Friday, June 10, 2016

Is that a cellphone in your pocket, or are you just from another dimension?





This is a little piece I borrowed from a site called Waffles at Noon (link below). Who knows where I saw the original photo, probably when I was looking fruitlessly for something else.

Though the article debunks the photo, I think they're just a bunch of killjoys who are not worthy of their waffles. But as with all these controversial/conspiracy-theory-oriented topics - you decide.

Classic Urban Legend: The Time Traveling Hipster






DECEMBER 10, 2015

A photo allegedly shows a modern hipster who traveled back in time to the 1940’s. Is the photo real or fake?

The photograph has been circulating since around 2010, with suggestions that the casually-dressed man’s appearance is too modern to fit into the a 1940’s setting. Here is one caption which has circulated with the photo in 2013:

In 1940, a mysterious man was photographed in Canada wearing what seems to be modern clothing and carrying a camera. Its authenticity was proven by NTV in Russia in 2010.

Is this a man with incredibly modern style? Or evidence of time travel?






THE PHOTO

The image is not Photoshopped, and the original can be found at the Bralorne Pioneer Museum in British Columbia, Canada. The people in the photo were attending the re-opening of the South Fork Bridge in British Columbia.

CLOTHING

The logo on the “modern” shirt worn by the man in the image is probably that of the Montreal Maroons hockey team, an NHL team which existed until 1938. Thus, it would be more likely to see someone wearing that shirt in 1940 than in the 2010’s.





One would expect to see this shirt in 1940.

The man’s knitted sweater also doesn’t indicate anything out of the ordinary for the 1940’s.

THE CAMERA

The “modern” camera in the man’s hands is not clearly shown, but Kodak did produce cameras of this size at the time. Another man in the image is also holding a camera.

NTV VIDEO

The caption above is correct in stating that the photo was deemed authentic by NTV in Russia, as seen in the video below:

SUNGLASSES, AND THE ERRONEOUS STANWYCK COMPARISON

Sunglasses with side shades were common in 1940, so these would not have been unusual.

In their attempts to debunk the time traveler theory, some writers have used a photo of Barbara Stanwyck wearing sunglasses in the 1940 film Double Indemnity. If you look closely, however, the glasses are not the same. Stanwyck’s glasses are actually casting a shadow on the side of her face, which – from a distance – resemble the side shades in the sunglasses worn by the man in the 1940 photo.




Barbara Stanwyck’s sunglasses are merely casting a shadow which resemble the man’s side shades.

GOOGLE TRENDS

In chart below shows search interest in this story. As you can see, it was around December 2011 when the story first went viral online. It has had several peaks in interest since that time.

OH, FUCK THAT! WE still believe in the Hipster Time Traveller! WE still believe that such a thing is possible! WE still believe a man from 1970 (or whenever) could appear in a crowd in 1940, doing whatever! WE still believe - no, the Stanwyck thing is just too ridiculous to believe.

But this! What about this??




This is a few seconds of authentic footage taken on Blackfriars Bridge, London, around 1900. The man walking casually with his coat open, pulling his hand out of his pocket, with no hat, does not fit anyone or anything around him. Look at the people walking behind him, in their stiff Edwardian garb. People did their coats up then, and ALWAYS wore hats when outside - it was considered extremely vulgar not to. Newsboys and stableboys and prostitutes wore hats. This guy is bareheaded as he swings along, perhaps tucking something (his cellphone?) into his pocket before walking casually out of frame.

I call this the Time Traveller on Blackfriars Bridge, and I got a couple of good posts out of it back when people were still reading this blog, so why not try to get a bit more juice out of it now? On the subject of hipsters, I was going to riff on this but could only think of two hipsters in all the world:




Edward Snowden, and (of course)




Still a hipster, after all these years.

Oh, you know what? It's fake. No, I mean it isn't fake, it just isn't a hipster. Look at the guy closely. He's a 1940s Joe College sort, wearing a frayed sweater (not a hoodie, as it first appears). He has a nerdy wavy slicked-back hairdo, I mean combed straight back like nobody does, and the glasses are like the glasses of a semi-blind person. I don't know what it is about the hair of men back then - you just never see it now - it was bumpy, not curly, not even wavy really, it had these bumps, and he has them. Some day someone will figure out who he is - or was, because surely he's dead by now! End of story, don't you think?

But then again. What were all those people so eager to get a glimpse of? An alien invasion, perhaps. What else would stop traffic like that?


Thursday, June 9, 2016

Louie Louie: This really IS a dirty song!





You know, not every day is a good day. Some days are crap-ass, and this is one of those days. Not that anything bad has happened. It's just that nothing has happened AT ALL.

