly in them somewhere (there's some mention of a horizontal fly, a bizarre concept if ever there was one, reminding me for some reason of a sideways vagina), or maybe you just wriggled them down like women did. They had a patented "stretchy-seat" in them (no kidding!) that presumably gave a little testicular support during spontaneous wrestling matches on the living room floor. This was strong enough to contain the most explosive fart, and could not (presumably) be penetrated from the outside. I don't know if the one-piece "union suit" design ever caught on - it's hard to believe that a man would render himself that inaccessible, unless dry humping was the preferred method.

(Transcript of dialogue)

"Old Flappy-Pants-Pappy Himself!"

Pete: Can the comedy, will you? These suit me, and I like 'em. . . get it? They're Munsingwear "BREEX". They're bias-cut, with as much room and comfort behind as anybody needs. . . and what about that stingy little number you got on?

Mac: Stingy, my eye! You mean streamlined, modern. . . what a getting-around guy needs. Munsingwear, too. . . these SKIT-Shorts, with the new, easy "Stretchy-Seat" that stretches up and down.

(Transcript of dialogue)

Fred:  Gladiator! Stick to your putting! Nothing could be more comfortable than these SKIT-Trunks! They're brief enough. . . without making you look as if you'd joined a nudist colony!

Pete: Oh, yeah? Well. . . next to my skin I like air. Look at the leg-room here! And these give mild support, too!

It's strange, because I can't imagine the gayest man in the world (Elton John?) discussing "leg-room" and "mild support" (not to mention "stretchy-seat") with ANYONE, even the cutest pool-boy in the world. It's just so. . . not even gay - it's something else - just. . . disturbing.

Yet it's obvious it isn't meant to be gay. I mean, they wouldn't. I mean. . . would they?

I swear, this guy's butt looks like something out of an old Playtex girdle ad from the 1960s. Unless he has a thigh problem, and men don't usually have cellulite, I just don't get the shorts-like design of these. In fact I don't see how ANYONE could wear one of these, except maybe Ed Wood in his Glen or Glenda phase. He might get in a car accident, after all, and the doctor pronouncing him dead would see it.

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