Tuesday, January 5, 2016

"Cleanse that taco!" The taco cleanse diet


The Taco Cleanse Is a Real Diet — and Involves Eating Tacos All Day

01/04/2016 AT 01:31 PM ET


LIVIA CORONA/GETTY

Now, here’s a cleanse we can get behind.

Thanks to the self-proclaimed “taco scientists” and authors of the new book The Taco Cleanse, there’s finally a new trendy diet plan that aligns with our kind of New Year’s resolution.

Creators Wes Allison, Stephanie Bogdanich, Molly R. Frisinger and Jessica Morris developed the book after eating tacos for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days straight—and are encouraging others to do the same.

RELATED: Alex Guarnaschelli Blogs: Win Taco Tuesday with These Garlic Shrimp and Avocado Tacos




The scientists provide all the necessities for following a taco-based lifestyle including five recipes for tortillas (there’s a waffle version!), over 35 vegan recipes for fillings and all the fixings to compliment them.

While the detox plan doesn’t promise weight loss, there are plenty of other benefits.

“A taco consumed within three hours of waking, colloquially called a ‘breakfast taco,’ has been anecdotally proven to erase the ill effects of the previous night’s toxic indulgence. A midday taco frequently results in more positive physical effects,” reads the book. “The spicy taco consumed prior to sleep stimulates the nocturnal imagination and has been used by taco spiritualists to induce prophetic dreams.”

RELATED: These Celebrities Love Tacos Just as Much as You Do



So is the Taco Cleanse right for you? If the debut of the taco emoji was the highlight of your 2015, it’s safe to say the answer is definitely yes.

—Ana Calderone, @anacalderone

Blogger's stupid comments. Oh I don't know. Whatever somebody tells me to do, I do the opposite - write an erudite, interesting blog (no, write THIS one!); eat veggies (eat garbage). Get a dog (get a cat). So if someone tells me to eat tacos all day long for no discernible reason (they admit it doesn't help you lose weight), what am I going to do? Eat an anti-taco? Anti-eat a taco? (Don't want to think about that one!). Eat an ocat? Coat? Toca? Acot? Oact? Cato? Ctao? Tao C? O, act? A cot? O, cat? And other things.

Today I left a comment on someone's Facebook page. There was an article posted called Four Steps to Keeping A Safe and Tidy Blog, or something like that - distressingly bland. I said in my comment that I thought the most important thing about blogging was to post an entry every day, so the thing doesn't run down, lie fallow or crap out. The response was, "no, I don't think you should post EVERY day because you need time to work on your poetry, novel, or non-fiction book."




Having jumped into the macerator three times, and come away with less self-esteem each time, I am convinced I DO know how to write, but don't know how to successfully publish/sell books, which is what it all comes down to. No one ever mentions this on FB. All these aspiring writers just assume that when they finally finish their masterpiece, it will leap up on top of the New York Times Bestseller List all by itself. No, really - NO one seems to worry about getting an agent or a publisher or any of those tiring, tawdry things.

I hereby retire. I mean it. I will NEVER try to publish again because I am not made of the stuff that succeeds at it. I am tired of being steadily siphoned of my sense of self-worth. From now on, I write whatever dravel (blather and drivel?) I want to write, and I promise myself I will stay away from brick walls. I am 62 years old, not getting any younger, and have had my fill of humiliation.

'Scuse me while I kiss this taco.





(Post-post. Although! I will gladly sign a movie deal for Harold, and even write the film adaptation if someone will help me with it.)


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