So I look around for things to post, but mostly they look around for me, because I'm always bumping into stuff. I found a great photo, from the 1940s I think, with a modern-day time traveller in it. No doubt a masterpiece of photoshopping, but I've seen that sort of thing before, even in films, and have posted on it (see Time Traveller on Blackfriars Bridge).

time-traveller-on-blackfriars-bridge.html

This, well. If you lived through this, and let's hope you didn't, there was a great to-do about "obscene" lyrics in the song (because the words were basically indecipherable). We used to say there was a "dirty" version and a "clean" version of  Louie Louie, but I doubt that because no one ever found any evidence. I think the whole thing was a sublime example of the mondegreen, or misheard lyric, which I recently posted about. It's possible to see things, hear things, and probably even taste and touch and smell things that aren't really there: thus Finding Bigfoot and all those ridiculous ghost-hunting TV shows. But for some reason, this seems to be particularly true of hearing things.

The urban myth that the FBI spent years pursuing an investigation of the song is true. They played it forwards and backwards, upside-down and sideways, and couldn't find anything obscene (though the Kingsmen still turned out to be one-hit wonders. Just a coincidence? I. . . DON'T. . . THINK. . . SO!) I was going to post all of the FBI's smudgy, blacked-out typewritten correspondence about this, but it bored the piss out of me, so I didn't. It's even more boring than all that blacked-out shit about Roswell.




BUT! Listen to this again, and at exactly 0:55, the drummer (having fumbled his drumstick) yells "FUCK!"

Well, it might be fuck, or it might be something else. But it's Thursday, the week is dragging ass, and it should be Friday, so here it is at last, proof that Louis Lou-EYE really IS an obscene song.

POST-IT-SCRIPT: In 1972 The Kingsmen were found at the bottom of the Hudson river wearing cement overshoes, right next to Jimmy Hoffa. Just a coincidence?

You decide.

POST-POST. Oh all right. This thing would be incomplete without at least SOME examples of the kind of bullshit that went on with the FBI or the CIA or whatever (because obviously, Louie Louie posed a serious threat to national security). The reproductions of these documents are so plug-ugly that I tried to find a way to dress them up a little, paste flowers on or turn them pink or something, but it just didn't work.




This one is obviously a complaint from a citizen sent to the FBI. J. Edgar Hoover got a lot of fan mail back then, which he enjoyed reading while dressed in women's clothing. (See related post: Was Herman Goering a Transvestite?): 

was-hermann-goering-a-transvestite-you-decide





Can y'all read this? It makes for some boring reading. But this was the kind of dirty-minded thinking that led to the fracas around Louie Louie. People were hearing whatever they wanted to hear, and whatever they wanted to hear was filthy, I tell you. . . filthy!






This is sort of like, kinda-like, what they thought they heard, or maybe some people thought they heard. I can only imagine the salacious delight of these FBI agents as they listened to the thing 500 times while drinking martinis, carefully deciphering those filthy, dirty lyrics which included such words as "girl" and "park" and "awaiting". 




But as usually happens (eventually), sanity prevailed. The FBI had to admit they couldn't make out a damn thing in those lyrics, that it was just one big mush-mouthed jumble.

We could have told them that, right from the beginning! But no, J. Edgar was having a slow day and needed a project. Should've gone out and bought a hat with a veil and a new pair of heels.







Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Midlothian Man: an evolutionary throwback





Midlothian Man sees Donald Trump in bathroom floor tile

POSTED 2:24 PM, JUNE 8, 2016, BY SCOTT WISE, UPDATED AT 06:26PM, JUNE 8, 2016


MIDLOTHIAN, Va. -- Clayton Litten was sitting on his toilet, admiring his newly tiled bathroom floor when he first saw it.

"This cannot be. There's no way," Litten said when he saw the image -- "clear as day."

An image of presidential candidate Donald Trump, standing with arms folded, emerged from the tile floor.




VIEW GALLERY (4 IMAGES)

"What are the odds?" Litten asked. "One in a trillion?"

When Litten asked the workers remodeling his bathroom if they too saw Trump in the tile, he said they all agreed -- they saw the Donald.

"It's a perfect image of him!" Litten said.






Litten, a Republican who planned to vote for Trump this fall, said he sent the image of his floor to the Trump campaign.

He said he hoped the man himself would stop by for a visit when he arrived in town to campaign Friday.

"I have not yet heard from anyone yet," Litten said.







Workers for the company that installed the floor said people can see all sorts of images in tile, "sort of like when people see objects in clouds."

We sent the photo to the company for further analysis and will update this post when we hear back.

In the meantime, Litten, who said he was dying of lung cancer, is holding out hope that Donald Trump would see this story and pay him a visit.


Follow


WTVR CBS 6 Richmond
✔@CBS6


Do you see @realDonaldTrump in the floor tile?

Whatever happened to that Blue's Clues guy?




Who cares? But he was pretty creepy. I only remember this vaguely from when my grandkids were toddlers, which I call the Poop n' Pampers years. Later, the Poop n' Pull-ups, then the go-sit-on-the-potty-or-I'll-kill-you years, or - etc. etc. The Blues Clues Guy drove me crazy because he shoved his face right into the camera with these big, blank, staring eyes. He's no different now, but I'll spare you the six-minute YouTube update from which I made this gif. The significant thing about the gif is the Amazing Self-Erasing Windowpane! Look closely, and you'll notice the pawprint is actually coming off BEFORE the Blue's Clues guy takes the rag to it. He should have patented this instead of going on to a failed career as a rock musician. Still, he lives in a penthouse in New York, and my guess is some very rich guy is keeping him, and they "do it" to reruns of Blue's Clues. Oh, sorry - that was a really horrible joke, but then, that was a really horrible show. Except for the self-erasing windowpane.


Didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped


 






This gif is made up of TWENTY separate images which I photoshopped onto paper, then ran as a gif sequence. Hmmm. I thought the facial  expressions would be more graduated, but they aren't. I really couldn't tell.  It took a while to do this, it was absorbing, but as with all these animations, I have no idea how they will turn out until I actually see them. 

I will admit I like the slower one better, but since these can run at any speed I want, I also did one double-time.




And here are the images! I want to post them one at a time to try to impress you with how much work this was, but the reaction would probably be, "what a stupid thing to spend your time on", or (the same thing, really) "Jeez, I wish I had time to do that sort of stuff." Waste my time on it.






















Don't understand TED talks? Just watch this!





Tuesday, June 7, 2016

They Cut My Beard and Forced Me to Eat It Remix





Niki Hoeky: get hip to the cogitation, ASSHOLES!




Way down Louisiana
Down in Cajun land
Folks got something goin'
Goes something like
Care folk a-t-tootsie

I wants to t'tie ya puppe'tame me
Dim ya on a scoobydoo
I dig you on'a scuba-die
I oh boo-ga-foo you
You ooh boog-a-boo you, little girl
Get hip to the cogitation of the boolawee




Golly, squally miss Molly
Everything's copesetic now
Loog-a-boo, look at you
What I'd like to do to you girl
You woka-b-boo-you
You oh boog-a-boo you, little girl
Get hip to the cogitation of the boolawee
Mmmmm

Niki, Niki, Niki Hoeky
Pappy's doing time in the pokey
Your sister's on a trip
Your momma got hip
Little girl you're lookin' ok
You ooh boog-a-boo you
You ooh boog-a-boo you
Get hip to the cogitation of the boolawee

(musical interlude with humming)



You oh boo-ka-boo you
You oh boo-ka-boo you, little girl
Get hip to the cogitation of the boolawee

Listen to me now
Niki, Niki, Niki Hoeky
Your pappy's doing time in the pokey
Your sister's on a trip
Your momma got hip
Little girl you're lookin' ok
You oh boog-a-boo you
You oh boog-a-foo you, little girl
Get hip to the cogitation of the boolawee




I talk about you boo-la
(mm-mm-mm)
Come on I talk about you wisssh.
I talk about you boo-la
Talk about you wisssh.


NOTE. I sort of get this. And I'm sort of upset about it. It's the usual thing. When I try to find the lyrics to any popular song, then compare it to the actual (recorded) song, the internet version is always wildly wrong.

Well, no. Lamely wrong. The most unimaginitive reduction of a spicy pun into a plodding non-metaphor, because, gee, we just don't GET what he was trying to say here! It doesn't make sense, see. So this is sort of what he might of/ought to have said.

The weird thing is, these mondegreens (misheard lyrics: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen) are exactly the same on every lyric site. They do not come from the original, published sheet music. They can't. Someone listens to the song and transcribes it and writes down what they think it might be. If it doesn't make sense to them, they make something up.

This dulls down the brilliance or at least the spark of the original song, irons out any irony and removes all those pesky puns.




How this-all started was with something I saw on Facebook - I barely pay attention on Facebook any more, it's like filing my nails or eating a Popsicle, just something to do. It was a post that was sort of  like "do you like new ideas? Do you love baking, walking dogs, picking your nose?" It was supposed to be a satiric take on those old ads to recruit dazzling original thinkers. A line jumped into my head, something I had not thought about since I was thirteen years old:

Get hip to the cogitation.

It came from a song, of course. From way back. But I could only remember bits of it, and not the title.

I followed it backwards by googling just that line, and got nothing at first. Then I added "your father's doing time in the pokey." Slowly it began to resolve into a recognizable song.

I found the lyrics on umpteen lyric sites, in fact, and they all said the same thing.




Niki, niki, niki, hoeky. Pappy's doing time in the pokey. Your mama died hip, your sister's on a trip.

Etc. etc., then the line:

Get hip to the CONSULTATION.

I couldn't believe it was consultation. Had I been wrong all those years? I found the original recording by P. J. Proby on YouTube, and listened for it.

NO

NO

NO

NO, the word was not, never was, never would be, no matter WHO recorded it (and a lot of people did after P. J. Proby), "consultation". Though it was hard to make out, there was no "s" sound anywhere in the word. It was repeated several times. It was "cogitation". It was, and it is.

So why  -

Every site you go on will say the same thing. Consultation. These things multiply, they divide, they seethe like gunky slimy pools of frog's eggs. Identical, WRONG tadpoles hatch out and turn into WRONG frogs who then lay the WRONG eggs.

Wrong.

All I can think of is that someone mondegreened the lyrics decades ago, then they somehow got glommed on to everyone's lyric site so that they would all be wrong in exactly the same (obnoxious, insulting, STUPID) way.




But we fixed it, I think. Not that anybody cares! The transcribed lyric for this was just so riddled with mistakes that I had to go over it line by line, playing the recording 8 or 9 times to make "corrections" to some sort of unintelligible patios, and then giving up.

I can't find anything about the provenance of this song. I can't, and I don't want to look at it any more. These could be Cajun-isms, they could, because Cajun is a language unto itself, but if it were Cajun I think I'd see more French mixed in with it. It's not unlike Acadian, the Canadian version, and at one point Cajuns and Acadians were one people. One went north, one went south, one went over the cuckoo's nest.

But I happen to know - I'd stake my very life on it - that no one has ever been hip to the CONSULTATION. That idea is now gasping its last breath while it writhes in the dust.




POST-BLOG COGITATION (NOT consultation), or at least a comparison. I tried to find an "authentic Cajun song", that is, without knocking my brains out, and thought of Doug Kershaw, who really was (is?) Cajun and had a few hits. I don't remember much about those songs, so googled the lyrics for the best-known one, looking for either French or the sort of gibberish that appeared in Niki Niki Hoeky.

Diggy Diggy La and Diggy Diggy Lo
Fell in love at the Fais Do Do
The pop was cold and the coffee chaud
For Diggy Diggy La and Diggy Diggy Lo





Diggy Diggy La and Diggy Diggy Lo
Everyone knows he was her beau
No other girl could ever show
So much love for Diggy Diggy Lo

That's the place they find romance
Where they do the Cajun dance
Steal a kiss with every chance
Show their love with every glance

Ah, yeah, no, I don't see any. The only "Cajunisms" are Fais Do Do (which is literally translated, if I remember my Grade 7 French, as "go to sleep"), "chaud" to rhyme with "do do", and "pop", the Canadian version of "soda". This might have some dim, far-gone Acadian origin, but I doubt it because there was no pop back in 1743.

Not much frazzlin' Cajun spice THERE, is there, boys and girls?




So on to that other one, the one Hank Williams did:

Well, goodbye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh
Me gotta go to pole the pirogue down the bayou
My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh
I am a son of a gun, we gonna have big fun on the bayou

Yeah, jambalaya and a crawfish pie and filé gumbo
'Cause tonight, I'm gonna see my ma cher amio
You pick guitar, you fill fruit jar and be gay-o
'Cause I am a son of a gun, we gonna have big fun on the bayou



Well, Thibadaux, well, Fontaineaux, the place is buzzin'
And kinfolks come to see Yvonne by the dozen
You dress in style, you go hog wild and be gay-o
'Cause I am a son of a gun, we gonna have big fun on the bayou

It's a little bit Cajun/Acadian. "Pole the pirogue" sounds like some Polish guy eating perogies, but then I could have my ethnicity wrong. More likely, it refers to a sort of pole barge, like a gondola. Yvonne, yeah, she's French. File gumbo, cher amio, all the other family names - and that's about it, no fancy stuff, no verbal yodelling or Golly, squally, miss Molly. So maybe Niki Hoeky is just a sort of nonsense rhyme, the sort of thing we clapped to in school, the cum-la, cum-la, cum-la feast-a that I was astonished to find on YouTube.




P. S. There are even more versions. I just found out. Burton Cummings pronounces it "condensation", whereas various Motown versions sound more like "conversation", and I've also heard "consolation". But NOBODY says "consultation".

(next day) OH WAIT! There's more.

Another contender for this mystery word is "conflagration", a supposed reference to lighting a joint. So now we've got it down to SIX choices, one of which is definitely wrong:

Cogitation
Condensation
Conversation
Consolation
Conflagration
(and, the ever-wrong) Consultation

Pick one. You might as well do it blindfolded. But when I hear it, I STILL hear "cogitation".